“Really? That’s nice.” Lena clasped her hands on the table. “So, I’m sorry. I really don’t know how to do this. I’ve…” She lowered her head and her voice.
“How about I get us some drinks, and we can just talk?” Charlie suggested.
“Yeah, okay.” Lena lifted her head.
“What can I get you?”
“Anything with alcohol in it.” She laughed. “I’m trying not to be nervous, but I think the alcohol would help.”
Charlie laughed and stood.
“They have a house drink here. It’s rum-based.”
“That sounds good.”
“Give me a minute.” Charlie went to move past her but stopped next to her instead. “And you can relax. I’m not worth getting all nervous for.”
“How can you say that when you look how you do?” Lena stared at her.
Charlie swallowed. She’d worn black slacks and a white v-cut sweater that she thought she looked pretty good in, and, apparently, was right.
“I’ll be right back,” she returned with a coy smile.
Charlie headed to the bar and ordered their drinks. She carried them back with her and placed one in front of Lena before sitting back down.
“How long have you worked at your firm?” Lena asked and then took an immediate drink.
“About a year or a little more, I guess,” Charlie replied. “What about you?”
“Three years at the company and one in my position as director.”
“Do you like it?”
“I do. It wasn’t what I’d planned for myself, but I like how it ended up.” Lena gripped her glass tightly with both hands.
“What did you have planned?” Charlie watched her eyes flit around the room.
“Well, I went to school for business administration, but I ended up getting married my senior year and left a few credits shy of graduation.”
Charlie wasn’t expecting that.
“Married?”
“My ex-husband’s name is Damon. He and I had known each other for years and started dating in college. I didn’t know back then.”
“That you were gay?” Charlie chanced a guess and took a sip of her drink, tasting the rum on her lips.
“I thought I would feel more in love with him after the wedding, which I know is stupid, but it’s what twenty-one-year-old me thought. We stayed together for about eight years before we separated and then divorced officially about five years ago. It was mostly amicable. I told him I thought I was gay. He was pissed for a while, told me that didn’t make any sense, and then we got to a place where we could tolerate each other, but the marriage was over. I haven’t talked to him since. I found out from my sister that he got married again a couple of years ago.”
“Wow.”
“I just kind of told you my whole life story there, huh?” She laughed.
“It’s okay.” Charlie laughed.
“I took a few years to sort myself out. I finally just admitted to myself that I liked women and came out to my family last year.”
“That’s pretty amazing,” Charlie complimented.
Lena laughed and took another drink.
“Amazing? I’m a thirty-five-year-old lesbian, who’s just now on her first date with a woman.”
“Not everyone realizes it at the same age or even takes the risk to come out to their family. I think it’s pretty remarkable that you took the time to figure out how you felt and who you are, and that you told the people you love. Not everyone does that. It took me some time too.”
“It did?”
“Not the dating women part, but the coming out part. I didn’t do it right away. It took me time to work up to it. I’m glad I took that time, because the way it happened, all worked out. I don’t know if it would have any other way.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“What made you ask me out yesterday? If you’ve never done it before, why now?”
“I signed up for online dating a few months ago. I just kept clicking past women, and if they expressed interest, I turned them down no matter how good they seemed. I just couldn’t get up the courage to take the chance, and then yesterday, I saw you when I was outside the conference room. I thought you were… beautiful, and then I shook your hand. It felt nice. I had to keep myself from staring at you during the meeting. I don’t know. I just got tired of not taking action, so I took the chance.”
Charlie’s cheeks were red.
“I’m glad you did,” she replied. “You got lucky because you were on the side of the table and, therefore, in front of me. I was behind you, so I couldn’t help but stare.”
It was Lena’s turn to blush.
“Really?”
“You’re gorgeous,” Charlie admitted. “I had a hard time focusing on the pitch.”
Lena looked down again. Charlie found it endearing.
“You sure you don’t mind putting up with this whole first everything? I’ve never done any of this. It’s all new to me.” Her eyes got big and lit up. “That’s presumptuous. It’s a first date.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Charlie replied and sipped on her drink.
They chatted about their upbringings. Lena told Charlie she’d been born and raised in Connecticut and had gone to school at Yale. She’d made the move to Chicago for her current job and loved the city. Her family was fairly well-off, as a lot of families in Connecticut were, and her husband was from old money.
“I didn’t work. Damon didn’t want me to. We didn’t need me to either. We had his family money. He was going to law school and later became a corporate attorney and brought in more than enough to support us. I wanted to work though, so I volunteered at various organizations, and that’s where I met her. I later found out we were neighbors. She started coming over more and more. When her husband left her for another woman, it made me think that if I just left Damon, I could be with her. We could have our own house and our own life together.” She took a sip of her second drink. “That was naïve. She was very much straight and started dating shortly after her divorce was final. I knew that needed to be the end of my crush. It was an important first step for me though, and it got me to where I am now.”
“We’ve all had that straight girl crush. Mine was Stacey. Later, there was Christie, and after that, I think, came Laurie.”
“You’ve had a few, it seems.” Lena laughed.
“I wasn’t out in high school, so I had a lot of friends that didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward around me. I had a lot of straight girl crushes as a result.”
“I guess that’s a first I can check off my list then.” She raised her glass in the air at Charlie and then finished the drink.
“Hey, do you want to get dinner? I know it’s late, but I didn’t eat earlier. There’s this place down the street that’s pretty good,” Charlie proposed. “I’d suggest here, but they only have appetizers and bar food. I’d like to have an actual dinner with you.”
“That sounds nice, actually. But it’s my treat. You bought my drinks.”
Charlie smirked at her.
“No, I didn’t. I tried to, but Grace wouldn’t let me pay.” She motioned with her head, and Lena turned her head to see a woman behind the bar. “That’s my friend.”
“Oh, I see.” She turned her attention to Charlie who had moved to stand in front of her. Lena was sitting facing Charlie now, and since she was in her chair, Charlie essentially hovered over her, but she was about a foot away from her so as not to appear intimidating to the still nervous woman. “Hi,” she said as she realized how close Charlie was to her.
“We can walk there if you want,” Charlie told her. “It’s close.”
“Okay.”
Charlie took a step back so that Lena could stand. She leaned around her and grabbed the woman’s coat. She held it out for her, taking a play out of Ember’s playbook. Lena slid into it before reaching down to pick up her purse. Charlie put on her own coat and started walking them toward the bar to say goodbye to Grace. As the
y made their way toward the door, she held it open for Lena and allowed her to walk past her. She noticed Lena was waiting for her, not sure which direction to walk. She held out her hand for Lena to take, which she did, after she revealed a shy smile. Charlie walked them hand-in-hand toward the restaurant.
CHAPTER 7
Hailey sat with Ember in the living room of Ember and Eva’s house, while Alyssa and Eva worked on lunch in the kitchen.
“I can’t believe she said that,” Ember expressed. “She needs time away from you?”
“She hasn’t said anything to you about it? She hasn’t asked for time away from you, has she?”
“No, she-” Ember seemed to need to take a moment to consider something. “She hasn’t said anything to me.”
Hailey wondered what that pause was about, but they were interrupted when Eva came into the room.
“Okay, I tried to make the sauce, but I think I burned it. Can you check, babe?” Eva placed a hand on Ember’s shoulder.
“I’m not marrying her for her cooking skills,” Ember told Hailey and then stood, giving a wink to Eva.
“I have no retort for that,” Eva admitted and sat in Ember’s place.
“Alyssa, what did she do?” Ember asked Alyssa as she walked toward the kitchen.
“So, how are you?” Eva asked her.
“I’m good,” Hailey replied.
Hailey liked Eva for Ember, but she was also glad that she just liked her as a person outside of her relationship with her best friend. She’d yet to spend a lot of time alone with her, though, and still hadn’t shared anything real with her beyond what she’d shared when Ember was around.
“Em said you had something you needed to talk about. Did you get to or did I just interrupt?”
“You did, but it’s okay. She can’t help anyway,” Hailey replied in a defeated tone.
“She’s pretty good at a lot of things. You sure she can’t help?”
“Charlie’s going through something, and she doesn’t want me around while she tries to figure it out.”
“Oh.” Eva’s eyes widened.
“You know something, don’t you?” Hailey accused.
“What? No, I don’t know anything,” Eva answered. “Really.”
“Sorry, I feel like she’s hiding something from me, and that’s not like her. We tell each other everything. Last night I called Emma, and she came over. We had this really good night together, and we’re going out again tonight. The first person I wanted to tell was Charlie, but I didn’t want to disrespect what she asked for.”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
“And she had a date last night. I wanted her to call me and tell me all about it, but she didn’t.” She covered her face with her hands. “Normally, she tells me everything about the women she dates and then debriefs me afterward, but she didn’t call. That worries me.”
“Hailey, it’s good that you let her figure whatever it is out. If you try to interfere, it will only backfire,” Eva suggested.
“I know. It’s just strange. I miss her when I don’t see her. Is that weird?”
“Why would that be weird?” Eva asked her. “She’s your friend.”
“I don’t miss Ember like that.” She looked sheepish. “No offense.”
Eva laughed at her.
“I’ll say none taken on her behalf.”
“I just mean that even though the three of us have always been best friends, Ember was usually on her own and okay with it, while Charlie and I always stuck together. It’s been like that forever. The longest I’ve gone without seeing her was a week when I went on a business trip, and I talked to her nearly every day. The longest we’ve gone without talking has only been a couple of days, I think. It’s been less than twenty-four hours. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, but I miss her.”
“Hey, Han’s stuck at the hotel, so she’s not going to be able to make lunch,” Alyssa explained as she stared at her phone and walked into the living room. “Ember says you didn’t burn the sauce, she’s just added salt. The pasta’s almost ready. I’m going to go call Han and see if she wants me to run to the store on my way home.”
“You two are so married,” Hailey teased her.
“Hey, don’t knock it. It’s pretty great.” Alyssa put her phone to her ear. “Hey, baby.” She walked out toward the dining room to talk privately.
“She’s right. I know I’m only engaged, but it is pretty great,” Eva suggested. “I get to come home to the same super-genius hot chick every night, that pulls out chairs, helps me put my coat on, and opens doors like we’re in an old movie. She cooks too.” Eva smiled at Hailey. “And she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Charlie does that stuff too,” Hailey shared. “It’s sweet, isn’t it?”
Eva glanced over at Ember, who was walking a giant pot of pasta into their dining room.
“It is, yeah. Does Emma do that stuff?”
“I don’t know,” Hailey returned. “We last dated when we were kids. I don’t know that I remember that stuff.”
“What do you remember?” Eva asked.
“I remember how she kissed me, and held me, and made me laugh. I remember how it felt when she held my hand that first day at school, after we were out.” Hailey smiled at the memories. “She was the perfect first girlfriend. I was so lucky I found her.”
“And she wants to try again now?”
“It’s not like we broke up because we hated each other or even fell out of love. It doesn’t feel like it’s trying again. It feels like we’re just picking up where we left off.”
“But it’s been a long time. Are you sure you’re both the same people? I know I’m not the same person I was when I was in high school.”
“I don’t think we’re the same people, no. I think we both grew up, but I like who she is so far. I’ve spent time with her over the years. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it felt really good to kiss her again.”
“You kissed her?” Ember questioned as she reentered the room.
“Yes, Em. I kissed her, and it was great.”
“Lunch is ready, and I cannot believe you kissed her, Hails.”
“Why not? We’ve done it before.”
“Hailey-” Ember started and stopped. “I’m getting the drinks.”
“Hey, when are we wedding planning again?” Alyssa walked back into the room.
“We start next weekend.” Eva smiled and stood. She grabbed Ember’s waist. “And I can’t wait.” She pressed her lips quickly to Ember’s, causing the woman to smile, before they all headed into the dining room for lunch.
Hailey was left, once again, wondering what Ember was about to say but felt it might be wrong to ask, since Charlie was Ember’s friend too. If Charlie couldn’t talk to her about something, maybe she could talk to Ember about it, and that had to be enough right now.
◆◆◆
Charlie was laughing. No, Charlie was cackling. Lena stood in her kitchen with her back pressed against the refrigerator, while Eddie was up on his hind legs, trying to kiss her in that dog way that seemed to make them so happy. It made Charlie happy to watch her dog seem to like this new person so quickly.
“Eddie, leave her alone.” She laughed and then helped him off of her. “Sorry, he gets a little excited.”
Lena was laughing too as she straightened her now rumpled clothing.
“It’s fine. He’s cute. How old is he?”
“He’s five, but he still acts like a puppy. I secretly love that, but don’t tell him.” She leaned back against the island in front of the refrigerator. “I was nervous there for a minute. I thought my dog might get to first base before I do,” she teased.
“Oh, God! There’s a thought. I assume there’s a different base system for women. Do I need to learn that?” She questioned with a reddened face.
“Why do you keep thinking you need to learn things?” Charlie reached a hand out, lightly touched Lena’s stomach through her shirt
, and then returned her hand to her side.
“I don’t know. I just feel like there’s a lot for me to learn. I lived with and had sex with a man for over a decade, and he…” She did that thing where she lowered her head again. “He was the only…”
“The only person you’ve ever had sex with,” Charlie finished for her.
“It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Why is that embarrassing?” Charlie asked and took a small step forward.
“Because I’m thirty-five. I’ve been with one person, and that person is a man, because I wasn’t ready to accept or even to understand that I was gay back then.”
“But, Lena, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with one person. Sometimes, I look back and think that I wish I would have waited a little longer. I don’t regret what I’ve done necessarily, but I don’t think having a high number of sexual partners is important. I think each person should be with who they want to be with. It’s not my place to judge, but I don’t think you should be embarrassed about having one partner.”
“So, you’d be okay with us going slow? I mean, this is a second date.”
“We can go slow.” Charlie smiled at her, then closed the distance between them and placed her hands on Lena’s hips. “I like you. I had a really good time with you last night, especially when you almost made out waiter cry,” she mocked.
“I did not almost make her cry.”
“You gave her a serious glare when she got your order wrong.”
“I’m allergic to nuts. I told her no walnuts on the salad. She almost killed me,” she exclaimed, and Charlie knew her distraction worked when Lena’s arms went around her neck.
“I thought I saw her tear up,” Charlie continued.
“She did not tear up. Really? Did I really…”
“No.” Charlie laughed, then placed her head on Lena’s shoulder and pulled her in for a tight hug.
“This feels nice,” Lena shared after a moment, pulling Charlie in closer.
Charlie pressed a gentle chaste kiss to her shoulder and pulled back.
“Pizza and a movie. That was the deal. I’ll order. You go pick out a movie.”
Lena just nodded and let out a deep breath. She let go of Charlie and made her way toward the couch, while Charlie walked to her laptop and ordered their food. She sat down next to Lena, who was scrolling through a list of movies on the screen and made sure to leave enough space between them so that Lena wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. They decided on a movie and started it, while Eddie laid at their feet. When the pizza came, Lena insisted on getting the door, and Charlie smiled at the thought, until she remembered that Hailey usually did that when they’d hang out and order food. She’d have Charlie’s legs in her lap most times and would still insist on getting their food for them. Charlie shook her head as Lena asked her where the plates were and then started putting their meal together to bring it back to the couch.
Just Tell Her Page 7
