IA_Initiate

by John Darryl Winston

  As he made his way back to his room, he wondered if she were awake and thinking about her test in the morning. Was she nervous, or did she even care? He had promised to take her to the festival downtown after the test if she did her very best. They hadn’t gone in over two years. But how will I know if she did her best? Dr. Gwen won’t know how she did until Monday, he remembered. But he had a feeling she would do her best because all she ever did was her best. Meri wasn’t as tied to Higginbotham or her friends there as much as she was to the Exclave itself. She had been to as many different schools as he had, in as many different years, so she hadn’t put down any permanent roots either.

  As he got back in bed, he decided the easiest way to avoid the nightmare would be to stay up the rest of the night. It was only a few hours before he would get up anyway. They needed to get an early start. The test was scheduled for nine o’clock in the morning. They would have to take the Helix: an automated, winding, elevated train that connected many parts of the Exclave to the suburbs and downtown. It would be an hour-and-a-half ride to International Academy. They had both been on the train a few times before with their mother, but never to the suburbs. His eyelids slowly grew heavy as he thought about how he and Meri had taken the Helix downtown to the festival with their mother. Yesterday would’ve been Momma’s birthday. We always went to the festival on Momma’s birthday, he thought.

  “She loved to go to the festival,” he said as he drifted in and out of consciousness.“Momma loved to go to the festival,” he mumbled. As he gave in to sleep, one thought linked to another, and he was back in the nightmare—and, of course, he didn’t realize it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  NIGHTMARE

  “HEY, Ma,” said Naz,as his mother came through the front door.“Are we still going to the festival today?”

  Camille had only worked half the day just so she could go to the festival.“Yes, but you need to hurry up, both you and your sister. I told you to be ready when I got home.”

  “I am ready.” Naz took off his guitar and threw it on the sofa.

  “You know how he feels about you leaving things lying around. Where’s your sister?”

  “How would I know? Am I my sister’s keeper?”

  “Yes … you are,” she said pointedly "When I’m not here, you are your sister’s keeper … and you need to stop trying to quote the Bible … or whatever you think you heard in Sunday school, youlittle heathen.” She laughed.

  Naz laughed as he grabbed his guitar and ran up the stairs.

  “Hey, Ma!” calledMeri as she passed Naz on her way down the stairs.“We still goin’?” She ran and gave her mother a leaping hug.

  “My goodness, Meri.Of course… I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re ready … dressed like a little tomboy. We’re gonna have to get you some pinks and some yellows and some …”

  “I won’t wear ’em!”

  “I know you won’t, but it’s a nice thought.”

  Camille’s expression changed as she heard a familiar sound. She moved to look out the front window. Her greatest fear was realized. It was her husband, Bearn, home from work early. She had promised him she wouldn’t go to the festival anymore, but she couldn’t stay away. She figured she could take a half-day off here or there, and no one would be the wiser. She didn’t think she had to worry about Naz or Meri letting the cat out of the bag because they knew the ramifications all too well.

  “Go upstairs with your brother.”

  “But, Ma …”

  “Now! What did I tell you about talking so much, Meri? Now go!” She tried to appear calm, but the urgency in her voice gave her desperation away.

  Meri ran up the stairs to find Naz looking out the window in his room.

  “What is he doing here?” Naz asked. “He never gets off early.”

  Meri joined him at the window.“And he doesn’t look happy either. Why is he just sitting there?” she asked.

  “Because he’s thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?”

  “It doesn’t matter. When he gets done, it’s not gonna be anything nice. He must’ve found out we’re going to the festival.”

  “So what? What’s the big deal about going to the festival? He can go with us.”

  “No, he can’t!”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know, but he can’t!” And then it came to him. Helooked at Meri suspiciously.“You told him.”

  “He already knew. He called home an hour ago and asked what time we were leaving.”

  “He didn’t know, Meri. He tricked you. I told you. You can’t trust him.”

  “He’s my dad.”

  “I know but … I thought I told you not to answer the phone anyway.”

  “I kept telling you the phone was ringing, but you were playing that stupid guitar with your headphones on, and I tried …”

  “Wait!” He puthis hand up to stop her from talking.“He’s getting out.”

  A native of the Exclave with no hope of parole, Bearn Slaughter was by any measure a giant of a man. He easily stood at six-foot-six and tipped the scales at a whopping three hundred-plus pounds. He had thick, wavy, jet-black hair that he always wore in a single braid down his back. He failed at almost everything he tried, but was a master manipulator, and this skill often got him in, or back in, whatever game he had set his sights on. Word had it that he used this skill of manipulation to ensnare Camille during a time of uncertainty. In Naz’s opinion, Bearn was a bully and a fiend, and he wondered what his mother ever saw in him. He wondered if his father could’ve been anything like“him.” His physical stature was matched only by his temper, which was in full force today as he made his way into the Slaughter house.

  “Maybe we should call somebody,” said Meri.

  “Who? Momma has nobody else … but us.”

  “The police.”

  “Like the last two times? They never came anyway,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Well, we’ve got to do something!”

  “Shhh ….”

  The door opened and shut. They could hear Camille say,“hey, honey,” and that was all. There was a crack that resembled the sound of a lone firecracker on the Fourth of July. Meri immediately bolted down the stairs.

  “Meri!” Naz called. He swore and then mumbled to himself,“I am my sister’s keeper,” as he shot down the stairs after her.

  “Daddy!” Meri screamed as she flew down the stairs.

  “I told you not to call me that!” Bearn yelled as he turned to put his huge finger in Meri’s face.

  “Get your hand out of her face!” Camille yelled. She was holding the side of her face where Bearn had just struck her.

  Bearn was holding Camille’s wrist, and in swift retaliation for her command, he struck her again with his closed hand, on the side of her head, this time sending her crashing to the floor like a rag doll. Knowing Camille would run, he never let go of her wrist.

  Meri screamed and covered her ears.

  “Shut up, brat!” shouted Bearn at Meri, but she kept on screaming.

  “Let her go!” pleaded Naz.

  Bearn ignored Naz as if he wasn’t even in the room.

  “Let her go, Bearn!” Naz shouted again, as Meri kept screaming and crying.

  With blood now streaming down the side of her head, Camille had already made one attempt to get up, but dazed, she fell back to the floor, half dangling as Bearn maintained his vise-like grip around her wrist. Meri continued to scream and cry frantically.

  “I told you to shut up!” said Bearn as he made a motion to hit Meri with his free hand.

  “Leaveher alone!” Naz implored.

  “And I told you not to go there anymore, didn’t I? You’re not going anywhere … again … ever,” Bearn threatened Camille.

  What does that mean? Naz thought.

  “I’ll go anywhere I want!” Camille managed to shout back in anger. She was still dazed and trying to get to her feet.

  Naz saw the look on Bearn’s face,
and he knew his mother was about to die if he didn’t do something. He looked for something—anything—to hit Bearn with, but there was nothing lying around. When Bearn reared back to hit Camille again, Naz ran into Bearn with everything he had. He knocked the giant back and managed to free his mother.

  “Run, Ma!” Naz screamed.

  Meri stopped screaming and ran over to Camille.

  “Come on, Ma. Get up,” she said, helping Camille to her feet.

  Now, Naz stood facing Bearn.

  “Oh, I’ve been waiting for this. There’s nothing special about you,” Bearn sneered at Naz with a smile.

  Naz looked puzzled, and Bearn rounded on him in a second. Naz actually made Bearn miss twice, but his mistake came when he tried to block Bearn’s punch. He hit Naz on the side of the jaw with a glancing blow that sent him flying back and up into the air. Naz landed on his back and immediately jumped to his feet, only to fall back down again. He lay there with his eyes closed. For a moment he didn’t know where he was. When he opened his eyes, the world looked slightly fractured, and he saw two of everything. He closed his eyes and shook his head, but when he opened them again nothing had changed so he closed them once again.

  But then finally, someone was there to help them. Naz couldn’t see them, but he could hear them, or was it just one person? he thought. It didn’t matter. It was a man’s voice, a voice he wasn’t sure he recognized, but the man arrived just in time.

  “What are you doing? I’ll kill you!” the voice said.

  Relieved, Naz opened his eyes to his fractured world again to see his mother on Bearn’s back. She was hitting him on his shoulders and in the back of his head, and screaming all the while. Meri was screaming again, too. But where’s the man? Why isn’t he helping? wondered Naz.

  “I’ll kill you!” the voice said again.

  Well, get on with it, Naz thought.

  “Somebody help, somebody help,” the voice kept saying.

  Naz started to realize, just as he could feel himself losing consciousness that no one was really there. No one was there to help him or Meri. No one was there to save his mother. Just before his eyes closed, he saw his mother flying through the air, and he heard a crash and glass breaking. He loved his mother a lot but hated Bearn even more, and now he wanted him dead. What would he and Meri do without their mother? He imagined himself as a giant, even bigger than Bearn. He put his huge hands around Bearn’s pitiful neck, and with all the love, anger, and fear he could muster, he squeezed the life out of Bearn. There was a loud thud, and then Naz was awake again.

  He opened his eyes to find Meri sitting on the steps. He walked over to her and focused his eyes only on her. He was afraid to look around. He reached up to touch the side of his head. His face was numb and horribly swollen. He was thinking his jaw at the very least must be broken, and he could hear a constant ringing in his ear. When he was close enough, he could see Meri’s eyes were red, but there were no more tears. When he tried to speak, the pain was unbearable. With no emotion, she gave an almost imperceptible nod, directing him to turn around. Bearn lay there motionless on his back, his head to the side. He had one hand around his own neck, and foam coming from his mouth. Unmoved by this scene, Naz turned slowly to see first his mother’s legs, then the rest of her in a bed of blood and glass. She had been thrown through the dining room table.

  “Ma!” Naz gave a strangled yell, as he sat up and saw Meri sitting at the foot of his bed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA’

  “WHAT are you doing?” Naz asked, sitting up disoriented.“How’d you get in here?”

  “It wasn’t locked,” said Meri, looking at his bedroom door.

  “I forgot to lock it.”

  “Momma?”

  Naz nodded, looking at the clock on his nightstand.“Why are you up anyway? You should be asleep. You worried about the test?”

  “No,” she shook her head.

  “Is it Momma?”

  “Uh-huh,” she nodded in camaraderie.

  “So, what do you wanna do?”

  She smiled, jumped off the bed, and then returned a second later from under his bed with his chess set.

  “Now?” he asked.

  “We have time,” she said, looking at his clock.“Why is this still under your bed anyway?”

  “I was hoping that if I left it there, you would forget about it.”

  “Not likely,” she said, smiling deviously.

  “I should’ve never taught you how to play. I really don’t feel like playing.”

  “I think, you’re just scared.”

  “Your little mind games don’t work on me. You’ll have to do better than that if you wanna get me to play.” He paused in shallow thought for a few seconds, then nodded his head and continued.“Actually, I could work off some stress. Maybe I will beat up on you again.”

  “You’re gonna lose, ’cause you’re already rattled from your little nightmare, but not yet, we have to sing ‘Happy Birthday’first.”

  “We what?” he asked, baffled.

  “‘Happy Birthday.’ Today would’ve been momma’s birthday and …”

  “Yesterday would’ve been Momma’s birthday.”

  “Look,” she said, pointing to the window.“The sun hasn’t come up yet, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s not a new day. Anyway, every year we go through this and never say anything about it. You end up having nightmares, and I can’t sleep.”

  “And you think this will help?”

  “I think if we don’t talk about it, it’ll just keep building up. We need to purge.”

  “Purge? You read too much.”

  “You don’t read enough.”

  “Says who?” He put his head down again for a moment, then looked up and conceded.“OK, I’ll make a deal with you. We get to take turns asking each other questions—any questions we want—and the other one has to answer, or the deal’s off and no birthday song.”

  “How many questions?”

  “As many as it takes until we’re both satisfied.”

  “Only if I get togo first,” Meri said excitedly.

  “So let it be written. So let it be done.”

  “And when we’re done, we sing.”

  “I guess.”

  “No. We have to shake on it. Deal,” she said.

  They shook hands the old-fashioned way.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  REVELATIONS

  SHE set up the chess set placing the white pieces on her side, made her first move, and then said,“Tell me about your nightmare.”

  “That’s not a question, and this is gonna be a short game if that’s your best move,” said Naz.

  “OK, what did you dream about?”

  “That’s a wasted question. You know what I dreamed about. It’s always the same. Although, I am different in the dream now.”

  “How?”

  He made his first move and then replied,“I’m older, like I am now, and everyone else is the same, but it doesn’t make a difference. She still dies.”

  “She was murdered. He killed her.”

  “The coroner said both causes of death were accidents. He was your dad. Do you really think he meant to kill her? It’s your move by the way.” Naz loved his mother, but blamed her for something that he could not explain. It was just a feeling. If nothing else, he resented her for the years that he couldn’t remember and for her absence from them.

  “I know,” she said, frustrated.“And he wasn’t my dad. I don’t have a dad. And how can you say that? She was your mother, too. You didn’t see what I saw. Your eyes were closed.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere. Tell me what you saw, Meri. I mean,what did you see that day? Tell me everything.”

  She moved one of her chess pieces then swallowed hard.“You sure you wanna know?”

  He nodded, countering her move immediately.

  Meri stared at the board and took a deep breath.“After he hit you, Momma jumped on his back and star
ted hitting him on his shoulders and head.” Meri closed her eyes as the images flashed through her mind. She then continued,“He reached up, grabbed her by her arms, and flung her over his head onto the dining room table.”

  Naz knew all of this from what she had told the police, but he also knew there was more she hadn’t told the police, something she kept from them, and everyone else.

  “What else, Meri? Do you remember what happened after I passed out?”

  “Like it was yesterday. And … you never passed out,” she said, making her next move.

  “Slow down and concentrate. You’re gonna make a careless mistake in a minute.”

  “I know what I’m doing. Anyway, you were sitting there with your eyes closed, but you weren’t unconscious. What were youdoing?”

  “It was the first time I heard the voices … well, voice. I thought that somebody had come to help. That’s when I think I passed out,” he said, sliding one of his pieces across the board.

  “After he threw Momma, he turned toward me. I looked at you just sitting there with your eyes closed, and I knew he would kill me next, and then you. That’s when I cried. I cried every tear I had, and I prayed the way Momma taught me. Then something happened. ‘He’ grabbed his throat, and for a long time he tried to cough or talk or something, but nothing came out. Then he fell flat on his back and never moved again. I wiped my eyes, and that’s when you got up and walked over to me.”

  Naz was silent for a while as he pondered her words.

  She picked up one of her white pieces and put it in the place of one of his black pieces. Removing his black piece from the board,she added,“And it wasn’t the first time I saw you do that,either.”

  “Do what? What do you mean? What did I do?”

  “It’s my turn.”

  “Wait, hold up …”

  “No, it’s my turn!”

  Naz nodded his head as he relented.

  “What do you remember about your dad?” she asked.

  “That’s not fair. We’re talkin’about Momma.”

  “So what? Our deal wasn’t limited to Momma. You said we could ask whatever we wanted. You came up with the rules.”