“What can I get for you?” the husky voice washes over me like a smooth whiskey. I don’t even want to look up. I’m positive the voice is going to belong to someone sexy as sin. I’m a glutton for punishment. I swear God must be putting everyone through their end of the world trials, to see who he’s going to keep alive after everything else dies. I don’t think my poor heart can take anymore shit.
A cocked eyebrow is waiting for my reply. I clear my throat, and my voice still cracks. “I’ll take whatever is on tap.”
I get a nod in return, and nothing else. My eyes track every movement this sexy man makes. Trying to not be obvious about it, I close my eyes. Of all the people in the world to work at this damn bar, it would be HIM. Of course, the firefighter I saw at the hospital the day I took my brother to the emergency room. I hear a glass being placed on the bar, so I stick my hand out to grab it. I take a long drink and put it back down with a thud. Still looking down, I see he’s lingering in front of me. I’m not ready to look at him again. It’s rare that a guy bats for my team. It’s cool, it’s hard to find someone who does.
“So, how’s your brother?” That startles the shit out of me. How the hell does he know about Jayden?
“Excuse me?” I ask, confusion etched onto my face.
“I was in the ER when they were talking about him. And they happened to say that his brother was in the waiting room. When I walked out I remember seeing you. Since you were the only one in the waiting room, I figured you were his brother.” He tells me.
“Oh, he’s okay. His body will wake up when it’s ready. That’s what we’re being told anyway.”
“Yeah that kind of thing is complicated. It just depends on how the body heals. The brain is a tricky thing. Being drugged and having a seizure? That’s a nasty combination. I hope things turn out well, though.”
Why is this guy talking to me? “Thanks, man.” All I get in return is a sexy smile. I could say panty dropping, or would it be brief dropping? I like that better.
“So, are you a Marine?” He’s still talking to me?
“Yeah, I’ll have to be going back to work soon. I’m off for a few days for everything that happened.”
“Would you maybe… want to hang out sometime?”
Excuse me? “And do what?”
“I don’t know, do you like sports? We could catch a game sometime. Or you look like you run, I run. We could go for a run.”
Confusion must be pretty evident on my face, because he starts laughing. And my God, his laugh. It sends shivers down my spine.
“Listen…” He looks at me expectantly.
“Jonah.” I reply.
“Jonah. I just figured you could use some distraction right now. Even if it’s us going out for a run. Nothing is more freeing and relaxing than a run, right?”
“I don’t even know your name.” I tell him, trying to sound apprehensive. I would love nothing more, than to get sweaty with this man, even if it isn’t the activity I have in mind to get us there.
“I’m Kyle, nice to meet you.” He sticks his hand out across the bar. I reach out and place my hand in his. And I swear to you, a shock is sent through my body. I really hope this guy is gay, I’ll be seriously devastated if he isn’t. He continues, “Let me give you my phone number and you can send me a text so I have yours.”
I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head, I would like to use this number for and running isn’t one of them. I pull up a blank text message and look up at him in anticipation. I type in his number as he rattles it off and send him a blank text message.
“There now you have my number.” I stand up and down the rest of my beer. “I’m going to head out. I need to get back home.”
“Okay, Jonah.” He says my name with purpose, and damn if it doesn’t do things to me. “Just text me if you want to hang out.” With that, he smiles at me and turns to walk away.
My feet feel like they’re cinder blocks. Why is walking away from him so hard? I just want to turn around and go back to him and shove him in my pocket. Shaking my head at myself, I continue on my way to my car.
The drive home seems to take forever. With my mind going a million different directions at once, I mainly wonder why he would want to hang out with me? I don’t act gay, so I doubt he knows. It all just seems weird to me.
I walk into the apartment and head straight to the shower. I need to wash the last couple days away. Sometimes, just standing under the scalding hot spray of the water can make me feel ten times better. I strip out of my jeans and t-shirt and flip the water on. I hop in without letting the water warm up, big mistake! The arctic water has me jumping out of the line of fire. Dammit. If I wasn’t awake before, I am now.
I brave the water again once it warms up enough for me to handle it. I tip my head back under the spray, letting the water roll down over my face. I brace myself by placing my hands against the wall in front of me. Standing there, my thoughts keep streamlining back to Kyle.
I can’t help but wonder how his body looks without his uniform or clothes in general. Tonight, I could tell he is fit. He works out like I do, being a fireman, he would have to. They put in hard work, saving people’s lives and homes.
Kyle’s hair is so brown it almost looks black, but he has bright blue eyes. This killer combination is my Achilles heel. Remembering his voice and the way his lips move, it isn’t long until I can feel it in my dick. Wanting to fight off the urge to grab ahold of it, I try to avert my thoughts to other things. A vagina, a baby coming out of a vagina,a girl crying. Fuck, it’s not working. Slightly disgusted with myself, I reach down and slowly stroke my cock a couple times, only making it painfully harder. It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself any type of release. It seems one encounter with the sexy fireman and I’m ready to forget everything.
I rub two fingers over the tip, spreading the pre cum that’s already gathered there. Closing my fist, I sheathe my cock in my hand and I don’t start off slow either. I start furiously pumping my hand back and forth. My muscles slowly tense with my coming release. It’s been far too long. Shutting my eyes tight, my thoughts go straight to Kyle on his knees. He is in front of me, opening his mouth ready to take my full cock in his mouth. His hands run over my balls, gently squeezing and tugging on them. Then, he runs a finger over my taint, but the image that sends me over the edge is of him deep throating my dick. I come with a roar, shooting my seed all over the side of the shower.
Jesus, if I can come that hard just fantasizing about him, I wonder what the real thing would be like?
“You’re such a cute little baby, yes you are!” Josh and I are chilling in my room, on my bed. When we’re home, this seems to be the place we like to hang out. Okay, so I like to hang out here. Not like Joshy has a choice. He is cooing at me, making tons of cute facial expressions. I love when he makes a little “o” with his mouth, and starts kicking his legs furiously. I usually only get that look when he’s hungry, that or a scream.
I spend a lot of time staring at my baby. It’s so hard when he looks just like his daddy. It’s been a couple days since we were released from the hospital, but I haven’t been able to go back yet. I’m torn between wanting to spend time with Jayden and wanting to be at home with our son. Janey calls and texts a couple times a day, asking about us. I think that I’ll have her come over today, so I can go spend some timeat the hospital. Maybe I can get Jonah to come with me. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen Jonah. In reality, it’s only been a couple days.
I gaze back over to Josh, and he’s passed out cold. Well, I suppose I could put him in his swing, and hop in the shower. I’m starting to be able to smell myself. Ew. I slide off the bed, pick him up and gently place him in his swing. Turning it on low, I watch him for a few minutes to make sure he stays asleep. Satisfied he’s going to stay asleep, I turn away, start grabbing my clean clothes and head into the shower. It’s going to be so nice to clean myself.
I called Janey to come watch her grandso
n, and she all too happily agreed to come over. She said she needed some baby snuggles. Jonah couldn’t come with me to the hospitaltoday. So here I am, back in the place that I absolutely hate, to visit my fiancé. He is still in the ICU, which sucks. This place feels more sterile and at the same time nastier than the rest of the hospital… and more final.
Signing in at the nurse’s desk, they tell me which room is his. I try to walk quietly, but it feels like every eye in here is on me, all of them wondering what my story is. God, I hate hospitals. His room is at the end of the hall, away from everyone else. Taking a deep breath, I open the door. The first thing I notice is how tiny he looks in the bed. The machines beeping are a close second. Blinking rapidly to try to keep the tears from falling, I walk into the room further. I grab a chair and pull it right next to his bed. I sit my purse down on the floor, out of the way. Sitting down, I immediately grab his hand and hold it tight, unsure of what to do except stare at him.
I never got this moment with my parents. I was never able to see them. They were pronounced dead on the scene. And their funerals were closed casket. Even though Jayden isn’t conscious, and God forbid he doesn’t make it, at least I have this time with him.
My eyes rake over his body. He still looks the same. I don’t know what I imagined, but it wasn’t this. He looks like he’s sleeping. The door opens behind me and I about jump out of my skin.
“Hi, honey. How are you this afternoon?” the overly cheerful nurse asks me.
“I’m fine, how are you?” I say politely.
“Great! It’s a beautiful day! Now, I haven’t seen you in here the past couple days. Can I ask what your relationship to the patient is?”
Um, okay. “I’m his fiancée.”
“Oh! How wonderful! Well, we definitely need him to wake up then huh?”
“Well, I would think you would want him to wake up regardless.”
“True, we do want him to wake up. I’m just trying to stay in a positive mood. And you, my dear, look like you could use some positive.” She smiles brightly at me. “Now, how often can we expect to see you up here?”
I clear my throat, “I’m not sure. I had to have his mom come and watch our newborn son just so I could get up here today.”
She frowns at me. “Honey, if there is anything I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to ask. My name is Ashley and I’ll be his second shift nurse for the foreseeable future.”
I nod at her, it’s the only thing I can manage. I’m so used to thinking the worst of every person I meet and generally I’m right. But lately, I’ve been dead wrong, on everyone. She exits the room after that, leaving me alone with Jayden. I turn my attention back to him. I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do here. Am I supposed to talk to him? Or will that do no good?
A few more minutes of just staring at him, and an idea pops into my head. I should write him letters every time I come up here. For him to have something to read when he wakes up. Because he will. I can tell him about Josh’s birth and everything he’s missed since then. Getting up out of the chair, I rush out of the room and back towards the nurse’s desk.
“Hey! I’m so sorry, but do you have some paper I can have? And possibly a pen?” I ramble so fast that it all sounds like one big run on sentence.
“Sure, honey, let me grab it for you.” The random nurse gives me a strange look, but obliges my request.
After a thank you shouted in her direction, I’m on my way back to his room. Once in there, I use the tray table thing and set up shop. I get it at the right height and pull it over to my chair. I sit staring at the paper for a few minutes, trying to figure out where I wanted to start the retelling of our son’s birth.
A couple hours later, and I have five pages worth of a birth story. I freaked out and decided to include every single detail. Next time, I’ll come prepared for this and bring my own notebook. Better yet, I’ll just leave them all in the notebook so that way there is no chance of losing any of them. Gathering my things, I put his room back to how it was when I got there. Glancing at the time, I realize I have been here longer than what I told Janey I would be. Oops. I kiss Jayden on the lips a couple times, wishing for nothing more than to feel him respond. But he doesn’t. I head back out of the hospital and back to my car so I can go back home. Back to my self-imposed, solitary confinement. Plus I miss my baby.
I call and place a to-go order at The Cheesecake Factory. Since coming home, all I’ve been eating is the homemade food everyone keeps dropping off. It’s really wonderful that they’re doing that, but its all food that I can’t stand the sight of. It’s time for something I actually want to eat, thank you very much. I love Chicken Marsala. It is one of my all-time favorites!
When I make it home, I see Jonah’s car in my driveway too. He must have come over to get his baby time in before he has to head in to work for a couple days. He’s such a good uncle. He is generally really good with Josh. Although, he went to change a diaper the other day and immediately handed him to me. Apparently, Uncle Jonah doesn’t change shitty diapers. I did nothing but laugh at him, which he didn’t find funny at all. I can’t wait to see how Jayden is with Josh.
I grab all of my stuff and walk to the front door. Opening it, I’m not prepared for what I find. In front of me, three grown adults are lying on the floor all surrounding the tiny human. All of them are talking to him in baby talk. I scramble to get my phone out and sneak a picture. It might not be the best quality, but this is so getting blown up and given to Janey for her birthday.
My cover is busted when the shutter sound goes off. They all stop what they’re doing and stare at me, phone in hand and goofy smile on my face.
“I think you guys are way worse than me with the baby talk!” I laugh.
“Yeah, well, they guilted me into lying on the floor with them. Their enthusiasm with talking to him just rubbed off I guess.” He shrugged sheepishly.
“Oh, whatever, son! You’re the one that came in here, took him, laid him on the floor and started talking to him! We just followed your lead buddy!” his dad guffaws. The joy they get out of their grandson thrills me. I’m so happy that we have family around, to help and to love him the way he deserves.
I look over to Janey, “Sorry it took me so long, I ended up there longer than I expected.”
“That’s okay, honey. We want you to go see him.” She smiles as she runs her hand down my arm.
I give her a small smile, I know she’s hurting too. We all are. “Can you guys come back by tomorrow, and I’ll go see him again?”
“We sure can, sweetheart. We’ll go see him in the morning, grab lunch, and then head over here. That way you can eat before you go up.”
“Thanks, this means so much to me.” I give her and Jim a hug before they head out, but Jonah stalls in the living room. I wonder what this one wants. I wave at their parents as they back out of the driveway, then shut the door.
“You Miller boys all seem to need something from me, so what is it Jonah?” I joke with him. He seems to have turned all serious on me.
He sits down on the couch, as I shut the door. I pick Josh up from his spot on the floor. He has claimed just about every surface in my house with his things. Getting him in his swing, I cover him up and turn it on medium.
“I’m going to grab a water, do you want something before we start the heavy talk?” I ask Jonah, but it seems like he is off in his own world. I clap my hands a couple times and that gets his attention.
“What? Did you say something?” His brows furrowed in confusion.
“Do you want something to drink? A beer perhaps?” I say sarcastically. “Oh. Yeah, a beer. Or whatever you have would be fine.” He looks back down at his
Shaking my head, I turn towards the kitchen to grab myself a water and a beer for the distracted thing on my couch.
“Here you go, ice cold beer for your troubles.” I laugh at my funny, and he just stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. I probably have, considering.
“So
, do you want to just spit it out? Or do you need me to play twenty questions?”
“Well… I guess I should just spit it out.” I wave my hand at him, telling him to get on with it. I’m not generally a patient person, or am I one for beating around the bush.
“So, I’ve met someone. But there’s something you need to know about me.” He says cautiously.
“What’s his name?” I say bluntly. And I swear to God, his expression is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Shock and wariness fill his features. I start laughing, this whole situation is just too funny not to laugh. I’ve been thinking that he was gay for a while now.
“What? I mean… Huh? How?” His stuttering makes me laugh more. “You know, if you’re going to laugh, I could just leave and you’ll never get all the juicy gossip you want.”
Still laughing, I try to calm down to tell him, “Oh, you know I’m not laughing at you. Your face was just priceless. You would have laughed too, if you would have seen it.”
“Uh huh, I’ll just take your word for it. Are you calmed down enough to listen now?”
I’m still smiling like a loon, but I nod my head. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say.
“Well, I’m not going to ask how you knew. We’re not starting from the beginning. I don’t even want to go there with you, but seeing as the majority of my friends don’t know, I’m electing you to listen to me.” I don’t think he took a breath at all saying that. But I stay silent, letting him know I’m ready to listen.
“So, the night of the accident I was sitting in the waiting area of the ER, waiting for any information on Jayden to fill you in. When the doors open, I looked up thinking that maybe the doctor had come out to take mercy on me, but instead a fireman was walking out…. In full uniform. I’m not sure why he was even there. All I could think about, was how fucking sexy he looked. My brother is in the ER, for being drugged and practically molested, and all I could think about was what he looked like naked. I mean FUCK! What kind of person does that make me?!” His chest is heaving, his emotions getting the better of him. He stands up and starts stalking back in forth in my tiny living room.
Living Chances (Unexpected Series Book 3) Page 2
