She wanted to protest that her feelings about Cody were none of his business, but something in the sadness she saw in his eyes struck her to the core. She thought about his years enduring the loss of his freedom, yet he had come through with a pretty amazing attitude about life. Then she compared it to the anger and resentment she had harbored against Cody.
For the first time, she thought she glimpsed the damage it could inflict on her soul.
“Consider what would hurt more, Janie. Letting go of your anger, or letting it fester.”
With that, he dismounted and led Roo around the corner and into the barn.
Lost in thought, she followed.
⋘⋆⋙
When they finished unsaddling the horses and brushing them down, Janie turned to Tim, unsure of what to do next. He looked just as conflicted, and she realized neither of them had much experience with this...whatever it was. Before, they had been like friends and co-workers. Now there was this agreement to pursue a relationship, but she didn’t know what that was supposed to look like.
In school, she and Cody had just always been together, and since Kylie came, she hadn’t taken the risk of dating very often. The last time she tried it, she ended up drunk and in Ben Preston’s bed, a guy who claimed he had a crush on her for years.
She had little to no memories of the night, but was pretty sure they hadn’t had sex—she didn’t feel like she’d had sex. However, Ben had spread the rumor around town that she was a wild sex fiend after drinking tequila, and she had endured months of small town censure and speculation. Not to mention various men asking to take her out for drinks.
Before either of them could say or do anything, Janie heard her mother calling to her from the porch of the house. “Be right there,” she responded, and turned back to Tim. “Want to plan on another riding lesson tomorrow?”
“Sure,” he said. “After chores?”
“Since Roo is better, I can’t really call it work anymore, so it will have to be after the clinic closes. Check with Deke to make sure you’ll be free around six, and I’ll see you then, okay?”
“Can’t wait,” he said, briefly hooking her forefinger with his before letting go.
She smiled and turned to jog across the yard to where Momma waited on the porch. “What’s up, Momma?” she said, giving her a hug.
“Kylie called. She’s all worked up. She said she’s been calling you, but it keeps going straight to voicemail. I told her your truck was here and you were out riding, so she knows you’re okay, but she asked to have you call her before you leave.”
“Thanks, Momma. May I use your phone?”
“Of course, dear,” she said, waving a hand at the wall unit near the kitchen before she headed around the side of the house toward her garden.
Janie dialed Kylie’s number. Her daughter answered on the first ring. “Gramma?”
“It’s me,” Janie said. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? That’s all you have to say? You drive off upset in the middle of dinner, then I hear you got drunk at the Wild Horse and left with some guy, and you don’t answer your phone—”
“Easy, Kylie,” Janie broke in, knowing she needed to derail her worried rant. “I’m fine. Sorry I didn’t check in with you. I broke my phone last night, and I had something important to do this morning.”
“Gramma said you were out riding. You call that more important than letting me know you’re okay?”
“Kylie! Take it easy. I know you’ve been worried, but I’m fine. And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Kylie was silent for a moment, and Janie wondered if this was how her brothers felt when she fussed over them. No wonder they squirmed so much. It was definitely an uncomfortable feeling.
“So...who was the guy?” Kylie asked at last.
“One of the hands out here,” Janie answered. “Mitzi’s brother, actually. He saved me from my drunk self last night and brought me out to Uncle Blue’s house.”
“Oh. Why were you drinking? Was it because of what Dad told you?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh.” Kylie was silent for a moment. Janie heard the back door open, Mitzi’s and Momma’s voices coming through to the kitchen.
“Listen, your dad gave me a lot to think about, and I decided I didn’t want to deal with it last night. But I’m thinking about it now, okay? I’m done running.” As she said the words, she realized it was true. “I’ll see you at home tonight, and we can talk, okay?”
“Okay. Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, sweetie.”
As she hung up, she picked up on what Mitzi and Momma were talking about.
“It’s not like you have to have kids,” Momma said. “Not right away. Not ever, if you don’t want to. Colt and I didn’t have Trip until we’d been married for over five years. Colt had so much to deal with between coming home from the war and getting the ranch certified organic. Not to mention dealing with my wild hippie ways.”
“But don’t you want more grandkids, Maddy?” Mitzi asked, glancing over at Janie.
“Of course, but only if you want them. I’ve already gotten to spoil Kylie, and I’m sure once Trip gets over his broken heart, he’ll get around to finding a wife and having kids.”
Janie decided to chime in. “Trip will have to actually set foot off this land if he hopes to find a wife.”
Momma laughed. “True. That boy spends way too much time working.”
“But Blue says he really wants kids. How can I deny him?”
Momma put her hands on Mitzi’s shoulders. “Blue loves you. You two are talking about it, so I don’t doubt you’ll come to some kind of resolution. Even if you decide you can’t bear the thought of bringing kids into this world, he’ll stand by you. He doesn’t have it in him to hold a grudge against you for following your heart. Just be honest and true to yourself, and know that the Thomas family will stand by you, regardless of your decision. We’ve all come to love you as much as Blue does, you know.”
Janie saw tears shining in her sister-in-law’s eyes, and she knew how much that meant to her.
“I know it can be a messed up world,” Janie said. “Kids can get into so much trouble. Tim told me about his past, and I can hardly imagine what it was like watching him as you grew up. But I do know this. Syracuse has to be one of the best places for raising a kid. Momma and Daddy helped me so much with Kylie, and the kinds of trouble a kid can get into out here are child’s play compared to the city. People pay attention out here. People care. The whole ‘it takes a village’ concept is taken very seriously.”
“Thanks,” Mitzi said. “That’s heartening to hear.” She glanced over at Momma, then back at Janie. “Did you want to talk about Tim at all?”
Momma laughed and turned toward the back door. “I know when I’m not wanted,” she said. “I’ll just go back to my vegetables. There’s no drama to be found out there.”
“I didn’t offend her, did I?” Mitzi asked, looking confused.
“Not at all,” Janie assured her. “She’s one of those rare women who really has no use for idle talk and gossip. She only cares about what’s happening in the moment, and anything that happened in the past doesn’t play into how she deals with today. She really was a hippie, you know. Attended college in San Francisco and hung out in Haight-Ashbury. Even protested the war, which went over real well when she came home, as you can imagine. I mean, Daddy served in Vietnam.”
“I didn’t know that,” Mitzi said. “It’s cool that they were able to work it out.”
“Yeah, I know. Turns out her ‘wild hippie ways,’ as she calls it, really helped him get his PTSD under control.”
They both paused. Janie didn’t know about Mitzi, but she wondered if she would ever find love strong enough to withstand a challenge like that.
After a moment, Mitzi changed the subject back to Tim. “Did you have any questions about what Tim told you?”
Janie got the sense Mitzi really wanted to know if Tim ha
d lied to her about his past, and while she was pretty sure he’d been telling the truth, she decided running it by his sister wouldn’t be out of line.
“Well, here’s the condensed version of what he told me....”
Chapter Nineteen
Wednesday morning, Tim woke up to see the sun shining on high, fluffy clouds scattered in a blue sky. It was a welcome change from the persistent, drenching rain they’d had for the last two days. As he worked on Monday and Tuesday, everything he wore had gotten soaked and muddy. The ranch didn’t stop work just because of rain. It only meant more work brushing mud out of horses’ coats, and wiping down and oiling saddles that had gotten wet during the day.
But today promised fine weather for opening night of the Tri-County Fair. He and the other hands had been given the afternoon off to have a little fun and see the concert, which meant Tim would get to see Janie again. It would be the first chance since Sunday and their little talk. The rain had kept her in town, and he had to take a literal rain check on her riding lessons.
He’d felt like a teenager when Deke called him to the phone in the chow hall, and even though she’d told him the weather was keeping her from coming out, just hearing her voice had brought a grin to his face.
And like kids, they had only spoken a few words during their ten minute call.
He was excited to see her again, to say the least. Against his better judgment, he’d been daydreaming about seeing her and thinking up first kiss scenarios. Now that his secrets were out and she was open to pursuing something a little more than friendship with him, he found himself anticipating the touch of her lips, losing himself in her sweetness, driving his fingers into her silky hair again. It was....
“Wake up, Reardon!” Deke said as he passed him on the way to the chow hall, startling him out of his thoughts. “We still gotta get chores done before I can cut y’all loose today, and with Kenny on suspension, there’s plenty to do.”
Blue and Trip had suspended Kenny over the whole tequila thing, and he felt a twinge of guilt for his part in his co-worker getting in trouble. But the twinge was tempered with the sure knowledge that Kenny would have taken advantage of Janie had he not been there to take her away. And he didn’t regret that.
But Deke was right. Jax had been tapped to take over Kenny’s duties, and that meant the barn chores were left to him to complete since Jeff was out wrangling the horses meant to go to the fair. He hurried after Deke to get started with the day so he could get to the evening faster.
⋘⋆⋙
Angelisa pulled the curtain back a crack and looked out over the motel’s parking lot. It was still early, but these crazy locals were already out and about. More guests had checked into the motel every night, and she was glad they had planned to arrive as early as they did. They would not have enjoyed camping in their car, like some people were doing in the field across the street, the one adjacent to the fairgrounds.
Not for the first time, she wondered what on earth Tim thought he was doing out here in this flat, brown land that reminded her of Afghanistan and its impoverished desolation. The man she’d taken as a lover so many years ago had been as much a city boy as she was a city girl, and she had a hard time envisioning him enjoying himself out here. He must surely be going mad by now. Perhaps it wouldn’t take much persuasion to entice him back to the real world to take up where he left off...as her lover and employee.
A vision of the blonde he’d been dancing with at the bar reminded her that he may not be all that miserable here, and she might have to pull out the big guns to bring him home. That, or leave his corpse here. As far as she was concerned, those were the only two options.
She lifted her gaze from the parking lot below to look out over the fairgrounds, seeing increasing activity over there. Soon she would wander over and get the lay of the land so she and her crew would know what to expect when the concert started. It was only a matter of hours. This afternoon, she would have Tim Reardon at her mercy.
⋘⋆⋙
As he and the other hands piled out of the ranch’s SUVs at the fairgrounds, Deke handed Tim an envelope.
“What’s this?” Tim asked, surprised at the thickness of it.
“Payday, son. Mitzi said she already took what you owed her out of it. I know you don’t have a bank account yet, so I took the liberty of getting cash for you. Don’t spend it all in one place.” Deke slapped him on the shoulder. “I see someone is looking for you,” he added, pointing at the entrance where Janie stood.
She looked like an angel in cowboy boots, tight stone-washed blue jeans, and a white button-down, western-style shirt. She tucked strands of her hair behind her ears and tugged on the brim of the cowboy hat perched on her head as she rocked up on her toes, searching the crowd.
“Thanks,” he said absently. Deke moved off through the crowd, leaving Tim holding his first pay earned from honest work as a free man. It was a heady moment. Without opening the envelope, he moved to join Janie, wanting to share the moment with someone.
“Hey,” she said, catching sight of him. She looked like she wanted to hug him but stopped herself, bouncing a little with aborted momentum. The shy smile she gave him expressed the same uncertainty he felt. After tonight, they’d hopefully have a better idea of how to act with each other.
“Hey,” he said back, holding out his free hand to take hers, settling on holding hands. “Look at this.” He lifted the envelope. “I got my first pay.”
Something in his voice must have conveyed his full meaning because she squeezed his hand. “Your first ever?”
He pulled her closer so his voice wouldn’t carry. “First ever honest wages as a free man, yes. I hardly know what to do.”
“Well, you can start by treating me to the fair,” she said with a sly smile and a wink. “After all, were you planning to have me pay for everything?”
“Honestly, I hadn’t really given it a thought.” He smiled. “I’m afraid I haven’t had to think much about money for a while.”
“How much did you get?” she asked. “I need to know if I have to be a cheap date or not.”
“Oh, I see how you are!” he said with a laugh. “Taking advantage of a poor working stiff.” He opened the envelope and thumbed through the twenties inside.
“Two hundred forty,” he said. “This is going to sound bad, but I didn’t even ask what my wages were going to be. I was just so happy and grateful to have a job. I owed Mitzi some money for bus fare out here and my work clothes, and this is what’s left.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting any money this soon, not after accounting for room and board.”
“The Lazy J pays pretty well so they can keep their hands loyal,” Janie said. “There are too many feed lots and farms out here that would be happy to steal away good workers if they got disgruntled about the pay.”
“Really? I think I’d be happy with just room and board. The food out here is so fantastic, and the people are great to work for.”
Janie smiled and pulled a twenty dollar bill out of the envelope. “This will cover the gate. Put the rest away for now. I have an idea of one place you can spend a little of it.” She tugged on his hand and led him toward the entry gate.
Inside, Tim was struck by the carnival atmosphere and the throngs of people. The smell of cotton candy, barbeque, potato planks, and chili hit him and made him realize it had been decades since he’d gone to any kind of fair. There had only been the one time when he was eight. It had been fun until his mom got drunk, made a scene, and got them all thrown out.
“Kylie was going to come,” Janie said, looping her arm through his, “but her boss asked her to work tonight. She’s not too upset. She’s more of a Katy Perry fan.”
“So that’s why Jax puts that crap on when he works in the barn.”
“Oh, so you noticed, did you?”
“Yeah, he’s crushing hard. I probably know as much about Kylie as Jax does. He talks about her constantly.”
“They’ve known each other all their live
s, but she won’t see his crush. I asked her about it once. She claimed they were just friends, and she couldn’t get past thinking of him as the boy she’d gotten into horse apple fights with in the barn. The poor kid.”
Tim agreed that an unrequited crush was hard on the boy, but he didn’t want to dwell on the kid’s love life.
“So, where to first?” he asked, gazing around.
“There’s a vendor over here I want you to see.” She pulled on his arm and dove into the crowd of people, making a straight line for something in particular. Before too long, he saw booths filled with things to buy. Everything from dresses to belts to cowboy hats. Sure enough, Janie brought him to a stop in front of the hat vendor and started looking between him and the various hats as though sizing him up for one.
“Really?” he said. “A hat?”
“Seriously. Come high summer, you’ll want something to keep the sun off your face and neck, and out of your eyes. You’ve tanned up nicely, but anyone will tell you that too much sun is harmful for your skin. Right, Andy?” The question was directed at the old guy sitting on a folding chair in a corner of the booth.
“That’s right, Miss Janie,” the vendor said with a smile, starting to get up.
“Don’t trouble yourself, Andy. I’ll help Tim here pick out a perfect hat.”
The elderly man sighed as he eased himself back in the chair. “You do that, Miss Janie. But I think you ought to look at the black Stetsons.”
Janie turned a critical eye on Tim, as if seeing him for the first time. “You know, I think you’re right.”
Tim caught sight of a price tag and balked. Janie saw his expression and leaned in close. “Don’t worry. Those prices are simply a jumping off point. I can guarantee I’ll get him down to a very reasonable price. Besides…,” she raised her voice, “a good hat is critical to having a good day. You’ll have less eyestrain, and no more sunburned neck and nose. And it will help your head stay cool.”
Last Second Chance (A Thomas Family Novel Book 2) Page 14
