by Pratt, Lulu
“Yep, she said if I wanted to be a dad so badly, here’s my shot.” Ford looked depleted as he recalled the words. I could tell they still hurt him. “I was so worried about Emma feeling abandoned by me, I never considered Virginia would be the one to walk out on her.”
“I’m sorry that happened, Ford. Truly, I am,” I said.
This whole time, I’d been so focused on my own heartbreak, I hadn’t stopped to think of what Ford was going through. A wave of shame brushed over me, as I thought of all the calls and texts I ignored from him. He was reaching out, probably for help, and I’d turned my back on him. As a friend, I should have been there. This was a challenging new chapter for him, and it was clear he needed help.
“Look, babe,” he started, pulling at my heart strings with the term of endearment I missed hearing. “Sorry, Charlotte. I don’t want to make things confusing. I know you’ve got a heart of gold, but please don’t feel sorry for me. I brought this on myself, and it has nothing to do with you.”
“I should’ve take your calls,” I interrupted him.
“No, not until you were ready. I just missed you so much. I still do, but I don’t want to pressure you into anything. This is a lot to take on, and I’m the one responsible. I can understand it being too much for you. This isn’t what you signed up for, and I can acknowledge how much it complicates things.”
He looked away, like seeing me was too painful. It was emotionally overwhelming, the tension in the room so thick it was hard to breathe. Emma had fallen asleep on my chest, her small hand still gripping onto me.
“I just felt blindsided by it all,” I began, revealing my feelings to him for the first time. “After the big blow-up with my brother, I thought I’d lost you. Then, to get back to a good space, I really wanted things to be smooth sailing.”
“So did I,” he added softly.
“When Virginia showed up, it was like a bomb went off, destroying not only my present, but the future as well. Everything as I knew it was unable to continue. She made sure of that.” My voice trailed off as the feelings resurfaced. I was helpless when she bombarded me, unable to defend a man I didn’t know.
“The way she talked about you made me feel like there was another version of you, a stranger,” I continued, looking to him for an explanation I knew he didn’t have.
“It was a different version,” Ford said, moving closer to me. “I’m not like you with no past, but what we shared was a first for me. I’ve never been in a relationship or felt for a woman the way I felt for you. I fell in love, Charlotte, and there’s nothing like that. No one else has seen me in the way you have. I opened up to you in ways I didn’t know was possible. So, Virginia didn’t know me like you do. No one does.”
I had to turn away, the emotions brewing too strong to look him in the eyes. It was just what I’d suspected, but hearing it from his mouth made me feel more confident than ever. We had shared something special, just as I’d hoped. After Virginia showed up, I began to question everything.
“Emma isn’t a bad thing,” I broke the silence, rubbing her back as she rested. “A baby is always a wonderful addition. I don’t want you to think I was upset about her. She’s innocent, and never asked for any of this.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” he said, the first glimpse of a smile curving the corner of his lips.
“Then why haven’t you put her things together?” I asked with more attitude than I intended. The pile of clothes and furniture for Emma sat in the corner untouched.
Ford’s eyes widened with shock. “I haven’t really had any time,” he explained, but his eyes revealed another reason. “And, I was thinking we might move to a larger place.” He looked at me with a question swirling in his eyes. He didn’t ask, but I knew he still wanted me to move in with him, something we had talked about before Virginia’s arrival.
“I don’t know what I’m ready for yet,” I said. “I know I want to be here for you and Emma. But I’m not sure what that looks like, and I don’t want you making any major changes for me until we figure that out. I want to… need to take things slowly. No labels. It’s not just you now, but Emma as well.”
“I think that’s fair. It doesn’t matter to me – I’m just happy to have you here. I’ll take you anyway I can get you.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around me and Emma.
It was the first time we’d embraced in what felt like a lifetime. I let out a breath I was unconsciously holding, the relief so extreme a tear rolled down my cheek. I’d missed being in his arms so much, safe in my comfort zone I’d had to abandon. It was good to be home.
Chapter 46
FORD
“SO, THAT’S HOW we’ll manage the night schedule going forward. It’ll help with consistency and allow for everyone to have equal shifts. Are there any questions?” I wrapped up the meeting.
My employees nodded in agreement, having found a solution to a problem they had been complaining about long before I arrived. Because of the round-the-clock maintenance necessary for the aircrafts, a nightly crew was necessary, providing a higher pay to accommodate for the inconvenience. However, compared to the day crew, the night team barely had any work to do.
The team looked at it as the cake shift, overpaid and underworked, opposite of the day shift. Everyone fought for the night positions towards the end of the year, hoping to boost their pay just before the holidays. To secure the few positions, my employees began changing their availability earlier in the year, hoping to find themselves receiving the later shifts.
It was a staffing nightmare, one I’d been struggling to find a solution to since I started at the job. However, during the few days I’d taken off to care for Emma alone, I had come to a resolution.
Caring for Emma was a difficult job, but I found that the nighttime hours were more lax. She still woke up throughout the night, but not for too long, and I began to learn her pattern quickly. I was able to prepare and serve her a bottle within minutes of her waking up once I could predict her waking hours. In short, I was much more effective on the parenting night shift, although the inconvenience meant I wouldn’t get much sleep.
Since Charlotte had begun helping me care for her, we took turns with the night shift. It allowed me to get a better rest and made me even more appreciative for her assistance.
That was the same approach I took with my staff at work. Rather than one team being responsible for the night shift, and another for the day shift, I decided to mix up the schedule so that everyone did all shifts. While you had the option to decline working the night shift altogether, that was rare. Everyone wanted a few days per month at the premium pay with less responsibilities. And now, no one had to fight over who was going to get the cake shift.
The team seemed pleased with the compromise, which was set to take place in a few weeks. After a few sidebar conversations, explaining any confusion, and accepting the praise from my team, I made my way back to the office.
When Charlotte and I first began dating, I would look forward to the end of my workday, eager to get home to her. Now, I had two reasons to rush home, knowing she was waiting there with Emma. She had the day off, so she’d decided to help me out with her as she had for the past few weeks.
After our conversation, I respected her boundaries and confusion regarding our relationship. There was still plenty of intimacy between us, but now it was centered around cartoon movies we both wanted to introduce Emma to. We shared all the details of our own upbringing, because having a kid around seemed to bring those memories back.
I hadn’t known as much about Charlotte as I thought I did. Because I was so close with her brother, I thought I had a front-row seat to her childhood, but it turned out I was wrong. I’d completely forgotten about the few years she lived with her uncle. It was a time when Marshall and I would only meet up at school or my house.
It never occurred to me to ask why we didn’t go back to his place. Charlotte explained how their uncle never wanted the responsibility of caring for them and made it very
clear. Marshall was more like her father there out of necessity, and the role just seemed to carry over. It made me understand her, and my closest friend, even more.
They had a bond unlike most siblings, but they’d experienced such a difficult time together, so it made sense. Still, she found ways to enjoy her childhood, with trips to the movie theater and park.
When we would pick a movie for Emma to watch, Charlotte could remember the ones she saw in the theater or the drive-in, and others she saw at home for the first time. Her eyes lit up remembering her introduction to what we hoped would become Emma’s favorite movies.
Charlotte had been a godsend, stepping in as she did to help me. There was no way I would have been able to return to work without her. Thankfully, she said she could work more flexible hours. Between her and my mom, they would find a way to split time with Emma until I left the office.
I was more grateful than I could ever explain. It didn’t even matter to me that things between us weren’t romantic. Charlotte cared for me as a friend, deeper than I even felt I deserved. She made meals, cleaned around the house, and stayed over every now and then to help with Emma at night. It was a blessing.
“Hey Ford! Got a minute?” Sam asked as I reached my office.
“Sure, come on in,” I waved him inside.
“I won’t hold you up, I can see you’re heading out.” He followed me into my office carrying his briefcase. “I’m actually going to be right behind you.”
“No worries. What’s going on?” I asked, gathering my things as I began to look forward to seeing Charlotte and Emma.
“I know we talked about you moving into a larger unit after the new addition to your family. Congratulations again, by the way.” Sam was one of the first people I told about my changing home situation.
All he knew was that my daughter had come to live with me, and that I thought a larger home might be best. My place was already large enough to accommodate her, but I knew the larger homes had more bedrooms, yard space, and a double garage. One thing I learned quickly was that children come with a lot of equipment. Between the toys and furniture, it was like receiving a new moving shipment. My home shrunk daily, taken over by Emma, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Thanks! I appreciate it.” I smiled, proud to be known as a father. Thinking of Emma always seemed to bring on a pride I hadn’t ever experienced. I felt accomplished raising her, knowing she was my responsibility.
“Well, one of the units has opened up. We can get you in there as early as this weekend,” he beamed.
“Really? That’s awesome!”
I’d thought the process would take much longer. So, hearing that we could move so soon was great news. I was already thinking of how we could make one of the extra bedrooms a playroom for Emma when Sam shook my hand and left the office.
I walked to my car on a cloud, finally feeling like life was beginning to slow down. A routine was slowly developing, adding normalcy back to my life after everything was turned upside down. It felt amazing.
Driving towards my house, a strong sense of gratitude swelled in my chest. I was so grateful for Charlotte and her true friendship. Nothing about her was shallow, and from the day that she told me she wanted to help, she had stepped up in ways I never imagined.
Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled into the parking lot of the best jeweler in the city. I wanted her to know how special she was to me.
“Hi there! Can I help you find anything?” an older man greeted me as I entered the store. It was lined with glass cases filled with jewels that sparkled brightly.
Unsure of what I wanted, or why I’d stopped at the jewelry store in the first place, I felt a bit overwhelmed. “I just want to get something special for a special woman.”
It was the honest reason I was there, and thankfully the salesman appeared to know exactly what I meant. “Let me show you a few things.” He nodded in understanding before leading me to one of the glistening glass cases.
Looking at the jewels, my eyes locked on a ring perfect for Charlotte. It was the one I wanted to see on her ring finger every day, showcasing our love. It was large enough to catch your attention, but still subtle enough to fit her style.
“What do you think of this?” the salesman asked, but I already knew what I wanted.
Chapter 47
CHARLOTTE
“WHAT ARE YOU talking about over there?” I called to Emma.
She was lying on her tummy in the living room while I checked on dinner. I’d decided to roast a chicken with potatoes, carrots, and green beans. Over the past few weeks, I’d become a roasting specialist. They were the easiest meals to make while looking after Emma.
After the prep, all I did was check on the oven every thirty minutes or so, leaving plenty of time to look after her. And looking after her was becoming more and more challenging now that she had discovered how to crawl. A bit stubborn, Emma still only used the new skill when she really wanted something, but it kept her busy.
Dinner was looking great. And I’d managed to make an apple pie while Emma napped earlier, so we were set for a delicious meal. It was fun to see how much I could get done during her naps. Today, I’d managed to fold two loads of laundry, clean the kitchen, and make dinner and dessert. I was pretty impressed with myself as I made my way back to the living room.
Emma was still yelling in baby gibberish. Watching her discover her voice was one of the simplest joys in life. She looked me deep in the eyes while she blabbered, and I nodded as if I could follow along, prodding her to go on like it was an incredibly interesting story.
In such a short time, I’d fallen head over heels for her, just as I had for her dad. The two of them together was an overload of emotions. Every day it seemed Emma grew to look more like Ford, and the way she looked to him brought butterflies to my stomach. The love was so pure and innocent.
Ford had been so respectful of my indecisiveness, although sometimes I could see he wanted more. Like when we would watch a movie on the couch, and I’d accidentally fall asleep on his shoulder, only to wake to him watching me with adoring eyes.
Though we hadn’t slept together, the connection between us was much stronger. Without planning it, we’d developed a deep bond of friendship, which in many ways meant even more to me than a traditional relationship.
There were things you would do to a significant other that you’d never do to a friend. I wouldn’t cross my best friend Jackie for anything in this world, and now Ford was in the same category. I would never have to question his loyalty to me after what we’d been through together. I could see in his eyes how much he appreciated me, and he told me often that he wouldn’t be able to take on the new responsibility without me.
He was stronger than he knew, and I always told him that. He would have found a way, but he didn’t care to hear it. As far as Ford could see, I was the reason Emma had a comfortable home. Still, we hadn’t completely built her furniture or unpacked all of her new things. I had managed to hang her clothes on tiny hangers I’d picked up from the store.
Ford disliked when I spent my own money, but I was happy to help. A piece of my heart broke learning that Virginia had abandoned her daughter, and since she left, Ford had only heard from her twice – once to see if he’d changed his mind. When he told her he hadn’t, she laughed and hung up the phone. The second call, she was irate. She thought she had discovered Ford’s reason for accepting her outlandish proposal for him to care for Emma alone.
She had come to the conclusion that Ford planned to turn the tables on her, requesting she pay child support, and she was not happy about it. Her anger turned to tears as she explained the new life she’d been offered in the form of a modeling contract. She was scheduled to go to Europe for a nine-month press trip, and didn’t want to have to turn it down to be there for Emma.
She cried, telling Ford how many opportunities she’d had to turn down. When he promised her that he was not tricking her, that he wanted to be a father for his dau
ghter, she sounded grateful. Ford had the call on speaker phone, and I began to feel a bit of sympathy for Virginia.
She said she knew he thought she was a bad mother, but instead she just wasn’t ready to be one. Her hope was to find success, and then one day return into Emma’s life as the woman she wanted to be.
My heart broke for her, hearing the conflicted emotions in her voice. While Ford had no sympathy for her, I was touched by her vulnerability. It took a lot of courage to be so open and honest about your shortcomings.
Ford could never understand how someone could walk away from their child, but thankfully, he didn’t scold her. He just ensured her that Emma would be well cared for, and that she had nothing to worry about. He told her she didn’t need to worry about checking up on her, and that seemed to be a relief to her. After that last phone call, Virginia disappeared as quickly as she ambushed our life.
Emma rolled over onto her back, which always amused her. She giggled loudly, and I reached down to playfully tickle her as her laughter grew. Her smile was so infectious, I loved spending time with her.
Ford still couldn’t believe I was so generous with my time and money, but Emma deserved it all. She was the sweetest baby, rarely crying unless something was wrong, and she loved to play and laugh. Whenever I wanted to bake, I’d sit her on the kitchen counter in her rocker and sing songs while I mixed ingredients. She liked to watch me, especially because I would give her the tiniest taste of icing when I finished.
My life was unrecognizable from the one I had just a few months ago. Even Jackie was shocked by how willing I was to change, but after meeting Emma, she said she understood. Emma was adorable, and she loved me in a way I’d never experienced.
Being a mother had been a dream of mine since childhood, but I was always so scared after my own experience. Emma was the reassurance I needed. She was a blessing to show me how deep I could love another, and how fulfilling being loved back would feel.
