“You wanna come back another day, Jen?” Bulk asked as he peered at me over the seat from the front of the car.
Jax’s gaze also set on me, the same question in his eyes but his face held a soft smile.
After silently arguing with myself over many deliberations, I pulled in a huge breath and pulled back my shoulders. “No, let’s do this.”
They nodded firmly and both clambered out of the car before Bulk opened my own door and the pair of them flanked me, like my own personal guards as I let us into the house.
I groaned loudly when I spotted the pair of heels, blouse and bra scattered at the bottom of the stairs.
“The fuck?” Jax hissed and I sighed.
“I’ll get the things I need from down here first whilst we let the lovebirds finish their romp, and then hopefully the coast will be clear to raid up there.”
Bulk frowned at me. “How can you be so calm when he’s obviously fucking some random up there?” he whispered quietly as he tried not to bring attention to our presence.
I shrugged, “Never bothered me. He’s been screwing randoms for years, Bulk.”
He scoffed and stared at me. “Why the fuck did you stay with him for so long?”
I rolled my lips and looked away but knew they were now my friends and deserved the truth. “Because he said if I ever left him he would hunt Ethan down and...”
“The fuck?” Jax hissed again as he took a step towards the stairs but I grabbed his arm and shook my head.
“No, please. I need to get this done first and it’s better if he’s… occupied to give me a clear run for down here.”
They both stared at me, their anger at Kyle’s threats towards their friend outweighing their need to let me get this done although they both relented and nodded as they escorted me into the room.
Their religious protective stance had my heart swelling in gratitude. They had taken me in without exception as one of their own, just because of what I meant to Ethan. The simplicity of their acceptance humbled me and I echoed each of their affections, regarding them all as my new and extended family.
We quietly made our way through the house collecting and gathering my things. I smiled sadly at the photo of Kyle and me at my school prom; a time when we had been happy and in love.
The breakdown of a marriage was always sad and mine was no exception, even after years of abuse and heartache, and I still wished that I could have made Kyle happy. Still longed for him to find what he needed from life and pull himself out of the darkness that consumed him.
I knew my betrayal with Ethan had been the beginning of the end in our happiness and maybe, just maybe, if I had been strong and refused to yield to his threat all those years ago, things would have turned out different for us both.
But this had been the hand dealt to us and we had to play the game until somebody won or all the cards had been dealt and one of us admitted defeat.
I was admitting defeat but I still wanted to win.
I looked at both of my minders, exhaled little by little and then nodded as I made my way to the stairs.
We reached the landing and I could hear the giggles and grunts coming from the bedroom. My stomach churned and my heart rate rocketed as I palmed the door handle, “Wait here.” I whispered.
Bulk shook his head and scowled but I nodded. “You can stay just here, right outside the door, okay?” I encouraged softly.
He regarded me for a while and then winced when Kyle’s buddy squealed in delight at something he had rumbled out.
Bulk’s teeth slid into his lower lip and Jax growled protectively but I placed a hand on each arm. “Honestly, I’m good. No emotion to that at all,” I frowned at myself before I smiled at them.
My God, how sad that was? My husband was in bed with some hussy and I bore no emotion, feeling or reaction to it and I definitely had no problem with it.
Bulk sighed heavily then nodded, “We’re just outside the door. I hear any threat or movement from him, I’m gonna rip him to pieces. You got me, little lady?”
I nodded in reply to his oath as I pulled in a breath and opened the door quietly.
They continued fucking for a while but I didn’t look at them. I just strolled up to the wardrobe and started pulling my clothes out casually.
I had managed to retrieve about five or six items before my presence was alerted to them.
I heard Buddy gasp before an eerie silence enveloped the room and I physically felt Kyle’s rage before I witnessed it. The room cooled slightly, as though an ethereal spirit had descended on us; the air seemed heavy and constricting in the open space of the large room and his wrath seemed to float in the atmosphere.
My whole spirit and soul thundered around my body, ready and preparing for a fight as my brain and heart decided that I was no longer the little woman who bowed down to this… this poor excuse of a husband and mockery of a man.
I was now Ethan’s; his own spirit and soul now flowed through my veins as if he was with me, guarding me and empowering me and I felt a calmness shroud me as my senses kicked in to his swift approach.
But I also had another helping hand – A mother’s utter determination and strength to protect her child.
As I felt him reach me from behind, I spun round and palmed his chest with my left hand as my right hand curled into a fist and slammed into his cheekbone with so much unrestrained force he stumbled backwards.
He was too stunned to react at first and his astounded gaze locked on my face as he staggered to right himself.
Many emotions and thoughts crossed over his face before rage and disgust settled and I braced myself for the backlash of my defence but I chewed on my nerves and spat them out as I faced him off.
“You ever fucking touch me again and it will be the last thing you ever do.” I warned with conviction and firmness as I held his glare with my own.
He frowned slightly and I noticed Buddy slither backwards up the bed as she now felt her lover’s rage in the room and realised just how much of a bad boy her latest fuck was.
I raised my brow at Kyle and tipped my head sinisterly, telling him just how much of my threat I would follow through on.
I could see the options flash his brain as he twigged I wasn’t playing when I picked up the scissors from the vanity behind me and yielded them like a weapon.
His eyes shot back up to mine; confusion, disbelief and… fear possessed them and I smiled maliciously.
“No more, Kyle. No more” I said quietly, “Your little wife has grown up.”
He rolled his lips before he sucked in air through his teeth and hissed loudly. “Suddenly the big woman now you’re back with that prick, eh?” he mocked as he took a step towards me.
“No, she’s finally wised up to your bullshit idea of what a marriage should entail.” Bulk said coldly as he stepped into the room with Jax.
Kyle’s head shot to them both as their huge frames dominated the room, both of them simmering with their own rage at the man stood before them.
“Did you not learn your lesson when we had words last time?” Bulk mocked with a smug grin.
Kyle turned back to me, his anger etched clearly on his face as his whole body emitted pure fury. “This isn’t over, Jen. I promise you that, sweetheart.”
Jax was on him in a heartbeat, his fist smashed repeatedly in Kyle’s face as he growled and snarled like a caged animal whilst Buddy screamed and fell off the edge of the bed in her desperation to escape Jax’s rage.
He eventually stepped away from a bloodied and beaten Kyle but not before he leaned in close to his face and grasped his chin forcefully. “Fucking over now.” He spat as he shoved him back down onto the floor.
I merely smiled at Kyle and continued with my packing, my heart lighter, my mind clearer and my whole body still humming with Ethan’s love.
Chapter 20
“I wonder how sharks hump.” Ethan mumbled with a crease on his brow. My own brow puckered as I contemplated his odd question.
W
e were currently in the Sealife centre in Great Yarmouth, under the enclosed plastic tunnel, surrounded by an array of colourful underwater creatures as a huge shark resided above us, directly laid out on the top of the tunnel.
“I have absolutely no idea, Ethan. You want me to ask him for a demonstration?”
His arms circled my waist from behind as his chin rested on my shoulder and a finger prodded me in the ribs. “Go on then.”
I gazed up at the sleepy shark and sighed deeply. “Excuse me. My friend here is interested in shark porn and we were wondering if you would like to make a movie. You will be paid handsomely; I have a nice piece of haddock in my freezer.”
Ethan barked out a laugh and shuffled us further down the shark’s body. “But, I mean, he doesn’t have a willy, look” he deliberated as he peered up at the huge fella.
God help me! This was the father of my child…
I blew out an exasperated breath as I closed my eyes. “You know, we could discuss world peace,” I sighed, mainly to myself “the state of the British economy, or which colour fruit pastel we prefer but no, we have to talk about the sexual habits of a shark.”
He chuckled and flicked his lips over the skin under my ear. “You love my passionate debates, Jen.”
I sighed and nodded as a smile lifted my lips. “You could be the next Dalai Lama, Ethan.”
He nodded and pursed his lips in admiration, “I should apply.”
I nodded firmly before he swept me up and spun me round. “You are so cheeky; you need to respect those in authority, Jen. That’s why I’m called Boss.”
I scoffed loudly. “God help the minions if you get a position of authority.”
He narrowed his eyes playfully and tenderly bit the tip of my nose. “You are my minion, baby. You should kneel and obey.”
I laughed loudly as I placed my arms around his neck and kissed his own nose. “Yes, master.”
He nodded seriously, “Good girl. You’re master needs feeding.”
“My master always needs feeding. It’s all the energy you’re consuming in our many demonstrations of human sex.”
“Yes, Snapper here needs to take notes.” He smirked as he took my hand and pulled me through the building towards the nearest chippy; his stomach grumbling loudly as the smell of fried food hit us.
We settled on a bench on the sea front, the view over the ocean calming both our souls as we tucked into our fish and chips.
“I need you to stay with E this weekend. We’ve got a concert in Germany and I don’t want you on your own.” Ethan declared suddenly.
I paused the forkful of fish that was on its journey to my mouth as I frowned at him. “I’ll be okay at Bulk’s house. His security is brilliant.”
He shook his head adamantly, “No, Jen. Please, just stay with E for a few days. I won’t be able to relax if I know you’re on your own.”
“But…”
He scowled at me and I sighed but relented, “Fine.”
His features softened and he gave me a tender smile as he kissed my nose, “Thank you and you don’t go out alone either.”
“Ethan, I’ll be fine…”
“GOD DAMN… will you just do as I ask!” he shouted at me.
I blinked rapidly and my teeth sank into my bottom lip at his anger. He groaned loudly and flung himself off the bench, throwing his lunch into a nearby bin as he stalked over to the edge of the promenade and leaned on the fence, his knuckles white in his death grip on the cold metal bar as he stared out to sea.
I remained seated on the bench, giving him the space he needed to calm down although my heart ached for his worry and fear.
I watched him simmer down before he strolled back over to me, picked me up and sat down then settled me on his knee. His nose nuzzled in my hair as he sighed loudly, “I’m sorry, Jen. I…”
I placed a finger over his lips to silence him. “I know, I know. I promise I’ll stay with E all the time you’re gone.”
He pulled in a deep breath and blew it out slowly as he closed his eyes. “I am so fucking frightened, Jen. I’m terrified of him… of not been there if he…”
“Shush. I promise, he won’t get to me, okay?”
He screwed up his face as if physically in pain before he nodded and took my hand in his, his thumb tracing circles in my palm as he figured out how to voice the words he wanted to say. “You just promise that you’ll be careful, I… it would be the end of me if… anything… Fuck!”
I swallowed at his deep pain and manoeuvred on his knee until I was straddled over him and I rested my forehead against his. “Ethan, baby. Listen to me; we can’t go into a relationship like this.”
He frowned at my words and as he opened his mouth to say something I shook my head and placed my fingers over his lips. “You will end up suffocating us in your fear and worry for me.”
He sighed heavily and turned his gaze back out to the horizon but I could see his understanding of my words. “I just…”
“I know, baby. Do you not think I have exactly the same thoughts about you as you do about me? For nine years I have lived in fear of a man that promised to kill the only thing that was ever important to me… you. Every damn day, I lived with a man that abused me, hurt me, ridiculed me, and humiliated me just for the one reason of keeping the man I loved alive. So yes, I know exactly how you feel but you know what, Ethan? I did it and I fucking took it with a smile because I knew that somewhere, you were not just happy but alive. You were fucking alive and your life was that important to me. So to me, I had won because whatever I did or whatever he did, you were safe and that’s all my life consisted of, keeping you alive.”
I swiped my thumb over the tear that was trickling down his cheek before I palmed his face.
“If I let that fear eat me up for even one second Ethan, then my life was over because I knew it would consume me and suffocate me. And I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want Kyle’s control to rule us anymore.”
His eyes bore into mine with so much intensity I ached at his desperation. “We are finally together and I need you, all of you, Ethan. Not just the part of you that isn’t scared to live, but every single fucking part of you. I don’t just want the happy part of you, I want to demolish your fear, and I want to share your pain. I want your sad days because I want to feel them all with you and bring you a smile. But I won’t let them govern us, baby, we control them. They ask us for permission to surface because we own them, not Kyle and not the feelings Kyle tries to incur on us.”
He stared at me, silent and penetrating as he took my words and processed them before a soft smile lifted his lips and he nodded slowly. “I am yours, baby. All of me, every tiny piece of me is yours and it always will be. And God damn, I fucking love you.”
He palmed my face and brushed his lips over mine before he pressed in and swept my heart up in such an emotional kiss I felt the song his soul sang as he loved me and adored me with just his lips.
He twirled my nose and furrowed his brow. “What’s the opposite of kryptonite?”
I frowned at him, “Uhh, I have no idea.”
“It’s just that kryptonite weakens Superman but you feed me baby, you give me strength. So you’re my opposite of kryptonite…”
I nodded at him, my tongue between my teeth to curb my laughter at his serious face.
“Spinach!” he suddenly declared.
“Uhh, wasn’t that Popeye?” I asked hesitantly.
“Same thing” he reasoned.
“Oh yeah, Ethan. I always saw the resemblance between Superman and Popeye; two peas in a pod.” I smirked as he scowled at me.
He waved off my comment and sighed happily. “You’re my spinach, baby.”
How nice!
Chapter 21
“Now, you promise to stay with E?” he requested for the eighth time that morning.
I nodded dutifully, “Yes, Ethan. I promise to stay with E at all times. I shall check in with you at regular intervals, master and I will put my life on
hold while you are gone.”
His face tightened considerably as he glowered at me but I grinned widely and fluttered my eyelashes lightly until a smile crept up his face.
“I’m gonna miss you, baby.” He whispered as he twirled the tip of my nose with his own, his signature display of affection always pulled at my heart and I brushed my lips over his.
“Me too.”
A light flashed from somewhere and we both blinked at the brightness of the explosion of paparazzi cameras.
“Time to go” Romeo urged before we were swamped by the press.
“Go steady in the fight to get out and don’t say anything to them” Bulk advised me and I gave him a smile and a nod before Ethan kissed me feverishly and almost desperately.
“By the way…” he whispered against my lips.
“I love you” I mouthed to him as he disappeared with the rest of the band through the private departure gate.
“Ready?” E asked from beside me. I nodded back at her and trusted her and the airport security to get us out of here without getting trampled in the press’s resolution to get a story.
“Straight through, not a glance, not a word and definitely not a ‘fall flat on your arse’ moment” the guard directed as E winked at me and I laughed.
“If anything it will be a face plant not an arse tumble.”
They both laughed as a few guards surrounded us and escorted us through the building and into a waiting car.
“Is it always like this?” I blew out a relieved breath when we scrambled into the back of the car.
E nodded sadly. “I’m afraid so but you’ll get used to it. Room 103 don’t get a private life. That’s the price of fame.”
Thrilling Heaven (Room 103) Page 13
