Stark was seated so that he directly faced Kira. When his turn came around, Sergeant Colin asked how he liked his pancakes. Stark looked up and his eyes locked with Kira’s. She could feel her temperature rising. He smiled and said, “I like mine sweet and dirty, all covered in powder,” and with a swift move, he took the syrup and the canister of powdered sugar. He clinked them together with such force that a small cloud of powdered sugar billowed over his pancakes and onto the table. The team erupted in a cheer.
“Sounds like one hot mess,” Colin laughed.
“My favorite kind,” Stark said, and almost no one noticed as he nonchalantly licked his lips before taking a bite. No one but Kira, who instantly grew wet, wishing those lips were on her.
The cheer from the men was finally enough to register Holt’s attention. He turned around to see the team of laughing men enjoying their very late breakfast. He turned around in obvious disapproval. “This is why I like to eat off base, Kira.,” he said. He didn’t seem to recognize Stark. If he did, he was hiding it well. Perhaps the recognition that this was a Special Forces team prevented him from making further comment.
Kira worked diligently on her California salad. She loved the taste of cranberries and blue cheese. Holt had gone back to talking and Stark seemed to be absorbed in the conversation of his crew. Watching him interact with his brothers was enlightening. She saw that he was truly in his element. They were his team, his family, his life.
She could feel him watching her. Slowly Kira looked up from her salad. As she looked up their eyes met and a wicked smile passed across his lips. The hunger in his eyes was not for pancakes. Kira felt her cheeks growing warm. She lay down her fork and placed her napkin delicately on the table. “Liam, I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back, OK?” she interjected into his self-praising monologue.
“Hurry back, we need to be back in clinic in thirty,” he said matterof-factly. Holt sat, watching her walk away. Even in her uniform this new officer was very appealing. He sat back, very self-satisfied that he had found a suitable girlfriend. He thought, She may just have potential as a wife. That is, if her family background is OK. He made a mental note to find out more about her family.
Kira made her way down the dark hallway to the bathroom. She had almost reached the door when a firm hand grabbed her arm. He spun her around and she was standing face-to-face with Sergeant Owen Stark. He was standing so close, his body pinning hers against the wall, his lips only inches away. “Hey there, beautiful,” he murmured, almost whispering into her mouth. His lips grazed hers as he spoke. So warm! She felt herself quickly melting into him. Any thoughts of self-preservation were futile with him so close. Kira closed her eyes and breathed him in.
“What are you doing with Dipshit?” Stark’s voice was calm and self-possessed.
“Having lunch. What are you doing here?” Kira asked, slightly annoyed, though it was incredibly hard to stay annoyed with Stark so close she could taste him.
“Improvising.” He smiled but offered no other explanation. The wicked expression said everything. He gently trailed his free hand down the side of her face and across her lips. Kira kissed the tip of his finger as he paused over her mouth. She could taste the sweetness of the pancakes. He gently pressed his finger on her lower lip, and she opened her mouth slightly taking his finger in and sucking syrup gently off the tip. Stark groaned deeply and pressed her up against the wall. She leaned into him and kissed him intensely before pulling away and disappearing into the bathroom.
Stark was left alone in the hall, staring at the back of the door.
CHAPTER 10
Kira noted a chill as she opened the door to her apartment. That was odd. She had expected the apartment to be warm and toasty after her long walk home from work. She noted a slight rustle in the curtains by the French door to her balcony. Upon inspection she found it slightly ajar. She opened the door fully and went out onto the small space. Nothing was amiss except a broken flowerpot. The flowers inside had long since died, as Kira did not have an especially green thumb. The wind maybe? I might have forgotten to shut the door fully, she thought as she set the pot upright. She went back inside, locking the door behind her. After a taking a thorough survey of her apartment and finding nothing out of place, Kira decided it must have been her own carelessness. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that someone had been there. The feeling stirred some dark memories and old fears. They threatened to return to her. You are being childish. That was years ago and thousands of miles away. Stop this!
Kira’s phone buzzed. She snatched it up, desperate for a distraction from her present craziness. Looking down, a smile crossed her lips. It was Stark.
I’ve been thinking
Of those lips all day
I ought to spank that little ass
For leaving me hanging.
Kira laughed. She remembered the look on his face when she left him in the hallway. She had wanted to pay him back for crashing her lunch. But now she ached to see him again.
You wouldn’t dare!
Christmas is only a month away.
You don’t want to end up
On the naughty list.
You have no idea what I would like to do to you, Stark thought, smiling, but that would have to wait. His thoughts shifted to the afternoon’s obstruction. Captain Holt was beginning to get in the way. He hated the little shit for being able to spend so much time with her. He had worked very hard to control his jealousy when he saw them together. He was used to having things under his control. Everything in his life was set, regimented. Kira threw all of that into a whirl. She was the one unpredictable variable in his life and he was beginning to crave it like a drug.
Honey I live on the naughty list.
This one sentence stirred memories of their weekend. The excitement, heat, and desire poured over her.
You make that sound like
A fun place to be
Quickly he typed back.
You have no idea.
Maybe one day I’ll show you.
His invitation both excited and frightened her. She loved the idea of spending more intimate time with him. But something, something dark between the lines, terrified her.
You better behave.
Santa won’t come see you.
Stark looked at her response and smiled. He sent one last message before heading out the door.
He already has.
See you in a few.
Kira was embarrassed to realize she was giggling like a schoolgirl. Thankfully there was no one there to hear her. She placed her phone on the counter and went to have a shower and change. She let hot water envelop her. With her mind on Stark and the distraction of the shower, she never heard the French door open and the intruder letting himself out.
* * *
One thing Kira was thankful for in her small apartment was the water pressure. She had a seemingly endless supply of glorious hot water at her disposal. Taking a moment to fully enjoy the sensuous heat, Kira’s mind took her back to the weekend’s showers with Stark. The sight of that man’s body naked! She slowly rubbed the soapy sponge over her breasts and down her abdomen, exhaling softly and imagining it was him. His need possessed her. Something in the tone of his text and the intensity of his eyes when they were together hinted at a darker yearning. This frightened Kira but she was becoming too obsessed with him to turn back.
The apartment was chilly as she stepped out of the shower. She quickly dressed and dried her hair. She was just finishing when she heard the knock at the door. She took one last glance at her wayward chestnut mop, quickly ran a brush through it, and ran to the door. As she entered the living room she stopped dead in her tracks. The icy blast through the slightly open French door sent her into a panic. I locked this! Or at least I think I locked it. She peeked out onto the balcony but there was no one in sight. Pulling the door shut, Kira was careful to lock it this time. Then she hastily ran to answer the door. Stark stood there wait
ing. He was all smiles from their earlier conversation. Silently she debated whether she should tell him about the door. No, I’d sound crazy. I am seriously overreacting. Kira dismissed it.
“Are you OK?” Stark asked, concerned. He could see the anxiety she was trying to hide.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied. “I just thought I heard something. But it’s nothing.” Kira noted the rustle at his feet. She looked down to see Mags pacing impatiently.
“Kira, this is my Maggie. Maggie, this is Kira,” Stark said warmly, introducing his two girls for the first time.
Kira knelt down and nuzzled the dog. “Hey there, Maggie, it’s nice to meet you.” She laughed as Maggie got excited and licked her face. Kira loved dogs. “Owen, she’s beautiful!” Kira exclaimed, still petting Mag’s soft fur.
Stark smiled. He was very happy to see his girls get along so well. “I thought we could take Maggie for a walk,” he invited. “If you want to bundle up, we can drive to the head of an impressive trail not too far from here.”
“That sounds great,” Kira said as she grabbed her coat. She was thankful to get out of the apartment. Taking one last look around she was careful to lock the front door and secure it tightly. She glanced around the building and scanned the alley as they got into the truck. There was no sign of anything unusual. She knew that she was just being paranoid.
They drove into the mountains with Maggie between them. Stark petted Mags, then stretched his arm out over Kira’s shoulder. Slick move, she thought and shot him a playful glance.
“What?” he asked, laughing. He strummed his fingers over her shoulder. “I missed you today,” he said finally.
“I saw you at lunch,” she replied, realizing she had missed him too.
“That didn’t count,” he said in mock desperation. “Captain Dipshit was there. Watching you have lunch with the Ken doll does not count as my idea of a good time.”
“Oh, poor thing. Well, if it’s any consolation, I was too distracted by the dirty pancakes to have much of a conversation with him,” she finished, smiling sweetly.
They got out of the truck and started up the trail together. Far away from the prying eyes at base, they could be themselves. Stark reached out and took her hand as they walked. Mags ran around them, happily barking and leading the way up the trail. The late November wind was bitter but they didn’t notice.
After a few minutes of walking and just enjoying each other, Kira spoke. “Today, watching you guys in the diner, I could see what you mean about the team being your family.”
“They are my family. We’re brothers. We’ve been through hell together. We have each other’s backs in all things,” Stark answered, not sure where this was going.
Suddenly she missed her father more than ever. She didn’t know why the thought bothered her so. She even realized that her reaction was irrational, but seeing Stark like that with his team had made her appreciate that her father had had a whole other life, one he couldn’t walk away from. She wondered if Stark ever would. “I guess they always will be the biggest part of you. It was like that for my dad, too.” She didn’t even realize she said it out loud until it was too late.
“Your dad? What does my team have to do with your dad?” Stark asked, confused. Kira had avoided any questioning about her family up to this point. He needed to know what she meant and why she seemed so sad. He had seen it when they ran the first time. He could see it sometimes when she looked at him. They crested a small hill and Stark stopped abruptly. He pulled her to him and kissed her softly, then deeply. After a moment he stepped back and took her face in his hands. “Tell me about your father.” Stark stood very still. His voice was soft but intense.
“Owen, I don’t think this is the best time,” Kira replied. She tried to turn away but Stark held her to him.
“It’s better than in the middle of a five star restaurant,” he said curtly. This struck Kira like a blow to the gut. She painfully remembered pressuring him to talk about his sister’s death and his subsequent breakdown at the finest restaurant in Aspen.
“Ouch!” she said, admitting defeat. “OK, let’s walk and I’ll tell you. But Owen, you may not like how this story ends.”
Fear caught Stark. He could face anything except losing her. Yet somehow he dreaded that was exactly where this would lead. He paused for a moment but continued. There was no turning back. He wanted her, all of her. “We’ll be OK. Tell me,” he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. They continued on the trail up through the woods.
“I idolized my father,” Kira began. “He was everything a man should be. He was strong and fierce, yet incredibly gentle and tender. He loved my mother and she loved him. I didn’t grow up with a lot of money or have ski houses or anything like that. But I had a wonderful childhood. It was everything a little girl could dream of. We lived on base in Georgia.”
“Your dad was in the army?” Stark asked, starting to piece it together.
“Yeah, Special Forces like you. He was a Ranger. I believed he hung the moon,” Kira said, her voice nostalgic. She told Stark stories from her childhood, silly games she and her father would play. How he taught her to love running. Stark could see how close they had been and he began to get a sinking feeling about where this story would lead.
“I was ten when the MPs came to our house,” she continued shakily. She paused for a moment, looking away. When she looked back Stark could see tears brimming in her eyes. She recounted the horrifying moment when her mother had opened the door. “They told us he had been killed in action. Just like that, he was gone. It was if all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could not breathe. I remember my mother’s stunned silence that turned into screams, screams and wailing that lasted for days. She stopped bathing or eating. She was so absorbed in her own mourning and loss to realize we were still there. I remember the wives of the men from my father’s team coming to help us. They were wonderful, cooking for us and helping us until we had to leave base. We weren’t in the army anymore and couldn’t stay there. My mother slipped into a hopeless state.” Kira stopped talking, choking back a sob.
Stark put his arm protectively around her. At least he had been an adult. He struggled to imagine facing that loss and insecurity as a small child. He remembered Maggie at ten. The thought of her all alone, trying to keep her family together, made him physically sick. He pulled her close to him as they walked. “What did you do?” he asked tenderly.
“My mother had family back in West Virginia. She was from a small town called Davis. She still had an aunt and uncle there. They were older but it was somewhere for us to go. One of the women from the group helped me pack. She told me I would have to take care of my brothers and my mom. We boarded a train with what we could carry, and just like that, left the only life we had ever known behind.” As Kira finished, Stark could see the depths of her raw vulnerability. He understood the source of her pain. But as she began to speak again she became rigid once more and for the first time he saw her true strength.
“I knew we had to stay together. I wouldn’t let my little brothers be taken to some group home. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself was not an option,” she explained. As they walked on, Kira told him of growing up in the hills of West Virginia with a shell of a parent and two small brothers to look after. He could see the tenacity that had kept them alive and together. She was a fighter. He marveled at her ability to recall and laugh genuinely at funny things that happened due to her inexperience. With a sense of humor and true love of each other, her family survived all the pain, hunger, and hopeless times.
They had reached the top of the overlook and the end of the trail. Stark stopped and looked into her eyes. He gently tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. Finally it all made horrible sense. “When I said I couldn’t explain what it was like to lose a part of your family and have your whole life change, you said I didn’t have to. It wasn’t just because you were kind and understanding. It was because you had been there.” He pulled h
er tightly to him and held her as if somehow wrapping her up in his arms would make up for all those lonely, scary days.
“You see,” she said, at last pulling away from him, “this is why we can’t be together. It’s crazy. Seriously Owen, what the hell have we been thinking? It’s not just fraternization, it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to avoid. Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I was going to finish my four years and get as far away from the military as possible. I wasn’t supposed to feel so tied to the service. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to fall for a guy with the exact same fucking job that killed my father!” Her words were sharp. She turned to go back the way they had come but Stark still had hold of her. As she pulled away, his hand caught in her dog tags. The chain gave way and the tags fell into the fresh snow. A hush fell over them. As they stood staring at the broken symbol of her identity, Stark gently took her hand.
“God help me, Kira, but I can’t let you go. I know if I was a better man I would walk away but I can’t. You’re right about the fraternization. I hold the honor of the military above all else in my life. At least I did until I met you. Everything in my life was set until I ran into you. Even though there is so much stacked against us, unless you tell me to leave, I’ll never be able to let you go.” Stark’s voice was tense and breathless. “I need you, Kira.”
His words hit Kira like a lightning bolt. I don’t want him to let me go. Ever. Her lips found his. Before she realized it, she was kissing him with such fervor it was almost as if she was trying to devour him. Her hands found his hair. Holding tightly, she braced as he returned the kiss.
Stark September (Stark Trilogy Book 1) Page 12
