by Monroe, Jill
“Like a wedge,” Amy agreed.
“I’m guessing that you’ve never discussed this with your fiancé? Or anyone?”
“Oh, God no. I turn on the water faucet when I go to the bathroom, I certainly couldn’t talk to him about this.” She shook her head. “Even when I moved into the dorms at school, some of the girls made fun of me, so I kept my mouth shut.”
Hailey sucked in her lip, feeling guilty all over again. “Have I apologized about laughing earlier?”
Flashing her an easy grin, Amy said, “Tori just thinks I’m shy. No one, but you, knows it all.”
“I’m going to say it again. The person you need to be talking to is Jake.”
“No I couldn’t.”
“You’re going to have to do something. Believe me when I tell you this, Jake appears to be a hell of a guy, especially considering the water bill he must be facing. But sex is important in a relationship. You need to fix this now. Listen, I have an idea. I’m going to run up to my room and grab something for you. Be right back.”
“Okay,” Amy said, and Hailey bound from the room.
Hailey returned, holding a small red and yellow book.
Freeing Your Sexual Self. Amy swallowed after reading the title.
Hailey gave Amy’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “Don’t let the title intimidate you. Also, maybe you’re thinking about your Fate Delivery Card in the wrong way.”
“How could I look at it any other way? Picking that card…it was just so strange. There’s fate, and there’s coincidence and then there’s plain cosmic weirdness. Surely there was a reason, two weeks before I’m supposed to get married, that I pull that card from the deck. Right? How many signs am I supposed to ignore?”
Hailey’s head tilted. “Or those ‘signs’ just manifested in the form of silly little cards that mean nothing and you’re in the middle of a sex wedge and some very understandable prewedding jitters and panicked.”
Amy glanced down at the engagement ring twinkling on her finger. “The card only made it clear to me that things have been off for a while.”
Hailey held up her hands in surrender. “I’ve had three failed engagements, maybe some of my bad luck is rubbing off on you.”
Amy quickly looked up at her new friend. “Of course not, that’s just silly.”
“As silly as banking your future on some mass produced boxed card set? Anyway, this is what I meant about the card. Maybe you’re not supposed to set him free as in letting him go. Maybe you’re supposed to set something in your relationship free, as in exploring. Now, get to reading.” Hailey stood. “I’ll leave you to it.”
8
“THOSE CHOCOLATE and strawberry waffles are to die for. The guests are asking for more,” Hailey informed her sister, as she placed the serving tray on the tiled countertop. Nate liked good food. Would he feel like breakfast in bed?
“How’s our latest guest doing?” Rachel asked. The line forming between her eyebrows told Hailey how worried her sister was.
“Relax, I set a few things in motion last night. I’m sure the self-help book I gave her really got her mind to thinking.”
Rachel groaned. “Not another one.” Her sister took a very deep breath. “It’s okay. Not going to worry about it. What was it mom always said? Don’t get involved with the lives of guests?”
“Amy is not a guest, she’s Amy. And if that’s a rule, we can add it to the long list of other ones I’ve broken. We stayed up pretty late last night talking.”
“Get any closer to her real reason for being so upset?”
“Yes, and believe me, you don’t want to hear it.”
“Good, I don’t. Did you see that? That is how you take sound advice.”
Hailey laughed. She felt kind of sorry for Amy—not having a sister to laugh with, talk about sex with, get advice from.
“By the way, how did everything go last night? I had the ice cream all ready,” Rachel said.
Hailey heard the disappointment in her sister’s voice and immediately felt guilty. Eating ice cream in the kitchen after a date had become a tradition when their mom was still alive. The three of them would joke, confide, eat and talk about their date until her dad would tease them that girl power hour was over.
“Rachel, I’m sorry. I guess I’ve been going on dates and dissecting them all on my own for so long, I completely forgot.” Not that she hadn’t already dissected every moment, every touch and every kiss she’d shared with Nate.
“Waffle batter is not as fun as hot fudge and sprinkles, but you’re going to spill it all right now. Did you get lips?”
She shivered at the memory. “As in non-card-coerced-mouth-on-mouth action?”
“Stop stalling. I’m not afraid to splash you with melted butter.”
“Okay, yes, I got lips.” And so much more. “If I were the kind of girl that appreciated romance and romantic gestures, I’d say he scored himself a winner. A picnic on the beach.” And she wanted even more than what she got although she knew she shouldn’t. She was man transitioning here.
Rachel dropped the sponge in the murky water. “Wait, what? You did something outside? On purpose? And you liked it? With the bugs, and the probability of sweating and the potential to mess your hair?”
“I’m not that bad.”
“Yeah, I’m actually giving you a little credit. Hailey, you’re my sister and I love you, but you’re the girliest girl I know. Pink is your favorite color and there hasn’t been a pair of cute strappy sandals you could say no to. I didn’t even know you owned a pair of tennis shoes until I saw you walk out of here in them with Nate.”
“I’d just bought them,” Hailey confessed. Then busied her hands arranging the glasses on the top rack of the commercial dishwasher.
Rachel shook her head. “Wow, I get more and more impressed by this SEAL the more I hear about him. He got you into something totally ungirly.”
He could probably get her out of something just as easily.
“So, when are you going out again?”
Hailey stopped loading the dishwasher. “He didn’t exactly ask me for another date.” He’d just referred to next time.
The teasing smile faded from her sister’s face. “Hmm, that’s odd. He seemed pretty into you.”
“I told him I didn’t do relationships.” She almost wished she’d kept her mouth closed.
Her sister clucked her tongue. “I knew you wouldn’t take my advice. Feel free to ignore the little sister. He didn’t seem the type to be discouraged that easily.”
No, Nate was clearly one of those over-achiever types. And where were all these conflicted feelings coming from? She didn’t want to date right now. Did she? She’d had to remind herself of that several times last night when he reached for her hand as they strolled on the sidewalk. She clearly recapped her resolution as they raced down the beach with the kite. Okay, she forgot during the kissing part, but that was a minor slip off course. She was back, repeating the no-dating mantra, when they were lying on the blanket together, enjoying the wine.
But then all hell broke loose out there on the terrace.
“You’re smiling,” Rachel said.
“What?” she asked. Playing it dumb was the best course of action here.
“You don’t look like he took your words at face value. Like maybe something a little more than lips happened last night.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted as she closed the door to the dishwasher. A little too forcefully.
“Listen, if you can’t be honest with yourself, at least be honest with me. You like him.”
Hailey pressed the button to get the machine started, then propped her hip against the counter. “Now is not the best time for me to be seeing him. To be seeing anyone.”
“So why did you agree?”
Because when he was sitting here in this kitchen it seemed like a really good idea. Nate was funny, and charming and so, so hot.
“You’re going to hate it when I tell yo
u. He took a Fate Delivery Card, and…” Hailey’s words trailed away on a gasp. “All the time he never told me what it said on his card,” Hailey blurted, feeling really naive.
That kiss he’d given her had really messed with her priorities.
“Maybe that was his plan,” Rachel said.
And it was a pretty good one. Her curiosity ramped even higher now, and it wasn’t only about the card. She was intrigued about the man, his motives and how he’d make love.
“Well, anyway. Enough about Nate. I have some good news, too. My friend at the Tourism Bureau came through. We have at least twelve guests for coffee and cake. Operation Spot a SEAL two point oh is on.”
TONIGHT’S TRAINING EXERCISES would take them late until the evening. They’d fast rope from the helo at sunset, swim for two hours, then ascend to the helicopter in the dark. SEALs conducted the majority of their operations at night to avoid detection. These men would not only have to get used to the dark, but qualify to where they operated in the shadows just as easily as in the daylight. For Nate it was his everyday job, but the training had to reflect the realities of life as a SEAL. The new moon would give them no help.
No one spoke, each man concentrating on the job. They were getting closer to completing SQT, closer to earning their Trident, which finally made them a SEAL. Still, even at this level, some would fall short.
In a few minutes, The Sutherland would come into view. Nate couldn’t imagine the B&B without thinking of the action that took place outside between him and Hailey. Damn, that woman was hot. He could still hear those quick breaths she took. Or that sexy slow moan she made as she turned to fire in his arms. Adrenaline rushed through him, searing his focus. He was always like this before a jump, but this time he was more tense because he wanted to see if Hailey had kept her word about no more women on the shoreline.
Truthfully, he expected his men to operate as trained regardless if a hundred flashing women waited for them at the beach. Good experience for his men to work through the distraction. His hand fisted around his harness. Except that it would mean something—something to him, if the ladies weren’t there all scantily clad and cheering. Hailey would have placed his request above her own financial gain. Long before she’d told him, it was obvious that she needed the money and he knew what it would cost her not to have the extra cash from those women.
He held his breath and glanced down at the beach, but the helo was still too far away for him to get a clear picture. Nate noticed some of the men were also straining to see if their cheerleaders were on the beach. Didn’t matter. The rush provided by the thought of those women might give the men an edge.
He shifted in his seat, his gaze never settling for very long. What waited or didn’t wait on the beach would answer a lot of questions. Like whether he should go with his gut, instead of his head, and pursue Hailey.
The military life suited him. He liked the discipline, the clear-cut lines. None of that was Hailey. Yet she was the sexiest, most mix-signaled woman he’d ever met. She’d tell him she didn’t date, then plant the hottest kiss with that same mouth. He’d left Hailey at her door, but he craved her sweet-smelling softness the rest of the night.
Next time he wouldn’t be forgetting the condoms.
The pilot signaled their approach, and he readied his gear. In orderly fashion each man quietly plunged into the ocean. Cold and bracing. As soon as Nate resurfaced, the distorted sound of some kind of patriotic music blasting from a cheap set of stereo speakers hit his ears. He ground his teeth. The men, searching for the source of the sound, rotated in the water.
But he knew the source. The Sutherland.
People lined the shore once more, but he had to hand it to Hailey, she’d kept her word, but still got her way. Instead of rowdy single women, couples waved to them. The crowd held signs, but they didn’t encourage phone calls. No, these signs read “We’re proud of our son!” and “Keep up the good work!”
“I think that’s my mom,” one of the men said, clearly horrified.
For a woman who’d stated she didn’t want him in her life, Hailey knew how to make certain he did just that. He found himself smiling in anticipation. Then he quickly propelled forward…should get that two-mile swim started as soon as possible. He had a long night ahead of him.
“WELL, OUR GUESTS HAD their SEALs for the night,” announced Rachel as the men swam out of sight. “This went even better than when we had the ladies only. All but two of the parents booked a room. We’re almost at capacity.”
Hailey nodded, unable to shake her feeling of apprehension as she cleared the tables of napkins and glasses.
Amy pointed to an empty bottle. “Except some of the dads are wanting something other than mojitoes. We’ll definitely need more scotch.” She then yawned and stretched out on one of the loungers. “All this time on my feet. The B&B business is hard work.”
“Tell me about it,” Hailey said.
“What’s wrong, Hailey?” Rachel asked. “You don’t seem excited. We had a great night.”
Hailey swiped a tabletop with a cloth. Technically, she’d kept to her agreement with Nate. No distracting women.
“Hailey?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Inviting the parents seemed like a good idea at the time. A nice alternative to that all-female meat market feel from the other day, but now…”
Rachel gave her sister’s hand a squeeze. “Now is the balance sheet. Give that a quick scan, and you won’t have any doubts.”
And yet, somehow she felt as if she was letting Nate down.
The doorbell rang. “All that use, and the thing still sounds terrible,” Hailey grumbled.
“Another couple of SEAL Watch Parties, and we’ll be able to afford a whole new announcement system, never mind a new doorbell. You see who it is, I’ll take all these glasses to the kitchen.”
As Hailey happily avoided kitchen duty as much as possible, she gladly took that deal. Tossing the cloth over her shoulder, she headed for the lobby. With a tug, she swung the wide oak door open wide and was surprised to see a tall, blond man at the threshold. His expression was a combination of worry and anger.
“May I help you?” Hailey asked.
“I’m here for my fiancée. Amy?” he answered.
This must be Jake.
AMY WAS DRAINING THE last of her drink and enjoying the soft cushion of the lounge chair on the terrace. She could stay like this forever. The light gentle breeze, the lull of the ocean as it lapped at the sand all helped to ease her stress. The tension that had been building in her shoulders in the form of tight knots for weeks released more every day. Today was even better. Alone she could enjoy the warm San Diego weather without having to worry about fittings or wedding plans, Jake or diets. Or orgasms.
As long as she didn’t let her thoughts drift to the complete mess she’d made of her life, she was totally fine.
“Amy!”
She sprung upright, the muscles lining her back already returning to knots. Her eyes went wide, hoping the sound she’d heard was a trick of too much mojito.
Not a trick. Her stomach pitched and she scrambled to her feet. She was not ready to deal with this. Not yet. She knew Jake was mad, but she’d never wanted to hurt him, would do anything to make him feel better, make up for deserting him like this…but in a few days. Not now. She wasn’t ready.
He burst through the door leading from the Tea Room to the terrace. Hailey mouthed, “I’m sorry,” and Amy gave her friend a quick nod of understanding. This was not her fault.
“Jake,” she said, her voice almost breathless. Amy hadn’t expected to feel the tightening of her chest when she saw him. She’d practically fallen in love with him the day he’d walked in late to their freshman English class at San Diego State. Now his eyes were filled with pain. Pain she’d caused.
He looked her square in the eye. Dauntless conviction rested in those green depths. “We need to talk.”
Amy nodded, knowing there had to be some kind of conf
rontation. “Let’s go to the beach.”
Together they took the tiled steps from the terrace to the sand below. Together, but very much apart.
As poor college students, walking the beach had been the only thing they could afford. Since it was free. Along this very shore, they’d talked and dreamed and planned their life together. Tears pricked the back of her eyes.
“When was the last time we were here?” she asked.
Jake shrugged. “I don’t know. Feels like a long time ago.” He sounded frustrated and a little sad.
“To me, too.” They continued to walk in silence, both staring straight ahead. “We shouldn’t go too far. There’s not much sun left.”
He stopped walking and faced her. “Are you ever going to tell me why you left me?”
The hurt in his voice made it hard for her to breathe. The selfishness of what she’d done had fully hit her.
“I had no hint, no clue that anything was wrong,” he began. “You never said a word. I think you owe it to me to say something now.”
She struggled to find the right words. To make them match her thoughts. “Things haven’t felt right in the last few months.”
She heard him swallow, watched his Adam’s apple move up and down.
“Since we became engaged?” he asked.
“Before that. I was hoping getting married would help that.”
Jake made a strangled sound in his throat. “I can’t believe this. How could marriage help relationship problems?” he asked, waving a hand in the air.
“You don’t understand,” she said, looking away, focusing on where the sun met the water’s edge in the horizon. As a kid she’d listen to see if she could hear it sizzle.
“I’m trying to understand,” he said, drawing her close. “Make me understand.”
It felt so good to lay her head on his chest. To feel his arms around her body. Freeing Your Sexual Self. The title of the book popped into her mind. Could she be the kind of woman who did the things the book suggested? Amy shivered and felt goose bumps along her arms and the back of her neck.
