by A. Z. Green
But Jaz warned herself to keep her head down and her distance from Fraya at all times and to never walk alone in the dark, because no doubt, she was more bitter and nastier than before and probably blamed Jaz for being punished.
Maybe it was her? She thought of the dark brown Beast, inches from tearing her throat out before being pummeled by the black Beast and shuddered. God I hope not.
After twenty minutes they reached a row of ski shack-like buildings. One was a butchers, the other a dentist, other various small stores. There were eight buildings in all.
Jaz spotted the pharmacy on the right end. The front was quaint and picturesque with hanging flower baskets filled to the brim with pansies in vibrant colours. There was a welcome mat by the glass, framed door. A dark green plaque with bold white letters labelled the odd building 'The Pharmacy'. Only the plaque suited the business she imagined inside. But when she stepped inside, it wasn't how she'd imagined at all.
'The Pharmacy', -which was more like a botanics store- was stocked full of wild flowers and herbs harvested from the land all around them, though some had been imported too. All the plants had been harvested, prepared for their particular use and placed neatly in jars, smaller sized tubs and squeezy bottles which were arranged beautifully in woven baskets.
The shop owner, Skye's uncle -a middle-aged man with reddish hair thinning at his temples, a crooked nose, pleasant smile and bright, youthful grey eyes- greeted them both happily. He invited Jaz to look around whilst he dealt with Skye's order.
He had homemade teas, pastes that were probably used externally as a cream or mask -like the one Skye had put on Jaz's feet and sliced palm (both fully healed with minimal scarring)- and also a selection of bottled drinks and freshly packaged cakes and bars that Jaz suspected were pumped full of good stuff.
She rubbed the faint line on her palm absently with her other thumb remembering what she'd heard the others say.
People here rarely ate junk food or anything processed, packaged or microwaveable, looking after their bodies like sacred temples. Although apparently they treated themselves occasionally. But Jaz had yet to see it for herself.
God how she missed chocolate, she thought longingly. She had a soft spot for rich, dark chocolate, especially with a bit of chilli. Her parents had always pulled a face of displeasure when she ate it in front of them. She cut off anymore thoughts about them immediately.
Jaz continued to stand by Skye, gazing around at all the products on sale whilst Skye stocked her bag full with medicinal creams and teas and things Jaz had no idea what they were or were used for.
As she scanned around the room she spotted a jar on a shelf, completely packed with them. This one in particular caught her eye. She didn't recognize the plant inside but the name on the label grabbed her interest. 'Hemlock'.
When Skye's uncle had gone in the back to fetch something, Jaz caught Skye's attention and she walked over. Jaz then pointed to the jar. “What's this for? Isn't it poisonous?” she asked in a low voice.
“Yep, but in small doses it's not harmful to us,” Skye shrugged.
“What do you use it for?”
Skye leaned in to whisper. “I don't personally. It's for Pack members who go undercover outside for a long period of time, just in case they feel the need to Change in an risky place.”
“What? You mean they take this and they what... don't Change?”
Skye bobbed her head side to side.“Sort of. It basically suppresses it for longer but it's really dangerous and is only used in an emergency, by someone who is fully capable.
I heard of one guy who used it to control his shakes on a mission. He took too much and died. It's a taboo drug really but my uncle is careful about it,” she reassured, thinking that was Jaz's main concern.
Then Skye's uncle was back and the conversation was cut short.
Jaz stared at the jar of poison.
She wondered how it worked. How it was used and measured. How much was too much? Did it really worked? Could it ease the shakes and hold off a Change?
And then the idea began brewing inside of her mind until no matter how much she argued against it, it stayed in there, bugging her for two whole days before she finally made the decision to come back. Alone.
*
“How much is this?”
The Pharmacist squinted above his half-moon spectacles to focus on the jar Jaz pointed at. His expression changed from polite boredom to uncomfortable and wary like he'd been shocked in the behind. “It depends on the reason for use?”
Jaz stared at him unflinching as he scrutinized her with his warm, grey eyes. His thick reddish brows tinted with grey shadowed them, emphasizing the seriousness of his expression. After a moment she said, “I read that it's a very good antispasmodic drug.”
His eyes lit up in surprise.“Yes...” he said hesitantly. “But then so is peppermint oil, amongst many other things. Medicine that is much safer.”
Jaz rested her hand on the wooden surface by her hip, below the shelf with the hemlock. She tapped the wood with her fingers a few times before replying, “I was told hemlock had more kick. That I could take a dose that would be lethal to a human and it wouldn't harm me. Enough to ease my spasms. I doubt peppermint oil will have the same effect.” She had a casual but oddly firm expression and tone.
He knew she'd be difficult to sway. He took in her appearance, knowing she was a new Pack member, and a thought came to him. “Are you experiencing pre-Change spasms?” Jaz simply nodded. “There is not much I can do about that I'm afraid. The risks are certainly too high to give you Hemlock, especially in your current condition. It might kill you.”
Just when he thought he'd convinced her she asked, “What part of the plant is less poisonous? The roots?”
He paused. “Y-yes. It is still very poisonous but as far as I'm aware, not as strong.”
“And it is better to have it dried than raw?”
He raised a brow suspiciously. “Yes,” he said in a low questioning voice. “Where did you find this information out, if I may ask?”
She looked at him with her dark blue eyes and smiled sweetly. “Google.” He stared at her blankly. “I'll take some dried roots, as much as you can give me. If you could show me how to use it, I'd be very grateful.”
It took a moment for the Pharmacist to get into gear; stupefied by this feisty girl's manner and demands. But he saw the calmness in her face, an expression he'd seen on those he'd served hemlock to before. A steady competence. He decided to give her a very small dose, much less than he gave his other clients. He then clearly explained everything.
After ten minutes of him telling her how to brew it as a tea and how often to drink it -a quarter teaspoonful once every two days- and then unhappily packing the hemlock roots into a sealed plastic bag, -the unpleasant smell of rodent wafting into their nostrils- he handed it to her.
It was Jaz's moment to hesitate. “Aren't I supposed to pay you with something?”
He shook his head. “We're a sharing community. Skye tells me you work hard helping her with her chores, I'd say you've earned this.”
Jaz smiled politely -glad to find he was an honest man of principal- and held onto the bag without taking it from him, as if frozen. He looked up at her in question and with her beautiful eyes locked on his lined face she said, “I hope I've also earned your discretion?” It wasn't so much a warning but a question with an edge to it.
He blinked above his glasses and slowly removed them and his hand from the bag, placing both hands on the desk in front of him. He gazed up at her and said, “If the lady doesn't give reason to cause alarm, customer confidentiality is upheld. I hope you understand?” Jaz did and closed her eyes with a slight forward tilt of her head to show it. He smiled. “I wouldn't want to see something so sweet, turn sour.”
She smiled lightly, tucked the bag into the front pocket of her hoodie and with a gentle wave and a 'Thank you' she left.
Leaving Egor contemplating whether or not to tell her unc
le or keep his nose out of it.
~Chapter 30- Stir~
Wednesday, June 22nd
After seeing Driver as a Beast, she'd managed to push both him and Lora from her mind, wiping away any pain or unwanted feelings from her already overloaded brain. Until two weeks later, a week after her second visit to the pharmacy. Edda had come into the cabin just around noon, carrying a cardboard box. Jaz was about to take another bite out of a slice of buttered toast when she caught sight of the writing on the side of the box, in black marker, and stopped dead. Her eyes widened to the size of golf balls.
Edda saw her reaction but didn't say anything until she'd placed it on the breakfast bar in front of her. Jaz slowly lowered her toast back onto the plate staring at her sister's name.
“Her things,” Edda mumbled.
Jaz's forehead creased as the pain of loss stabbed her in the chest. She hadn't felt or understood the pain as much as she did right then.
She'd known her sister through a diary, through the words of others and writing on paper, and a horrible nightmare that had plagued her thoughts for a whole year.
And here was something personal, something she could touch and smell and look at and know it had belonged to the sister she had never known. The sister who although until recently, she hadn't known had existed, she'd always felt was alive. Never knowing what that empty feeling of being separated from her was. Or that it was even emptiness she was feeling, until the night Lora tragically died.
Now she understood the pain.
It was like half of her had been hacked away.
The crushing, harrowing emptiness had given her sleepless nights and remembering all of that took the wind out of her lungs.
She gasped and a sob escaped her lips.
Edda stared, frozen.
Jaz clamped her hand over her mouth and nose and shuddered. A cry that was muffled into a grieving moan reverberated through her hand and the tears flowed. She removed her hand after giving herself a moment to control herself and breathed.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered and then sobbed again, exhaling and inhaling as if desperate for air.
“It's okay. I-I should apologize. I didn't know...I didn't realize how much this would...”
Jaz shook her head, wiping her eyes. “It was just suddenly...too much.” She let out a choked sound that was a cross between a sob and a sad laugh, and sniffled.
Edda bobbed her head in understanding.
When Jaz's cries stopped and settled into silent tears, Edda spoke again. “Nik had these stored. He thought you might want them and asked me to give them to you.”
Jaz had looked up at hearing his name. Now she frowned. “He gave it to you, to give to me...?” she trailed off, staring at a space by the fireplace.
Edda gave her a searching look, her furrowed brow pulling her light brown eyebrows together, before slowly nodding. “He thought it best.”
Jaz wasn't happy with that answer though she told herself, what more did she expect?
During the days he'd been free from her mind but at night when she was alone she'd spent them trying to think from his point of view.
On the night she'd nearly been killed, and saved by him. She'd run off, she'd recoiled from him and she'd been avoiding him. Just as much as he'd clearly been avoiding her.
It upset her to think that she'd offended him enough to put the responsibility of delivering something as important as her dead sister's belongings, into the hands of Edda.
“I guess,” she mumbled. “Thanks.”
“It's okay. Anyway, I'm going out for a while. You'll be alright?”
Jaz nodded. “Edda?” She called after her. Edda turned with her hand poised on the door handle. “Did I offend him?” She regarded Jaz with curious eyes. “Is that why he gave it to you instead of coming himself?”
Edda frowned and still frowning, her lips pulled up into a smile. “No of course not! I don't know exactly what happened that night but I do know that you saw him as he truly is. And it scared you. How could it have not? We both understand that. I think he just thought you needed your space... Plus it can't be easy. Seeing Lora's things again. I guess it was too painful for him to bring it himself.” They paused for a moment. Edda wavering by the door, seeing Jaz was about to ask something.
“What does he do, during the day?”
Edda smiled knowingly. “He works a lot. Spends a lot of time in his office, or at council meetings. He's a bit of a workaholic. Today though, what time is it?” She glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and Jaz followed suit. “Twelve thirty. He'll be in the gym. He's got a class.”
“He teaches boxing,” Jaz stated. She'd seen him there enough times, self-consciously feeling his eyes on her whether he was or he wasn't. She didn't know. She rarely looked his way, even when her confidence increased as her power and skill on the bag had flourished.
“Amongst other things. Martial arts like Tai Chi, Kung fu, Taikwondo. He's very good.”
“Where did he learn all that?” Jaz asked astonished.
“He reads. A lot.”
Jaz smiled. That pleased her very much but her smile faded as the apprehension of seeing him again gnawed at her bones.
*
12:58 p.m.
She watched with awe as Nik Driver fought on the mat with a man she didn't know.
She'd seen the nameless man once or twice in the gym, maybe passed him on her walks or through the corridors, but now she was unsure if she'd ever recognize him again after this.
How easily Driver smashed the guy's pasty face in like playdo. Blood sprayed off the man as easily as sweat. It was painful, horrifying and fascinating to watch.
Driver was a skilled fighter. His jabs were sharp and quick. He had a mean left hook. That was where the power was. But that was nothing compared to his kicks. She flinched, slapping her hands to her open mouth as he crushed the man's stomach in and watched as the winded man folded over Driver's leg like a towel on a rail.
She hadn't realized she'd gasped aloud until someone made it known to her. The last person in the world she'd ever want to see.
“Gasping for Driver's hot, sweaty body are we?” The cold voice was so close she jumped back, her hand still clamped on her mouth as her gaze met Fraya's hard, beautiful, charcoal eyes.
Jaz slowly lowered her hand, feeling it clench into a fist. Every instinct in her body was telling her to get away. She knew being alone with Fraya was a very stupid and dangerous place to be. To hide her trepidation she flung back her sarcasm. “Not as much as you must be, knowing what you're missing out on.”
Fraya's eyes widened momentarily in surprise. She scowled and smiled at the same time. It wasn't a pleasant sight. “Jealous?”
“No,” Jaz said so matter-of-factly
Fraya was again surprised. She wasn't used to being spoken to like this. Not by someone physically weaker than her. They glowered at each other for a long agonizing minute. Jaz was so proud of herself for keeping her cool.
“I hear you got attacked a few weeks ago. Shame I missed it.” J
az was relieved it hadn't been Fraya. Though she had always been sure that the Beast had been male anyway. “Nik saved me in time,” she replied carefully.
“It's funny, I heard the Weed grew some claws and slashed Rufus's face up.”
She tried not to show how much Fraya knowing this got to her. It was personal and she was the last person on the planet she wanted to know about her hand-claw fright. So she lied. “Really? Guess he must have been mistaken. Nik messed him up pretty good.”
Fraya scrutinized her with laser eyes. “He said your hand changed into a claw.” Jaz stared, saying nothing. “Do you know why that's so interesting?”
“I take it you're gonna tell me anyway.”
“Because no one can do that,” Fraya snarled. Jaz frowned. “We cannot turn parts of our bodies into Beast form. We have to Change completely.”
“So he's mistaken then.”
“We can't Change. But I've heard
that unpure bloods can. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?”
Jaz's body steeled. “Not a lot.”
“Convenient.”
“Sorry I couldn't be of more help,” she said unapologetically.
Fraya scowled. And then the most evil and spine-chilling smile stretched across her face. Jaz's bladder turned to ice water.
“I guess I could always talk to the Cur Hunters,” Fraya said ominously.
Jaz hated her ignorance but she had to ask.“Who?”
“A little organization that exterminates unpure scum like you.”
Jaz stared in disbelief. “I think you need to take a serious chill pill and maybe get some counseling to deal with the bitter, twisted bitch in you. You think because Nik rejected you, you can drive away any woman he takes even a little interest in? Even if you might be wrong, like right now? That's like Glenn Close Bunny-Boiling bitch crazy.”
“I'll prove what you are,” she growled.
Jaz glowered at her vehemently. “You don't know what you're talking about. And if you don't want to find out whether I can rip the skin off your face, I suggest you stay the fuck away from me.”
Fraya grinned. “I guess I could always tell the Cur's to pay your folks a visit. And I'm not just talking about your real parents. They'll find out what all of them know. They have very powerful, painful ways of persuasion.”
Jaz felt something inside of her snap and before she could rationalize or prevent what her raw instincts were telling her to do, she slapped Fraya so hard in the face her hand throbbed afterwards.
Fraya's head snapped to the right, almost cracking against the wall. She stared back at her like a tiger that had been bitch-slapped and Jaz swallowed a squeak just before Fraya's fist knocked against her face like a boulder. Jaz's head flopped back, hitting against the heavy wooden door. She clutched her throbbing nose with one hand whilst shielding her face with the other.
