by Ace Gray
I shook my head, desperate to focus on the issue at hand. The seeping blood from the brutal knife wound in Horse’s side.
“What did you do?” Conrad’s screechy voice was almost as distracting as his weird fucking get-up.
I didn’t answer him though. Instead, I turned around, trying to find something—anything—to wash the wound and stop the bleeding. I whipped this way and that, searching, but I wasn’t really seeing anything. My mind had eviscerated like the flesh of Horse’s usually perfect torso.
“What did you do?” Conrad was crowing again from the floor, making it even harder to focus. Gnarled frustration was knotting in my chest. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
I was about to roar when a delicate little hand came to my shoulder. One touch from my Ladylove was all it took. I could breathe again. And think, and see, and process too.
“He saved him, Conrad, so shut the fuck up,” she said with all the harshness her angelic voice could muster.
“I need warm soapy water, hydrogen peroxide, thread, needle, bandages and a lighter.” I turned toward Elle and met fiercely determined eyes. She nodded once then darted up the stairs. “And you…” I reached down for Conrad and hauled him to his feet. “Need to get your shit together, get some clothes on and go pick up The Vet.”
“I’m not leaving him,” he said with a finality that I sort of admired. Too bad there was no way in hell I was changing my mind.
“She’s had a day.” I pointed up the stairs after Elle. “So I’m sure as fuck not sending her somewhere that she might have to do a little convincing.” I made sure to emphasize the word through gritted teeth so there was no question as to what I meant. “You want to save him? I highly suggest getting someone who can treat him.” I shoved against his shoulders hoping it would propel him forward, and mercifully, it did.
The moment I was alone with Horse, I felt the blood drain from my face. I had to be white or a shade of green barely normal for human beings. My body wavered and a second later, my knees gave out and I crashed to the floor.
“Forgive me. Please fucking forgive me,” I begged beside him. “Make it through this, wake up, hate me, punch me, whatever the fuck you want, but then forgive me.”
My forehead dropped to his bloodied torso.
“I screwed up everything, Horse. So bad. Please forgive me.” Tears were close to punctuating my words. “I screwed it up with you and Elle and even Conrad, and I’m going to pay forever, but I’ll make it up to you if you pull through and forgive me.”
“He will,” Elle said softly.
I turned, my forehead still on Horse’s cold skin. She walked in slowly then knelt beside me, all the things I’d asked for in her hands.
“I know he will, Cole.” She leaned over and kissed the cap of my shoulder, and for the briefest moment, warmth lapped at the iciness coating my insides.
I grabbed her and pulled her to my lips. My bloodied hand cradled the back of her head but she didn’t flinch. She let me kiss her, full and deep. When I pulled away, I leaned my forehead to hers. It was probably nothing more than a second, a heartbeat maybe, but it was enough to center me.
I turned back to Horse and blew out a deep breath before starting to clean his open wound. He wheezed at my touch but otherwise didn’t really stir. My heart jackknifed for the both of us.
Thick, warm red blood stuck everywhere. I saw it even when I turned away to give a clothed Conrad more detailed instructions on retrieving The Vet. It coated my vision when I turned to Elle for strength. I couldn’t clear it away. I couldn’t clear it from his skin well enough to see the gaping hole either.
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath. “I need to get his skin clean.”
“There’s a shower down here. I’ll help you.” She stood and coaxed me up too. “You get one shoulder and I’ll get the other.”
I nodded as I bent to pull him up. I knew this place better than her but didn’t have the nerve to say so.
“You’ve gotten stronger,” Elle said as she slipped underneath his drooping shoulder. I couldn’t help but smile when her eyes raked over me. What a shithead friend I was…
But Elle.
She lit me up. My insides were a firecracker when she was near and that wasn’t something I could squash. And what was worse was that she smiled as if she knew. It warmed something deep in the pit of my stomach as we shoved Horse into the shower. The water was cold but didn’t wash her warmth away.
But Horse crumbled the second we weren’t supporting each of his shoulders.
“Shit,” Elle swore before I even had a chance and darted back into the water. “Ohhhhhh shit.” She jerked wildly in the spray of the water but let the cascade drip and drizzle over her as she slid under Horse’s far shoulder to support him.
I didn’t hesitate before I slid in under his other shoulder.
The water sprayed onto both of us as we turned his torso in the water. Elle held his gash as firmly as her tiny hands could while I splashed the frigid water anywhere red still tinged him. I tried not to notice that Elle’s white shirt clung to her body, revealing all the inches that I wanted to lick.
“You’re staring,” Ladylove said softly.
And I was. I couldn’t help myself. The paleness of her skin worked with the fabric rather than against it. It rippled along her perfect curves and drew attention to her luscious and hard peaked nipples. I could almost feel the rough, wet fabric in my mouth, a texture barely separating me from the luscious taste of her. And peeling the fabric from her hips and working them each inch down would be better than Christmas.
Cold water or no, the wet and wild version of Elle in front of me had me a little hard. Watching her fingers against Horse’s tanned, taut skin, had blood thumping between my thighs too. The three of us together was nothing short of heady and intoxicating.
“Yeah.” My breathing picked up. “Yeah, I am.”
She tried to hide a small shy smile when she turned away from me.
“I kinda can’t believe we’re all here together. Even if it’s the most fucked up of circumstances.” I eyed Horse between us, checking his pulse again, just to be sure.
“I can.” She looked down at her forearm and she couldn’t hold the smile in this time. My heart fluttered.
“Fuck him, Tart,” Horse groaned and we both scrambled.
“You know you want to,” Elle answered seamlessly with a wide smile.
She ducked down into his line of sight and took her hand from his side to cradle his cheek.
“Hi,” she smiled brightly up at him as the water beat against her hair, banding it into wiry little strands.
“Fucktart,” he answered with a warm smile. “Sorry. Tart.”
“Fucktart’s fine.” She shuffled in front of him, both of her thumbs stroking along his cheekbones.
“We forgave him then?” He weakly nodded toward Cole
“We’re working on it.” She smiled first at him then at me. “I mean he saved you, so we’re willing to let some shit slide.” The glimmer of hope and happy in her voice was infectious.
“I wouldn’t have stood up to Mickey if he…” His voice trailed off with a thick wheeze.
“You know firsthand I like it rough,” Elle said softly as she let his head sag into her hands. He laughed lightly before swaying on his feet. I had to shift quickly so I could hold him tight, Elle’s hands braced against his chest, both of us working to keep him from crushing her.
“He’s out again,” she murmured from beneath a pile of muscle.
“It’s clean though, right?”
“Yes.”
I wordlessly pulled Horse from the shower and back to the couch. Elle flipped the pillows beneath him so blood didn’t coat his skin all over again. I bandaged his side as well as I could and then we waited.
Conrad had dragged The Vet in with more authority than I thought possible and respect colored the view I had of him. Elle watched me watch Conrad as he sat cross-legged at the foot of Horse’s bed, all of us keep
ing silent vigil over the rough-hewn stitches now coloring Horse’s side.
We were all watching his chest rise and fall as some late-night host laughed at his own jokes in the background. My eyes kept darting to Elle, she seemed to take even, deep breaths, and the gentle sway of her tits beneath her still-damp shirt was the most soothing metronome I’d ever known. When I swept back over Horse or Conrad, I wondered if they felt her too.
“So, Cole, we don’t care that you left them to wither and die?” Conrad broke the silence with venom in his voice.
“No, we don’t,” Elle shot back.
I shot her a shy smile then my face fell.
“We do,” I answered. “I was wrong. Dead wrong.”
“Dead seems pretty damn appropriate.” Conrad quirked his eyebrows up.
“I was a man in love.” I narrowed his eyes at Conrad. “And it made me desperate. Dumb and desperate. I’m pretty sure you can relate to both.” Acid dripped from my tongue.
“You’re a fucking piece of work,” Conrad growled as he shot from his seat, his fist cocked back.
“Yeah, well, so are you.” I leaned forward, ice tingeing my words again.
“Stop it,” Elle interjected.
“If she killed herself?” Conrad spat the words out.
“I’d follow her as quickly as I possibly could,” I snarled as I stood, flexing over top of Horse.
“Stop it,” a different, weak voice wheezed. “Or I’m gonna kill myself.” Horse started to laugh but it quickly turned to a loud, hacking cough.
“That’s not funny.” Conrad skittered to his side.
“You already were dead,” I arched my eyebrow and let the humor filter into my voice. He would know the sentiment behind my snark.
“None of you are funny.” Elle rose from her seat and walked to Horse’s side. Her tiny fingertips grazed his washboard and he flexed beneath her touch. That delicious little move spoke to something primal inside me.
Horse’s hand wrapped up around her fingers, capturing them in his big paw before clutching them to his chest.
“How ya feeling?” She started to draw tiny shapes with her other hand. Conrad sat up to get closer.
“Like death, Fucktart. Like death.” His hand slid out and I was sure it was going to pat around for Conrad, but grabby fingers reached out for me.
Without hesitating I grabbed his hand as roughly as he’d done Elle’s. He pulled it into his chest. I had to stand and scoot closer. Conrad wordlessly stood and left the room.
“Hey, Conrad,” Elle said softly as she reached out after him.
“Go, Elle,” Horse commanded weakly, “we need a minute.” He looked away from my face and watched her slip out of the room.
The moment she left a little bit of the light slipped out of the world. A little bit of the warmth too.
“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Horse yanked as hard as he could on my hand, bringing us nose to nose.
“Right now? Breathing in your rancid breath,” I answered knowing full well that wasn’t what he was after.
“The act Cole.” His voice sharpened marginally but he couldn’t stay forceful. “What did you really think you were doing?”
“Protecting her. Protecting you,” I said as gently as I could despite the fire welling inside me.
“From what?” His voice was sharp, his frustration every bit as ragged as mine. The only difference was his made him cough and wheeze loudly. “From the dark fucking cloud you let swallow her?”
“From fucking Mickey. From the way he would swallow her.”
“You can protect her from Mickey.” He closed his eyes and rolled back on his pillow. “You could always do that for me.”
“I died that night,” I said softly. His hand jerked against mine. “Every single terrible thing he could do to her…” I blew out a breath. “To both of you, flashed before my eyes as I bled across the floor.” I shook my hand from his and rubbed my face before settling into my palms despite the cracked blood. “They say you see your life flash before your eyes and damn did I. Because that’s what you two are. My life. My everything.
“And every good thing, every bad thing was there like a movie. A movie that I was directing. I had the choice between Romeo and Juliet, full of the most epic love and the most tragic end, or something a bit less…final. A little less sure.” I shoved my hands back through my hair and came to rest on the back of my neck. “I could live without you, could live alone, if you both just fucking lived.”
His deep brown eyes were locked on me, shimmering in that way he had when emotion filled him to the brim.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re barely alive.” Horse managed a wry smile as he coughed again, his hand dragging mine to his side. “She’s worse off than me.” He closed his eyes again. “I tried, I really did, but you’re what runs through that woman’s veins, through her heart. You and the damn Sharpie ink she’s using by the gallon to keep that fake tattoo in place.”
It was my turn to smile in spite of myself.
“Don’t you dare smirk you dumbass. She should have been clinging to you, not that word. She should have been filled with your fucking cum, not hope.” His words were vehement enough that he flexed up and ripped on his side. He groaned and it echoed around the room then into my very soul.
I moved closer to him even though there really wasn’t much room. My free hand gripped on his shoulder as I searched for a way to make him comfortable. He let his eyes slowly peel open before he reached up behind my neck and pulled me down. I rested my forehead against his for a moment.
“She had you Horse, I know that’s enough.” The heat of my breath danced from his lips to mine and back again.
“Not the same without you,” he whispered.
“Nothing was the same without you, either.”
He pulled me at the same time I moved forward, our lips meeting in that familiar way that they had. His scruff bristled under my lower lip while I worked my way across his top one. My tongue pressed in first, moving in time with his, a dance as instinctual as breathing. I pulled back a tiny bit to smile down on him, warm air filling the space between us in small puffs all over again.
“Why were you there? Why would you risk it without me?” I barely breathed the words, but he knew that I was asking.
“I didn’t really have a choice.” He rolled away from me but didn’t let go of the back of my head. “He wanted me to prove that I was loyal to him over Elle.”
“And sending you to The Butcher proved something?”
“No.” His whole face darkened. “He just wanted to see how long I’d hold out, how long I’d protect her.”
“From what?”
And more importantly why hadn’t Mickey let me in. Had he seen through the whole act? Had my love seeped out of every pore on a visible level? Had I hit Elle in vain?
My stomach gurgled.
“From him. From them.”
“She’s safe. The plates…” My voice trailed off, or wouldn’t keep working, I wasn’t sure. I just knew it was stuck like a jagged box in my throat.
“The plates are why he went after me instead of her. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.” His voice was almost the mirror of mine.
“What do you mean?” My voice was barely more than a whisper.
“He knows she has the ledger.”
This time, my stomach bottomed out.
11.
Elle
“Conrad, wait.” I jogged after him. “Conrad!”
“He reached for him, Elle, not me.” He wheeled on me and for a moment, I wished he was still wearing his pink get up from earlier. It was far easier to face that version of Conrad than the manly seething one in front of me. “I don’t know what kind of twisted love weaves its way through this place, but some days, I don’t want to be part of it anymore.”
He whirled in a circle in the kitchen his big frame seeming to grow as anger fueled the rise and fall of his shoulders. I went to pour him wine and
slid it across the counter but he just batted it away, sending red splattering across the countertop and onto the back wall. I tried not to notice how similar it looked to Horse’s blood rushing down the drain.
“How do you deal, Elle? How do you watch him look at someone else like that?” He gripped the counter with white knuckles as he breathed all too heavy bent away from me.
“I focus on the way he looks at me,” I said softly.
“And when his hands are on Horse?” His voice got low and drained as he reached for a rag and started detailing the grout of the wine-soaked tile. “When they’re deep in each other, you don’t feel the love like a brick wall in the bed with you?”
“No.” I reached for another glass and filled it with wine to sip on. “That love lights mine on fire.” I sighed then took a deep sip. “Cole sees people, he sees hearts, and that’s what he’s in bed with. I kind of love that. I love that he lets me in on that kind of intimacy. That I’m part of it.”
“Ya ever think, I might want to let him in on us?” Cole was standing watching us from the breakfast bar. “He was the only real love I knew for a really long time, Conrad, and that doesn’t just go away when you meet your soul mate.” I gulped when he nodded at me as he said that word. I couldn’t help myself. “It takes weird shapes and does fucking stupid things, but it doesn’t disappear. It doesn’t mean he’s first, or more, it just means we’re something. And honestly, it’s something I can’t even compare to Ladylove and I. Being with him is just a way of letting myself feel everything all at once. It’s the only time I get to.”
My heart was thumping. His words were just so…perfect. They showed the white knight I knew slept underneath his vicious skin. His face was a dichotomy too. His plump lips had thinned, making his jaw seem sharper, furious, but his eyes burned wild and bright as they stayed fixed on me.
“Well…” My words caught in my throat. “Conrad…there you have it. Go downstairs and feel. Feel everything,” I said, unexpectedly soft and sultry.
His face was drawn as he shuffled toward Cole on his way to the stairs. He stopped toe to toe with him and let his eyes sweep up and down his perfectly inked torso.
