by Rina Kent
“Of course I am. Lucien isn’t a loser like the others. We talk a lot and he’s not intimidated by my brain.”
“That’s great, right?”
“Uh-huh. He wants to take me to France.”
“Why don’t you go? It’ll be so romantic.”
“What was I just saying? Romance doesn’t exist in real life, Babydoll. Anyway, I’ll think about it.” She faces me. “Now, tell me about you.”
“M-me?”
She smiles in a sly way. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way your features have brightened up lately.”
“T-they haven’t!” My cheeks are so heated, they’re about to explode.
“Oh yes, they have.” She narrows her eyes. “It’s not even Jonathan’s son, is it? My daughter is a man slayer.”
“Mum!”
“What? You’re with two men at the same time and you get to choose which one is best. As long as you end up marrying Aiden, all is good.”
I swallow at that. Not only is Aiden so caught up in Elsa that he’s physically unable to see anyone but her, but there’s also no way I’d marry him.
The sole reason I’m still keeping up with the engagement is because of the camouflage and Papa’s campaign.
“Don’t let it consume you.” Mum strokes my hair off my forehead. “You’re the only one who’ll suffer.”
I abandon the cup on the table, wrap my arms around her waist, and hide my face against her chest. “What if it’s too late, Mum?”
“Oh, Babydoll.” She places the mug on the table and hugs me. “Why did you have to repeat my mistakes?”
I’m not repeating her mistakes.
I’m going one step further.
I’m making it so much worse.
Mum falls asleep on the sofa after drinking two glasses of wine. I cover her with a blanket and take away Papa’s campaign plan from between her fingers.
It’s the same one he presented to the party today — the one she criticised harshly. She said it can be better.
I kiss her on the temple and then clean the dishes before retreating to my room in Mum’s flat.
She decorated everything to make it like the one I have back home. Only, this one doesn’t have a balcony from which ‘someone’ can sneak in.
Pulling out one of my oversized T-shirts, I put it on and go commando. In the past, I used to wear knickers, but since Cole has become a constant part of my nights, I’ve developed the habit of wearing nothing underneath.
It’s…liberating.
I retrieve my phone and scroll through Instagram. Elites lost today because Xander and Aiden were too distracted.
Ronan posted a selfie with the other three horsemen a few hours ago — right before the game started. Cole stands in the back as Xander clutches him and Aiden by the shoulders.
He’s not smiling or scowling. It’s his default face. I zoom in on him and my heart does that same little flutter that happens whenever I look at him.
My fingers trail to my necklace and I close my eyes for a brief second, imagining him coming through the non-existent balcony and jumping me on the bed.
Is it healthy that I miss him when I just saw him this morning?
My phone pings and I startle, my eyes flying open.
If my heart could spill to the ground, it would right about now.
A text from Cole. It’s almost as if he’s telepathic and knows exactly when I’m thinking about him.
Cole: I’m in your room. You aren’t.
My breathing hitches as I type.
Silver: What are you doing in my room?
Cole: What I do every night, Butterfly. Getting my dose of you.
An involuntary smile grazes my lips.
Silver: But I’m not there.
Cole: Your sheets are. Your smell is. Even your underwear drawer.
Silver: Don’t you dare look in there!
Cole: Already did. Do you honestly think there’s something of yours that I haven’t already looked through?
Silver: You’re such a pervert.
Cole: Admit it, you’re turned on thinking about me lying naked in your bed as I jerk one off to you.
I wasn’t, but now I am.
I can’t get the image of Cole touching himself on my bed out of my head. My nipples strain against my T-shirt and I readjust it, only for them to ache more.
Still, I type the lie.
Silver: I’m not.
Cole: How come I don’t believe you?
Silver: I don’t care what you believe.
I type with shaky fingers as my other hand disappears between my legs and I let my head fall back against the pillow.
My fingers circle my clit and I muffle my moan with my teeth as I slip two digits inside me, pretending it’s him sneaking into my room again.
Cole: You know what I think, Butterfly? I think you’re wet and you’re aching to touch yourself. That is, if you aren’t already. You’ll imagine it’s me like you did in the shower. You’ll think of your fingers as my cock and you’ll thrust hard and deep, wishing it was me.
My moans echo in the air as I let the phone fall to the side and pinch my nipples under my T-shirt. The moment I run my fingers over the hickeys he left there, I come.
“C-Cole…” I moan his name in the silence of the room as a sigh falls from me.
I’m still panting as I grip my phone again.
Cole: Touch yourself all you like, but we both know it won’t be as satisfying as when I’m there.
The arrogant bastard. He’s right, though. It’s nothing, intensity-wise.
I hate it when he’s right.
Cole: Come back early tomorrow. I miss you, Butterfly.
I miss you, too.
I allow my brain that thought as I fall asleep, hugging the phone to my chest.
28
Silver
Nausea.
It’s the second day I wake up feeling it in the span of a week.
I felt it a few days ago when I was preparing the food with Helen before I went to Mum’s. Then yesterday, when Summer made me smell the new perfume her mum got her.
Today, too.
That’s when I had a look at my calendar. My period is two days late.
It shouldn’t be a big deal since I’ve always had a non-regular period.
Besides, I’ve been stressed about Papa’s campaign, Mum’s mental state, and keeping the whole thing I have with Cole a secret. I lose a few months of my life every day because of stressing out and even take tranquilisers.
That’s what I tell myself.
That’s what I keep chanting in my head during piano practice or even when I notice Adam too close to the girls’ restroom soon after I come out of it.
I tell myself I’m on the pill. I first started taking them to regulate my cycle. After I became sexually active, and with Cole not using a freaking condom, I took them religiously.
Not once have I missed a pill.
“Now, remember, the pill is ninety-nine per cent effective, and only if you don’t miss taking any.” My GP’s words have been playing in my head on a loop for days now.
Yesterday was the day I started freaking out.
Yesterday was the day I read horror stories from women who also trusted birth control pills and got pregnant.
So last night, I pretended to be asleep when Cole snuck into my room. It didn’t stop him from hugging me from behind, wrapping himself around me.
I couldn’t sleep.
All I could focus on was his hand on my stomach as he slept.
My stomach.
I’m not stupid. I know that I can’t pretend to be asleep every night. Not only will Cole see straight through me, but he’ll also confront me. He’ll pick up on my mood changes.
And then what?
What if this nausea and the need to throw up isn’t normal? What if the pill has failed me and I fail myself and my parents and everyone else?
That’s off the table.
I stay in my car across from the pha
rmacy, wearing my huge sunglasses and watching my surroundings as if expecting a reporter to jump me.
I can almost imagine the headlines:
‘Spotted: Sebastian Queens and Cynthia Davis’s Daughter at a Pharmacy, Buying a Pregnancy Test.’
‘Scandal: Sebastian Queens and Cynthia Davis’s Daughter is Pregnant Before Marriage. The Father is her Stepbrother.’
I nearly throw up at that thought.
No.
I drive out from in front of the pharmacy and head to school, listening to my playlist with the volume turned all the way up.
My nerves are on the verge of spilling to the ground by the time I finish my first class. Cole keeps watching me, and I know, I just know he’ll pick up on it.
I have to do something.
For the rest of the day, I bide my time practising the piano in the most distracted way possible while forming my plan.
I wait until the end of the football practice to make my first move. For the first time in ever, Elsa isn’t with Aiden. Ronan mentioned something about how she was going to meet them in Aiden’s house so they could watch the game together.
Perfect.
I’m at the car park, standing by Aiden’s Ferrari. As expected, he comes out first, his hair still damp and his messenger bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. He hasn’t even bothered with wearing the jacket.
He’s like that when it comes to Elsa. Since she’s meeting him at his house, he’s skipping unimportant steps so he can get to her faster.
He dismisses me with an impatient hand. “Get out of my way, Queens.”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
He pauses his dismissal game and narrows his eyes on me before he returns back to his poker face. “Congratulations. I’ll send gifts. I won’t offer babysitting services, though.”
“I’m not kidding.”
“And I honestly can’t give two fucks. You made this mess. Clean it up.”
“What mess?” Cole’s voice rips me out of the moment like doom.
“Make a sound when you approach, damn it.” I glare at him.
“Why?” He tilts his head to the side. God, I hate how good he looks fresh out of a shower, his wet chestnut strands falling over his forehead and his lips a bit redder. “You have a secret with King?”
I lift my chin. “Maybe I do.”
Aiden grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me into Cole’s embrace. “Here, your mess. You’re welcome.”
He gets into his car before staring the engine. I try to go after him, but a strong hand at my waist pins me in place.
Cole stands behind me, his front glued to my back and his hand wrapped around my middle. He whispers in low, frightening words against my ear, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I gulp, but my mouth is dry, so it doesn’t soothe the thing lodged in my throat. “We’re at school. Let me go.”
“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on with you? First, you pretend you’re asleep. Then, you don’t have breakfast with us. And now, you’re running after Aiden?”
He picked up on all of that.
Of course he did. Cole is perceptive to a fault. That’s why I need to get the hell out of this before he figures out the rest.
I have no idea how he’ll react, but I know whatever it is, I won’t like it.
So I need to take things into my own hands.
I force my voice into its most neutral tone. “I decided to announce my engagement with Aiden for publicity. Uncle Jonathan thinks it’s a great idea.”
He does. It’s always been one of the things he’s insisted on since the engagement started.
I wait for Cole’s reaction, brace myself for his wrath, but his calm response takes me by complete surprise. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
He’s still speaking against my ear and every word out of his mouth injects a shiver straight up my spine. “You’re not doing it for the publicity alone, so why don’t you cut the bollocks and tell me the real reason behind it.”
“You.” I whirl around to face him. “It’s so I can get rid of you.”
Hot scorching emotions whirl inside me and I feel like crying, like screaming.
Cole laughs. The sound is strong and hollow, making me stiffen.
“You’re so cute to think you can get rid of me.” He grips me harshly by the chin. “You should know already that the harder you push, the meaner I turn. The louder you say you hate me, the more ruthless I become about owning that hate. It doesn’t matter which game you play. You can even invent a new game, but I’ll learn it and still bring you to your knees in front of me. So tell me, Silver, do you honestly think you can ever win against me?”
No.
The answer is loud and clear in my head, but I also know I have to win this one.
I have to push Cole away.
“This time, I will.” I jut my chin in his hold. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up to my fiancé.”
His grip tightens until I wince, but I don’t push away or cut off eye contact.
For a second, we’re suspended in time, almost as if we’re the only people on the face of the earth. My skin prickles and goosebumps erupt on my arms. Something tells me it’s not because of the cold.
The moment ends abruptly when Cole releases me.
Wait. He’s letting me go?
“If you follow Aiden and play this game, you won’t like how I’ll react.”
Despite my tries not to be affected, tremors erupt on my skin at his softly-spoken words.
I know, without doubt, he’ll make good on his promise, and while my shoulder blades are pulling together with ominous feelings, I won’t give in.
I turn around and go to my car.
It doesn’t take me long to arrive at Aiden’s house.
It’s raining heavily by the time I park beside his Ferrari right after he comes out of it. I don’t bother with an umbrella as I block his way to the entrance.
The King mansion has always felt a bit gothic. It could be because of the sad angel statues pouring water in the fountain. They gave me weird sensations when I was a child.
Ronan, Xander, and Cole pass us on their way inside.
The latter doesn’t even spare me a glance. He already issued his threat. Now he’ll wait to see how I act before he reacts.
He’s so calculating, it drives me freaking insane.
Aiden tries to push me towards him again, but Cole tells him to clean up his own mess, then follows Ronan and Xander into the house.
“In case you didn’t realise, this is called stalking.” Aiden places a hand in his wet trousers’ pocket.
“As if you’d know anything about stalking.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I curse myself for letting that slip in front of Aiden. Here’s to hoping he says nothing to Cole, because I really have no state of mind to deal with all of this nonsense right now.
Folding my arms over my chest, I pin him with a stare. “I wasn’t done talking in the car park.”
“Well, I was.” He turns to leave.
“I’ll tell Elsa the baby is yours.”
Aiden stops and whirls around, his left eye twitching.
I’ve got him.
That’s the only reaction Aiden hasn’t been able to school over the years. It means he’s pissed off and will be out to destroy lives.
A risk I’m willing to take.
“It’s not,” he says.
“She doesn’t know that.”
“The DNA test will prove it isn’t.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“You really believe someone like Elsa will wait until the DNA test comes out? She doesn’t trust you as it is and will leave you in a heartbeat the moment I plant the idea that you’re my baby’s father in her head.”
Silence.
I’ve got him again. Someone like Aiden, who’s never allowed himself a weakness, now has one.
&n
bsp; It’s not like I’ll hurt him in any way. He has the complete ability to help me, but because he’s a psycho, he won’t do it unless I have something that benefits him. Or, in this case, doesn’t ruin him.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asks.
“Don’t break it off with me, and if any of this gets out, you’ll announce you’re the father.”
“That would be a no. I’m not taking responsibility for Nash’s bastard.”
“Hey! Say that again and I’ll kill you.”
“Sorry, Mama Bear,” he mocks. “But that negates the whole point of this deal. Remember Elsa?”
“I’m saying, just in case. I’ll find a solution.”
He tilts his head. “I can search for underground clinics and poof. Gone. No one will know the future prime minister’s daughter aborted.”
I place a protective hand over my stomach, my lips trembling.
That…that would make me a killer.
“We’ll go with my plan.” I stand my ground.
“I’ll only agree to not breaking the engagement off. For now. Everything else is a no.”
“Aiden!”
“Silver.” He smiles.
“I’ll tell Elsa.”
“And leave yourself with no options?”
“If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.”
“If you speak to Elsa, I’ll speak to Nash. Believe me, you can’t win against me on this. Ruin me and I’ll ruin you back.”
“Remember our deal back then?”
“What deal?”
“You said you’d fix it.” I stomp. “You promised, King.”
“I promised you fuck all.”
“But you said —”
“I said nothing. You assumed everything yourself. The game was fun while it lasted, but I’m not playing anymore.”
“You’re not playing?” I huff. “So when it’s to your benefit, you’re all in, but when it’s not, you just drop out?”
“Exactly. Smarten up, Queens. All of what you’re doing is a temporary solution.”
“That’s none of your fucking business.” I grind my teeth. “I knew you’d change your mind because of that little bitch.”
He pushes into me and I step back so I’m glued against my car. “Watch it. If you call her that one more time, I won’t let you be, Queens.”
