Stark stood motionless, his blood boiling, gripping the bar. Chip noticed his pale face and slapped him on the shoulder. “Hey what’s wrong?” he asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
But Stark barely heard him. The room was fully spinning now. All the music and people had faded into a muted haze. He bolted for the door, knocking over a stool in his drunken state, and ran out into the night. Panting with anger and fear, he ran into the parking lot. He had to see her. He just had to see her. He didn’t care what anyone thought or said. He didn’t care about fraternization, or the little shit, or Simone. At that moment for the first time in a decade he didn’t care about the fucking army. He just had to see her, though he knew it would break him to.
* * *
Kira slumped into the seat of the car, still shaking. Holt got in slamming his door. “I don’t know why Cody wanted to go there in the first place,” he griped. He turned on the engine. “Are you ok? You look like you’re going to be sick.” Holt wrinkled his face as he spoke. He absolutely did not want her vomiting all over the interior of his BMW.
“I’m fine…really,” Kira swallowed hard as she spoke. “I’m fine. I just drank too much at the last bar.” Kira put her head in her hands to steady the spinning. She was anything but fine. What the hell was he doing there? Kira thought for sure he was still in California with Simone. She was so angry. She wanted to hate him. He was supposed to be thousands of miles away. But there he was. Tonight she passed by him so close she could have touched him.
“Look if you’re going to throw up, say something, OK? Just give me time to pull over,” Holt said. His words jolted her to the present. Kira wasn’t making any promises. The mix of the alcohol and being so close to Stark had her near passing out or vomiting or both. She sat back in the leather seat, her heart racing a thousand miles faster than the speeding car. This was supposed to be an evening to cheer up. Get back into the real world. Holt and Cody had been begging her for days to go out and do something fun. This was in part due to her gloomy mood around the clinic for the last week. She had finally consented. She had been running insane distances and that didn’t seem to be working. She’d agreed that maybe getting out and having some fun would help.
Kira had gone home after work and attempted to hide her despair with makeup and strappy heels. She chose a simple white sundress and went to check her reflection in the full-length mirror. OK, stress plus running equals unintended weight loss. She frowned but decided it didn’t look that bad for a casual night out. On the upside the shorter length showed off her calves, which didn’t look too shabby in the 3-inch heels. She rushed to grab her bag. As she did, she swept a pile of creepy notes into the garbage bin. She was too angry and tired of all this baloney to care about a stalker, real or imagined. After the events of the last week, she thought it was probably all Simone’s doing, anyway. Just the thought of the plastic bitch Barbie made her furious. And Stark, the idiot, had gone with her. How he was naïve enough to believe the twisted snake she would never know. Kira shook her head as she walked out the door to meet Holt and Cody.
“Hot damn, woman!” Cody exclaimed shaking her back to Holt’s car in Jack Quinn’s parking lot. “You look set to kill. I thought we were going out to have fun,” he teased. She could see the look of pity on his face like one gets for a friend going through a hard time. She wondered what sort of story Holt had told him. “Come on, there are some really good places to let loose on Tejon Street.”
Holt took his usual protective stance near Kira as they resumed bar hopping with a few other officers from the group. They stopped in a stuffy cigar bar, Holt’s choice of course, and ordered a drink. After a while the stale atmosphere bored everyone but Holt to near tears and they decided to move on. Kira was secretly thankful for the chance to calm down and get her nerves under control. Having seen Stark was driving her crazy.
Southside Johnny’s was their next stop. Kira liked this place. She could hear the music pumping from the live band in back. Johnny was a biker but the bar was open to anyone and was a fun stop. Kira usually enjoyed people watching. The NUGS that went there and the preying cougars put on quite a show. But tonight Kira was barely keeping pace with the group. She couldn’t shake the smug grin on Simone’s face from her mind. Kira gripped her drink tightly and spilled a little on Holt. “Hey, watch it!” he scolded, looking at her disapprovingly.
Kira wondered if Holt ever relaxed and had fun or if somewhere in his self-righteous mind he was too good for that. She pictured him on the golf course wearing khaki pants and a polo sweater discussing the stock market and laughing at the little people. Her mind drifted back to Stark. He had been so close at Jack Quinn’s she could still smell his cologne. She looked around the bar but he wasn’t there. Cody was charming his way into the conversation of two very beautiful women. He glanced over at Kira and saw the forlorn look on her face. “OK, that’s it!” he said to himself, He left the two women gawking after him and strode over to Kira. Taking her hand, he pulled her off the bar stool toward the dance floor.
“Wait! Where are we going?” Kira asked as she stumbled along behind him.
He paused at the bar and ordered two shots. “Drink!” he ordered, handing one to her.
“Wait a minute.” Holt appeared right behind them. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He glared at Cody as he spoke.
“We brought her out her to have some fun,” he replied before chugging his shot, “She looks like her puppy died. We need to liven things up.”
“Kira, don’t over do it with the alcohol. You and I both know…” Holt started, but Kira saw the patronizing look on his face and defiance took over. She swallowed the shot in one gulp and followed Cody to the dance floor. The liquid courage warmed her and Kira began to move to the music. She let the music flow through her. Arms and legs moving to the intoxicating beat, she let go. She released all the pain and hate and sadness she had been feeling over Stark. She felt herself flying free.
Cody picked her up and swirled her around. “Come on,” he said laughing. “Let’s move up the street to Rum Bay. You seem like a girl who needs to dance this night away.” Cody grabbed her around the waist. After one more quick trip to the bar for a shot they were on their way up the road to Rum Bay. Cody held her tight as they made their way up Tejon Street. The music drifted out from the various establishments they passed. Kira turned and saw Holt following closely behind, scowling as if Cody was overstepping his bounds. He quickly stepped out of the way when Cody twirled Kira to music flowing out of a lively bar they passed.
“This one looks fun,” Kira said, laughing as he twirled her again and almost knocking Holt off the sidewalk.
“Oh no,” said Cody. “Moves like that belong in a club. A dance club!” He clarified before she could say anything.
Kira could feel the thumping coming from Rum Bay as they got closer. The bouncer looked her up and down. He grinned and moved the ropes to let them in. As soon as they were through the door the beat was as intoxicating as the next shot Cody thrust into her hand.
She tipped it back, swallowing before Cody could even coax her. She grabbed his hand and made her way to the dance floor. She felt as if the pounding of the beat was moving through her veins, pumping life back into her dead soul. Eyes closed, arms above her head, she moved freely and with life. She let go of all else and danced. She dipped and moved in a sexy rhythm all her own as if no one was watching.
Stark burst through the door and staggered into the bar. Chip and Johnny followed closely behind. “This is gonna be bad,” Chip said over his shoulder as Stark made his way like a steam roller through the sea of bodies to the dance floor. He froze when he saw her. There she was, sweat glistening from her body, wild chestnut hair clinging to her skin as she danced with total abandon. He knew that look. He painfully remembered the expression when she let go for him. “Oh, hell no!” he shouted. Suddenly able to move again, he charged forward, moved Cody a few feet out of the way, and scooped up Kira in one s
wift motion. Johnny and Chip fanned out to contain Cody, Holt, and the other officers in their group.
“Whatsss the hell are you doing” Kira slurred, squealing over his shoulder. She struggled against him trying to push herself free but it was no use. He was so much bigger than her. It was useless anyway because she didn’t want him to let her go. The intense heat and ferocity of his body electrified her. His dark curls felt soft against her face, the heady scent of whiskey mixed with his cologne smelled delicious. She instantly remembered the first night they spent together in the mountains. She fought to maintain some shred of dignity. “What the hell are you doing?” She repeated this time with more authority than she felt. “You wanted, this remember? You made your choice and it wasn’t me!” She was yelling now. She could give a fuck who heard her at this point.
Stark didn’t answer. He just kept walking, carrying her through the kitchen area and into a back service hall that connected the many clubs in the building. In the dark he set her down gently and then pinned her against the wall. He stood pressed up against her holding her arms above her head. In an instant his mouth came crashing down on hers. His kiss was needy and uncontrolled. It spoke volumes of the pain and wanton desperation he felt at losing her. “I was wrong,” he began in a raspy voice before she could say anything. “I was wrong to let you go. You are my life Kira, my soul, my everything. I was dead inside until I met you. You make me feel things I didn’t know existed. You make me feel alive and it scares the hell out of me.” He bent his forehead to hers. She could feel the dampness of his face on hers. In the darkness she couldn’t tell if it was sweat or tears.
His mouth closed back around hers. The kiss was salty and laced with whiskey. Kira closed her eyes, drinking him in and returning his kiss. She longed to wrap her arms around him. No matter how mad she was she couldn’t resist his touch. Powerful fingers held her and reverberated sex with each movement. She could feel the electricity between them pulling her from the darkness and back to life.
He let her hands go and slid one down to cup the back of her head pulling her up and closer to him. The other slid down her back. Stark inhaled sharply as if in pain as his fingers found the small of her back and the void in the soft fabric of her dress. The white sundress was open exposing most of her back. “This dress is lethal!” he breathed heavily. “I’d like to wrap you up in my jacket and take you home! You are mine!”
Kira pulled away and looked up at him. She had to get a hold of herself. “You’re not wearing a jacket. And you can’t just go around like a dog marking your territory,” she protested. She put her fingers up to Starks lips before he could interrupt. “Before you say anything, peeing on my leg is out of the question,” she added with a smirk. “Stark, I’m serious, nothing has changed. We can’t be together any more today than we could a week ago. I love you. I do. It won’t change but you know that’s not enough. You said it yourself.” As she heard the words coming out of her mouth, she felt her heart breaking all over again. She felt a knife ripping her soul in two but she held strong. She knew it was for the best. She hoped it was for the best.
Stark’s eyes flew open wide. He felt as if ice water ran through his veins, draining every bit of life out of him. At first he struggled to speak, but after a moment he just pulled her to him tightly. “I can’t let you go,” he spoke, his voice small, a barely audible plea from a broken man. He knew she was right. The dim light in the hall from an aged bulb flickered and threatened to leave them in total darkness. He held her close to him for a tender moment. He thought about how you only miss the light when it’s burning low. He realized how tragic it was that when he had finally come to love so deeply, he hadn’t known just how much until he let her go. He dropped his arms to his sides, stepped back, and let her go.
CHAPTER 25
Stark sat on the bench in the team room of the Unit Building staring at a light blue box. It looked so tiny in his hands. He laughed, remembering how small Kira’s hand looked in his the first time he held it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had just made the biggest decision of his life. Strangely he had no regrets. He thought that he would feel different, disappointed maybe, but he wasn’t. He knew it was right and he felt free. For the first time in a very long time he would be free to be happy.
“What the hell, man?” Chip bellowed as he came into the room. His voice echoed off the metal lockers giving it a hollow tin sound. “I don’t even know you anymore,” he said, kidding his best friend and punching him in the shoulder. “So you’ve finally gone and done it. I know the Group Commander has been recommending you for the last 2 years but I thought you were stronger than that. Hell, buddy, I’m gonna miss you!”
“Alright, knock it off. I’m not gone yet. I’ve still got to get in. I just sent all the paperwork with my application to the Selection Board. It will be a while before I know anything for sure,” Stark said modestly. He kept it to himself that based on what the commander had said, he was fairly certain he would make it.
“Holy shit, don’t act like that. If you can’t make it, no one can. Hell, you are Achilles Dagger qualified, Level III qualified, you have six years experience with special forces, and you beat the shit out of the rest of us in freaking PT. There is no way they are turning you down.” Chip’s brow furrowed and his face became serious. “They are damn lucky to have you. You are going to make a great officer. If this is what you want, I wish you all the best, man.” He patted Stark on the shoulder and turned to head to the showers. He stopped a few feet away and turned back. “When you marry this girl, I fully expect to be the best man so I can give you all the hell you deserve!” he said, laughing, and turned back to the showers.
Alone with his thoughts, Stark smiled. He hadn’t given the officer commission a second thought before all this. For the last two years he had turned down the recommendation to apply. He had only wanted to stay with his guys. They were brothers, his family. He had thought that they were all he needed, but meeting Kira had changed all that. He realized now he could never let her go. Accepting the commission would mean they could be together without fear of the little shit or Simone exposing them. It would mean and life and a family. He carefully opened the Tiffany’s box, removed the small black box inside, and gently opened it to reveal the stunning 2 carat emerald cut sapphire. Simple elegance, he thought looking at the shimmering blue stone. The saleswoman had said the contrast of the exquisite stone in the understated platinum setting was breathtaking. He sure hoped so. He knew that most girls preferred diamonds but Kira was different. Everything about their relationship was different.
The sapphire was special to him. His mother had worn one and he remembered being a little boy holding her hand seeing it. It was also the stone of September, the month just one year ago when he had first met Kira. It had changed his whole life. He laughed at the irony of it. This month had been so hard for him after losing his mother and Maggie but today, September 5, his life would begin a whole new chapter. He carefully took the delicate ring in his large fingers so very carefully and held it up. He pictured Kira sitting on the chair in the café.
Earlier Stark had sent Kira a note at her office by way of Abbey asking her to meet him at the Sunrise Terrace for dinner at Garden of the Gods Club. He laughed imagining her face at the pretentious location. But he wanted this to be special. He hoped he could count on Abbey to get her to at least come hear him out. He said he chose the location for secrecy so there wouldn’t be a chance of running in to anyone they knew.
Stark went down through his mental checklist to make sure he hadn’t left anything out. Great care and expense had been taken to make sure they would be the only people on the Terrace that evening. The planner had assured him flowers would be on the table and the lighting would be magical. He wasn’t sure what exactly magical lighting entailed but he had requested something that was more like fireflies than Time Square. The silver-haired woman had assured him it would be perfect.
He closed his eyes and imagined Kira sittin
g there against the stunning backdrop of Pikes Peak. The evening light would play on the autumn hues and dance in her hair. He rehearsed, telling her how he could never live without her and about his plan to accept a commission as an officer so that nothing could stand in their way. He imagined a puzzled look on her face when he dropped to his knee and pulled the box out of his jacket. Then the change in her expression (hopefully happy) when he opened the box and asked her to be is wife. He felt a little nauseous. The precious ring felt precarious in his damp fingers and he put it back in the box. What if after all this she said no? Oh, fucking hell! She was still so mad.
* * *
Kira trudged her way through another long day of clinic. She processed multiple incoming and outgoing physicals. It had been two weeks since she last saw Stark during the crazy night of bar hopping. This should be getting easier! It’s not. She worked harder, desperately trying to ignore the bitter ache she felt. The horrid hangover she’d had the morning after Stark had picked her up and carried her off the dance floor had long since subsided. No amount of Motrin would ease the splitting pain left in his absence. She began to understand her mother’s breakdown. She poured herself into her work and her mission to become a flight surgeon. Focusing on her career felt like all she had. She would cling to it and fight. She would refused to let desperation pull her down as it did her mother. She spent her lunch finishing files over a day-old egg salad sandwich. She was just transferring one large stack of folders and grabbing another when the door to her office opened.
Stark September (Stark Trilogy Book 1) Page 34
