Rough Water (Songbird #7)

by Melissa Pearl

  Rubbing my stomach, I opened the fridge and stared at the contents. It was sparse—half a block of cheese, a rotting cucumber, two rubbery carrots, and the leftover Chinese takeout I’d ordered two nights ago.

  Flicking the door closed again, I wrapped my arms around myself, curling my fingers into Justin’s T-shirt and wondering how long the body could survive without food. I’d forced a bowl of granola into me each morning, but that was about it. I was out of milk, so I didn’t know what the hell I was going to eat that morning. I didn’t want to leave the house.

  Having worked all day Saturday, I just needed a day at home to wallow.

  But wallowing was hard work. I felt like I was wasting away. My energy was basically zip; I’d used it all up at work and talking to my mother on the phone Friday night. Thankfully, she’d spent most of her time going on about her romantic getaway with Daddy. I stomached every word and description. It meant I didn’t have to talk about Justin and pretend my life was beautiful.

  I managed to get out the family dinner invite, using Paris as an excuse for me, and making up some big law assignment for Justin.

  Mom was disappointed, but she understood, then told me to be careful I didn’t work myself to the bone.

  I promised her I wouldn’t.

  I lied.

  Work was the only thing I had left.

  How long could I keep the truth from her though? If I signed those divorce papers, I’d have to come clean to my family.

  A shudder jolted my thinning body as I pictured the scenario. Dad’s face, Mom’s wide eyes.

  Neither Justin nor Jane wanted to know who I’d done it with. But Mom, she’d go after those details. She’d want everything.

  My throat felt full of marbles as I tried to swallow down the truth. It was awful.

  Rubbing my neck, I swiveled for the kettle. Black coffee would have to keep me going until I could get to the grocery store. Blech. I hated it black, but with enough sugar…

  The doorbell rang.

  My heart spasmed and I nearly dropped the kettle. Smacking it onto the counter before I could spill water everywhere, I wiped my hands on my cotton pajama pants and shuffled to the door.

  It was either Jane or my mother. I didn’t want to see either, but my car was parked in the driveway, and both knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t be out exercising.

  “Shit,” I muttered under my breath before yanking the door back. “Oh!”

  A woman I’d never met before stood on my front steps. Her dress was designer—I recognized the cut immediately. Her dark locks were pulled into a stylish ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of chic shades. Perfect makeup, Prada handbag slung over her shoulder, and heels that cost more than my weekly wage. I knew exactly who the woman was. I’d seen photos on the wall at work.

  She was carrying a paper bag with the words Quirky Corner Cafe printed on the side. The smells wafting from that thing made my stomach gurgle. Although I couldn’t see her eyes, I could sense her calculating assessment of me.

  A slow smile lifted her lips before she said, “Hi, I’m Kelly.”

  “I know who you are.” My heart thundered. “What are…?” I licked my lips and gazed down at my bare toes. The chipped pink polish seemed so much worse in the light of a DeMarco. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m sorry to just show up like this. I thought if I called first, you might not let me come.” The paper bag in her hand rustled as she held it up. “I was hoping I might be able to bribe you with a fresh blueberry muffin or some banana bread.”

  My traitorous stomach growled. Kelly snickered and gave me another once-over before raising her eyebrows hopefully.

  But I didn’t want the woman in my house. Why was she there? Did she know?

  I blocked her way, trying to keep my voice smooth and easy. “How do you know where I live?”

  Pulling off her shades, she gave me a kind smile. “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds, but I checked out Justin’s file. His home address is listed, so…”

  I rested my head against the door, remembering that Kelly worked at Torrence Records…on the same floor as Justin. “I’m guessing you know the ugly truth then.”

  “Uh…” Kelly glanced away from me then gave me a sheepish smile. “I’ve read between the lines.” Her voice was even, neutral. “Justin hasn’t said anything. I just saw some divorce papers on his desk and… well, I wanted to come and see how you were doing.”

  My forehead wrinkled. “Do you know why he wants a divorce?”

  Kelly looked to the ground, pressing her lips together before finally admitting, “Justin wouldn’t say, but…” She ran a finger over her right eyebrow. “Look, I know I shouldn’t assume anything, but you’re young and beautiful…” She paused before ending with a whispered, “And you work with my father.”

  A shuddering breath jolted out of me.

  What was she saying? How would she know that working with her father would land me in this harrowing position? Did she think I was some swooning designer trying to sleep my way to the top?

  I swallowed, a thick gulp that was actually audible.

  Kelly DeMarco was standing on my doorstep, assuming I’d slept with her father…and she was right.

  “It isn’t what you think,” I murmured. “I…” Shaking my head, I sniffed in a breath and raised my chin. “If you’ve come here with some kind of hate message, don’t bother. I’ve said them all to the mirror already.”

  “I’m not here to do that.” Kelly’s gentle tone confused me.

  “Um…why not?”

  Her face twisted with agony. “Because I know my dad.” Her expression hardened, the tormented sadness making room for a heated look of disgust. “He’s…been doing this kind of thing for a while.”

  My belly knotted. He has?

  “He likes a young, fresh face. I’m pretty sure he errs toward models, but you are one hot designer, so…” Kelly pursed her lips and looked over her shoulder, like maybe she was changing her mind about being here.

  The tight ball in my stomach started bouncing, making me want to throw up again. I wasn’t a one-off for Enrique; he’d done this kind of thing before. I couldn’t decide if that made it better or worse. The man obviously slept around, no doubt when he was out of town. How long had he been doing it? How many young designers and models had he bedded?

  I gripped the door, willing my legs not to give out.

  Kelly, unaware of my inner panic attack, huffed then turned back to face me. “Thing is, you’re the first one I’ve had access to, and it only took me one look to figure out that you’re going through hell right now. I didn’t know how I was going to react when you first opened that door. I had visions of smooshing blueberry muffin into your hair, but…” She smiled. “Now I just kind of want to talk to you. And I promise I’ll do my very best not to judge. I’m guessing you’re feeling kind of lonely right now.”

  “How can you look at me like that? Like I’m not the scum of the earth?”

  Her gaze softened, a small smile tugging at her glossy lips. “Because you just called yourself the scum of the earth. Trust me, I know what real remorse looks like. You’re not faking it.”

  My eyes tingled with tears and I stepped back, making room for Kelly to enter. Her heels hit the wooden floor, sounding like sharp gunshots. I was a shrimp beside her. Motioning with my hand, I led her to the dining room table then stepped into the kitchen to grab two plates.

  “Coffee?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Sure.”

  “I’ve only got black…instant. Sorry, I’m kind of low on supplies right now.”

  “That’s fine.” I couldn’t help noticing the sparkling ring on her finger as she unpacked the paper bag. Square-cut solitaire set in a white gold band. Looked pretty new. I gazed down at my sapphire, rubbing it lovingly as I waited for the kettle to boil.

  We didn’t say anything to each other as we set ourselves up to eat and drink. Kelly set out the plates, dividing the food between us whi
le I made the coffee.

  It wasn’t until I slipped into my seat and started nibbling the corner of my muffin that she said anything.

  “I’m really sorry.” She wrapped her fingers around the mug.

  I gazed down at my plate and shrugged. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. It was my fault.”

  “Was it?” Kelly sipped her coffee and set it back down. “My father, he…” She let out a disgusted huff. “I’m guessing he approached you that night, right?”

  My shoulders slumped as I leaned my elbows on the table. “Justin was supposed to be there. He’d promised me he’d come, and when he didn’t show, I was mad and then heartbroken.” My voice wobbled. “Your father found me crying at the bar. He gave me a hug and then sat down and chatted with me about fashion and then menial things that didn’t matter. He was trying to make me feel better, and I just wanted to forget about my failing marriage.” I sniffed. “It’s been falling apart since the honeymoon ended. We haven’t even made it a year. It’s just been hard work, and I don’t know how to fix it. Since Justin’s brother died, he just… He won’t talk to me anymore.”

  I lifted my hands in a hopeless shrug. “I probably ended up blabbering that all to your father. I can’t really remember. I was already drunk on shots when he ordered us a bottle of champagne. I felt like I couldn’t say no. If anything, I was trying to hide the fact I was tipsy. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my boss.” I rolled my eyes. “The show had gone so well, and he wanted to celebrate, and distract me. So I let him. I don’t know when things turned fuzzy. I can vaguely remember my words starting to slur, and then I cried for a bit…and then he made me laugh.” My expression crumpled.

  Kelly’s face bunched with sympathy. “He would have known what he was doing. My father’s been cheating for years. My mom lets him get away with it. Their marriage is this sick, twisted beast that…” She shook her head. “It’s not normal.”

  “Your mom knows?” I could barely whisper the words.

  Kelly reached for my hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “I don’t think she knows about you specifically. She just knows he’s a cheater. Trust me, she’s never going to do anything about it. The subject is completely taboo.”

  I buried my face in my hands and groaned.

  “Hey.” Kelly shook my wrist. “I’m not trying to make you feel worse. If anything, I’m blaming my father. Honestly, going after a distraught, drunk woman? That’s a new low for him. He knew exactly what he was doing. Did he ask you to dance?”

  With a loud sniff, I sat back and shook my head. “I don’t remember all the details of the night. I definitely don’t remember the trip up to his room. Things come to me in waves. Occasionally, I’ll get hit with something that feels more like a dream than reality.” My lips wobbled, my chin trembling as that sick feeling rose inside me again. “But I’ll never be able to forget the horror of opening my eyes and finding the wrong man lying next to me.” I felt like someone was poking needles into my eyes as I tried to deny the tears. My voice squeaked and croaked. “And then I realized what I’d done, and no matter how hard I wished for it, I couldn’t take it back. I can’t change it or undo it.” Sobs shook my belly. “I want to turn back time. Why can’t I do that?”

  Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn’t bother to brush them away. Kelly stood from her seat and came around to my side of the table.

  “Shh, it’s okay.” She rubbed my back in slow, soothing circles until my shuddering body calmed down to the hiccupy-breaths stage.

  “Justin’s miserable without you, you know. He looks like a lost stray. Those big, sad eyes.”

  I looked down at her. “I love those eyes.”

  “They are very kind,” she whispered then smiled. “They’re worth fighting for.”

  Standing up, she smoothed down her dress and pulled out the chair adjacent to me.

  “Sarah, he’s yours. Those eyes belong to you, and you need to convince him that he can’t live without you. You’re obviously sorry. And Justin’s heart is big enough to forgive you, I know it is.”

  “He wants a divorce.” I pointed at the envelope on the table. “It only happened two weeks ago, and he’s already served me with the initial papers.”

  “He’s still reacting out of pain. You cannot let him make a decision like this on impulse.”

  I sniffed, sitting back and staring at her with puffy eyes. “What am I supposed to do?”

  Kelly’s lips twitched then she leaned toward me. “I did a little snooping and found out he’s staying at a motel just down the road from work. You need to go there and convince him to take you back. Slap some sense into him if you have to. Stop sitting here feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. You want your husband back? Then go get him.”

  My lips parted, and I blinked at her a couple of times.

  “Look, I know it’s not really my place to get involved. Marcus told me not to come here today, but I just can’t sit back and watch such a nice guy fall apart over this. I came here to see for myself what kind of person you are.” She tapped my arm. “You know what, Sarah? I approve. I like you. I want to kill my father for putting you in this position, but more than that, I want to see you guys make it. Go on. Go win back your man.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Justin

  The rain was falling as I slumped home from work. By the time I reached my motel door, I was drenched through. For the record, briefcases make useless umbrellas. My shoes slapped against the ground then splashed into a puddle when I noticed Sarah cowering under the eaves. Her dress was sticking to her shapely body, her blonde hair dark against her pale cheeks.

  She saw me coming and stood up straight, exposing herself to the slanting rain. I ran over to her and quickly opened the door, ushering her inside.

  Dropping my case on the chair, I jumped around my overflowing sports bag and snatched a fresh towel from the bathroom. She hovered by the door, wiping the drips from her skin. Dammit, why’d she have to look so beautiful?

  I threw the towel at her, too afraid to ask why she was there.

  “I didn’t see your car,” I murmured.

  She dried off her face and patted down her dress. “I parked around the block. I didn’t want you to see it and not…come…”

  My jaw worked to the side and I nodded, respecting her answer. Slipping the jacket from my shoulders, I threw it over the back of the rickety chair before ripping off my tie and unbuttoning my shirt.

  Sarah’s eyes roved my body when I exposed my chest to her. I met her gaze and she looked away. This was ridiculous. We were acting like we were about to have sex for the first time.

  We weren’t.

  My eyes skimmed her dress, my body telling me something different.

  I jerked away from the thought and strode to the stereo. The silence between us was suffocating. Music might ease the tension.

  I let out a cynical laugh when I switched on the radio. “Without You” came on, forcing me to soften my bark to a hushed question. “What are you doing here, Sarah?”

  “It’s our wedding anniversary.” She tucked the towel under her chin, her blue eyes filled with so much hope.

  I knew what day it was. It’d been consuming me. In the life I thought we’d have, I would’ve been doing something really special. Wooing her all over again in some creative way.

  But life hadn’t turned out like we thought.

  Dreams were easy.

  Reality was impossible.

  “What do you want from me?” I whispered.

  “Forgiveness.”

  Her aching expression hurt. Pursing my lips, I tried to fight the sudden onset of tears. I wasn’t crying. I hadn’t cried since the day Blake died. I wasn’t about to start now.

  Man up, you wimp!

  I swallowed and nodded. “Okay. And once you have that, then what?”

  Sarah scraped a lock of wet hair off her cheek and hitched her right shoulder. “We move on. Forward. We keep going.”

/>   Dropping her towel, she gave me full view of her erect nipples. They were dark beneath the pale fabric of her wet dress. My groin stirred the more she inched toward me. I glanced to the floor, my chest heaving as I felt her approach.

  “I don’t know how it’s going to work,” she murmured. “I just know we have to do it together. We need to find our way back to each other.”

  The pads of her fingers landed on my shoulder, whistling over my skin as they traced down to my chest. She looked up at me, but I couldn’t meet her gaze. My heart was thundering, my will to set her free fraying at the edges.

  My hand worked of its own accord, drawn to her body by some magnetic force. Living without her had only fed my hunger. Having her standing before me in that sexy wet dress, her hair plastered to her glistening skin, my brain disintegrated, my animal instincts trampling common sense into the dirt. Trailing a path over her collarbone, I tucked my finger beneath the strap of her dress. Her nipples were still erect and I ached to touch them, to draw one into my mouth and remind myself of what it used to be like. My body yearned for sweet release.

  Sarah’s breath hitched, her eyes hopeful as she jumped all over my cue and slipped the dress off her shoulders, gliding it down her body. I watched it curve over her hips before dropping to the floor. Her slender legs stepped out of the wet mess, and she stood before me in nothing but her white, see-through underwear and shiny pink heels.

  She looked thin, her skin stretched tight over her ribcage. I could make out each bone. My face buckled with concern, but my voice disappeared when she ran her soft touch up my chest until her arm was wrapped around my shoulders. She kissed my neck, and I felt myself fold. My arms snaked around her waist, slipping into the back of her panties and palming her tight little ass. She sighed against me, her tongue popping out to paint a line up to my earlobe. Her slender body pressed into mine, and the way her nipples pushed against the fabric of her bra had me standing to attention. She must have felt it, because her butt cheeks tightened as she tipped her hips to rub against me.

  “I love you, Justin,” she whispered before sucking my lobe and grinding into me again.