by David Barron
was happening to him, his heart was racing and he hadn't really done anything very strenuous that day. He wasn't sure what it could be, but whatever it was he seemed to like it very much indeed.
That night he got ready about six and when he had bathed and put on his very best crust, he got a bottle of rollka from his drinks cabinet and popped into the garden and snipped some flowers, and he had the very person in mind to give them too as well. With lightness in his step, he made his way to Sheff's door and knocked. The door was answered by Stain Less and she was immaculate in a lovely silver number with her hair all done up in an ivory comb. Rolly was in love, and thought that if she didn't like him his poor heart would surely break, he was so taken with her. She was very attentive to him the whole evening and it seemed as they talked they had a very great deal in common, both had been married before, but Steels husband had been crushed in an accident at the bakery. Rolly only took his eyes off her once the whole night and that was to greet her mother, who like her daughter was all in silver but with a slight tarnish round the edges of her dress, well she was a lot older than her daughter. They sat to quite late chatting and laughing with Rolly asking if she would like to accompany him to see a film at the local Rollema, as there was a new film on and he was sure she would love it. She agreed and they made it a date for the following night, with Rolly saying he would call round for her at seven.
Next day Rolly was all of a fluster, he was so looking forward to his night out with the new knife in his life. He had washed his crust more than once and had practically drowned himself in afterroll, and had even shaved himself so close it was a wonder he wasn't bleeding. He had on his finest shirt and tie with the roll motif, and his new crust suit which he hadn't worn for the longest time. Deciding he was ready he headed out and walked up to Sheff's door, and knocked. Steel answered and asked him to wait a moment she was just grabbing her new designer roll bag. So all set, they went off to catch the van into town to the local rollema to watch the latest film starring Hard Fired. Rolly bought two tickets and they were shown to their seats by the rollurette who shone her torch on two trays near the back row. Rolly wondered if she could tell that they were just a little bit in love. Rolly sat down and asked steel if she'd like something to eat or drink before the film started, but she said that she had eaten just before she left home, and that she was not yet thirsty. Rolly put his arm round her and together they sat happy just to be in each others company. At the end of the film he escorted her home and for the first time he got to kiss her at the door to her house. Rolly went home so very happy, he didn't see the lamppost right in front of him and walked right into it, bashing his head, but he didn't seem to care. Rolly was truly and deeply in love and was determined that he would marry this fair creature before anyone else spotted her. Next morning he was up and dressed and called round to Sheff''s house and asked him very politely if he could speak to Steel. Sheff invited him in but Rolly said he'd rather stay at the door as he had something of a private nature to talk to his daughter about. Sheff said he understood and walked away with a slight knowing smile on his face. He walked into his kitchen where his wife was washing dishes and closed the door behind him.
"Rolly's come around again and has insisted on seeing our daughter."
"He looks very serious like a roll on a mission."
"Oh what do you think it is then?" said Sheff's wife Cutlery
"Oh if I had to bet I'd say he wants to ask her to marry him." Just then there was an excited scream from the front door, where of course Rolly had just popped the question, and having accepted he had taken her by the hand and hauled her off to town to get a ring. In town Rolly bought her the most magnificent napkin ring in the jeweller's window. Steel was very, very happy and smothered Rolly in kisses, and his face was so red, he felt like he had felt that morning when he had been ladled out of the oven. They laughed and hugged each other all the way home with Steel eager to tell her mother and father the good news. Back at Steels home her father Sheff opened the door with Cutlery standing in the hallway waiting to give Steel a big hug. You could tell that they had already guessed, and Cutlery said that she was very happy for them both, whilst the tears ran down her silvery finish. After dinner Rolly had been invited to stay, so they all sat down and tried to work out between them, exactly when would be a good time to have a wedding, with Rolly wishing to have it on St Rollo's day, and Steel saying she'd very much like to have it on St Knifes day. Of course Steel won out in the end, and Sheff and Cutlery said that they would like to help out in anyway with the wedding plans. Rolly was just overtaken with it all and agreed to everything, but he did insist that he had some of his closest friends there, and so it was agreed the wedding would take place on St Knifes day.
For the next few weeks Rolly and Steel were very busy with their wedding plans, with Rolly visiting all of his good friends, and giving them all a personal invitation, and Steel trying on wedding dresses and shoes. Soon it was the morning of the big day, and Rolly was feeling a little the worse for wear, after his stag night at the Bakers Arms with Floury and Bertie. His best friend Floury was his best roll, and he had stayed the night at Rollys to make sure he got up, but he needn't have worried Rolly had only had a couple of hours sleep, and was terrified he would make a mistake or even ruin Steels big day. He was trying to get his new crust on, and Floury was just as bad trying to put his tie on, they were both like something out of a lauroll and hardroll film. After ten in the morning the car that was to take them to the church turned up, and they both clambered in nearly sitting on top of one another. They looked at each other and laughed, it was then that Rolly finally calmed down, and started to feel a whole lot better about the day. Finally they were there outside the village church, and there was quite a crowd waiting to see them. Rolly stepped out of the car with Floury, and asked Mrs Bun if Steel had turned up yet, and she told him she hadn't so they all went inside to wait for her. Rolly stood at the altar his legs not shaking as bad as they had been earlier on, and from time to time took a peek over his crust top. At that moment the church was very quiet and the atmosphere inside was electric, everyone was tense waiting for the grand entrance of the bride, then the fanfare started and Rolly knew his bride was coming into the church. He turned to take a look, and gasped she was so shiny and her father was walking down beside her looking very proud with his blade gleaming, and taking his daughters arm led her straight to Rolly's side. Then the minister of rolls looked at them both.
"We are gathered here today in the sight of The Great Baker to join together this roll and this knife in holy margarine."
"I call upon those here present to witness the joining of Steel to Rolly."
"Steel," " Do you take this roll to be your lawful wedded husband, to live together in a state of holy margarine, and forsaking all other rolls keep you only unto him."
"I do," said Steel.
"Do you Rolly take this knife to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together in a state of holy margarine, and forsaking all other knifes keep you only unto her."
"I do," said Rolly.
"Then with the power vested in me by the Bakery, I now pronounce you roll and knife what The Great Baker has joined together, let no roll break asunder."
"You may kiss the bride."
The congregation cheered as the happy couple made there way out to the car which was waiting to take them to the station, where they were to catch a train to start there honeymoon. Rolly and Steel waved to everyone from the car windows and Rolly looked at his friend who he was sure was crying. He shouted, "Don't worry Floury I'll be back soon, keep a place for me at the match." Then they were off, having picked a week in Flouringham for their honeymoon. She had made an honest roll of him at last.
The End
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