by K J Bell
Interrupting them, I made a misguided attempt to defend myself. “No Reese, you are supposed to be here. I can feel it. I do need you here. I can’t see clearly why and I can’t explain it. I only know this will take the three of us and I want you to stay. Please,” I urged him, taking his hand in mine.
Reese pulled his hand away. Guilt clawed at me, as he hung his head.
“Claire, do you even know what you’re asking me and how hard this is? Everything I have ever thought, it’s all wrong,” he said, his grey eyes looking dull and tired.
“I know Reese, and I’m sorry, I really am, but stay, please?” I pleaded with him because I didn’t want him to leave. I knew it wasn’t because I was in love with him, but for reasons we would figure out together.
The lines around his eyes relaxed.
“Fine, I’ll stay because I need answers too. I want to have a normal life for once. The sooner we figure this out, the sooner that can happen,” he spelled out, asserting his feelings.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said excitedly, throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him in a brotherly manner.
Pulling my arms from his neck, he spoke straight-faced.
“Um, let’s not, okay?” His obvious discomfort made me sad. I hoped that we would be able to get past the awkwardness soon and be friends.
Reese smiled slyly at me. “Hey, I brought you something, a birthday present,” he announced, leaping to his feet and leaving the room.
What could he have possibly gotten me for a birthday present? Reese hardly knew me. I looked at Brent, who shrugged.
Brent helped me up and hugged me like he never wanted to let go and I didn’t want him to.
When Reese came back in the room, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Oh my God, Reese, thank you so much. I can’t believe you did this for me,” I squealed, running to him and grabbing the guitar case from his hands. “How did you know?”
He boasted with boyish charm. “I heard you talking to Layken at lunch about how much you liked to play and I figured you’d be missing it,” he said sweetly, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.
He was right. I missed playing. It was something I often did as a coping mechanism. Not having it here the last couple of days had been hard for me.
Accepting responsibility for the choice I made, I felt a nudge of doubt, thinking how much thought he put into bringing this to me. He obviously wanted to make a good impression when he got here, going out of his way to remember my birthday and do something special for it. Had I made a mistake? Was my vision truthful or just a tool to mislead me? Focusing on how I felt in my heart, I shook off the doubt, confident Brent was the right choice. Reese was sweet, but I could never think of him as anything more than a friend – or a brother I never had.
“Thank you,” I shrieked, wanting to hug him again, appreciating his thoughtfulness but held back as he requested. I didn’t want to upset him any further.
Reese’s jaw clamped tightly as he turned to Brent.
“If you mess this up or you hurt her, there is no place you can hide that I won’t find you,” Reese warned. His voice was thick with anger and I didn’t doubt his threat.
Anticipating a fight, I moved in close, positioning between the two of them. Brent simply extended his hand to Reese conceding.
“I won’t,” Brent said, shaking Reese’s hand.
Reese returned Brent’s handshake, staring at him unnervingly. Neither of them wanted to be the first to release their hand.
“Okay, so what now?” I coaxed, trying to put an end to their pissing contest. “Do we go start chasing Kace now?”
“Patience, Claire,” they chimed in unison. This caused them both to start laughing, which finally broke the handshake.
“Jinx,” they howled, again at the same time, then a “double Jinx” from Reese as he smiled proudly, getting one up on Brent. For the first time, they sounded their age. The display of two young men interacting accordingly made me smile.
“I’m glad the two of you think I am so funny,” I scoffed, only half joking.
“You’re not ready yet, Claire,” Brent responded. “You don’t have your full abilities and we still need to figure out how everything has changed.”
That had me scratching my head. Is that not what we were supposed to do?
“So…we just wait for now? I thought we were Chasers? Doesn’t that mean we are supposed to chase?” I asked, thinking that waiting seemed like a waste of time.
Reese laid out the reason. “Yes, we are Chasers, but the worst thing we can do, is go up against Kace when we aren’t prepared.”
‘Okay, so what then?’ I asked, searching for an answer from either of them.
They both considered briefly what do.
“We need to talk to an Agent,” Reese proposed.
“No, no way, it’s too dangerous. We can’t go back there,” Brent objected, positioning himself as the one who would decide.
Reese defended his idea. “Brent, you know it’s the only way. We need answers,” he persuaded. Brent refused, shaking his head adamantly.
“Are you saying there’s an Agent at my aunt’s house?” I was still trying to figure out what they were talking about.
“No, not at your house, exactly,” Brent offered.
“Is there a way into The Realm at my house then? Is that where we’re going?” I asked, still baffled.
Brent laughed. “No Claire, there is only one way into The Realm and since we all still have heart beats, we won’t be journeying there today or any day soon if I can help it.”
“The Agents have always come through your aunt’s house,” Reese clarified. “We need to go there and figure out how to get one to pay us a visit.”
I glanced at both of them totally bewildered. “Can’t we just ask Maggie?”
They both looked back at me dumfounded that they hadn’t thought of the idea.
“Right, I’ll get my cell,” Brent volunteered retrieving his cell phone from the counter and handing it to me.
I dialed Maggie’s phone number, put the phone to my ear, and waited patiently as the phone rang. Both boys stared at me with anticipation. After a few rings, I whispered, “voicemail” with my hand over the receiver. After the beep, I removed my hand and started my message. “Hey Maggie, it’s me, Claire. I’m fine. I know you were probably worried. Can you call me back on Brent’s phone when you get this message? We need to ask you about something really important. Ok, thanks. Bye….oh, I love you. Talk to you soon, k…Bye”.
Clutching the phone to my chest, I tried not to let my thoughts get away from me.
“I don’t like this. Maggie would be worried about me. She’d answer her phone on the first ring. Something’s wrong,” I said, worry weighing me down, making my body feel heavy.
Brent took the phone from the death grip I had on it and set it on the counter. “I’m sure everything is fine, Claire. She’s probably in the shower or out taking a walk.”
“Yeah, she’s fine, Claire,” Reese agreed. “I took her to my parent’s lake house in Vermont. Why don’t we just drive there since it’s on the way back to Mass? You’ll see she’s safe and we can ask her how to talk with an Agent. Then we can get down to whooping this Kace character’s ass.”
Reese made me laugh and it felt great. I was letting my imagination make assumptions for me. Maggie was fine. The guys were right. If I knew Maggie, she was probably sitting by the lake with an ice tea and a good book, having absentmindedly left her phone inside.
“You’re right. I’m sure she’s fine,” I said, convincing myself.
“Great, it’s settled. Road trip, guys! Come on, you know you want to,” Reese encouraged, like a college kid wanting to go to the beach for spring break. “Pretty please?” he begged.
I looked to Brent asking his silent permission. He obviously wasn’t happy about the idea, but he nodded in silent agreement as he approached me. “I don’t like this but I know if we don’t go, you’ll be worried ab
out Maggie all day. Just promise me that you’ll stay close to me, never out of sight. Okay, Claire?”
“Promise,” I sighed, fear still gripping my heart, enabling me to take a deep breath. If anything happened to Maggie, I didn’t know what I would do. She was the only family I had.
“Awesome,” Reese yowled. “This is going to be epic. Can we take the Audi? That is a sick car,” Reese asked giddy with excitement.
For the first time, I saw the biggest difference between the two of them. Reese was not mature. He was still an impulsive teenager that hadn’t learned self-control yet, unable to filter his thoughts. Brent was poised and thought about his words before he spoke. To put it simply, Reese was a boy and Brent was a man. I liked that about Brent. I really liked it.
My father’s words came to me, “an old soul”. Was that how Brent and I ended up here? Were we two old souls drawn together so strongly that it couldn’t be denied, forcing a change to our design. I looked forward to finding out.
“Heelllooooo, there!” Reese’s goof ball tone pierced my mental rambling. “Can we take the Audi or what, Claire? Oh, can I drive?”
“No freakin’ way Reese. I’m driving.” Brent answered for me and I laughed at poor Reese. He tried.
“Shotgun then,” he said, looking at me wolfishly and I chuckled. “I got shot shotgun, right, Claire?” Reese persisted, his boyish smile made me fall in love with him. Not the kind of love I felt for Brent but love none-the-less. Reese was too cute to resist. He kept wagging his eyebrows and nodding, trying to sway me to his side.
I was just about to give in when Brent spoke.
“Wrong again, Reese, my girl gets shotgun.” I smiled like I just hit the lottery. I thought I had. He called me his girl.
Reese’s smile was gone, replaced with a woeful frown. He hung his head mumbling. “Can’t blame me for trying.” His disappointment saddened me because I knew it wasn’t due to the fact he would be in the back seat. It was because I wasn’t his girl. And Brent had spoken it so officially.
CHAPTER 10
“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for whom we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our own paradise…” – Richard Bach
The three of us piled into the Audi, and Brent programed the address for Reese’s lake house into the GPS. As we pulled away I knew I was going to miss this place. With the uncertainty of our plans, I didn’t know when we would return but I hoped it would be soon. Brent plugged his iPod into the sound system. “Give me Love” filled the speakers.
“Ed Sheeran, I love him,” I confessed, dragging out the word love for several seconds.
“Hmm, I think I might be a little jealous,” Brent teased and continued singing along to the music. “Give me love like never before.”
How did they ever think they could keep us apart?
“Oh, come on man,” Reese snorted from the backseat. “Don’t you have anything a little more upbeat?”
“Sorry, but the lady likes this,” Brent cited.
Poor Reese. I felt bad for him. I laughed thinking his road trip just went from fun to glum. What he thought would be like a bunch of friends traveling the road heading to the beach for spring break, had quickly turned into something boring. It was much more like a cross country drive with his parents, to visit his grandma. Sulking in the back seat, he gave up. Pulling his own iPod from his pocket, he plugged ear buds into it and placed them in his ears.
“Fine! I’ll just be back here listening to cool music by myself,” he drawled.
Brent and I both laughed. He gently grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in mine. He hadn’t shaved today and his face was splintered with dark whiskers. If it even possible, he looked more handsome now than ever.
His voice broke through my utopia. “See something you like, Blake?”
Busted again, he always caught me. I was sure my face was a varying blend of red, one of the many shades that had stained my cheeks over the last few days.
“Most definitely,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze.
Nature was showing off the first hint of autumn. Orange and red peeked out from the stark green canvas as we made our way over the country New England roads. Driving here was so different than I remember in California. Lacking in direct routes, it was all country roads in the backwoods. The robotic woman’s voice shouted directions at us from the GPS every so often. It made the two of us chuckle when she said the names phonetically, based on spelling, but not how those of us in Massachusetts had grown used to hearing them. I laughed quietly, wondering if there was a setting on the GPS with a Boston accent.
We must have bored Reese to death because he was now slumped against the seat in back snoring, with his ear buds still solidly in place. Brent turned down the radio and we began a quiet conversation.
We talked about school a little. I teased him about Layken’s crush on him but he was unaffected – he already knew. I marveled at that. He could have a girl like Layken and he chose me. He told me I was the only one for him and brushed his thumb over my knuckles, smiling when I blushed. He didn’t know that Brooke had a thing for Reese but said Reese had told him awhile back she was always flirting with him.
Secretly, I was thrilled with that knowledge because, maybe that meant Reese could find someone to move on with. I knew this was hard for him; a loss of sorts. It made me miserable to think about it, so I shifted in my seat and changed the subject, asking Brent about how he was able to stay so close to me over the years. Brent explained his family had stayed in Massachusetts because he had siblings. His grandpa took on the challenge of keeping him close to me. His family told his brothers and sisters that he was in fact at boarding school, following our family every time we relocated somewhere.
We exchanged funny stories about other kids we had both known. Brent had also avoided getting too close to anyone. As often as we moved, he didn’t want to have any attachments, which I related to. I wondered which was worse, growing up without knowing anything, thinking your parents just might be crazy, or knowing everything and not having a choice. For the first time, I really thought about this. Did the two of them resent me? Anxiety was waging a battle in my head again. I rolled down the window needing some fresh air.
“Are you okay, Claire?” Brent asked, stroking my knee.
“You must have been angry at some point, right? When you were forced to leave your family?” I asked.
He removed his hand from my knee and gripped the steering wheel tightly, but didn’t answer me.
Oh, my God. I felt sick. This man that I cared so deeply for had surely hated me at some point in his life, being told that he would leave his family, or worse, die if it protected me in some way. It was so unfair. How could he not have? I would have. Tears overflowed from my eyes and I was helpless to stop them. Brent turned the wheel sharply and pulled to the side of the road. He started to speak and I was taken aback. He sounded angry.
“Stop it Claire, stop it right now,” he scorned.
His harsh tone made it so much worse and the tears flowed faster. I furiously tried to wipe them from my cheeks, but they just kept coming.
“Oh Jesus, Claire. Look, I’m sorry,” he pleaded and I heard a groan deep in his throat that vibrated through my chest. He fisted his hands into his hair before turning to face me. He pulled my face to his, holding it there, his warm breath lingering on my skin. “Claire, I love you. Please don’t cry.”
He said he loved you.
The word should have thrilled me but I was terrified. Was I capable of loving someone like that? I suddenly felt conflicted. I wanted this, yet, now that it was real, it was completely freaking me out. I would leave him eventually because that’s what I did. It was all I ever knew, not to get close to anyone
so I could leave with my heart intact. I took a few deep calming breaths to rein in my tears.
“Good girl,” Brent praised, brushing his hands down the side of my head, pressing firmly along my jaw. He stared deep into my eyes. “Was there a time when I wanted to hate you and I was angry? Yes, there was…but I couldn’t do it. I spent too much time with you, watching you purse that silly lip or twirl your hair. Witnessing your kindness, even when it came to someone being mean to you, it never mattered. You were still kind.”
He noted my hesitation as I shook my head trying to release his grasp. “You remember that girl, Melanie, about two years ago, the one who tripped you, among other things?”
I nodded yes and he released my head.
She had been a grade ahead of me and looked like a giant standing next to me. Every day had been a struggle to avoid her, hiding around corners or behind a tree until she passed. She didn’t like me, making it a point to tell me whenever she could. She would trip me or pull my hair and then just walk away laughing. Once, she even blocked me from getting into the restroom for the entire break and I ended up being late for class. Even as horrible as she had been to me, I always felt bad for her. She had been dirty and often worn the same clothes for days. I remembered thinking she must of had a terrible home life if bullying me, at half her size, made her feel better. I couldn’t bring myself to turn her in. I was afraid that whatever awaited her at home would be worse than what she had been dishing out.
“I saw you,” Brent informed. “Melanie would come to school without lunch. You would wait until the hall cleared and slip your lunch money in her locker, including a note that said eat, and then you would sit in the cafeteria eating an apple or whatever small thing your mother packed you for a snack.”
I looked down at my lap and tugged at the zipper on my sweatshirt, sliding it up and down, nervously, remembering her so well.
