by Sam JD Hunt
“Wait,” Nate said suddenly, looking to me then back at Rex. “If Penny is, you know, um…should she be in the tub?”
Rex relaxed, a smile forming as he reached for Nate. “First of all, there’s about a two percent chance that Penny is pregnant, and second of all, she can have a bath, it’s fine,” Rex said, taking Nate into his arms.
“Should we uh, like, Google it?” Nate asked, nervously glancing to me as I slipped out of my clothes.
“Trust me, I am an actual doctor. We’re what people went to for medical advice before the internet,” Rex teased, leaning in to rest his forehead against Nate’s.
They fell into a kiss as I walked over to strip Nate, freeing his hardening cock from the confines of his designer boxer briefs. “Come on, you two, before we don’t make it into the water,” I urged.
Nate dimmed the lights, the candles I’d lit flickering on the silvery bubbles crackling in the oversized tub. I stepped into the hot water and reached for Rex.
“I need you.” He walked toward me, stepping in and leaning down to kiss me.
“Do you want the jets on?” Nate asked, joining us in the warm water of the tub.
Rex broke our kiss suddenly and looked to Nate, “No jets.”
Nate sank down into the tub, “Just in case she’s…” Nate was struggling with the word “pregnant.”
I sank down into the warm suds in front of him as Rex answered. “Uh, no, that’s fine even if… It’s just I don’t want junk swirling around me. I still hate baths—how you can relax with your own filth floating around you?”
Nate let out a deep breath, reaching for the sponge and dipping it into the suds. “You’re a drama queen, King Rex. Come behind me,” Nate said, letting the soapsuds drip from the sponge onto my sensitive nipples.
“I always do,” Rex flirted, stepping around us and sliding down the porcelain back of the egg-shaped tub behind Nate.
Rex relaxed after a few minutes and wrapped his powerful legs around us. “Check us out, we got Rex in the tub,” Nate whispered in my ear.
“We’d both do anything for you,” I said, rolling around to face him. I looked up at Rex—his head was against the wall, his eyes closed. I was jealous that he could sleep anywhere, and fell asleep within seconds.
“Sleeping beauty is out,” I whispered to Nate, resting my head on his chest.
“That’s okay, I love having both of you against me.” His fingertips ran down my spine in the warm water.
“Nate, I know we fucked up today, but think of how far we’ve come? I remember when Rex wouldn’t even kiss you on the lips, and now? It was my fault today, not his. You felt so strongly the other day when we talked about kids, I was afraid this would make it seem like we went behind your back. I’ve never missed a birth control shot, I swear.”
Nate was silent for a long time before finally saying the words that continued to break my heart. “I just want you two to be happy, even if that means I can’t be.” I rose to look up into his eyes—my precious Nathaniel, a man with the biggest heart I’ve ever known, my knight in shining armor. I loved him so much I thought I’d burst, and I knew Rex did too, and yet, I felt powerless to ease the nagging doubts that haunted him. Nathaniel Slater was the type of person who never thought he was good enough, and didn’t deserve happiness. He always thought the bottom would fall out and refused to be assured that our love could last. I was the opposite—I never worried about what I deserved, only reveled in what I had, the here and now. There was no doubt in my mind that our love, between the three of us, would last forever. That night in the tub, however, I knew we’d go through painful trials before we got there.
I had no words to say that night in the tub; instead, I kissed him. Deeply, with all the emotion inside me, with the complete love I possessed for this miraculous man. Craving him, all of him, I slid his hard cock inside me, impaling and stretching as he slowly filled me.
“Fuck, Penny, I love you so much,” he said as we rocked together in the tub, Rex’s powerful legs wrapped around us.
I looked up as my lips left Nate’s—Rex was awake watching lustfully as he held us. “Join us,” I said, but he shook his head.
“Not yet, I just want to watch for now,” he said as he held us tightly, taking in the sight of the two people he loved making love to one another.
*****
I fell asleep late that afternoon between my two men and felt secure for the first time since Luther had arrived. We were working our way back to normal—and I wanted nothing more in the world than for us to be okay. And yet, another crack was forming. I woke up to a wet feeling, a familiar watery presence that sent me bolting for our bathroom. Sure enough, my period had begun. I wasn’t pregnant, just late. With mixed emotions, I reached for a tampon in the cabinet near the toilet.
When I emerged from the bathroom I met the inquiring eyes of Rex, standing against the doorframe. “I started,” I managed to say, the disappointment in his eyes was followed by a wink and a warm smile.
“That’s a relief,” he said unconvincingly. Rex didn’t think he could father a child, and the fact that there was a chance he was going to have one with me was a hope that just couldn’t be extinguished, even if we both knew the timing was wrong.
“Is it Rex?” Nate answered, catching the whiff of melancholy caused by my news.
“Yes,” Rex said, confused, “I want us all to be ready.” Nate nodded, a dark cloud drifting across his eyes.
“Let’s go get some coffee. Penny?” Nate asked.
“Uh, I need a quick clean up—I’ll be right out.”
Alone in the bathroom, I stared into the mirror. My emotions were all over the place—part of me felt like I’d dodged a bullet, but the other part was sad for the baby that never was. Despite knowing that the timing was wrong, I couldn’t help but feel disappointment.
By the time I found my men drinking coffee and snacking on Amber’s chocolate chip cookies by the pool, things had become tense again. I caught Rex saying, “What the fuck, Nate? Did you really just ask me that?” My heart sank—things were far from back to normal.
“I’m sorry, I’m not questioning you, I’m just trying to be sure that—”
“You are fucking questioning me. How dare you imply that!” Rex was screaming now as I quickened my pace to the iron table where they sat.
“What-What’s going on?” I asked, desperate to soothe the tension. Nate ignored me, and calmly popped a chunk of cookie into his mouth. Rex was standing, glaring at Nate.
“Go to hell,” he spat at Nate before storming back into the house.
“What happened?” I asked, tears filling my eyes. Nate was silent, his tongue licking chocolate from his index finger.
“He’s overreacting. I simply asked if I could be the one to give you your birth control shot next time—from a new bottle. That’s all.”
I gasped. “Holy shit, how could you?”
“I’m sorry, Penny, I didn’t mean to hurt either of you—and yet that’s all I seem to do lately,” Nate said, his face tightening into a frown. “But I just felt, I don’t know, like maybe I wasn’t part of the plan anymore, you know? Rex wants a child of his own—he’s older, he’s had crushing disappointments in the past, I get that. What I’m having a hard time with is it having nothing to do with me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Within days of Luther leaving, I saw a change in Amber. She continued to cook mind-blowing food for us, but she was withdrawn. More and more of her time was spent alone in her room, but not in sadness. At first, I thought she might just be tired of us, or bored at the compound, but early one afternoon I heard her on the phone flirting. I couldn’t believe she’d be on the phone engaging in sexy innuendo with the man we were supposed to be protecting her from. I turned and left, the grim reality of her going back to an abuser weighing heavily on me.
When I got to our pool, Nate was there. He was swimming perfect long, languid laps underwater, his powerful lean body propelling him the entire lengt
h of the pool before he emerged for air. I collapsed into a lounge chair and watched him. Flawlessly, he continued his laps, varying the stroke to work every muscle—Nathaniel Slater was truly a work of art.
He emerged the final time and propped himself up on his elbows at the edge of the pool. His reddish-tinged hair glistened in the sun, even when it was wet. Not a second went by that I wasn’t thankful that he loved me.
“What’s shakin’ beautiful?” he asked, water rolling down his smooth chest.
“I love you,” was all I said in reply. I was worried about his sister.
He pulled himself up from the pool, grabbed his towel, and flopped down in a chair next to me. “What’s up, Pen? You seemed deep in thought in between your ogling of me.” Nate could always read me.
“I’m worried about Amber a little, but I don’t want to seem like I’m tattling.” He reached over and put his hand on my knee.
“Spill it,” he said, his blue-gray eyes staring into my sunglasses.
“I think she’s talking to Kip again.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Ah, yeah, me too.”
I was relieved that he already suspected it. “I heard her on the phone with him,” I explained.
“She’s been off in her room until late in the night—I can hear her typing. Either she’s writing the great American novel, or she’s messaging with him.” Nate ran his fingers through his wet hair.
“I think we need to have a little intervention with her,” he said with a cringe.
“After dinner?” I offered but he shook his head.
“No time like the present,” he said as he stood up and slid his feet into his shoes.
We found Amber in the kitchen with a stack of steaks on the marble countertop in front of her. But her attention wasn’t on dinner; it was on her iPad. She was frantically tapping at it, a grin across her lips. When she saw us, she jumped and swiped the iPad quickly, hiding like a teenager busted by a teacher. “Oh, hey guys—how beautiful do these filets look for dinner? Rex will need about three of them,” she joked nervously.
We sat on the stools at the island across from her as she reached for the salt grinder. “Amber,” Nate said, “we know you’re talking to Kip again.” She dropped the grinder and snapped her head toward us.
“What?” she asked, looking from Nate to me. “I heard you on the phone with him earlier. I’m sorry that I went to Nate but I was worried that—”
“I wasn’t talking to Kip,” she interrupted. “I’ve really been connecting to this guy I started talking to online.”
Nate sighed in relief. “Listen, sis, I get that it’s lonely here but you have to be careful with these fake online types, they can—”
“Oh, no, it’s not like that. We’ve met in person before, but just as friends. But lately we’ve been talking a lot, really getting to know each other. I guess it’s become romantic, but I promise to take it slow.”
We believed her, and were both relieved that her psycho husband wasn’t back in her life. “Want us to grab a good cabernet to go with these?” Nate asked, pointing toward the mountain of filet mignon she was seasoning.
*****
Within a few days, Amber was gone. She didn’t say goodbye to Rex or me, but she did call Nate from the airport as she boarded her flight back home. She said she was going home to file for divorce, and not to worry about her, she’d be fine. Nate was furious when she ended the call.
“I’m sorry,” Rex said, his face covered in remorse, “this is my fault.”
“No, I mean, you were right,” Nate said softly, wrapping his arms around Rex. “She wasn’t a prisoner here. I just wish she’d have let me go with her, to keep her safe. I mean, shit, Amber and Dad are all the family I have now.”
“We’re your family,” I said quietly as I sat on the floor across from them.
He looked at me as I said the word family, a sadness filling his eyes. “Yeah, well, you’ll both leave me, too,” he said, breaking my heart as he stood up and left the room.
Rex leaned back as he watched Nate walk out. “I just don’t know how to make this better anymore, Princess,” he said as I blinked away tears.
Earlier that day, Amber told Rex and Nate she wanted to go into the city to shop for spices herself, that a list wouldn’t work. Nate tried to get Rex to forbid her to go, to go as far as keeping her in the compound against her will, but Rex refused to do that. He did, instead, convince Amber to let our security manager, Stan, drive her into Medellin. Hours later, Stan frantically called Rex to tell him that Amber had stolen away from him. Stan couldn’t watch her in the ladies room, and when she never emerged, he sent someone in to check on her. The ladies room was empty—Amber had slipped out a large rear window as if she’d been kidnapped. We were all worried sick until she called Nate from the airport.
“Let’s go talk to Nate, he’s just upset, worried,” I offered, reaching for Rex’s hand. He nodded and we walked down the long hallway together. Nate was at his desk, in his sleek modern office, staring absently at his computer screen. Rex walked up and put his hands on Nate’s shoulders.
“I called a bodyguard guy I know—he’s in Richmond, but he’ll get there by the time she lands. I hired him to watch over her, without her knowing, from the minute she walks off that plane until we tell him to stop.”
I walked over and straddled Nate, putting myself between him and the screen he was focused on. “We love you so much—what can we do? Do we need to go to her ourselves?” I asked. He leaned into me, his forehead resting on mine.
“No, she’ll just push us away. Rex’s way is best for now.” Nate’s right hand rose to cover Rex’s. “I love you both. Sometimes I just can’t shake the doubts—they haunt me.”
We made love that night as if we had something to prove; we prayed that if we loved him enough, pleasured him enough, caressed him enough that it would bridge the deep gap that was forming between us. That night, all night, we silently begged Nate to believe in us.
But we failed. The next morning, Nate was gone. There was no thunder, no big event that ripped him away from us. Instead, it happened the way most relationships are destroyed—a series of cracks to the foundation, a misunderstanding that grows, and that insidious destroyer of love that creeps in when you’re not looking—self-doubt. Nate was torn from the two of us not in an explosion of emotion, but rather in a quiet, ominous implosion—the day he left, my world fell apart.
*****
“He’s gone.” Rex’s words rang across the bedroom as I rolled over reaching for them, only to find emptiness.
“Um, what?” I said, wiping the sleep from my eyes.
Rex filled his lungs with air and slowly let it out. I knew Rex well—he was trying to stay calm, not to panic. I, however, was about to go full-on panic.
“Nate left in the night,” were the words that rocked me to my core.
I felt the floor spin as I said, “I bet he just went home to be with Amber.”
“He left a note, a letter. He-he… Shit.” Rex fell to the side of the bed, his face falling to his palms. I reached for the note Rex had dropped on the floor. Nate’s flowing handwriting ran elegantly across the page, ink as dark as the blackest night mirroring the crushing sorrow of his words to us. My heart wept for Nate, and for us, as I read the note:
Loves of my life,
I will never love anyone again—my heart will always belong to the two of you. The three of us was the best thing I could have ever hoped for—more than I will ever come close to deserving. I’ll cherish our short time together for the rest of my life. Please know that I didn’t go because of anything that was done, said, or not said—I left out of love for the both of you. Penny, reassure Rex that he loved me enough, and I never once doubted it. Rex, make Penny believe that I know with every fiber of me that she loved you and me equally and fully.
The debilitating truth, however, is three people in love just doesn’t work. It would have only lead to heartbreak for all of us. Be a couple—a n
ormal pair in this narrow-minded world. Get married, Catholic for Rex, and have babies—without me, they can be legitimate babies. Please let me make this sacrifice for you, for us, and let me go. We were three, and I love you both.
Yours Always, Nate
My tears smudged the ink, which made my grief even more unbearable.
Chapter Fifteen
“Luther did this,” Rex said, reaching for me.
“I don’t understand.” Tears ran down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around Rex’s wide torso, clinging to him as if he were all I had left.
“He sent Nate an email the other day. When I asked Nate why Luther emailed him, Nate blew it off—said Luther was crazy and it was nothing.”
“He didn’t let you read it or explain what it said?” My mind raced—I thought Luther was out of our lives forever.
“No, he didn’t. Penny, Luther has issues. I mean, don’t we all, but he has some fucked up baggage,” Rex said, holding me tightly.
“Why would he deliberately take Nate from us?” I just didn’t understand.
“It’s complicated. At one point our closeness became overwhelming for me and I pushed him away—he didn’t take it well. It was…scary. Same with Evelyn—at one point she told me he was too involved in our lives.”
“He mentioned Evelyn to me. The night he was at the piano—he made it sound like he knew I shot her, and he said the oddest things.” My mind went back to that night and Luther’s perfection at the piano.
“Yeah, well, I’m sure he knows. He wasn’t that close to Evelyn, that’s the odd thing. He only developed this affection toward her after she pushed him away.” Rex’s voice was sad, regretful.
“He said you didn’t love her enough.” My mind replayed Luther’s words that night.
