Once my head was clearer, I’d have to speak to Nica about hiring Rocco. He’d been more useful this morning than the rest of the crew. Whatever he did with his time off was his own business.
I scrolled through my missed calls. Ten calls from my parents and fifteen from Danny. I also had numerous voicemails waiting. I skipped checking any of them and rang my parents’ home with no success. So I called Danny.
“Danny, what’s up?” I asked as soon as he picked up.
His voice sounded tired and heavy. I didn’t like it one bit. “Hannah, it’s your Dad...” He sighed, and I felt the weight of it on my shoulders and on my chest. “It’s time for you to come back to Stowe.”
My entire body numbed.
ALEX
At thirty thousand feet, while I watched the right wing of the plane get swallowed by white clouds, I received a message. I feared that my heart would stop beating if I didn’t get to her sooner. I couldn’t even imagine the pain she was going through.
Right at that moment, a vision appeared clearly in my mind—a photograph burned into my memory—of Chase somber, looking out the hotel window one rainy night. The light from a lamp post outside illuminated her figure, a silhouette in the shadows.
I’d said, “Tell me. What’s on your mind?” as I’d walked up to her, sliding my arms over the smooth skin of her naked stomach, and pulling her flush against me. My body’s reaction was instantaneous, firing up the craving I’d had for her.
She hadn’t shied away, instead, she’d pressed her buttocks harder against me, no inch spared between us. I’d produced a hiss, not of pain, but of satisfaction. Her scent had infiltrated my senses, and I’d been addicted to it, to her, to all of her. Chase had breathed, pushing her chest forward, urging me to cup her breasts, and she’d welcomed my touch. I couldn’t get enough of her. I would never get enough of her.
“Alex,” she’d begun, then paused and turned to face me, hooking her hands over the back of my neck. Her fingers played with the ends of my hair. I’d splayed my hands over her buttocks, and squeezed. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Once,” I’d answered, “Once I thought I was.” It was the truth. I remembered what I’d thought I’d felt for Simone, thinking that my world revolved around her. I’d been careless. I’d been blind. And I’d paid dearly for it. Chase knew about Simone.
But her next question had terrified me more.
“Is there anything you regret in life?” Her fingers massaged the muscles of my neck, easing the tension this line of questioning had created.
I’d breathed her in again, leaned my head forward and released a warm breath over her shoulder. “I’d like to think that I shouldn’t have any, but...the separation between Levi and me was hard on me, on the both of us.” Where was this going? “Do you have any regrets?”
“Plenty.” There had been no hesitation on her part, and no pause before her next question. “If there’s one person you could talk to right now, who would it be?”
I’d chuckled drily. “I am talking to her now.”
“No.” She’d grazed her lips over mine before kissing me. “I mean someone who’s not in your life anymore.”
I’d nipped at her soft, sweet red lips. It wouldn’t do me any good to keep the answer to myself. She’d never let it go. She was a naturally curious person. “My father.”
“What would you say?” Her voice had become almost a whisper against my skin.
“That I forgive him.”
Chase had pressed her lips over mine. Desire had burnt through me. There had been no other questions asked that night.
But now, I wish that I had asked. I wished that I’d asked her the same question—What would she tell her father if he were in front of her? I imagined she would tell him that she loved him. I imagined those were the same words she could be saying to him now, as my plane flew over the Atlantic.
I’d received a different message several hours ago. A message which had sent me packing in a haste and abandoning my assignment. The preparation to leave Turkey had been quick, but the departure had been pain-stakingly slow.
His condition worsened due to a complication. Chase had made it to Stowe and by her father’s side the entire time. Daniel had been sending me daily accounts. At first, they all thought he’d be on the mend, but his condition had turned overnight.
My phone lit up and vibrated as it received another message. It had only been a few minutes since I’d been told Walt Buford was sent to ICU. But it was too late. He couldn’t be saved.
I pressed a number in my contacts and immediately connected.
“How is she?” I bypassed the greeting. There was no need for it. My call was expected.
“Holding everything in, like usual. When will you get here?”
“About five hours. The skies are clear,” I said.
“Get some rest while you can. You’ll need the energy. See you when you get here.”
I gripped the armrest of my seat, cursing myself for leaving the US in the first place. “I should have been there right from the start. I should have been there for Chase.”
My heart felt the pain of loss. What she’d be feeling now was insurmountable compared to mine.
“Just get here.” The line went dead as Daniel ended the call.
When I arrived at the Buford Estates, the house was packed. I stayed hidden in the shadows. My presence would pique people’s curiosity. Who was I, a stranger amongst them?
“Alex.” There was a soft tap on my arm. I’d been staring into nothing, focused on the memories in my head.
“Georgia-Anne, I’m sorry for your loss.” I hugged her. She was fond of hugs, unlike her daughter.
“Thank you for coming. I’m sure Walt would have been thrilled knowing you’re here. I know he’s watching us right now.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Have you seen my daughter? Does she know you’re here?”
“No, I haven’t.” I made a gesture of looking around although I knew Chase wasn’t near us at all.
“She’s probably in her bedroom. Go and find her. She needs you right now.” Georgia-Anne patted my arm before hugging me again. “You know the way. Go on.”
I turned to the stairs, which led to the second floor of the large home. She was right. I knew the way to Chase’s room. How many times had I’d gone there before, searching for a clue to how I could reach out to her, and prove my love? Her bedroom walls were covered in pink chintz. I knew that she must have hated it. It was an exact contrast to her bedroom in San Francisco.
My heart thudded inside my chest as I drew near it. I rapped at her door and waited for an answer. Nothing. I knocked again. With courage, or insanity, or a mixture of both, I turned the handle as I quietly called out her name. And it opened to an empty room. The black dress she’d worn during the funeral service laid across the undisturbed bed.
CHASE
There’s no rewind button in life.
How I hoped it wasn’t true. All I had were memories and mementos. The letter from my sister. The last few words from my father. The sound of my heart breaking.
It was always so easy to just run away, turn my back on the past and start anew. But I’d done that before and eventually it caught up to me. A big part of me wished it had stayed in the past, but a larger piece of my heart was grateful that it hadn’t. I didn’t know what I would have done had Daddy passed away without me knowing. Yes, his death had taken a bite out of my life but he had given me peace at the very end. Only he could’ve done that.
When I’d told him that I regretted leaving Stowe years ago, Daddy had said, “You must learn to forgive yourself. What you did was something you felt was right.” He’d paused to cough, taking his breath away momentarily, but then he’d trudged on. “You’re a survivor. You’re a proud Buford, and as stubborn as your old man here. But you’re also a lover and a fighter. It’s okay to follow your heart.”
He’d said the words to me when we’d been alone. Daddy had continued, despite my urging
to save his breath, “And don’t worry about your mother. She will be fine. She’s been running the farm with me since before you were born. I know she’ll manage on her own. You...you need to go everywhere and see everything. And be with that person who can take care of your heart. Be with the person you ought to be with, my Nugget.”
My father had given me sound advice throughout the years, particularly on matters of the heart. Even while I’d been away I’d kept his wisdom in my thoughts. But at the end of it, I’d chosen to be alone.
Or fate had chosen it for me.
My chest heaved as I controlled my breathing, gazing out into the reflection of the orange sky over the silent, still water. Just yesterday my father had been alive, offering pieces of his soul to me. Then he was gone. And in Walter Buford fashion, the funeral service had been simple and quick. “Like pulling off a Band-Aid,” he would have described it. He hadn’t wanted anyone mourning him for days, especially not me. Yet, it didn’t stop the hollowness in my heart. My heart was overfilled with sorrow. With loss and heartache.
My plan had been to chuck several bales of hay to exert some energy. I hadn’t slept. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t stopped crying when I was alone. And I’d thought that by making my muscles hurt, I could try and release the other kinds of hurt I was feeling.
When I’d reached the farm, though, I couldn’t get myself to do anything but sit on the dock and stare at everything around me, wiping away tear after tear rolling down my cheeks. As I sat with my arms around my legs, I contemplated on the words he’d offered to me. Daddy had wanted me to live, to love, and to experience the world. Charity had had the same sentiments.
I wondered what the rest of the world looked like. In Alex’s photos, I’d seen the beauty it offered. But to feel the searing earth in Africa, to smell the aroma of spices in India, to hear the chatter of birds and all sorts of animals in the Amazon, to taste the sweetness of freshest fruits in Thailand, what would those experiences be like? How would I react to them?
As I dipped my feet into the lake, I patted the paper beside me, weighed down by a large river rock. Charity’s letter. She’d encouraged me to see and experience the world all those years ago. And my father had done the same before he’d taken his last breath. I had the urge to run and hop on the next flight out of the country, but some time during the last decade, I’d grown up. I would have to start making plans. I’d travel to respect my father and sister’s wishes. I’d do it for the little girl who’d learned to climb the tree all on her own just to experience what it was like to be that high up, reaching tiny hands toward the clear blue sky. She’d want me to climb a mountain too.
I’d do this for them. I’d do this for me. It was time to live.
I heard the crunch of gravel behind me. I knew Danny would come looking for me once they discovered I’d left the estate. I glanced quickly over my shoulder at his truck stopping by the docks. The lake water was cold, like the air around me. While I sucked in another calming breath, and swiped at the last tears from my eyes, I swirled my toes and watched the ripples on the still surface. There was something beautiful about the circles forming over the lake. It was almost soothing. I could talk to him, but I didn’t want him to see me cry.
Behind me, a car door shut, followed by footsteps on the wooden dock. Hesitant footsteps. I made another ripple with my feet. I sniffed the air and touched my cool hands to my reddened cheeks.
“I’m fine, Danny. You didn’t have to come and get me. I just needed some time to myself,” I said without looking over.
The footsteps halted. “Would you like me to come back in a minute or so?”
The speaker wasn’t Danny. I turned and saw Alex with his hands in his pockets, looking every bit as handsome as I last saw him. When I stood to face him, I lost my balance. My hands flailed to keep myself on the dock, and Alex reached forward to help me.
I fell into the cold water, pulling him in with me.
I shouted a few curse words as I resurfaced and pushed myself back up to the dock, not ignoring Alex’s splayed hands on my butt as he helped me up. Once seated back on the wood, I stretched out my hand to pull Alex up beside me.
“Is that water always this cold?” he asked, pushing his soaked hair off his forehead. His black shirt and trousers clung to him like second skin.
I gathered my hair to one side and squeezed the water out of it. My teeth chattered. “Nope. What are you doing here?”
Alex peeled his shirt off and as he stood, he started unbuttoning his pants. “I came to look for you. You weren’t at the house.”
“What are you doing? Why are you getting naked?” I forced my eyes away from his toned, tanned, wet body and up to the concerned look on his face. “Hold up. You were looking for me at my parents’ house?”
“Yes. You’re going to get a chill if you don’t take your wet clothes off.” He undressed to his boxers and left the pile of clothes by his feet.
“I’m fine.” I swatted at the air around me, but the thoughtfulness in his voice caused a tightening in my chest. A pressure built in my head, and I felt the prickle of unshed tears in the back of my eyes.
“No, Chase. Come to the truck. I think I spotted a blanket in the back. I don’t want you to get sick.” Alex spread his hands in front of me. “Take my hands or I’ll pick you up and carry you.” One corner of his lips quirked.
Encouraged by that hint of a smile, I nodded. As I got on my feet, Alex held me, wrapping me in a tight embrace. It was too much for me, and I sobbed. My shoulders shook. The outpouring was relentless, but Alex did not let go. He murmured foreign words into my ear. And as my legs gave out from under me, Alex held me closer. He kissed the sensitive skin on corners of my lips, then he pressed his lips on my forehead. When my sobs died down, he guided me toward the truck.
“Wait. My letter.” I pointed at the soaked paper beside his wet clothes.
Carefully, he picked it up and handed it to me. Then we proceeded to the truck. Before I stepped in, he helped me take off my shirt and jeans, and wrapped me in the blanket, which he grabbed from the back. Alex lifted me into Danny’s pickup. I reached over and started it, letting the heat warm the cab. I placed Charity’s letter over the console to dry. As Alex scooted beside me, he wrapped his arms around me, and I in turn, shared the thick blanket with him. We stayed in silence for a while.
“What are you doing here, Alex?” I asked in a soft voice, hoarse from my crying.
Alex’s shoulders rose then fell. I couldn’t ignore the quick tattoo of his heart as I pressed my head on his chest. He inhaled deeply and exhaled into my hair.
“I received the message about your father when I was in Turkey. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”
If he expected me to accept that answer as it was, then he was mistaken. “I don’t understand. How did you know?”
Alex held my chin and raised my head so that I could see the tenderness in his eyes. “Yes, Levi and Nica told me about your father. Daniel called me to say that his condition had gotten worse, and later on, he called me when Walt died.”
“But...”
“Chase, you should know that I’m here for you, and only you. When I left Napa after Aimee was born, I decided to pay your father a visit.”
“Why?”
Alex offered a half shrug. “I wanted to get to know the man who raised you. Who meant so much to you, while I still could. I met Daniel then too. I came before I worked the NatGeo project in Istanbul.” He looked out of the window. The sky had turned into a rich mix of purple, red and grey. “I promised him that I’d show him the photos I’d taken when I came back. I didn’t think...”
He let the words hang in the air. Nobody had foreseen Daddy’s death. The probable months we had been given as he’d undergone chemo had turned into days, then hours. No matter how much I’d tried to prepare myself for it, my heart had broken. Alex said he was here for me. Would he help me heal?
“He was a great man, Chase, and he spoke of nothing and no one else
but you.” He brushed the hair off my face, and ran his thumb over my lips. “I promised him I would take care of you. Will you let me do that? Will you allow me to keep my promise to him?”
I’d be stupid to say no. I loved this man in front of me, and it seemed he felt the same way. I raised my arms and tangled my fingers behind his neck. “Just moments ago, I was thinking of you. Daddy asked me to find the person who had my heart. I guess I don’t have to go looking too far, now that he’s in front of me.” With my heart sighing Alex’s name, I pressed my lips onto his.
Sweetness and sorrow co-mingled in that kiss.
We drove back to the house as the night took over the sky, and the brightest stars came out to greet us. The people who had gathered earlier had all gone back to their homes. My mother had retired for the night, and the house stood in comfortable silence. I didn’t have to lead Alex to my bedroom.
With the moonlight filtering through the bedroom windows, Alex skated a thumb over my cheeks and followed the shape of my lips. “Hayati,” he whispered, while our foreheads touched and our eyes closed. “My life.” A single tear left a moist path down to my lips before Alex covered them with his.
We slept in the same bed, in my pink bedroom. We kissed. We cuddled, but not much more. We had the rest of our lives for more. Alex was there with me. Neither one of us ran away from love, instead, we embraced it. We held onto it.
Facing the full-length mirror, I ran my hands over the white silk dress, with the cathedral-length train bundled up behind me. I tugged at the ends of the sleeves at my wrist and fixed the high-neck lace collar.
Who was this woman in front of me? I raised my chin, looking down at the reflection.
“Wow.”
My shoulders shook when his voice startled me. My eyes darted to the corner of the mirror. My hands were poised to unzip the bridal gown. I panicked and it got it stuck in my hair.
“Ouch!” My lips twisted into agony.
Chasing the Runaway Bride (Bliss Series Book 3) Page 22
