She felt her aunt’s warm arms wrap around her. “You’re a strong girl, Kira,” her Aunt Melissa said. Her voice had a roughness to it of someone who had made it in these mountains. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Not that she showed, anyway. Her weathered hands had survived many storms in life and she always kept going. “You have to be strong for you mama and your brothers. That’s your fate, baby girl. You can cry about it, try to hide from it like your mama is, or you can love it.”
Kira looked up, tears still brimming in her eyes. “Love it?” she asked confused at how you could possibly love this.
The older woman’s face wrinkled with lines of smiles through the years. “Life is always going to bring you hurdles, challenges that seem impassable. You can cower before them or you can love it and use that to fight onward. Love your fate baby girl and never be afraid.”
She considered how Melissa offered comfort and love, found a way to provide for all these extra mouths on such a meager budget without a complaint, and knew this is what it meant to soldier on. Young Kira and her aunt had walked back to the house together. Kira wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. Once inside, she took it off and laid it over her mother. She knew that she would stand like her father did. She would find a way to protect and care for her mom and brothers and no matter what happened in her life, she would never give up. She would love her fate.
Mags jumped up on the couch beside her. Holding the blanket with one hand, Kira reached out with the other and rubbed Mag’s soft, speckled fur. She had a way of making the world OK again. “You would like my Aunt Melissa,” Kira told Mags as she scratched her ears. “You would have liked my parents, too.” Kira thought of her brothers. She hadn’t spoken to either one for a little while. They had grown into such hard working young men. She reached for her phone and tried to call Jacob. No answer. He was probably at work. It would be nice to hear his voice today. She knew it was no use calling Nicholas. He would be far out of cell reach. As a sophomore in college, he was off on a research project. She didn’t know much about it other that it had to do with fish. Kira thought of their parents and wondered if they would be proud. Suddenly Kira’s mind drifted to a box her aunt had sent last year just after her mother had passed. Kira knew from her aunt’s letter that it contained her mother’s few things. Although at the time it had been too painful to open, she needed it now. Her aunt felt her mother’s death was a result of all the drugs the doctors had her on for depression. Kira knew she had died inside a long time ago. She had to find that box. Kira jumped up and grabbed her keys. She got Maggie and raced for the Jeep. She was fairly certain that she brought it when she moved to base and that it would be in one of the closets at the apartment. She couldn’t explain her overwhelming need to get it now.
Upon arriving at her apartment, Kira started tearing through every neatly stored box in her apartment. It just had to be here. After demolishing the three closets in her meager apartment she sat on the couch defeated. She was sure she had brought it with her. She wracked her brain trying to remember whether was in the things she shipped back to West Virginia between medical school and the Army. No, those things had been carefully packed and shipped and she had gotten rid of everything else she didn’t need. Surely she hadn’t accidently thrown it out. Kira’s heart sunk. Then it dawned on her. The totes under her bed. She knew instantly it was in there. Kira ran to her bedroom and pulled the long, low tote out from under her bed. There it was, still wrapped in brown parchment. It was about the size of a boot box, addressed to her from Melissa Mathews, PO Box 23 Davis, WV 26260. Kira traced her fingers over the faded ink. She paused and took a deep breath before tearing it open. She couldn’t help but laugh when she saw it was a boot box. Size 9 women’s Justin work boots. Kira knew those were her aunt’s. She untied the twine and carefully lifted the lid. Inside lay a lifetime of memories. She hesitated, unsure she was ready for this. Love it. Love your fate. This is who you are. It’s where you came from. With trembling fingers, Kira began to remove and examine each item.
Everything was neatly packaged in ziplocks and tied with ribbon. Kira removed the first packet and opened it. It was an envelope of pictures. Kira poured through photos of her mother and father as they were dating. She picked one up of her mother, so beautiful, young and carefree. Her eyes were bright and hopeful. Kira hadn’t seen her like that for years. The grainy photographs were about 30 years old. Kira saw her father, so dashing in his battle dress uniform. He was the strongest and most beautiful man she had ever known. His dark hair was cut short and his eyes still held an innocence about them. This photo must be from before he had ever been deployed. Kira had never seen him so boyish. The man she’d known, while always kind and loving with her, had a hardness about him. His face was furrowed with deep lines from having been places and experiencing things he would never be able to talk about at home. The firm set jaw she remembered was smiling freely in the photo, undoubtedly saying something hilarious to her mother who was laughing and looking up at him with star struck eyes. Kira watched their romance unfold through a series of aging photographs. It was a side of her parents she had never known. She could see so much of Stark and herself in this young couple. She wondered if they had any inkling of what they were in for. If they knew how things would end, would they still have embraced the path they were on? Her eyes brimmed with tears once more. The poor wide-eyed couple so very much in love had no clue what lay ahead. Kira wiped away stray tears as she put the photos back in the package. She wasn’t sure she could stand to look at them anymore today.
The next packet contained a stack of bound letters. She untied them and examined the envelopes. They were letters from her parents to each other over the years. The worn envelopes displayed addresses of various posts from around the world. She tenderly opened a letter. The handwriting she immediately recognized as her mothers.
My Dearest Kendall,
I can still feel the warmth of your hand on my face. How I miss you so already. I know we have only known each other a few short weeks but I already feel I have known you for a lifetime. The moon-lit walk we took on our last night together plays over and over in my mind and heart. When you took me in your arms and…
Kira abruptly put the letter down. She decided maybe she wasn’t ready for all the intimate details of her parent’s love life. She started putting the letters back when a tattered fragment of a damaged letter slipped from the pack. The paper was worn thin from years of being fondled by her grief stricken mother. Kira knew the fragile pages by heart. It was the letter her father had written from his last deployment just in case. His best friend Sergeant Bradley had delivered it after her father’s death. Her mother had read it over and over. Though Kira hadn’t looked at it in years, just seeing the envelope brought back every line.
Dear Ellen, Kira, Jacob and Nicholas,
I want to start by saying I am sorry. If you are reading this then I have failed to be fast enough, strong enough, lucky enough to return to you as I promised. I love you all dearly. This letter is so hard to write but there are things I need to say. Things I need you to know if I never have another chance to tell you. Ellen, I have loved you from the first moment that I saw you standing by the stadium steps with your friends. You were a vision. I knew from that moment that someday you would be my wife. You have given me more joy than one man could ever hope for or deserve. I am deeply sorry that I will not be there to do the same for you. You have given me a beautiful daughter and two wonderful little sons. I pray that you will find the strength to raise them up into men. Ellen, you are the light in the darkness. You are my best friend, my love, my life. I know that I cannot be forgiven for leaving you alone. You are always on my mind and heart. I don’t know by what power in heaven you were brought to me but I am forever thankful. Know that if I do not return, when my last breath escapes my lips it will whisper your name.
My little Kira, my brave little spitfire, I trust you to always be strong and kind. Help your mother, help others. Serve God and you
r country as I have taught you. I rest knowing that you my angel are destined for great things. I cherish the touch of your little hand. My sweet child, grow into the woman I know that you can be. You make me proud every day. In my eyes no man will ever be good enough for you. You deserve more.
My sweet boys, you are so small. Your bright faces will grow into men of honor. There is so much I want to say to you, I am at a loss for words. I wanted to teach you to throw a ball, drive a car. I wanted to be the one to tell you about life and the world. I wanted to teach you how to treat a woman with love and respect. I wanted to watch you grow. Please listen to your mom and know that you can be anything, do anything you dedicate yourself to. I remember holding, you rocking you, and walking the floor with you while home from my last deployment. I dreamed I held you the other night. I was singing to calm you. I woke up to the sound of gunfire overhead and my arms were empty. Know that I have loved you from the first minute that I knew you existed. I loved you while you grew inside your mother. I will love you every day that I breathe and for everyday that you go on after.
My family, I will be with you all in mind and spirit. Your memories and the lives you build will keep me alive in you. I love you. I treasure you.
Love Always,
Kendall
Kira’s hands were shaking, Her chest shuddered with deep broken breaths as she laid the letter down. Mags whimpered and tried to nuzzle in close. She laid her head in Kira’s lap and knocked over the box. Kira started to scold her but stopped short. In the pile of priceless memories lay a gallon-sized zip-lock containing the stained and threadbare remnants of her father’s woobie. Gingerly Kira opened the bag and took out the scrap of fabric, now so worn it was only about two foot square when unfolded. Kira held her breath as she gently traced her fingers over stains that told the story of her life. Reflexively she held it to her face, and though the scent of her parents had long since faded, the love was there.
CHAPTER 20
“Paige I really don’t feel like going out tonight,” Kira insisted. She knew her pleading was futile but she really didn’t want to go anywhere. Paige and Zoe had shown up dressed to the nines ready to take her to some club.
“You have done nothing but go to work and hang out here like a spinster since Stark left. Besides, you owe us Vanilla, remember? We took care of your boy Holt and his hot little friend Cody so you could escape with Stark. Time to pay up. You are going out with us.” Paige’s sculpted eyebrows and bright red lips were set in a determined scowl.
Kira rolled her eyes as Paige pushed past her into Stark’s house and started up the stairs toward his bedroom. “What the hell?,” she called out after her. “Owen didn’t leave me. He is in California taking care of his father’s estate. Stop this instant! Where are you going?”
Paige called down to soothe her: “Oh, we’re not taking you out like that. I’m going to see what you have in that plain vanilla closet of yours. There has to be something we can put you in.” Paige’s voice trailed off as she ascended the stairs. She was in full dominatrix mode. She trudged up the stairs with Zoe following behind carrying 2 suitcases.
“What are those? You two are NOT moving in here!” Kira didn’t even try to hide the distain as her voice rose two octaves. “I’m serious you two!”
Paige stopped at the top of the stairs and laughed out loud. “These are for you,” she countered. “Zoe has bet me we won’t find anything suitable for you up here so we brought backup.” With that, the two women disappeared from view in the direction of Stark’s room.
“You can’t be serious. I’m not dressing up like some 1950s pole dancer. You can forget it,” Kira continued. She followed them up the stairs to make sure they didn’t tear anything up. She had been dying to know what happened with Holt. He had barely spoken two words to her since she had ditched him at dinner and left him in the hands of these two. “So what exactly did happen with Holt and Cody?” She followed them down the long hall to Stark’s room.
Once inside, Zoe started dumping the suitcases, spilling small pieces of sordid fabric that were possibly meant to be clothes and piles of make-up all over Starks immaculate king size bed. Kira cringed as she watched Paige slip into her closet. As uptight as Stark was about his things, Kira wondered how he and Paige had ever lived together.
“Where are all your clothes? I thought you were moving in?” Paige turned sharply looking a Kira.
“I don’t officially live here, Paige. I have my own apartment. I just stay here some.” Kira didn’t want to admit that was most of her wardrobe: scrubs, BDUs, workout clothes, and a few civilian outfits.
“This is pathetic. You really don’t have a life do you?” Paige said, then turned back to Zoe, “OK you win. Nothing good in here.”
“Yes!!” Zoe was as chipper as a kid at Christmas. She started picking up tiny scraps of purple, red, and black fabric. She cocked her head she held them up, eying Kira, looking for just the right ensemble. “It’s like playing dress up with our very own Vanilla Barbie!” She squealed, choosing bits of material.
“Listen, I don’t know what kind of crack you are smoking, but I’m not putting that on. It looks like a recipe for hepatitis!” Kira started to back away. They had finally lost it. She couldn’t imagine that Owen was any more cool with this than she was. She hadn’t heard from him in days. Upon arriving in California, he had called to let her know he was safe and would be there for a while taking care of things. He had sounded terrible but strong, too, in a way. There were so many things she had wanted to say, but the timing just wasn’t right. Kira stifled the twinge of jealousy that she felt every time she thought about Simone being there, sharing this very personal time with him. She shuddered, thinking of the snake comforting Owen. She snapped back to reality in time to see Zoe coming at her with a hideously small excuse for an outfit.
“It’s perfect!” Zoe practically purred. “Now if we can just get it on you. Tell you what, be a good girl and let us dress you up. Paige will tell you all about Cody and your boy Holt.”
Damn! The curiosity was killing her. While she had no desire to go out in any kind of public space dressed like a hooker, she really wanted to know what happened. Based on Holt’s evasive behavior it had to be good. “I’m a doctor, for crying out loud. I can’t get all dressed up like a street walker and go out.”
“Trust me, you won’t know anyone where we’re going,” Zoe said. She and Paige exchanged looks, smiling slyly.
Against all better judgment Kira took the tiny outfit in one hand and looked it over. “This is clean, right? You have washed and sanitized it?” Kira wrinkled her nose as she looked up at Paige.
Paige just laughed. “Try to keep the doctor paranoia under wraps tonight Vanilla. You need to let your hair down a little. Trust me, you’re going to like this place as much as Holt did.” Paige touched a panel in the wall exposing a mini bar that Kira never knew existed.
“Damn!” Kira said partially under her breath. Paige knew so much more about this house and Stark than perhaps she would ever know.
Paige smiled like a Cheshire cat. She took down a bottle of Jameson and confidently poured three glasses. “Here Vanilla, this should take the edge off.”
The combination of curiosity, jealousy, and frustration overtook Kira and she took the glass. She thought of Stark in California with Simone, the crazy relationship he had with Paige and Zoe and God knows who else. The intense liquid was smooth and warming. Kira felt it slide down, thawing her defenses. She finished the glass and held it up to Paige for another. Then Kira took the sultry excuse for an outfit defiantly and went to put it on. She caught the satisfied smile of Paige and Zoe’s faces out of the corner of her eye. She decided she didn’t care what anyone thought. Tonight she would have a good time.
While they fixed her hair and painted her up into a smoky-eyed temptress, Kira sipped Jameson and listened to Zoe and Paige take turns telling her how they had distracted and entertained Holt and Cody. Though Holt had been upset when she had left th
e restaurant that night, Paige had convinced him to stay put with a carefully placed hand on his thigh. Throughout dinner, Zoe and Paige had ensnared their evening toys. Finally Paige, sitting with her leg crossed slightly over Holt’s, leaned in and whispered quietly, her soft lips brushing his cheek as she spoke. “Liam darling, I want you to take me someplace we can get to know each other better.”
Zoe laughed and recalled how Holt’s face had flushed when Paige stroked her black painted nail down his chest as she spoke. The four of them had piled into Paige’s car and off they went with Zoe and Cody cuddled up in the back, wasting no time exploring each other. Holt was very serious and a bit more reserved, Paige remembered. She could tell that he was a control freak, her favorite kind to break. They took the boys to The Apex Club and started them off with dancing and shots. Paige described in graphic detail how she had danced seductively with Zoe, peaking the boys’ interest and lowering their inhibitions.
“Where is that? I have never even heard of it. Then what happened?” Kira piped up. “What did you two do to them?” Kira looked past the two giggling harlots into the mirror. She barely recognized the Moulin rouge dancer starring back at her. “Oh, hell.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll find out soon enough,” Zoe said, smiling from ear to ear.
Before she could protest further, Paige and Zoe piled her into the Bel Aire and they set off for The Apex Club.
Stark September (Stark Trilogy Book 1) Page 25
