by Jamie Hill
"Look around you, sweetheart. This is no place to bring a baby. It's old and drafty and the pipes rattle like a freight train when someone takes a shower."
"It's not that bad." She smiled hopefully. "We've got two bedrooms. I could fix the other one up real cozy for the baby."
"The other bedroom? The one that's jam packed full of all the junk we don't know what to do with? What are we supposed to do with that stuff? Stick it on the roof?"
"Maybe we could rent one of those storage places."
"With what for money, Natalie? I don't have a job, you don't have a job. We're living on the allowance my folks give us plus whatever you and I have in savings, which is not much once you start talking baby."
"You'll get a job when you graduate, and you'll be making good money. The baby wouldn't be here before then."
Alex sighed. "Nat, I want to have babies with you, you know I do. But be reasonable. I need time to get a job and get on my feet before we even consider it. We'll find a nicer place to live, get settled, and then we'll see. Besides, you have another year of college after this one. You want to finish, don't you?"
She shrugged and rolled over away from him, hoping he wouldn't notice she was crying. She felt stupid, but once they'd started, she couldn't turn off the tears.
He leaned down to her. "I thought you wanted to be an interior designer."
She shrugged again. "I want to be a mother, more."
Alex rubbed a hand over her arm. "You will be. It's all about the timing." He traced a finger through her tears. "Hey, come here." He rolled her over and into his arms. "Don't cry. It'll happen for us. This just isn't the right time."
She sobbed into his chest and finally muttered, "Why do you have to be so damn practical?"
Alex rubbed a hand through her hair and over her shoulder. "One of us needs to be. Guess it's just my turn."
"Jerk."
"I know. But if you want to do something practical, you could do something for me."
"What?" She sniffed.
"Ask your doctor about alternative forms of birth control."
"I told you the pill made me sick. I don't want to try it again."
"There are other things out there besides the pill. You could ask, couldn't you?"
She wiped her eyes and nodded. "I guess."
He touched her chin. "Just give me some notice. If we go on another type of birth control, I need to dump my Trojan stock. That place'll go broke if they lose my business."
Natalie laughed and Alex hugged her. "That's my girl. I love you, Natalie Jameson."
"I love you, too." She wiped her eyes one more time.
Alex had promised Natalie a car for her wedding present, but in June they hadn't been able to find one they really liked. They'd known they could get along with one car in nice weather, with their house so close to the campus, so they'd decided to wait for the new models to come out in the fall. He'd given her a diamond necklace as a wedding present instead, and Natalie had given him a new tennis racket—with the advice of Alex's father, of course.
When the new car models came out, Natalie and Alex went shopping and picked out a sleek, black Pontiac Trans Am as her early Christmas present. It was her first new car ever, and she loved it. Alex said it thrilled him making her happy, and this was just the beginning of the ways he was going to prove it to her over the years.
She knew there was no way to match the Christmas present, but she wanted to try to find something special for him this year. She was very excited about it.
She decorated their little house with ghosts and pumpkins for Halloween. They bought candy and answered the door for Trick-or-Treaters together. Natalie loved the holidays and was looking forward to their first married Thanksgiving.
It was much the same as their first dating Thanksgiving, except they stayed in bed until noon, so they didn't feel the need to sneak off in the afternoon alone together. They spent the day with the Jamesons and their other guests, eating and watching football. The evening meal with Jane and Dean Clark was slightly more organized than the previous year, and better prepared. It was another satisfying day, and Natalie was happy as they fell into bed that evening.
Alex was playing tennis the next morning, and she planned to start her Christmas shopping. It was supposedly the busiest day of the year, the unofficial start to the holiday season. Natalie was excited to shop for everybody. She wanted to pick out just the right thing for Mr. and Mrs. Jameson. They said I could call them mom and dad, but I haven't felt that brave yet. To their faces she called them…nothing. She avoided it. She had an idea of what to get for her own mother, and Dean was easy to buy for. The biggest, most challenging gift was going to be for Alex. She had to find the perfect gift for him.
She set out for the Aggieville shopping district, having decided to start there. Her mind was racing with ideas as she pulled into the lot and maneuvered her new car into the last visible parking space. This day is starting off perfectly! She was so excited that she didn't notice the man lurking in the shadows of the alley next to her car until he was upon her.
* * * *
Alex stepped out of the shower feeling relaxed and refreshed. He'd squashed his opponent playing tennis, which always made him feel great. He slipped into jeans and a sweatshirt and waited for Natalie to return. Hopefully, I'll be slipping out of my clothes shortly thereafter.
He heard the front door open and he walked into the living room, smiling. "I'm glad you're home! I was—" He stopped when he got one look at his wife. "Nat? What happened?"
Her ponytail was askew, and there was a large, red welt across her cheek.
"Natalie! Were you in an accident?"
She appeared dazed. She clutched her coat to her waist and looked around the house in confusion.
"Natalie!" Alex grabbed her and she shrank away from him. Her coat fell open and he could see that her clothing, what was left of it, was in shreds. "Oh my God, Nat! What happened?" He held her by the shoulders, aware in some part of his mind that he was frightening her, but he had to know. "What in the hell happened to you?"
She dissolved into tears. "Christmas shopping—Aggieville—man—knife. Made me drive—Bluemont Hill—" Her sobs grew louder and her words became unintelligible.
Alex had heard enough. His eyes filled with tears as he gripped her shoulders firmly. "Did he hurt you?"
"I—I—tried to scream. He hit me."
"Did he rape you?" Alex shouted at her.
"Y-y-yes!" she whimpered, and fell into his arms.
With that one word, Alex's heart shattered. In an instant, because of one act of madness, their lives were tossed up in the air. A monster had touched his beautiful, sweet, naïve Natalie, and now she could never be the same. He held her as sobs wracked both their bodies.
"Have to take a shower," she finally whispered, and tried to pull away from him.
He swiped at his face and thought about that. "No, you can't. We have to get you to the hospital. The police need to be called."
She stared at him in horror. "I can't! Nobody can know about this! Please, Alex! I don't want anyone to know."
"Listen to me." He held her firmly but gently. "This was not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. The man—the monster—that did this to you needs to be caught and brought to trial." Or I could find him myself and cut his balls off.
"I can't think about that." She shook her head.
"Don't worry about it now." He kissed the top of her head. "Let's get you to the hospital. One step at a time."
"I need some clothes," she insisted.
"We'll bring some, but you're not changing until the doctor says you can. We want to do everything the right way, to improve our chances of catching this guy." He kissed her forehead. "Wait right here, I'll grab you some warm clothes."
He hurried to her dresser and pulled out undergarments, jeans and a sweater. He stopped to get some shoes and socks for himself, and put them on quickly. He grabbed his jacket and buttoned her coat around her. "Come
on, the sooner we go, the sooner we can get back home." But to what? What will she be like after going through this?
He led her outside and stopped by the side of her car.
"No!" She cried in terror, and he realized that the rape had taken place in her car. The beautiful, new car that she loved. Bastard. He'd ruined that, too.
"Okay, come on. My car's right over here."
She nodded and went with him. He drove them quickly to the local hospital and led her into the emergency entrance. "My wife was attacked," he told the fiftyish, graying woman at the front desk.
"This way." Concern evident on her face, the clerk grabbed a wheelchair and settled Natalie into it before wheeling her into an exam room. "Wait right here for just a minute." She placed her hand gently on Nat's shoulder.
"Sure," Natalie replied, the dazed look coming back over her face.
The woman handed a clipboard to Alex. "Get started on these forms for me, please. I'll page the doctor, and someone will be with you shortly." She looked over Natalie's head and mouthed, "Was she raped?"
Alex nodded, willing the tears to stay away. He needed to be strong. Have to be strong for Natalie.
"Okay. I'll see if Dr. Martin is in the building. She's one of our best."
"Thank you." Alex gave her a small smile. A woman doctor would make Natalie more comfortable, he was sure.
"You bet." She offered one last, sad smile, her blue eyes crinkling at the corners, before she left them alone.
Alex squeezed Natalie's hand. "Hang in there, babe. We're going to get through this."
She only nodded.
A thought occurred to him. "I should call your mother."
"No!" Natalie looked horrified again.
"Nat, honey—" he tried to reassure her. Jane needs to know.
"Please, don't. Not yet. I couldn't handle her being here."
Alex's parents were in Kansas City for the weekend. They always went the day after Thanksgiving for the big Christmas lighting ceremony at Crown Center. They'd come home if he called them, but he wasn't sure Nat needed them here, either. "What about Dean? Should I call her?"
Natalie burst into tears. "Yes. Call Dean. Dean should be here."
"Okay, baby." He leaned over and cradled her head against his chest. "I'll call her just as soon as the doctor gets here."
Natalie nodded and he held her until the door opened again, and a doctor and nurse, both female, entered. The doctor appeared young, with a long, blonde ponytail, but her eyes and smile gave her a reassuring look. "Hi, I'm Dr. Martin, and this is Tina. We didn't get your paperwork yet, so I don't know your name."
Natalie's mouth opened but nothing came out.
"Natalie Jameson," Alex spoke up. "My wife. I'm Alex Jameson."
"Okay." The doctor smiled at him then at Natalie. "Natalie, honey, can you tell us what happened?"
Silence.
Alex said, "She went Christmas shopping and—"
The doctor held up a hand. "Alex, I think we need to talk to Natalie alone. I'm going to want to examine her, too. The best thing you can do is to go out to the waiting room and get that paperwork filled out. That would be a big help right now."
He nodded, realizing he was being given the brush off, but not entirely unhappy about it. A little distance might not be bad for him, either. He set her clothes down on the exam table. "I brought her some clean things. She hasn't changed or showered or anything."
"Excellent." Tina led him to the door. "You did perfectly, bringing her here." The nurse had bright, red hair and wore scrubs with Winnie the Pooh on them.
He stared at Tigger for a moment, thinking how the orangish-cartoon tiger nearly matched Tina's hair. "She wanted to shower," was all he could think of to say.
"I'll bet she did. It was quick thinking that you didn't let her. Go on, now. The waiting room is right down the hall. We'll come find you in a little bit." Tina shoved him gently out of the room.
Alex glanced back, realizing he hadn't gotten a chance to say anything to Natalie. Wandering down to the waiting area, clipboard in hand, he spotted a phone on the wall. He went to it, and forced himself to remember the phone number that he used to call daily but hadn't dialed at all for months. I really hope Dean answers. He wasn't sure he could lie to Jane.
"Hello?" Dean's voice sounded bright and cheery.
I can take care of that. "Thank God. Dean, it's Alex. I need your help."
"Alex? What's up? You sound funny."
"It's Nat. She doesn't want your mother to know this yet, so please don't say anything, but she's been—been—" He couldn't say the words. "She's been in an accident."
"Oh my God! Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she will be. But she needs you here right now. We're at the St. Mary Hospital. Can you come?"
"Of course! But mom would want to know about this!"
"I know that, but Nat is having a hard time right now. Please don't say anything yet. Let her figure that part out."
"Okay. I'm on my way."
"Thank you." Alex breathed a sigh of relief and hung up the phone. He didn't really dislike Dean, she just annoyed the hell out of him sometimes. But today he wanted her here. No, he needed her here. I can't handle this by myself.
He was turning the paperwork in at the desk when Dean burst through the doors to the emergency department. "Alex!" She came to his side. "How's Nat?"
"We need to talk." He clutched her arm and led her to the waiting room.
"Are you okay? Were you with her?" She peppered him with questions as they sat down.
"No. I'm fine. Dean, Nat wasn't exactly in an accident. I just didn't know how to tell you over the phone."
"Tell me what?" Dean's face hardened.
Alex almost smiled. She looked so much like his wife. Then he remembered what he had to tell her and any trace of a smile disappeared. "Dean, Nat went shopping today and apparently, I don't have all the details yet, but a man with a knife attacked her."
Dean stood up. "What do you mean attacked?"
He rose to his feet and faced her. "He raped her, Dean."
Anger flooded her face for one moment before the tears arrived. "No! No! Not Natalie! No!"
Alex pulled her to his chest and she sobbed into it. "How could this happen? Where were you? How could you let this happen?"
His chest tightened and he gripped his sister-in-law by the shoulders. "I didn't let it happen. I would give anything to change this."
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She wailed, and he hugged her tighter. "I didn't mean it! I'm just so shocked and furious and—Oh God! Natalie!"
Alex rubbed Dean's back. He knew she didn't mean it, but the seed was planted in his head at that point. He hadn't protected his wife. I failed her.
They remained in the waiting room, not speaking much, for another hour. At one point, two police officers arrived at the hospital and were shown in to Natalie's room. Alex clenched his fists. He wanted to be in there, but he didn't want to be in there.
The police stopped to talk to him before they left. "Mr. Jameson?"
"Yes." He stood up. "How's my wife?"
"The doctor should be out shortly. We'd like to ask you a few questions for the report."
"Of course." He relayed what information he had to them. He gave the police their address so they could stop by and check the car for evidence. When they left, the doctor came out.
"She's going to be fine. She…" Dr. Martin glanced at Dean.
Alex spoke up. "This is Natalie's sister Nadine. You can talk in front of her."
"All right," the doctor continued. "She was hit in the face, but there are no broken bones or anything. She'll have a big, purple bruise for a while. There's also some vaginal tearing and swelling, but that will go away with time, as well."
Alex felt sick. He felt like a pig for asking the question, but he had to know. "Will she be—will everything be normal down there?"
The doctor smiled gently. "In a few weeks she'll be good as new. The human body is amazingly resili
ent, as is evidenced by childbirth. Things stretch out and then pop back in to shape quite nicely."
Dean gave the doctor an irritated look. "They don't always 'pop' right back into shape. My mother can't sneeze without peeing since she had her babies."
Dr. Martin nodded. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to sound flip. Natalie's in rough shape, but I expect her to make a complete recovery physically. Emotionally, now that is another matter. I recommend counseling for Natalie." She looked at Alex. "Maybe even for both of you. What you need to remember is that rape is a crime of violence. It's not about sex."
"Seems to me it's all about sex," Alex muttered. "And the bastard didn't just do it to her. He turned my life upside down, too."
"Only if you let him. It's going to take time and patience, and I'm not going to lie to you and say any part of it is going to be easy, but you will get your life back. Just remember two things. Don't tell Natalie that you think this guy ruined your life. That's one sure way to piss her off, if you'll pardon my French."
Alex grimaced. "I see you've met Natalie."
"The other thing is, don't go in there with the look on your face that you have right now, like she's damaged goods. I guarantee you she's feeling that way. If you love her, and you've ever looked at her with your eyes sparkling and brimming full of that love, then take my advice. Summon up all the strength you've got and plaster that look on your face. She needs it now more than ever."
Dean slipped her arm through Alex's. "He can do that. He's got a killer look reserved only for my sister."
Alex gave Dean a weak smile and nodded at the doctor. She handed him three prescription bottles and two pamphlets. "Here are some pain pills and some antibiotics, just to be safe. This is enough for a day or two, and you can refill them at any pharmacy. Follow the instructions on the label. This third bottle has a couple sedatives to help her sleep the next two nights. It is not refillable."
"Antibiotics?" Alex looked at the bottle.
The doctor shrugged. "You never know these days. Evidence indicates the presence of semen, so the rapist didn't use a condom. We want to take every precaution to keep Natalie safe."
"He didn't use a condom?" Alex's voice went up an octave, and Dean shushed him to keep it down. "My wife has never in her life enjoyed sex without a condom, and now this son-of-a-bitch comes along—"
