“That sounds kind of ominous…”
“Not in this business, it isn’t. You can’t even imagine how many NDAs I’ve signed over the years. Frankly, they aren’t a big deal—as long as you take them seriously. Because if you don’t, and if you get caught breaking the NDA, I can guarantee you that you’ll be sued. Worse, when it comes to this business, your career likely will be over.”
“I’m already not liking this,” I said. “I’ve worked my ass off to get to where I am today. You know that, Harper.”
“I do know that, and trust me, I’ve taken several days to consider whether to even bring this to your attention. But in the end, I came to the conclusion that this will be a major win for you—professionally and financially. Because if they do agree to go with you, you’ll be paid handsomely.”
“How handsomely?”
Her eyes sparkled at me.
“Ten million dollars for eight months’ work,” she said.
A chill ran down my spine.
“Harper, don’t play me,” I said. “You know I don’t have much money. You know that kind of money would change my life.”
“I’m not playing you, Sienna—and yes, ten million dollars would change your life. And I want that for you. What you should also know is that their opening offer to me was two million dollars. I got them to come up to ten, because there’s a goddamned good reason you should be paid that much when it comes to this job.”
“What job? Harper, you have to give me something—come on!”
“Here’s what I can tell you,” she said after glancing at her watch. “In ten minutes, we’ll leave for a meeting with the action star I told you about earlier…and also his miserable bitch of an agent. What you need to know is that if they want you for the job—and if you take it—your private life as you know it now will officially be dead.”
“What does that mean?”
“That you can send it your condolences. And roses—white, never red.”
“Would you please just be straight with me?”
She swung her heels off her desk and leaned toward me. “You’ll be targeted by the paparazzi. They will hunt you. They will stalk you. And they will place you firmly in the public eye. What concerns me is that you haven’t experienced that kind of fame yet, and it can be daunting, sometimes crippling. But after all our years together, I know you, Sienna. And I believe you are tough enough to see this through to the end. As we tend to building your career, I see no quicker or more powerful way of doing so than what’s about to be proposed to you. Because if you’re chosen for the job, and if you agree to do what’s asked of you, you will indeed become Hollywood’s new It Girl. You just need to understand that in the process, you will be forfeiting your privacy, and your life will be lived out in the tabloids for eight straight months—and likely a month or so after that, when all is said and done.”
“After what is said and done?”
“Are you willing to sign that NDA?” she asked me.
“To find out what this is about? Of course I am.”
Satisfied, she stood. “Then, let’s go,” she said as she smoothed down her dress and came around the table to offer her hands to me. When she did, I took them and stood in front of her. “Signing the NDA doesn’t commit you to anything more than silence. If they sense the kind of chemistry they’re looking for and do want to sign you, you can still walk away from this if it doesn’t feel like a good fit for you.”
“So, this is about chemistry?”
“Oh, my love, it’s all about chemistry,” Harper said. “This whole thing is about chemistry.”
“Now I’m really intrigued.”
“Intrigued,” Harper said almost whimsically as we moved toward the door. “Actually, your mind is about to be blown. So, do your best to keep this in mind before we go into that meeting: be the excellent actress you’ve become, maintain a poker face throughout all of it, and don’t you dare let any surprise or emotion show until you and I are alone again. Got it?”
“Got it,” I said.
“Good,” she said. “Now, follow me…”
CHAPTER TWO
“So,” Harper said as we took the stairs from the twentieth floor down to the nineteenth. “Here’s something else I probably should tell you, even though a part of me wants to die inside that I even have to.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The actor in question happens to be repped by a former lover of mine—Mimi Kennedy.”
“Mimi Kennedy?” I echoed. “You two were a couple? We’ve been together for eight years, and you’re just telling me this now? My God—she’s almost as big as you are.”
“Almost, but not quite, so let’s not overdo it. Because when it comes to that one, I will always have the edge over her.”
“How long were you together?”
“I don’t know—four years? Something like that.”
“That’s a long time.”
“Trust me, toward the end…it felt like a lifetime. And then another lifetime. And then another on top of that.”
“How long since you broke it off?”
“Nine years, which is likely why I never mentioned it to you. Let the past be the past, I say.”
“Are you on bad terms?”
Harper shrugged. “At this point? Not really. For the most part, she and I try our best to keep things professional between us. But since we’re both fiercely competitive—which is what drove us apart in the end—you might catch us tossing a few zingers at one another, which is par for the course when it comes to us. Sometimes it can get personal, but for the most part, we don’t allow it to go too far. That said, if jabs are taken, try your best to overlook them.”
“Got it.”
“Or dodge them.”
“Got that, too.”
When we stepped out onto the nineteenth floor, we walked down a busy hallway thrumming with a host of slim, sleek, well-heeled people striding this way and that. At the end of the hall, we hooked a right, and Harper greeted a pretty young woman seated behind a large desk.
“Andrea,” she said, “so good to see you. Please meet Sienna Jones.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Andrea said, looking up at me as we shook hands. “I loved you in Lion. You were amazing in it, Sienna. And huge congrats on your win at Cannes. That must have been so exciting for you.”
“Thank you,” I said, a bit taken aback by her enthusiasm but grateful for it just the same. “It was unexpected, that’s for sure.”
“Is Mimi ready for us?” Harper asked in a bored tone.
“She is,” Andrea said. “Let me give her a quick call to let her know you and Sienna are here.”
“Mimi is big on announcements,” Harper said to me with a roll of her eyes. “It’s all about showbiz when it comes to that one.”
When Andrea had made the call, she stood, showed us to a tall, mahogany-paneled door, and swung it open. Harper went in first. I followed.
“Mimi!” Harper said as the door clicked shut behind us. “Good to see you. Trim and terrific as always.”
“As are you, Harper—always so on point,” said the raven-haired beauty who stood before us. Mimi Kennedy was wearing a black power suit, straight hair that fell just to her shoulders in a brisk cut, and a bold red lip. I couldn’t tell if she was younger or older than Harper, but after a swift assessment, I had a feeling they were close to the same age. And that her presence was just as formidable as Harper’s.
“Sienna has agreed to the terms,” Harper said. “She’ll sign the NDA.”
“Smart girl,” Mimi said as she came over to shake my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Sienna.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mimi,” I said.
“Well done on your big win,” she said to me. “I loved your performance in Lion. It was as perfect as it was profound. Don’t be surprised if you see an Academy Award nomination coming your way.”
“Thank you,” I said. “But that’s probably a long shot.”
“I d
isagree,” came a deep male voice to my left. “You were brilliant in that movie, Sienna. Both you and it won for a reason. I think Mimi might be right. You’re going to get a nomination. We think you’re about to become the next big thing.”
I turned to see who it was—and for the life of me, I couldn’t believe who it was. It was fucking Jackson Cruise, and he was seated in the middle of the room on one of two sofas that faced each other. When he blistered me with that famous, sexy smile of his—the one with the irresistible dimples dented deep into his cheeks, which had won women’s hearts all around the globe for years, including mine—I felt as if my body was being lifted off the ground. This meeting had to do with him? Seriously? I was here to audition for one of the hottest-looking and most successful men in the business?
God, help me.
Keep your cool. Be polite. Wear your poker face.
“Thank you, Mr. Cruise,” I said.
“It’s Jackson,” he said as he stood. “And it’s nice to meet you, Sienna. You’re even more beautiful in person.”
And you seriously are better looking in person, I thought as he strode toward me. He was wearing tight, faded jeans and a white T-shirt that did nothing to conceal his muscular frame, and his dark hair gleamed in the office’s natural lighting. When he held out his hand to me, I noted the expensive-looking silver watch on his wrist and felt the smoothness of his skin as we shook hands.
“I’m such a fan,” I said to him. “It’s an honor to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he said. “Consider me a new fan of yours, Sienna.”
How can this be happening? Am I really here right now? How can it possibly be that I’m about to have an audition with Jackson Cruise? And why all the secrecy? Why the NDA? What’s about to transpire here?
“Sienna, Jackson and I are thrilled that you agreed to come today,” Mimi said. “And we’re also grateful that you’ve agreed to sign the NDA so we can move forward with the real reason you’re here today. I’m afraid we put Harper in a difficult place, because I know she was unable to answer the many questions you likely had for her before arriving here. That must have been frustrating for each of you, and I want to personally apologize for any duress it might have caused you.”
“Thanks a million, Mimi,” Harper said as she looked at her nails. “I appreciate the sentiment.”
“I’m sure you do, Harper.”
In response, Harper simply blew her a kiss.
“Sienna,” Mimi said. “If you’d come over to my desk and sign the NDA, we can begin.”
When I walked over to her desk and saw how thick the document was, I looked blankly at Harper. “This might take a while for me to read,” I said.
“Read?” Mimi said. “I just need your signature, dear.”
“She’s new to this, Mimi. Allow me to walk her through it.”
“Of course…”
“It’s all aboveboard,” Harper said to me as she flipped through the document, quickly skimming each page. “This is the standard NDA document CAA uses, and it’s exactly what I signed to bring us all together today. All you need to know, Sienna, is that after you sign it, everything that’s about to be said in this room stays in this room. And whether or not you land the job in question, you must never speak about what is said here today. If you do, you likely will be sued. Do you agree to those terms?”
“I do,” I said.
“Then, sign.” She looked up at Mimi and snapped her fingers at her. “A pen would help, Mimi.”
“Right, right,” Mimi said as she reached for one next to her MacBook Pro. “Here, Sienna. Use this.” She handed me a pen, took the document from Harper, and pointed out the three separate places where I needed to sign and date, which I did.
“This is now officially binding,” Mimi said to me. “Congratulations. Now, the four of us can talk freely. Quel soulagement!”
I trusted Harper to my core, but frankly all this sounded kind of sketchy to me. Why did I need to sign that document just to speak freely in front of Jackson Cruise?
“We can,” I said to her with a smile I didn’t feel.
“Good,” she said. “And thank goodness! Because this is officially behind us now, isn’t it, Jackson?”
“It is,” he said quietly.
She motioned to Harper.
“How about if Sienna and Jackson sit on that couch and you and I sit opposite them on that couch?”
“Works for me, Mimi. This is your show to run, so…you know—run it.”
After we took our seats, Mimi clocked me with a glance.
“Sienna, do you follow the gossip rags?” she asked.
“Sometimes,” I said, looking over at Jackson, who appeared weirdly uncomfortable to me right now. “But not for the past couple of weeks. It was only late last night that I returned home from Cannes. It was so crazy there. I’ve been out of the loop.”
“Then…you haven’t read or heard anything unusual about Jackson recently?”
“No,” I said. “Should I have?” I turned to him. “I’m sorry if I missed something big. It’s probably about a major deal you’ve signed, right? I should have been paying closer attention.”
“Yeah,” he said wistfully. “If only if it were about that, Sienna.”
Confused, I shot Harper and Mimi a few glances. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“This is rather delicate,” Mimi said.
And then a frustrated Jackson Cruise looked directly at me. “Actually, it isn’t,” he said. “I’m gay, Sienna. Last week, the National Enquirer photographed me kissing another man. It’s all over the news, and my career is about to go into the shitter because of it.”
“Not if I can help it,” Mimi said. “Because you and I have a plan.”
Jackson Cruise is gay? I thought incredulously. Seriously? I’ve been surrounded by gay male models, actors, and my own gay friends for years. Everyone knows my gaydar is legendary, and yet I somehow missed this? How is that even possible? Never once would I have pegged Jackson Cruise as a gay man. I’ve lusted after him for years, for God’s sake, as has every other straight woman in the world.
When I looked at him, I saw vulnerability in his eyes—and I felt for him. With this out in the media right now, I could only imagine the hell he was going through—particularly since the public and his fans viewed him as this big, butch action star. In my opinion, he still was, but stereotypes could affect that perception, which also could affect his career.
And so, without thinking, I instinctively reached over and grasped his hand. At first, he seemed surprised by the act, but when our eyes met, I knew he only saw my compassion for the situation he was in and not judgment—which is likely why I felt him relax when he squeezed my hand in return.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him.
“It’s my fault,” he said. “Even though I was getting on my own private plane when the photographs were taken, I should have known better than to kiss this guy I’ve been seeing over the past several months when he greeted me on the tarmac. I should have waited until we were inside the plane, where it would have been private. But I was so caught up in the moment, it felt right to kiss him there. And when I did? I fucked up big time, because the photographs don’t lie, and I’m about to lose everything I’ve built for myself over the past thirteen years. The media is trying to tear me down as we speak.”
“But that doesn’t mean they’ll win,” Mimi said. “The photographs that were taken of you were shot at such a great distance that all of them are blurry. In every one of them, it could be interpreted that you were simply kissing your friend on the cheek before you stepped onto that plane.”
At that, Jackson groaned.
“Anyway, all of this is why Sienna is here,” Mimi said quickly. “We’ve talked about this, Jackson. You aren’t the first actor to face this kind of crisis. It can be managed. We’ve discussed how the system handled Rock Hudson back in the day—and how well it worked not only for him but also for the likes of James Dean, Tab Hunter
, and Montgomery Clift. And just look at the rumors that have long beleaguered Hugh Jackman and John Travolta, for God’s sake. Travolta’s career might be on life support because he just keeps getting stranger and creepier, but Jackman’s career is thriving despite the speculation surrounding his sexuality.”
“Hugh Jackman doesn’t have a photograph of him kissing the man who pilots his private plane, Mimi,” Jackson said. “He just has an older wife and sings and dances in Broadway shows, which people can’t wrap their heads around since he’s best known for playing Wolverine.”
It was slowly dawning on me where this was leading…
“All right,” Mimi said tentatively. “Would you prefer if we just cut to the chase?”
“I would. I don’t want to waste Sienna’s time any more than I want to waste my own.”
“That’s fine,” Mimi said. “And I agree. Now look—Harper and I just saw how Sienna reached out to you. We witnessed your connection, especially when you responded to her touch. It was real, and it was honest. Do you think we even need to go through with an audition at this point?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “In fact, I don’t know anything right now.” He looked over at me when he said that, and I could literally feel his embarrassment, which saddened me. Nobody should feel ashamed or be shamed for their sexuality, but Jackson Cruise clearly felt differently. He was suffering because of this. “Sienna, when you took my hand a moment ago, you were very kind. Whatever happens between us going forward, I want to thank you for that, because it meant something.”
“Signed documents or not, your secret will always be safe with me, Jackson,” I said. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I don’t mean this to sound trite given the world we live in, but you should be allowed to live your life freely, not one that suits a mold meant to be sold to the masses. It infuriates me that you aren’t able to do that, even though I understand why you don’t want to risk the consequences. The idea that your sexuality is even an issue in this day and age enrages me. I’m angry for you. So, tell me, Jackson—what do you need from me today? There’s a reason I’m here.”
Faking It Page 2
