“I dinnae know.” Darach shook his head. “One moment ‘twas in my pocket, the next ‘twas gone.”
Darach again eyed the trees. Where was she? They’d been gone too long.
“Interesting,” Grant murmured. “Somehow I imagine this all ties into ye avoiding becoming chieftain. How so, Son?”
He should have known his father would lead the conversation in this direction. Yet one of his long-standing reasons for not becoming laird had just become a moot point. “It doesnae matter now, Da…it doesnae matter in the least.”
“So ‘twas something to do with Jackie?”
“Partly,” he conceded.
Yet there was another part. One his father had long speculated and reiterated now.
“And partly because ye still remain bitter that I ended up staying at Hamilton Castle despite my youth there,” he said softly. “Ye shouldnae blame it on our people. ‘Twas not their fault.”
If only it were that simple. Though tempted to say they weren’t technically their people by blood, he wasn’t in the mood to go down that same tired road. Right now he wanted Jackie to return so he could make sure she was all right.
Restless, he stood and squeezed his father’s shoulder. “We’ll talk more of this later. I need to walk and clear my head.”
“Son?”
“Aye?”
His father’s eyes were more troubled than ever when they met his. “Ye know that no matter what comes of all this I love ye… and that I’m verra proud of ye.”
“Aye, Da, I know. I love ye too,” he murmured before he left.
It didn’t take long to find Rònan and Heidrek. They were chatting in a narrow rock corridor that led to what he suspected was a smaller glade. He remained shocked by Heidrek’s recent revelation. Not only about being a Dragon Seer but by what the Viking implied after that.
That he was no longer pursuing Jackie.
While some might speculate it was because she was sick, Darach knew better. Whatever happened had more to do with Erin and like Heidrek said, recent changes. Changes that had to do with dragon blood.
“Cousin.” Rònan frowned as Darach joined them. “How fare ye?”
“I’ve been better.” Darach frowned as well. “How is Jackie?”
“Upset the last we saw of her,” Heidrek said. “She has been speaking with Erin for some time.”
He nodded and clenched his jaw. If anyone could tell her exactly what she needed to hear it was Erin.
Rònan eyed Darach. “From what Erin’s told me, Jackie is verra strong of mind, Cousin. She will be all right. We will make sure she is.”
“And how will we do that?” Darach bit out. “With our brawn? Our weapons? Our battle skills? Because if I understood Da's implication correctly, nothing of this world can help her.”
Rònan leaned against the rock wall, hung his head and remained silent.
“You’re right. It seems unlikely anything of this world can help her, but perhaps something not entirely of this plane can.” Heidrek held out the blade that Rònan had so recently tossed to him. “I cannot in good faith keep this. It is meant for he who not only intends to keep Jackie safe but love her with his whole heart.”
Darach’s eyes narrowed. “And that man isnae ye then?”
“No.” Heidrek shook his head, eyes a little sad. “Though I had hoped otherwise, it cannot be.”
Darach’s eyes went to Rònan. “Is this because of Erin?”
“Aye.” Rònan’s eyes went from Heidrek to Darach. “He doesnae want her for his own but senses another affiliated to her. Someone he must meet before he commits to any other.”
So he was meant for another lass?
Once he knew they didn’t have a problem in regards to Erin, Darach nodded at Heidrek and took the sword. Relief washed over him the moment he held it.
It had been no easy thing giving up this blade.
“Who is this person affiliated with Erin?” he asked.
“I do not know.” Heidrek appeared unsettled. “Someone part of her lineage. Someone connected to her dragon blood.”
Darach’s brows perked. “So someone from the far future?”
“Yes.”
“Aunt McKayla has been rambling about visions of late,” Rònan said. “Stories she wants to write about our Viking Ancestors’ kin and lasses from the future. When Erin is available, we’ll talk more with her about her family. See if there’s anything we should know.”
“Ah.” Darach’s eyes connected with Heidrek’s. “So ye willnae be pursuing my lass anymore? Just like that, ye can shut off your attraction to her? Because dinnae tell me it wasnae there.”
“Your lass then?” Rònan echoed, but he heard the approval in his voice.
“My attraction to Jackie was there. It still is,” Heidrek said without hesitation. “But to ignore the call of my dragon is to deny who I am. What I am. And I would never turn my back on such a thing despite how much I cared for a woman. If I did, then I would not be worthy of accepting the Viking King’s crown someday.”
While Darach appreciated his honesty, he would rather the Viking had lost interest in her altogether.
“If nothing else, Jackie is my friend,” Heidrek continued. “And I will not leave her until I know she’s safe from harm.”
Darach was about to respond when Erin appeared.
Where was Jackie?
Rònan pulled Erin against him and kissed the top of her head. His voice remained respectful and soft. “How does Jackie fare, lass?”
“She's hanging in there.” She sighed. “Learning that she can resurrect isn’t really fazing her all that much. At least not yet.” Her eyes went between Darach and Heidrek. “I think what's bothering her more right now is the part about the guy who loves her facing death.” Erin pressed her cheek against Rònan’s chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Can’t say I blame her.”
By the look on Heidrek’s face, Darach would bet Jackie already had two men who loved her. One was just convinced he had to walk away.
“Where is she now?” Darach asked.
“Around the bend. She needed some alone time,” Erin said. “Don’t worry, it’s a dead end, and she’s well protected.”
Darach headed that way.
“I said alone time,” Erin called after him, but he ignored her.
The last thing she needed was to be alone.
More than that, he needed to see her.
To know she was all right.
He found her in an area no larger than a small courtyard. Covered in grass, a few small pines grew up the walls, and she sat in a tiny alcove carved into the rock. Her eyes were closed as she rested her cheek on bent knees. It was impossible not to sense how sad she was.
“Jackie?” he said softly. “Are you okay?”
Her eyes locked on him before she sighed. “Thanks for checking on me but I need a little time to…” She shook her head and rested it back against the stone, emotion evident in her voice. “I just need some time to process things.”
“Aye, lass.” But she wouldn’t be processing them alone. He set his swords aside and sank down against the wall beside her. “I willnae bother you. Nor will I leave you here by yourself.”
“Seriously, I need time alone,” she murmured.
“The last thing you need is to be alone.” He crossed his legs, leaned his head back and shut his eyes. “I willnae say a word. Just allow me to…” Emotion thickened his voice. “Just allow me to be here. Let me watch over you.”
Please let it be okay because he couldn’t stand to be anywhere else right now.
A long silence passed before she said, “The words ‘watch over you’ usually imply that the one doing the watching has their eyes open.”
“I’m a wizard.” The corner of his lips hitched up. “That means I can watch over you with my eyes closed.”
“Even when you can’t use magic?” she mocked.
He was relieved to hear an edge of humor in her voice. So he looked at her. Head
still resting back, she was watching him.
Their eyes locked for a long moment before he spoke. “I willnae pressure you to tell me a thing, Jackie, but you should know something now. Though I might not have acted like it so far, I’m your friend.”
“I’m glad you said that,” she whispered. “Because I could always use another friend.” Before he could respond, she kept going. “But just a friend and nothing more.” Pain flashed in her beautiful brown eyes. “I won’t subject any man to what your dad hinted at. Not you or Heidrek or anyone else.” Her voice grew firm. “I’m officially off the market.”
Unlike his cousins, he had spent a lot of time in the twenty-first century and understood her terminology. She refused to be with any man. No one would die because they loved her.
But it was already too late.
Because he had fallen in love with her before they ever met.
Nonetheless, now wasn’t the time for any of that. Now was the time to give her exactly what she asked for. What she needed.
Friendship.
“Then you’re off the market.” He grinned. “That makes this far less complicated, aye?”
Her eyes narrowed for a moment before she nodded once. “Actually, it does.”
Darach kept grinning. “Now that we’ve settled that, can I stay and keep you company?”
“As if you wouldn’t have anyway,” she said.
“True,” he conceded. “But at least now mayhap we can talk? Mayhap I can do what I should have from the start and get to know you better?”
“Hmm.” Jackie kept eying him. “I don’t know.” She made a show at considering it before she relented. “I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever having a little company right now.” She shrugged. “And getting to know each other better.”
Before he could speak, she held up a finger, voice stern. “As long as you realize I’m standing my ground. Friends. Nothing more.”
“Friends and nothing more,” he agreed.
“I mean it.”
“As do I.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely.”
Darach knew by the way she kept studying him that she didn’t believe him. Not entirely. But it seemed she wanted to connect more than anything else. And he didn’t blame her. If he were sick, he would want to connect with people too.
Anything to hold onto his humanity.
“So who would you like to talk about first? Me or you?” He issued his most charming smile. “Because I imagine we’re both verra interesting.”
The corner of her lip twitched. As though she wanted to smile but fought it. “Why don’t we start with you?” She rolled a pebble between her fingers. “Who is Darach Hamilton? I know you’ve avoided becoming laird and that you’re on the go a lot. Like everyone else, I figure the two are related. That’s about all I know of you outside of our brief time in New Hampshire.”
Darach pondered how much he should say, but in the end found himself telling her more than expected.
“I’ve been a handful for my parents from the beginning.” He offered a small smile. “I started walking far later than I should have because of my magic. Whilst I dinnae remember it all that well, Da says ‘twas because I’m a wizard of air, and unfortunately my gift ignited when I was learning to walk.” He chuckled. “There’s nothing quite like a wee bairn getting caught in air currents when they’re trying to stand. From what I hear ‘twas comical.”
There was a soft smile on Jackie’s face when she said, “I can only imagine. You poor thing.”
“Och, nay,” Darach scoffed. “Once I got the hang of it, I was just fine. I didnae suffer the same sort of strife again until years later when I began to learn how to battle and deal with weaponry.”
Her eyebrows perked. “Uh oh.”
“Uh oh is right.” He shook his head. “Whilst I thought I was in control of my magic by then, ‘twas not the case. All went well enough when I used wooden swords. However, when I swung my first metal sword, everyone realized fast that the weight and mayhap the element of metal made a difference.”
Jackie scrunched her nose, amusement in her eyes as she leaned forward. “What happened?”
“I remember the day well as I’m sure most of my clan does. Ma and Da were there. It was high noon, and the sun was bright. The weather was bonnie. There was nothing but a light breeze. One that all should have heeded I suppose.” Darach wiped a hand over his face and shook his head, remembering. “When I swung the sword, it rippled the air in a way nobody anticipated. Chickens flipped, and feathers went everywhere. The head cook happened to be passing through at the time and tripped when she couldn’t see. Regrettably, she was carrying a tray full of porridge and ale.”
He offered her a sheepish look. “Caught in the wind currents I created, the porridge ending up all over the lad I was set to fight. Good thing it had already cooled off. Worse than that, a mug of ale sat overturned on Da’s head. He was dripping wet, his outfit a sodden mess. ‘Twas most unfortunate considering several lairds from neighboring clans had just arrived.”
Jackie put a hand over her mouth, eyes merry as she mumbled, “You’re kidding me?”
“Nay.” Darach shook his head and smiled. “While Ma did her best to save the day and greet the clansmen properly, she did it through a good run of tears she was laughing so hard.”
“Oh, God.” Jackie’s chuckle turned into a bubble of laughter. “I can totally see it. Your mom would’ve got a kick out of that.”
“Oh, she did.” Darach chuckled too, pleased by the light in her eyes when she spoke of his mother. “I know ‘twas Ma’s influence that had Da setting aside that mug and grinning at me before he turned his attention to the chieftains and welcomed them with a wide smile.”
“What makes you think it was your mom’s influence?” Jackie cocked her head. “Your Dad might run a little serious at times, but something tells me he would’ve responded that way even if your mom wasn’t there.”
“Mayhap,” Darach murmured. “’Tis hard to know with Da.”
“So it seems.” Jackie perched the pebble she’d been fiddling with on her bent knee. “But I think he’s just that way because of his beginnings. A lone soldier.” She kept her knee level and removed her hand so the pebble stayed in place. “I think when people find out at a young age that they’ve got to act a certain way to maintain their mental stability, their simple humanity, it sort of sticks with them. It forms who they are.”
Darach eyed her. “You can relate to my Da?”
“Maybe.” Jackie kept her eyes trained on the pebble and her knee steady. “I can understand getting through ones circumstances, and learning to play the cards you’ve been dealt. Of making the most of a bad situation. I can relate to being grateful that I had a roof over my head and that even with the bad, there’s good to be had if you just stick it out.”
Darach wanted to ask a thousand questions.
He wanted to understand what put that haunted look in her eyes outside of the obvious.
“Your dad’s a good guy. Powerful,” she murmured. “But that’s not what he wants you to take from knowing him.”
Irritation flared just beneath the surface, but he tempered it. Jackie didn’t need that. But what did she know of his father? Nothing he hadn’t already figured out…or so he assumed.
“Da was tortured and imprisoned in the castle I’m to call my own. That I’m to become laird of,” he said. “Outside of the obvious, understanding what he wants and doesnae want from me hasnae always been easy to figure out.”
“I don't know. I'd say he wants you to be happy.” Her eyes met his. “And to keep an open line of communication with him.”
He knew what she was getting at and supposed he ought to address it and clear the air. “I'm sorry Da got upset with you about Heidrek. He didnae have all the facts and was looking out for me.”
“Oh, I knew what he was doing.” She gave him a pointed look. “So does he have all the facts now?”
“Aye,
lass.” He returned her pointed look. One that had everything to do with her revealing that they'd kissed. “Even more than I would've told him it seems.”
A little smirk curled her lips and she shrugged before she scooped the pebble off her knee and started fiddling with it again. “Tell me about your life after you got the hang of magic. You’re not married. That’s a little surprising all things considered.”
He could only imagine what she meant by that. Mayhap his upcoming title and how that might appeal to a lass?
“Nay, not married.” Though hard to do, he tore his eyes from her face and focused on the pine nearby. What should he say now? The truth? Lies? How much was acceptable? In the end, his gut told him to keep giving her exactly what came to mind. “I really liked a lass once, but it didnae work out for the best.”
“You really liked just one woman?” He heard the tempered humor in her voice. “I find that hard to believe.”
Darach knew she was hedging toward rumors of him and the Viking lass but kept things where they needed to be. In a genuine part of his past. “I thought myself in love with her. So on the eve of my seventeenth birthday, I asked her to marry me.”
“Really?” She eyed him with interest. “That sounds serious.”
“Everything seemed so serious back then, including the lasses,” he said. “She was the first one I kissed, and I wanted to do right by her.”
Jackie bit her lower lip and met his eyes. “Really?”
“Aye.” He nodded, realizing too late that he was walking into something that he couldn’t turn back from. “I was raised that a kiss was important and that a lad didnae give one unless he felt strongly. Da always said a kiss was not to be taken lightly.” His last words trailed off on a murmur. “That it could change your life.”
A heavy silence lingered between them until Jackie spoke. “And what did she say when you asked her to marry you?”
“Aye,” Darach whispered. “She said yes.”
Their eyes held. “Yet you’re not married.”
“Yet I’m not married,” he confirmed. Though tempted to look away he didn’t.
“And why is that?”
If she only knew. But to tell her would reveal the depth of his feelings and risk her friendship. Because if she realized how strongly he felt and for how long, she would push him away.
Passion of a Scottish Warrior (The MacLomain Series: Later Years Book 4) Page 9
