by K J Bell
I was in shock and the pain in my jaw was like nothing I had ever felt. Logan was in a frenzy, frantic with worry.
“Jesus, Brent, what did you do to her?” Logan yelled.
Brent sat on the floor looking horrified. I wanted to run over and throw my arms around him like I did in my dreams when he had come for me, but I was cemented to the floor. Reese stood by the door looking just as terrified, and none of us spoke.
Brent stood up and looked away as Logan and I sat clutching each other. Brent and Reese walked out through the doorway into the hall. I wanted to chase after him, explain everything and hold him. Still in shock, I didn’t go.
“Wait,” I finally yelled. But they were gone.
I collapsed into Logan, crying hysterically. “What have I done?”
“You didn’t do anything, Claire. This is my fault. Let me go talk to him,” Logan offered, standing up to go. I pulled him back down telling him that it wasn’t a good idea.
I heard footsteps coming back through the doorway and could tell by the shadow it was Brent. He stood in the doorway watching us before he spoke.
“I’ll be in the car when you’re ready,” he said, frowning. It hurt me to see him so confused.
Logan stood and stalked towards Brent. I tried to grab Logan’s hand but missed.
“She’ll be right out. I know how this looks, but you don’t understand what happened here, Brent,” Logan argued for me.
“I don’t understand, Logan?” Brent’s voice boomed, exploding with rage. “I don’t understand what? The fact you tried to kill her while she slept or the fact you kidnapped her, and I have been going out of my fucking mind trying to find her? Or how about you choked every last breath from her aunt and she saw the whole thing, and when I finally find her, you have your fucking mouth on her. Tell me Logan, so I can understand.”
It felt like every brick in the room was crashing down around us. Logan turned to me, his mouth in a thin line, the beautiful amber glow gone from his eyes, replaced by the dark stare I hoped to never see again.
“What’s he talking about, Claire?” Logan questioned.
I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I needed to be alone with Logan to explain.
“Brent, can you wait for me in the car, please?” I asked, finally rising to my feet.
He narrowed his eyes at me, showing disapproval. “No, I’m not leaving this room, Claire.”
“Answer me, goddammit, Claire,” Logan interrupted.
“Don’t you fucking talk to her like that,” Brent warned, pointing a finger at Logan.
Logan taunted him, “Or what, you’re going to pummel me again? Go ahead Brent.”
“Don’t tempt me, Logan,” Brent warned again.
“Enough! Enough!” I shouted making my way to Brent. I wrapped my arms around his waist resting my cheek on his chest. I felt a surge of energy with his touch. My body had ached for so long I had acclimated to feeling weak. The sensation from his touch was exhilarating and his expression showed he was healing too.
“I just need a minute,” I pleaded breathlessly, tightening my grip. I really didn’t want to let go.
Brent reached behind his back, grabbing my hands. He pulled my hands forward and placed them on his lips, kissing them softly.
“A minute,” he conceded and went back out through the door.
Logan’s expression was so guarded that it pained me to look at him. “Is it true, Claire? Did I kill your aunt?”
The look on his face was precisely the reason I didn’t tell him the truth about Maggie earlier, when he asked what happened while he was adhered too. I didn’t want him to have another reason to hate himself. But it was out there now, and I had to be honest with him. Tears fell from my eyes, one after the other, as I reached for Logan’s hand and clutched it to my chest.
“Yes, but it doesn’t change anything,” I argued.
He pulled his hands from my grip. “I murdered someone. It changes everything, Claire.”
He was pacing the floor frantically.
“Logan, please don’t. I forgive you. I know you could never have done any of this without the Adherent. Please don’t blame yourself. You’re breaking my heart.”
“How can you even look at me?” Logan asked, stopping in front of me.
“That’s easy, Logan. I see what’s in here,” I said, placing my palm over his heart. “And it’s good and pure.”
He smiled slightly and kissed my forehead.
“They made the right choice,” he whispered.
I didn’t understand what he meant. “Who?” I asked.
He pointed up with his index finger. “Them,” he said. “The Agents. You really are an incredible gift, Claire.”
His eyes were bright again. I knew he was going to live with his guilt for a lifetime but I was confident he would be fine. All of this had happened for a reason, just as I decided everything does. Logan had to face his demons in order to defeat them and I was grateful I had the strength it took to help him.
I took his hand and as I did a vision came to me causing my heart to glow. It was Logan, a little older, pushing a small boy on a swing set. The child was yelling, “Faster, Daddy, faster.” Logan was smiling proudly as he continued pushing the swing.
A tall blonde woman appeared beside him, looking very pregnant. Her face wasn’t visible. She placed her arm around his waist. “It’s time for lunch, you two,” she said endearingly.
“Five more minutes, please, mommy?” The boy screamed as Logan brought the swing to rest.
“Come on, buddy. Your mom makes the best grilled cheese and I’m starving,” Logan instructed, pulling the boy over his head and mounting him on his shoulders. The boy giggled and clutched Logan’s head. Logan kissed the woman on the lips softly and told her how much he loved her. The family walked toward the house.
The vision stopped and I noticed Logan’s jaw was practically lying on the floor. I exhaled the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding and squeezed his hand.
“What was that?” he inquired.
“That was your future, Logan,” I told him. “See, everything will work out for you.”
A colossal smile overtook his face. This was a look I had yet to see from Logan. He looked happy, and I loved how I was responsible for that.
“I’ll never forget that vision, Claire. I will hold on to that moment forever. Whenever things get tough and I want that drink, or feel sorry for myself, I’ll remember it. Thank you.” Logan hugged me tightly, lifting me off my feet.
“You don’t need to thank me, Logan. You taught me something as well.” He looked puzzled. “You taught me that a broken spirit could be put back together and shine as bright as it ever had.”
Logan smiled again and helped me gather my things. He carried my bag for me and we walked together out of the loft. There was more construction equipment in the halls. Drop cloths covered the floors. Most of the wood walls had been freshly sanded. Logan and I headed towards a staircase.
“Sorry, the elevator is broken,” Logan said as we made our way down the five flights of stairs.
CHAPTER 17
“A soul mate is one with whom you have a graceful affinity and while allures, too profound to value as anything more than chance. They may reappear from time to time as a delusion when indeed they are reality.” – Kandra J Gardner
We descended the final flight of stairs, entering a sizeable open area I assumed was the lobby. I stopped to admire the work that had been put into it. The renovations in the entrance had obviously been completed. The walls were warm, freshly polished wood. Marble floors shined making the entire room glisten.
“Wow, Logan, this is beautiful. Your uncle has done an amazing job,” I touted, admiring all of the details, such as the sconce lighting and the wood moldings.
“Thanks,” Logan said. “My uncle dreamed of restoring this place as long as I can remember. He finally started last fall. He still has a long way to go.”
“Well, it’s amazing,”
I chimed in. “Taking something so run down and bringing it back to life is a real gift.”
Logan smiled broadly. “That makes two people I know that have that gift then,” Logan complimented shyly, looking at the floor. He could be so sweet.
“I just gave you a little nudge, Logan. You did the hard part,” I reminded.
“Thanks again, Claire, for everything. I mean it. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Logan said, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me close to him.
“You’re welcome.”
Logan walked me as far as the front door, when I stopped, telling him I thought it was best for me to go alone. He kissed me on the forehead and handed my bag to me. I felt really good until I looked outside and saw the expression on Brent’s face.
I went out through the glass doors and walked towards Brent. He was upset, really upset. My heart sank as I got closer. I lunged toward him, wanting to wrap my arms around him, craving him to do the same.
He put a hand out in front of him and shouted, “Don’t!”
His voice was cold, putting a solid layer of ice between us that stopped me in my tracks. He took the bag from my hand. “Get in the car, Claire,” he ordered without looking at me.
“Brent, we need to talk about this,” I pleaded, rolling the bottom of my sweatshirt nervously between my fingers.
“Get in the goddam car, now. I mean it, don’t fight me on this.” His voice was seething, the anger rolling off of him in waves.
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head in disbelief. I spun on my toes and stomped purposefully to the passenger door of the black Explorer Brent was driving. After getting in I slammed the door shut. Why does he have to talk to me that way?
He opened the back gate and put my bag inside. I jumped when he slammed the gate closed. Starting to cry, I watched Brent slide into the driver’s seat and grip the steering wheel so tightly I thought he might jar it loose. His jaw was tightly clenched and his lips were flat. He stared straight ahead. Despite my annoyance with him, I felt awful about what he had seen.
Reese was in the backseat listening to his iPod. He wouldn’t look at me either. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I know you’re mad,” I started. “But…”
Brent didn’t let me finish. “Mad doesn’t begin to describe what I feel right now, Claire.
I blinked rapidly at his harsh response and wiped away tears. “Tell me, then.”
He refused to look at me and it was making me insane.
“Rage. That’s a more fitting word,” he huffed bitterly, starting to turn the key, but stopping. “I have been out of my mind, Claire. I thought I might not make it in time… that you might be…” He trailed off unable to finish his sentence, but I knew what he was going to say. Dead. He thought Logan might have killed me.
“I’m fine, Brent,” I tried to reassure him.
He spoke through gritted teeth, still not looking at me. “Yes, I could see that when I showed up, and you were sucking face with that prick.”
“It wasn’t what you thought,” I argued, reaching for his hand which he pulled away.
“It sure as hell looked like you were enjoying it, Claire,” he spat, pounding his fist into the center console. I shook my head in rapid denial, wracked with guilt because I did enjoy it. But it was different.
He finally looked at me, his eyes burning indignation.
“Do you want to be with him?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“God, no!” I exclaimed. “I love you, Brent.”
His head fell back and I leaned over the console, getting closer to him. I saw disbelief on his face.
“How can you doubt that?” I asked.
“I saw it all, Claire. He had his hands on you and his tongue in your mouth.”
I put myself in Brent’s shoes and imagined him kissing someone else. It left a foul taste in my mouth. He straightened up and leaned into me, placing his fingers on my lips, and then sagged back into his seat. He didn’t have to say it. I knew what he was thinking. That someone else had shared my lips in a way that should only be for him.
“Claire, my heart splintered in half when I saw the two of you kissing, and then I noticed your face and I saw black. I wanted to kill him.”
I knew Brent was replaying the scene in his mind and it was eating away at him. Needing some way to make him understand, I crawled over the console onto his lap, ignoring the fact Reese was in the back seat.
I leaned into him, amazed by how good it felt to have him heal me. My body was bruised and weak after the ordeal I had just been through. Brent’s touch took it all away, instantly. The energy from him healed me completely and I was grateful. It would take me days to recover without him.
Brent’s body stiffened. “What are you doing, Claire?” he asked sharply.
“Shhh,” I whispered, placing my forehead on his while I focused my thoughts on everything that happened since I left Reese’s house. The events played out between us. The phone call. Why I went to see Logan. The assault, which caused Brent to shake beneath me. We saw Logan’s painful confession and we heard my father’s words. When Logan slid his hand under my shorts, placing them between my legs, it was too much for Brent to take. He made an effort to force me away, but I gripped his face and held it tight, letting the scene play out until the very end when he and Reese came through the door. I saw the understanding and pride on his face.
He cupped the back of my head and brought his mouth to mine. The warmth of his breath and his scent was exhilarating. I had missed him so much. He caressed my bottom lip with his tongue, teasing me. If he didn’t kiss me soon I was going to burst. He swept his tongue across my top lip before engulfing me in his mouth. The kiss was greedy and aggressive and I returned it in the same way – relentless and gasping for breath. He was claiming me with his mouth and I let him.
“Oh God, get a room,” Reese chuckled from the back seat, but we ignored him and continued to relish each other’s mouths.
Brent pulled back, grasping my hair in his hands, and held my gaze. “You are one amazing woman, you know that? What you did for Logan took a great deal of courage. I love you so much!”
I smiled, his compliment causing my cheeks to flush. “I missed you so much!”
“Did I miss something, because a half hour ago she was playing kissy face with Logan and you were really pissed?” Reese asked, teasing the two of us.
Without pulling my gaze from Brent, I answered. “It was all just a misunderstanding, Reese.”
I peeked over the seat at Reese and winked at him. He rolled his eyes.
“Whatever!” he drawled, making me laugh.
“Um, Blake?” Brent spoke in a raspy voice that made me wish we were somewhere private. “As much as I would love to stay here and kiss your beautiful face all day, we need to go.” He nudged me back to the passenger seat.
I climbed back over the console, settling into the passenger seat, still wild with excitement from that one word, Blake.
“I’m Blake again, huh” I questioned, smiling at him.
His eyes pulled sideways when he realized he was caught. “What do you mean? You’ve always been Blake?”
I swallowed my smile. “Nice try. When you’re upset or serious, I’m Claire, not Blake.”
He looked back over at me and laughed teasingly.
“Oh, you noticed that, huh?” he said putting his hand on my knee and squeezing.
“As a matter of fact, I did, Cassidy,” I said, raising an eyebrow at him. “I also noticed that you use the F-word frequently too. You know, only someone with an inept vocabulary uses that word so often,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at him. I always wanted to use my father’s words on someone.
“Is that so,” he said, both eyebrows raised.
“Yes, it is,” I responded proudly.
“Hmm, did you ever think that your stubborn independence makes me crazy? That maybe you get so far under my skin that I lose my fuc….” He caught himself. “Ever loving mi
nd?”
He grinned triumphantly.
I laughed. “No, I had not, but was that so hard? I like that choice of words so much better.”
“I like you.” Brent replied, strumming his fingers delicately across my knee, desire burning in his eyes.
“I like you more,” I vowed, smiling.
“Oh barf,” Reese choked out from the back, making us all break out in laughter and it felt so good.
CHAPTER 18
“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” – G.K. Chesterton
When I disappeared with Logan, Brent had borrowed his dad’s Explorer. His sister said she would pick up my Audi from the mill today and return it to the garage at my aunt’s house. I was hoping it would still be in one piece.
The drive was pretty quiet. It was midafternoon but the sun was hidden behind the clouds making it feel like it was later in the day. I used the time to reflect on how much had happened in one short week. The last seven days felt more like seven years. I was proud of what I accomplished with Logan, and looked forward to watching him turn his life around.
I pondered what would happen when I eventually encountered Kace. I knew it was inevitable considering it was my design. I felt so much hatred towards him and reminded myself to store it. I learned from my experience with Logan how quickly hatred could take over your life if you let it consume you.
I wanted to bombard the boys with questions about what happened when I left Reese’s house, and how they figured out where I was, but I didn’t. Knowing that fear and uncertainty lay ahead, I was just happy to be back with the two of them.
The three of us drove for about an hour in silence until we found a hotel. Brent checked in while Reese and I plopped down on the couches in the hotel lobby to wait for him. When Brent finished with the clerk, he motioned to me and Reese. I told them I was starving and they agreed to take me to the hotel restaurant for food.
The waitress was our age and I noticed she kept flirting with Reese, who paid no attention to her at all. I half hoped it was because of Brooke – that maybe he had feelings for her. I knew he lived his entire life with the idea that things were going to be so different than they had turned out.
