by Jade Kuzma
I looked at the pregnancy test. It felt like I was in some dream.
There was a knock at the door and I quickly stuffed it into my drawer.
“Come in,” I said.
My father opened the door and walked over to us.
“Dr. Walters… How is my little girl doing?”
“Miss Palazzo is doing just fine. She’s just experiencing a little bit of fatigue. Maybe some stress.”
“I think I know what it is…”
My father looked at me and smiled softly.
“…Some cold feet. She’ll be wed in a week.”
“Ah, yes,” Dr. Walters said. “Weddings and marriages often cause people a lot of anxiety. I’m sure she’ll be just fine once she gets through it.”
“Is there anything else you can do for her?”
“No,” Dr. Walters said as he looked at me. “Just plenty of fluids and plenty of rest.”
The doctor winked at me and I smiled back in response.
“Thank you, doctor,” my father said.
Dr. Walters excused himself and left me alone with my father. The door clicked closed and my father took the place where the doctor was sitting.
“You almost had me worried there for a second,” he said.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about. It’ll take more than a little bit of stress to get rid of me. You know that.”
“I know. If there’s anything you need, you let me know.”
“I’m fine…”
“It’s a shame your fiancé isn’t around very much. You two should be getting to know one another before the wedding.”
“He has business,” I said. “It’s all right.”
“Yes, it’s always like that at the start…”
My father stared off into the distance like something was on his mind.
“…When I was younger, I was always busy. Your mother was understanding. Even though we wanted to spend more time with each other, we also knew that there was business that had to be taken care of. When things started to settle down, I eventually got the chance to finally spend as much time as I could with her. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you and Burke.”
“Don’t you ever wish that you could’ve spent more time with mom? Now that she’s gone, do you ever regret not being with her as much as you could?”
My father kept staring off into the distance. He wasn’t moving. He was so still that I could barely tell he was even breathing.
“I think about your mother every day. If I could go back, I would’ve spent every second I could. But I tell myself it’s okay because all of this was for her…”
He slowly turned toward me. A soft smile formed on his lips.
“…And now all of this is for you.”
“I…”
“What is it? You can tell me.”
“I’ve been a little stressed out lately. I think I need to relax a bit and have some time alone.”
“Of course. Anything you want. Do you want to go on a vacation? You can delay the wedding for a few weeks if you need to. You can go anywhere in the world.”
“I don’t need to go anywhere in the world. I just… I’d like to go back to Ivory.”
“Ivory?”
He scrunched his face in confusion. I couldn’t help but giggle even though his tone was questioning.
“Why would you want to go back to Ivory?”
“I only got a chance to spend four days there. It’s a small town but there’s so much more to explore. I think it would satisfy my curiosity just to see the rest of it. I’m sure that I’ll find what I’m looking for there. That’ll take care of the stress I’m feeling.”
“…Perhaps Burke was right and there is something in the water down there.”
His face softened with a big smile.
“All right,” he said. “If you feel the need to go to Ivory, then go to Ivory.”
“I have your support?”
“You never needed my support to do something like that.”
I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. I imagined he was confused that I was so grateful for his blessing. But it meant everything to me to know that it was still possible… that he was still possible.
I couldn’t message Roman. I couldn’t call him. I had to tell him to his face.
Knowing that I would get to see him again, the anticipation I felt was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
Chapter 19
ROMAN
Ivory was in the middle of the desert, so living out here, you got used to the heat. Summertime just meant there weren’t any clouds to shade you from the bright rays.
I wiped away the sweat from my brow to clear my vision. The rest of me was just as soaked but I didn’t care. I was always focused when I was working on my ride.
“You look like you could use a towel. Maybe a glass of water. Why don’t you take a break?”
“I am taking a break.”
I sighed a deep breath, not paying too much attention to the old man pestering me.
“Kids these days. You think you’re invincible. You keep going and going and going and going. All you do is wear yourself out. Blistering hot sun and you’re out in the middle of it just soaking it all in.”
“It’s not that hot. I’ve got my shirt off.”
“Of course you do. You know, back in my day, I used to be in the same shape you were in.”
The old man kept rambling. I couldn’t help but chuckle at him as I kept working.
“Time will catch up to you eventually, Rock. You just wait and see.”
“Yeah, well, that just means I better enjoy it while I still got it.”
I straightened up and finally turned to him.
Murph sat underneath the shade off to the side of the garage. He watched as all of the cars drove by. It was just another peaceful summer day in Ivory. While the old man came here to ramble like he always did, I took the time to tune-up my ride and make sure that the shit was running as smooth as always.
“Where’s Seabass?” I said.
“You know him. Always out there scheming, looking for another way to make another buck or two.”
“You taught him well.”
Murph smirked at me. His face was weathered with age but there was still a youthful exuberance in his eyes. I knew he’d experienced a lot. Anybody could tell just from looking at him.
“Why are you here?” I said as I turned back to my bike.
“I thought I’d talk to you.”
“I’m not interested.”
“You haven’t even heard what I’m gonna say.”
“I know what you’re gonna say. What else is there to say? You and Seabass want me to do my part to bring back Hades. You don’t need me.”
“It’d be nice if you were around.”
“I don’t think so. You wouldn’t want someone like me around.”
“What else are you gonna do? You just gonna work on your bike every day?”
“The thought had crossed my mind.”
“Burke gave you a lot of money but it won’t last forever.”
“I can stretch it out. Maybe I’ll rent out a space in this garage. Work on cars and bikes. I can make a decent living doing that.”
“You’d be just another greasemonkey in Ivory. Any man who has a bike already knows his ride inside and out.”
“People have cars, too. A good mechanic is priceless.”
There was nothing the old bastard could tell me to make me see things from his point of view. I enjoyed his company all the same. We wore the same patch at one point. We would always share that, no matter what happened.
“You ever been locked up?” I asked.
“You already know the answer to that,” he responded.
“Then you should already know what it’s like. Getting told what to do. Getting told where you can go. Getting told how you’re supposed to spend your time. I had to be told to go to fuckin’ sleep like I was a damn child.”
“That’s the price we pay for the mista
kes we make.”
“I paid the price they told me to pay. This…”
I stood up straight and held my hands out.
“…This is enough. Just being able to open my arms and breathe in the air. Just knowing I could get on my bike and ride down the road and nobody will stop me.”
“Freedom. I can’t argue with that. But, I have to say. There are times when your freedom is more enjoyable when you’ve got someone else by your side to enjoy it with.”
I stared at the old man and thought about how I spent the last few weeks. I was by myself, alone with my thoughts. Knowing where I came from, I wasn’t about to let him get me down.
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “I just know that I’m enjoying the freedom I got now.”
“You make it sound like the patch was weighing you down. You regret being a Devil, Rock?”
“I don’t regret being a Devil,” I said without hesitating. “But there were times when I didn’t feel good wearing it.”
“It’s a shame what happened. Tommy. Frankie. Phil. Losing those guys like that. You’d think the Devils were cursed.”
“What about you? What about the first five? You ever regret how things turned out with them?”
Murph was an original founder. The old man was there since the beginning.
I looked into his eyes as he stared off into the distance. It was as if he was being transported to that time all those years ago.
“Things were so different in Ivory back then,” he said. “It was like being on another planet. The amount of lawlessness was rampant.”
“Just like the old west.”
“It wasn’t that long ago.”
He glared at me and I chuckled in response.
“You still think about ‘em?” I asked.
“Harper… Woods… AP… Black… Yeah, I still think about ‘em. You don’t go through all of the shit we did and forget about them so easily. But if you’re asking me if I regret how things went down and how it ended…”
Murph shook his head.
“Everything that our MC went through happened for a reason. Shit was tough. But I wouldn’t change a thing. What the first five did paved the way for the future. You and Cain are the future, Rock.”
It was hard to look at Murph and disagree with him. The motherfucker was always watching over us. But the old man knew what I was gonna say before I even said it.
“Being a Devil is a curse,” he said. “It was that way ever since the beginning.”
“That’s not convincing me to put the patch back on…”
“You live with it though. Regardless of what happens, you stick it out. Life is Hell before you get to Heaven.”
Murph got up from his seat.
“You keep thinking about it, Rock. There’s no need for you to make a decision right now. But we’ll need a final answer soon.”
He walked over to me and looked me up and down. Even though he was so old, he was still tall enough to look me right in the eye. The bastard would’ve puffed his chest out proudly ‘til the day he died.
“You and I both know that once you’re a Devil, you’re always a Devil.”
He walked over to his bike and revved the engine. It was strange to see an old man dressed the way he was, in an obnoxious suit, riding a chopper. I watched him ride off into the distance and disappear down the road, thinking about all the shit that he just said to me.
“Motherfucker…”
Murph just had to gimme more shit to think about and distract me with. I worked on my bike but it was so quiet and peaceful, my mind started to wander. Getting lost in my ride was the most enjoyable kind of freedom I had in my life.
While I worked on my bike, I listened to the sound of a car pulling up next to the garage. I didn’t pay much attention to it. Figured it was some asshole that was looking for one of the mechanics next door.
Footsteps grew louder in my ear. I kept my head down but from the corner of my eye, I could see someone standing there. I ignored them before I finally realized they weren’t moving.
I sighed a deep breath and straightened up to see who it was.
What?
It was her.
Mia.
A short black skirt. A white top. Her makeup done just perfectly as it always was. Dark hair cascading down the sides of her face. That impish little smirk on her lips. Those damn deep brown eyes staring a hole through me.
She looked like an angel standing underneath the bright Ivory sun. It was like something out of a fucking dream.
I’m dreaming…
I didn’t wanna believe it. I didn’t wanna think that she was right here in front of me. I spent all this time trying to forget about her. I would need the rest of my life to stop thinking about her. And now my mind was playing tricks on me, telling me that she was back in Ivory.
I shook my head, trying to wake myself up from the dream I was in.
“Hi.”
She slowly walked toward me, the smile growing on her lips.
“It’s you?” I said. “It’s really you.”
“It’s me…”
She moved so close that I could smell her. I closed my eyes and she touched the side of my face. Her fingers were so delicate… I opened my eyes and she was still there.
She really was here.
I reached out and wrapped my arms around her. Despite all of the sweat and grease on me, I didn’t care. She didn’t care either. She laughed, her body shaking against mine.
“I missed you,” she whispered. “I missed you so much.”
I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, still in disbelief.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? You didn’t call or text—”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. I… I didn’t want anybody to know.”
“How did you—”
“Sebastian. Arthur gave me his number when we were here the last time, in case anything happened. I told your friend to keep it a secret. I… I don’t want anybody to know that I’m here.”
“Nobody knows?”
“Only my father. He told me it was all right.”
“That’s good! That means—”
“No,” she said.
The smile disappeared from her face. Seeing her frown was like watching a dream shatter right before my eyes.
“I told my father I was stressed out. The wedding is coming up and it’s getting to me. He thinks I’m here on a vacation. He expects me to go back home.”
“Then things haven’t changed.”
“Not in the way you’re probably hoping,” she said, shaking her head.
Shit.
The woman I’d been trying to forget about was back in Ivory. And here I am, still not in a better mood because something was wrong.
“Where is he?” I said. “Burke…”
“He’s busy. He’s always busy. With the deal he made in Ivory, he’s constantly monitoring it. There are so many moving parts and he’s at the head of it. He doesn’t know I’m here.”
“It’s not safe for you, Mia.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
I turned away from her and put my hands on my hips.
“You have to go back,” I said. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Roman—”
“Mia, please.”
I had to do my best to hold back my frustration.
“I can only do so much,” I said. “It’s your decision to make. It’s always been your decision. I can’t make it for you. If you still plan on marrying Burke, then there’s no reason for you to be here.”
“That’s just it. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Wait… Are you not gonna marry Burke?”
She hesitated for a moment. There was a look of doubt in her eyes but I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
“I don’t know,” she said as she shook her head. “I… I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I came here because I had to tell you something.”
<
br /> “What is it?”
I rushed up to her but she put a hand on my chest.
“Not here,” she said. “You’re right. It’s not safe. Not with me being who I am and nobody knowing that I’m here. I’ll text you tonight. Meet me there. We’ll… We’ll talk then.”
“Why can’t you just tell me now?”
She backed away from me and shook her head.
“Please,” she said. “Just wait for me.”
I swallowed then nodded to her.
“You know I’ll wait forever for you.”
She smiled softly. She was the daughter of someone powerful and engaged to a man who was just as dangerous. Yet she seemed so small and fragile. Just an innocent woman caught in the middle of everything she had no control over.
She got into a cab and drove away. She hadn’t been gone for a second but I already missed her.
There had to be a reason she wasn’t telling me what she had to say. I convinced myself that this was for the best. If this was as serious as it seemed, Mia was in danger. I had to do everything I could to protect her. Nothing would stop me from doing just that when I saw her again tonight.
Chapter 20
MIA
I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be in Ivory. A part of me wished that I could just stay here forever. Everything was still up in the air though, so I couldn’t make any final decisions. For now, I just had to enjoy the fact that I was able to be with Roman again, even if it was for only a moment.
I found a small bar in Old Town. There were so many places that it was easy to get lost in. I had to make sure that I could speak to Roman without being interrupted by anybody else.
I sat at the counter with my head down, trying not to draw any attention to myself even though the few patrons that were here seemed to be minding their own business. I gripped my phone tight in my hand and waited for Roman to respond to me. He sent me a message telling me he was on his way.
When the entrance to the bar opened up and Roman walked in, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming relief. It was funny in a way that I found comfort in a man as intimidating as Roman looked.
He walked right up to me and leaned up against the bar next to me.
“It’s really you,” he said.
I remembered that he’d said it earlier in the day and giggled to myself.
