“Yes Corporal!” the platoon yelled back.
“Alright, let’s go.”
The pace started out as a march, then changed to a fast walk and then a slow jog. The typical, ‘Left, Right, Left, Right’, soon morphed into a song led by Master Corporal Girardi.
“Up jumped a Ranger from a coconut grove,”
“He was a mean motherfucker you could tell by his clothes!”
“He wore a two button beanie with a three button stitch,”
“He was a cock-sucking, motherfucking, son-of-a-bitch!”
“He lined a hundred hookers up against a wall,”
“Made a $2 bet he could fuck them all!”
“He fucked 98 until his balls turned blue,”
“Then he wacked off, jacked off, fucked the other two!”
“And when he died he went to hell,”
“Where he fucked the Devil’s daughter and his wife as well!”
“And on his tombstone it did read,”
“Here lies the body of a fucking machine!”
After about thirty minutes of light running, they returned to the barracks.
“I want everybody out at the back of the drill hall in five minutes with your CADPAT, your weapon and your shield. Leave everything else here in your footlocker! Now double time it!” Master Corporal Girardi barked.
The recruits scrambled back into the barracks.
Xander fumbled with his gear and ran out of the barracks to the back of the hall. He was one of the last to arrive and only narrowly avoided getting push-ups from Corporal Crozier. That privilege again went to Jack.
“Gimme twenty push-ups Ashton!” Corporal Crozier shouted.
Jack dropped to the ground and did twenty push-ups, careful to add ‘Corporal Crozier’ to each and every single push-up and then stood back up.
“Who the fuck told you to stand up recruit?” Corporal Crozier screamed. “That’s some set of balls you got on you Ashton! Drop down and give me twenty more! And don’t you dare stand up until I tell you to!”
Jack groaned and did another twenty push-ups with some difficulty and held the push-up position while Corporal Crozier stared at Jack’s arms trembling and shaking.
Finally, Corporal Crozier said, “On your feet recruit!”
Jack stood up, face beet red and panting, then stood at attention. A few other recruits stumbled out and got the exact same punishment for their tardiness. Then the platoon formed up and Master Corporal Girardi was about to address them when someone behind Xander spoke up.
“Corporal, may I ask a question?”
“You can ask it, but I’ll choose if I answer it. Go ahead Private.”
“Thank you Corporal. That song we sang while we ran. It was totally un-PC. It was sexist, misogynistic and totally inappropriate for the 21st century. Can’t we sing something else when we run?”
“Holy. ..Fucking.... Christ! Listen up, you fucking pussy. This goes for all of you other fucking pussies as well! This is the fucking Army, not the fucking Boy Scouts! We go places, break things and fucking kill people. I don’t give a shit if any of you pampered little wimps doesn’t like that song. That’s what we’re going to sing when we run and there’s no two ways about it. So grow a fucking pair already! Got it?”
“Yes Master Corporal Girardi!” The platoon screamed back at him.
“Good.” His voice dropped a couple octaves and Girardi continued, “Now I’m going to give you fucking pussies a break. Believe it or not, we know yesterday was a hard start, so everyone form up for medical parade! Each and every one of you will speak to a medic and inform him/her of any ailments which may prevent you from participating in today’s activities.”
Today’s activities, Xander thought. Jesus Christ. Master Corporal Girardi made it sound like they were on a fucking cruise ship, not in boot camp.
“Now that doesn’t mean you report hang nails or your dick didn’t work right when you tried jerking off last night. That means you report any injuries you may have sustained. Even a minor injury can turn into a serious one if not addressed right away. Believe it or not, the instructors and myself are not here to kill you, even though you may think that way!” Master Corporal Girardi said with an evil grin.
The recruits from each platoon lined up and each talked with a medic who sat behind a curtain. Xander got to speak to a pretty young corporal who checked his vitals and gave Xander a quick once over. Her nametag read ‘Yang.’
“You look healthy enough. Anything you think I should know about?”
“The only complaint I have is that I’m sore almost everywhere. Other than that, I’m okay, Corporal.”
“Yeah, I heard you guys had a pretty hard day yesterday and will probably have a few more ahead of you.”
Corporal Yang passed him a couple of blister packs, “Here, take a couple ibuprofen, it’ll take the edge off. There’s two more for after supper. Watch to make sure you don’t over-exert yourself – if you sprain something, or worse, break a bone, you’ll be out of action for a long time and you’ll have to do training over,” Corporal Yang told him.
“How am I supposed to not over-exert myself? If I don’t hustle every second of the day, I get my ass chewed off,” Xander replied.
“Here’s some free advice. There’s hustle and then there’s hustle. You don’t always have to be first at everything, placing second or third is good enough and the instructors won’t know the difference…but your body sure will. But if you tell anyone I told you that, I’ll deny it to my grave,” she smiled. “Now, go on and get out of here. Next!”
Xander stumbled out and almost bumped into Corporal Crozier. Xander immediately snapped to attention.
“Well recruit?” He barked.
“She said take two and call her in the morning, Corporal Crozier!” Xander replied.
Corporal Crozier grinned and pointed behind him, “Water fountain is over there recruit, be back here in two minutes!”
“Yes, Corporal Crozier!” Xander ran down the hall took a long drink of water and swallowed both pills, then ran back and got into ranks.
--------
Xander quickly found out that the worst insult one of the drill instructors could use against you was ‘individual’.
During a lecture on how to fight the infected, one of the officers said, “When we’re done training you, you and your section will think like a team and act like one too. The last thing we want are a bunch of individuals running around. Individuals act on their own and think they are goddamn Arnold Schwarzenegger. That kind of thinking will get you and a bunch of other people killed. Together, you will be a well-oiled machine that works and thinks as one. With your section members, you can move mountains, but by yourself, you’re screwed. ”
“Teamwork is the most important lesson we’re trying to teach here. You have to trust your fireteam partner with your life, and he with you. The same goes for your Assault group. If you’re cut off, the four of you form a team capable of holding just about any small enclosed space indefinitely. When your training is done, the guys in your Assault group will be like your brothers. You’ll be together every single minute for the next few months and you’ll get to know each other even closer than your friends, family members, maybe even your wife or girlfriend,” Captain Miller said.
“I’m not interested in any of these sweaty losers getting to know me better than my wife,” someone said from the back of the room.
Captain Miller smiled, “Fair enough recruit, but I think you all get my point. Modern warriors think and act like team, just like sports. No one person can do everything. Even Crosby and McDavid needed wingers to pass to.”
That was the first time in almost two months Xander had even thought about hockey. Normally, the season – both his shinny league and the NHL – would already have been well under way. Instead, he’d spent all of that time trying to stay one step ahead of the undead.
“Any questions?” Captain Miller asked.
Silence greeted him.
There was still more silence, then Frank put up his hand.
“Bigelow, what’s your question?”
“We were told that one in three of us would be dead next year. Is that true?”
“It’s certainly possible. The base fought off three major attacks by the infected last month, and if it hadn’t been for that cold snap mid-month, it probably would have fallen. I know an officer at Division HQ and he told me in confidence that we were this close to evacuating the base during that last attack,” Captain Miller said, holding his index finger and thumb a centimetre apart.
“During that cold snap, we used those two weeks to wipe out lots of infected, sending units in on search and destroy missions. Those missions also rescued hundreds of civilians. But make no mistake, if we can’t eliminate the infected in the city, in the spring, they’ll wipe us out with sheer numbers. Since the weather warmed up again, the infected are more active and more of a threat, and every time we go into the city, we lose a soldier or two. That’s where you guys come in. Once the winter freeze-up happens, your unit will be sent into the city to mop up the infected and rescue any other survivors. We don’t believe that that will be particularly dangerous, as the last cold snap literally froze the infected in their tracks. Then we have a month or two to build defences before spring, when nobody knows what will happen. But if we don’t all work together, we’ll all die together.”
“If we had been forced out of this base, we would have had to withdraw all the way to CFB Cold Lake. That would have condemned everyone left in the region to almost certain death. Based on what’s coming over the radio, Edmonton looks like it’s the last major city left in the country, maybe on the continent. Vancouver, Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal, they are all gone. Victoria fell a week or two after Vancouver. What’s left of Calgary is barely holding, and the handful in Winnipeg is being evacuated as we speak, while Regina and Saskatoon aren’t in much better shape. Other than us, only PEI and Newfoundland are holding the line, and those places only did so because they are islands. Conservative estimates put the number of dead and infected at twenty million. We’re not sure what’s happened in the States, but reports before our communications stopped indicated it was even worse down there, and we have no reliable information on areas outside North America. ”
Most of the platoon looked like they had been gut punched, with many having a stricken look on their face. People knew the situation had been bad, but not that bad.
“Anyone else?” Captain Miller asked.
“When do we get guns? I can’t wait to go Rambo on those zombie jerkwads!” Jack said, his voice rising.
“Don’t ever let an NCO hear you say gun, or they’ll make you look like an ass in front of everyone Private.”
“Why sir?”
“In the Armed Forces, the C-7 is a rifle or a weapon, never a gun. Don’t ever call it a gun…unless you want a royal dressing down from every NCO around you. But I’ll let you in on a secret – your unit is not going to be issued firearms of any kind. Your unit will strictly be a close combat formation. With only two weeks of training, none of you will be well-trained enough to qualify to carry them.”
Now all of the recruits, Xander included, had horrified looks on their faces.
No guns, Xander thought. Well, we’re fucked.
--------
As they shoveled food into their mouths at lunch, Jack piped up, “Did you see that sweet little Asian medic? Fuck, she was hot! ”
“Hell yeah!” Thomas said. “Anyone remember her name?”
“Corporal Chong or Wang or something like that,” Jack said, his voice rising.
“It was Corporal Yang,” Xander said. “And keep your voice down or your big mouth is going to get us in trouble.”
“Yeah, that’s right, Corporal Yang. Fuck man, I’d love to shove my big fucking yin in her sweet, little yang!” Jack guffawed.
Philip nearly choked on his food with that comment, while most of the others guys laughed out loud.
“Man, I bet she love me long time,” Jack continued in a sing-song accent, to more chuckles around the table.
Xander, remembering how Evelyn had been treated, frowned and was about to say something when three soldiers come up behind Jack. Jack was laughing so hard that he didn’t see them.
“Hey runt, are you talking about us?”
Jack turned to see three very big and very angry soldiers behind him. Their shoulder flashes read 1 Field Ambulance.
Oh fuck.
“Who’s asking?” Jack replied nonchalantly.
“1 Field Ambulance, that’s who!” A hulking sergeant named Hunter barked. “Get on your fucking feet, recruit!”
Jack, red-faced, stood up, turning to face them.
“Now you listen up and you listen good, you piece of fucking shit. If any of us ever hear you talk about the good Corporal like that again, we’ll tear you in fucking half!”
By this time, everyone in the mess hall was looking at Jack and the medics from 1 Field Ambulance.
Corporal Crozier ran up to the section, “Sergeant, can I be of assistance?”
“Yes, Corporal, you can get your shitpump recruits in line,” Sergeant Hunter barked, the word recruit dripping like acid from his lips. “Next time I hear this dogfucker disparaging one of my medics, I’ll rip his arms off and beat him to death with them!”
“Yes Sergeant!”
After the three medics stalked off, Corporal Crozier screamed, “Get your fucking asses outside, now!” his voice rising as he shouted.
The entire section got up, raced to the door, dropping their trays of uneaten food unceremoniously at the exit. As Jack ran by, Corporal Crozier whacked him on the back of the head with his pace stick, causing Jack to cry out.
The section formed up outside the mess hall and stood there shivering for a couple minutes. Inside the doors, they could see Corporal Crozier talking to the sergeant from 1 Field Ambulance. Finally, the sergeant stalked off and Corporal Crozier came outside, his face red with anger.
“Drop and give me fifty motherfucking push-ups, you fucking assholes!” He screamed. “Count in unison, you fuckheads! None of you are finishes early…yes, I’m looking at you Barnes!”
Xander groaned quietly – it was going to be brutal waiting for Philip to finish his push-ups.
The section dropped to the ground and began counting off push-ups slowly at the same time, while Corporal Crozier screamed at them.
“Listen up you fucking dogshits, you will not mock our comrades in arms! We are all in this together and if you fucking get hurt, 1 Field Ambulance will be there to help your worthless ass. Same goes for the armoured guys – you want them providing a motherfucking wall of steel between you and the infected assholes outside the wire!”
Corporal Crozier kept on screaming, which Xander tried to tune out while he kept counting off push-ups, “Forty-seven Corporal Crozier, forty-eight Corporal Crozier, forty-nine Corporal Crozier, fifty Corporal Crozier!”
The section froze in place, holding themselves up after completing the task, even though all of them were clearly exhausted. Philip’s face was beet red and he looked ready to pass out.
Xander’s arms were already shaking when Master Corporal Girardi came out of the mess hall.
“Corporal Crozier, a minute please,” he commanded. As Corporal Crozier walked over, Master Corporal Girardi said, “On your feet recruits!”
Grateful, the troops awkwardly pulled themselves up and stood at attention.
Xander couldn’t hear what Master Corporal Girardi said, but it appeared that Corporal Crozier was getting chewed out for the second time, as his face turned red once more.
A recruit Xander didn’t know ran up to Master Corporal Girardi after his conversation with Corporal Crozier.
“Master Corporal Girardi
, I just got back from the medic and can’t find the other members of my unit - do you know where Third Squad is?”
“Sweet… Fucking... Christ! In the Canadian Armed Forced, we use sections, not squads. Squads are American bullshit, just like recon, special forces and all that other bullshit you’ve learned from stupid fucking Hollywood movies!”
The recruit blanched.
“Third Section is at the gymnasium now, working out,” Master Corporal Girardi said after glancing at his clipboard.
The recruit stood frozen.
“Hop to it recruit!” He barked and the recruit scampered off.
“Corporal, get your section to the obstacle course,” he said over his shoulder, heading back inside the mess hall.
“Yes, Master Corporal Girardi!”
Corporal Crozier turned to the section, “Section, on the double!”
Corporal Crozier took off at a jog down the road, without checking to see if the section was following. In a couple minutes, they were standing in front of a newly constructed obstacle course, with several other sections.
A master corporal Xander had seen before but didn’t know shouted, “Okay fucktards, the instructors are going to show you how to run this obstacle course, then it’ll be your turn. Anyone who fucks it up will be punished! And the fastest section in the company gets bragging rights! Now fucking pay attention!”
“Gentlemen, start your engines!” The master corporal shouted. “On your marks, get set, go!”
The three instructors raced through the course, crawling under barbed wire, jumping trenches, climbing a cargo net and finally, scaling a twelve foot wall with a rope ladder. After they were finished, the instructors took up places along the course.
Recruits then began to run through the course, one by one, taking their time to negotiate each obstacle carefully. After a half dozen runs each, they formed up once more.
“Okay numbnuts, get into three lines and get ready. After the first member of your section goes, wait ten seconds and then go. Remember, your section isn’t finished until the last member crosses the line – and yes, it is okay to help each other out!” One of the instructors shouted.
Zombie Night In Canada (Book 2): 2nd Period Page 15
