by J. L. Leslie
I stare over at the empty ice cream carton and decide I should probably move from this spot at some point. The sun went down hours ago.
I push myself up, groaning as I do, and grab the garbage littering my coffee table. When I drop it into the garbage can, I hear a light tapping on my door.
Unsure why someone would be here, I grab a frying pan from my dish strainer, then tiptoe over to peek through my peephole. My grip tightens on the handle of the pan until my knuckles turn white. My heart hammers in my chest and I swallow down the vomit that threatens to rise in my throat.
I slowly open the door, only enough to allow her inside. She looks different, but the same. If that makes any sense. The jeans and sweatshirt suit her the same way leather does.
“What are you doing here? How did you even get through the gate?”
“You should be grateful it’s me that was sent this time.” Spencer Ellis quips. This time? She looks at the frying pan I’m holding, and a smile plays at her lips. “Are you going to kill me with a frying pan or cook me dinner?”
I walk into the kitchen and put it on the counter, realizing a frying pan probably wouldn’t do that much damage to anyone. I should’ve grabbed the butcher knife in the drawer instead.
“Come on, Spencer, how did you find me?”
“I helped you leave, Katy. I’ve always known where you were,” she answers. I realize then that I’m relieved to see that she’s okay. That she didn’t suffer any consequences for helping me. If they knew she did, she would’ve been killed.
I wish she would have come with me back then. She could have started over too. If she could help me, she could’ve helped herself.
“I suppose the question I should be asking then, is why are you here?”
“I always liked you, Katy. Mack put you through hell, and you withstood as much as you were able to. I told you that you were stronger than you thought you were. I still believe that. This visit is my warning to you, for you and your family.”
“Why were you the one that was sent?”
“Our other guy hasn’t returned. Rival bikers in a town where there’s only one club stick out like a sore thumb. Ford knew I wouldn’t stick out.”
“Ford?”
“He’s our president. Katy, I can tell you that he’s different from Mack in a lot of ways. Some good, some bad. But he’s ready for retaliation for what happened to Mack, and he won’t stop until he gets it.”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I tell her, shaking my head. “The Sinners don’t trust a woman to do a man’s job. We both know that.”
She smiles, nodding. “They trust me. I’m Ford’s old lady.”
Chapter Eight
~Griffin~
Seeing Katy on my doorstep surprises me. It’s after ten, and after the way we left things this morning, I hadn’t expected to be talking to her anytime soon. When I approach her and ask what’s going on, she steps to me. By instinct, I fold my arms around her.
“Whatever it is, it’ll be okay,” I assure her.
She gazes up at me, her blue eyes filled with concern. Without hesitating, I close the gap between us. Her lips are soft, pliant. It takes her a moment to part them, then I slide my tongue into her mouth, tasting her.
I want her to know that regardless of what happened between her and Kane, I know she doesn’t want that lifestyle again. She has suffered long enough and fought to get away from it. Going back to it would be a huge mistake. I pour all of these feelings into this kiss.
I hold her against me, my hands gripping her hips in a way so that she’ll feel safe, but not bound. I don’t deepen the kiss to the point that she feels rushed, but where she knows she’s wanted. Damn it, I do want her.
Katy’s hands clasp the front of my shirt, rumpling it between her fingers. Yes. This is the kind of kiss she deserves. I’m the man she deserves.
I ease away from her, feeling her breath against my face. I take her hand and lead her inside my house so that I can find out why she came here to begin with and to finish what we’ve started on my porch.
The moment the door closes behind us, I gather her in my arms and press her back against it. I don’t want to move too quickly, but I want…no…I need her to know that I want this to happen. Six months. We’ve been dancing around this for six damn months. We both know I’m good for her.
I move down her neck, kissing over the straps of her tank-top, and pull one down until I expose the soft, cotton cups of her bra. I like how she doesn’t feel the need to be all satin or lace. She’s beautiful in her simplicity.
I tug the cup down and close my mouth over her nipple and her fingers thread through my blonde locks. She gives my hair a tug, and I suck harder, molding my hand over her other breast.
She whimpers, but then tells me to stop. I reluctantly drag my mouth from her, facing away so that I adjust my cock. I prop my hands on my counter and breathe out a deep sigh.
“I have to leave,” Katy tells me, her voice shaky.
I try not to show my frustration. I’ve given her space, and now that I’ve kissed her, she’s ready to leave. Why does it always seem like this woman is running away from me? Running fucking hot and cold.
“You could stay,” I offer, not looking at her.
It’s clear she catches my meaning because a nervous laugh escapes her mouth. “I mean, I have to leave Verdana,” she clarifies. “A friend warned me that the Sinners are coming, and the only way I know how to protect myself and my family is to leave.”
“What friend?” I ask, facing her with my brow furrowed.
“I can’t tell you. Just trust me, it’s a friend I can trust with the information.”
Of course, I want to know who it is. I want her to confide in me, but I won’t push. “I’m sorry you found out about the guy they sent, but he’s not a threat, Katy.”
She cocks her head to the side, her brows furrowed. “You knew they sent someone for me?”
Well, shit. This wasn’t necessarily the conversation I thought we would be having. Maybe I thought she was here to tell me she made a mistake with Kane. That the time we’ve spent together means more to her than just some one-night stand.
“I’ve been monitoring the Sinners for a while now. Since before I brought you here. I wouldn’t have come to get you had it not been safe to bring you to Verdana.”
“You don’t know these people, Griffin. They won’t just give up and let me walk away. I know things that I shouldn’t. I never spoke a word about Mack, but they don’t know that. Me leaving Verdana is what’s best for everyone. I thought you would understand that.”
“Do you really think they only want retaliation against you? Shit, Katy, Lincoln is who put Mack down. Your sister killed his stepbrother! We’ve all known they won’t let that go.”
I hear Katy gasp, and this conversation keeps getting worse and worse. Sully told me she and Katy talked about everything. That she told her why she was here and everything that happened. Apparently, that’s not the truth.
“Lincoln killed Mack? Sully? Sully said the FBI took Mack out. That…she said…wow. She lied to me. “
I reach for her, but she takes a step back. “I’m sure she didn’t tell you because she wanted to protect you.”
“Protect me?” she yells. “Protect me from what? And what’s your excuse? You’ve been keeping this from me! You’ve known they were looking for me, but you haven’t said a word! Were you protecting me as well?”
“You know that I am!”
“I don’t need to be protected, Griffin! I just need for people to tell me the damn truth!”
I nod, understanding her aggravation, but still believing that I made the right decision. If she knew the Sinners had already been in Verdana, she wouldn’t be able to live her life freely. She would constantly be worried, looking over her shoulder. I didn’t want that for her. I want her to live.
“I’m going to go home. I’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.”
“Do me a favor? Talk to Sully befo
re you make a decision. Let Dax know about this friend that came to you. As much as I hate to admit it, the Ravens can keep you safe.”
“I can do that,” she agrees. “Just please give me some time to think things through.”
“And I’ll drive you home. It’s late.”
I half expect her to decline my offer, but she accepts. I just hope she’ll take my advice and go to Sully tomorrow. Running is not the answer again.
Chapter Nine
~Kane~
I swish the basketball, nothing but fucking net. The prospect sitting on the sofa mumbles a curse. He doesn’t stand a chance. This is my fucking game.
“Kane! Meeting! Gather everyone!” Dax calls before heading into his office.
“Two more points!” I answer.
“Now, asshole!”
I dunk, just to be a prick, and end the game 21-16. I toss the controller onto the chair and point to the prospect. “Get everyone together, Bitchboy.”
“Rematch later,” he challenges.
It only takes about fifteen minutes to gather the members into the main room. Luka and Raiden come to stand beside me at the bar.
“What’d you do, Luka, fuck up a delivery?” I joke.
“What’d you do, fuck up a clean-up?” he counters.
We both know that doesn’t happen. Luka and I have been on several clean-ups together. I took him on his very first one, in fact. At the time, he had no idea that his old lady was the one who’d put the bullet in the man’s skull.
Raiden Daughtry is one of the Ravens best assets. She’s also one of our best-kept secrets. No one would suspect a pint-size nurse would be our number one shooter.
“What you know about it?” I ask Raiden, and she shrugs.
“Griffin said something was up.”
I roll my eyes at her answer then see Lincoln coming inside with Sully and Katy in tow. Katy looks like shit. Adorable still, but looks like she’s been through hell today. She’s dressed in a pair of shorts and a Tennessee hoodie. Her hair is up in one of those messy bun things girls do. I travel my gaze over her body and down to her feet. Flip-flops. Fucking flip-flops. Her lime-green toes have some kind of sparkle to them like there’s glitter on them or some shit.
I look up, and she’s blushing. Damn. She blushes from just a look.
“For some of you, this is your first meeting. You might be wondering why I don’t call this church like some clubs do. Well, I had a beautiful old lady who didn’t think we deserved to call our meetings church. She said with all the fucked up shit we do, we need God as much as he sees fit to protect us and calling our meetings ‘church’ just might piss him off.”
I laugh, thinking about Victoria. I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but I’ve heard stories. If anyone could’ve written a handbook on how to be a model old lady, it would’ve been Victoria Daughtry. Might be why Raiden has turned out the way she has.
“Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way. One of our own is being threatened. Lincoln took out Mack Jacobson, president of the L.A. Sinners. His wife took out his stepbrother, Thad Harrelson. This is not news to anyone in this fucking club. What some of you may not know, is that Sully’s sister, Katy, is connected to the Sinners. She was Mack’s old lady. The Sinners have decided to come to our town and seek retaliation. We knew it was coming and we’ve been preparing for it. They’re under new leadership, Ford Taylor, and I don’t know all that much about this fucker. I do know that he doesn’t give a shit that there are men, women, and children in this town that aren’t part of this life. It’s our job to make sure they don’t get caught in the crossfire. We will do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen, even if it means taking the fight to his fucking front door.”
I watch Katy as the room erupts in shouts and cheers. The men anxious for a fight and ready for a battle. The men who have old ladies hold them a little closer, tighten their grips on their hands. They are ready for battle, they just have a little more to lose than some of the others. Katy looks as though she’s ready to fucking bolt.
~Katy~
When I woke this morning, I hadn’t expected to find Sully and Lincoln sitting in my living room. It immediately made me regret giving her my spare key. I knew why they were there. Obviously, Griffin had called her. He hadn’t even given me a chance to make my own decision like I had asked him to. Time. I only wanted some time to think.
I wonder if Griffin realizes how deeply entrenched he is in this lifestyle. He may want to stay on the outside, do good for Verdana, be the DA, but he’s so entangled with the Ravens that he can’t ever walk away, even if he wants to. The fact that he told me to come to Sully and Dax, not the police, is proof of that. He’s the DA, but even he doesn’t believe in that form of justice anymore.
Now, these men are yelling and cheering for a battle that they won’t be ready for. That they can lose their lives in. Because of me.
“Rough day?” Kane asks, approaching me. “You’ve got that weird hair thing going.”
“Not in the mood.” I roll my eyes.
“Well, we both know all it takes to get you in the mood is a bottle of whiskey and some talk about Vin Diesel,” he grins.
I can’t help, but to laugh at this. “Not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”
I shake my head, wanting to laugh and joke as though none of this is happening, but it’s hard to feel that way in this room.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Kane offers, and I want to accept. I’m afraid though. “You’ll be safe with me.”
My physical safety is not what I worry about when it comes to Kane. He reminds me a lot of Mack, but in an entirely different way. I can’t describe it. I don’t want to be reminded of the past when I’m around him.
Kane holds his hand out, a gesture that surprises me. What surprises me even more, is that I take it. I see him nod in Lincoln’s direction, letting him know that we’re leaving, and we head outside.
I expect him to take me to his bike, but he doesn’t. He simply leads me away from the clubhouse on foot, not letting go of my hand.
“Beating yourself up about this shit isn’t going to change things,” he tells me after we’ve been walking in silence a couple of minutes. “I saw that look on your face.”
“I don’t like the thought of people getting hurt because of me. I didn’t ask for this.”
“Nope, you sure as hell didn’t, but it’s on your doorstep. How you handle it is going to say a lot about you.”
“What would you say if I ran?” I ask him, anxious to know his answer. For some reason, his opinion of me matters.
“I would say I don’t know everything about you or your past, but it sounds like you have a good reason to,” he answers. “On the other hand, maybe you should think of all the reasons you have to stay instead.”
“Does anyone else in the club know this side of you?” I question, and he laughs. I highly doubt that they do. He wouldn’t be the almighty, badass enforcer if they did.
“Maybe I only reveal this side of me to women who do that messy bun thing there,” he teases.
We stop walking, and he waves his free hand in front of us. “This place used to be Victoria’s Diner. Not quite rebuilt yet, but we’re working on it.”
We step onto the wooden floor. The frame is set up, but there’s a long way to go before this building can be called a diner.
“What happened to the original?”
“Burned down,” he responds, his thumb rubbing the skin of my hand.
He moves to sit and pulls me down with him, settling me between his legs. I rest my back against his chest. His large frame nearly engulfs me, and I feel safe and protected, even though I want the strength to protect myself.
“I’m not sure what I should do, Kane,” I tell him. “I can think of reasons to run and reasons to stay. Staying scares me more than running.”
“Sometimes the things that scare us the most are what we’re meant to do,” he says, then adds, “We’re
rebuilding Victoria’s Diner, knowing there’s a big possibility the new cook will never make pancakes the same way as the original one did. That thought scares us shitless.”
I laugh at how easily he’s lightened the mood. “I’ll make you pancakes.”
I feel him smile. I don’t have to see him to know that he’s smiling. I fight the urge to turn around and face him. I’m content where I am, just being held by him. Facing him would lead to more, and my mind can’t handle more right now. Just thinking about what all has happened this week nearly makes my head spin. I’m not the type of girl to lead two men on. Is that even what I’m doing? Kane pulls me closer and I sigh.
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Last week, this man was carrying me off to his room while kissing me senseless and making magic with his fingers until I passed out like a lightweight.
Last night, I was kissing another man who was showing me he wants to claim me as his, letting me know in his own way, that he isn’t giving up on me.
Tonight, I’m holding this man’s hand and foolishly wishing he would kiss me again. Doesn't matter if we're in his room or right here. This right here, feels right with him, even if I want to convince myself when I’m not with him, that it should feel wrong. That everything about him is wrong.
If I keep this up, I’ll have myself so confused, I won’t know which way is up. I won’t know which man to choose. I do know that this person isn’t who I want to be. Is it?
Chapter Ten
~Katy~
My decision to stay in Verdana has weighed heavily on me. I stared at my photos for over an hour. Looking at what I’ve been through. What I survived.
Sully and Lincoln told me they wouldn’t take no for an answer. I wish Griffin would’ve allowed me time to make the decision for myself. Part of me feels betrayed that he went to them. It was hard for me to say no when Sully was begging me to stay, reminding me that I haven’t seen her in so long.
