“I thought we were just dating.”
“I just mean in general. It seems like you’re ready to go out and… mingle. Like you want to meet women and explore. I think that’s great. I want you to do what you want to do, and find the right person for you, but I find myself at a different place.” She inhaled. “I have no idea what’s going to happen with Hailey and I, but I know that I want a relationship now. I want one person to come home to one day.” She paused again. “Whether it’s Hailey, or she tells me that after one date she doesn’t see it happening with me, then I need to move on. I know I don’t want whoever I’m with sleeping with someone else. I don’t think I want to do the whole go out and bar scene anymore either.”
Lena nodded along as Charlie spoke.
“I think you’re right,” she agreed after a moment of silence was shared. “As much as I like you, I think I’m at a place where I want to meet women.”
“Not woman,” Charlie said.
“I wanted to. I wanted to with you. I thought I wanted a commitment, but I think you’re right. I think I want to search around a little more, now that I’m actually comfortable in my own skin.”
“How about you do that, and we try to stay friends?” Charlie proposed.
“I think I can do that,” Lena returned with a smile. “And good luck with Hailey.”
“Thanks.” Charlie pulled her coffee cup back toward her and lifted it to her lips.
“So, if we’re friends, do you want to tell me how your date went last night?” Lena asked.
“You sure?” Charlie lifted an eyebrow.
“I’m sure.”
“I’ve been dying to talk about it, but I can’t with Ember, because she’s our friend too, but I don’t want you-”
“It’s okay, Charlie. Spill,” she encouraged.
Charlie smiled at her and set her cup back down to begin the story that seemingly started so long ago.
◆◆◆
Hailey sat across from Emma at lunch and listened to her talk about her work week. Hailey took bites of her salad, while Emma talked about some problems she was having with a co-worker. Hailey laughed when she told her she’d considered putting laxatives in the guy’s coffee because he’d been such an asshole. They finished their meal and decided to take a walk to the store to pick up a few things for Hailey, because she’d failed to go shopping over the weekend, given all the other things she’d done. Emma looped her arm through Hailey’s. It reminded Hailey of doing that same thing with Charlie the previous night.
“Do you want to pick out some wine for tonight?” Emma suggested as they made their way toward the checkout counter with the few items Hailey needed to get her through until she could really go shopping.
“Tonight?” Hailey turned to her.
“I was thinking we could stay in and watch a movie,” she returned and held up a bottle of red. “Merlot?”
“Oh, I don’t know about tonight,” Hailey said. “I’m exhausted from this whole weekend. I think I just want to be alone. Is that okay?”
“Sure, I guess.” Emma was clearly disappointed.
She replaced the wine and fell in line with Hailey, who paid for her purchases before they headed back out onto the street.
“Hails?” Charlie nearly knocked her over as the two women left the store.
“Charlie, hey.” Hailey looked up to see her standing there, and then looked at Emma and back to Charlie.
Then, she noticed another woman standing next to Charlie, that she didn’t recognize.
“Hey, Charlie.” Emma waved a hand in Charlie’s direction.
“Emma.” Charlie didn’t take her eyes off Hailey. Hailey could see there was both confusion and worry there. “Oh, this is Lena.” She motioned with her hand to the woman with wavy blonde hair and these intensely blue eyes, standing to her right. She was definitely attractive. She was also standing close to Charlie. They were either finishing up a date or just starting one. “Lena, this is Hailey, and this is Emma.”
“Nice to meet you,” Emma replied. “Are you guys out enjoying the change in the weather too?”
“Yeah,” Charlie told her but kept her eyes on Hailey. “Just heading home now, though. I need to let Eddie out.”
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Lena reached into her large purse and pulled out a bag of small dog bones. “I got these for him. I forgot to give them to you before.”
“He loves these.” Charlie looked at them and then at Lena. “You want to give him one? Just know that if you do, he will always assume you’re carrying bones with you at all times and expect you to deliver.”
Lena laughed. Hailey cleared her throat.
“Well, we’ll leave you to that,” she proposed.
“Hails just had to pick up a few things and then we’re heading to the Lincoln Park Zoo. It’s nice enough to go, finally, and it’s one of my favorite places,” Emma said.
Charlie looked down at the bag in Hailey’s hand.
“Milk and cereal?” she asked with a smirk.
“Yeah,” Hailey replied. “I was out at home.”
“Because you usually have it at my place,” Charlie shared and then glanced at Emma, who looked a little confused. “Have fun at the zoo.”
Charlie walked past them. Lena followed her, after delivering a quick ‘nice to meet you’ wave and smile.
“You want to drop that stuff at your place first?” Emma asked, apparently unfazed by the meeting.
Hailey was fazed, though. It was strange, seeing Charlie with Lena. It was even stranger, considering they’d just gone on their first date, and the next day, Charlie was out with Lena. She hated herself because she’d done the exact same thing with Emma. She couldn’t exactly be mad at Charlie when she herself was standing next to another girl, planning the rest of their afternoon.
“Can we skip the zoo? Let’s just go back to my place and hang out instead,” Hailey suggested.
“Yeah?” Emma lifted an eyebrow. “I’m definitely okay with that.”
They got back to Hailey’s apartment. She put her things away while Emma got settled on the couch and turned on the TV. Hailey sat next to her, felt Emma take her hand and place it in her lap. Hailey stared down at them clasped together and felt Emma’s eyes on her.
“Yes?” Hailey lengthened the word and then looked over at her.
Emma didn’t say anything though. She leaned in and pressed her lips to Hailey’s neck just below her earlobe.
“Can we, maybe, move this hang out session to your bed?” she asked and lifted her eyes to check Hailey’s. Hailey nodded and stood. Emma followed her. Neither said anything as Hailey slid back on her bed, allowing Emma to climb on top of her. “I’ve missed you,” Emma said before connecting their lips. Emma’s lips felt how they always did, like they craved Hailey’s mouth with the intensity that often comes with first love. Hailey kissed her back and ran her hands up and down her sides. She rolled them over, and kissed Emma harder and with more determination as she slid her hands up Emma’s shirt. “I think you’ve missed me too,” Emma said with a laugh, and Hailey stopped to look down at her.
“Do you want kids?”
Emma’s eyes went wide, “Sorry?”
“Do you want kids, Em? Do you want the wedding and the house and the kids and everything that comes with it?”
Hailey backed off her and knelt in front of her, causing Emma to sit up and back against the pillows.
“Hails, we were just making out. What the hell?”
“We still haven’t done it, Emma.”
“It? Sex? You wanted to wait.”
“Not sex, Emma. I still don’t know you now. I don’t know what you want.”
“And you need to know it right now, while we’re in your bed about to… Were we about to?” She shrugged her shoulders and offered Hailey a near desperate expression. “Because I know I want that, Hailey.”
“But what about the other stuff?”
“You want to know if I want kids? Hails, this is weird. We’r
e not even together because you aren’t ready, but you want to talk kids?”
“No, Emma. I want to know if you want them one day. I’m not asking you to have mine now.” Hailey was growing frustrated and took a second to calm herself. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Let’s just go back to what we were doing.” She went to move back on top of Emma, but Emma pressed her hands to Hailey’s shoulders to hold her back.
“No, you want to do this; let’s do this. If you’re asking me if I want kids someday, the answer is – I don’t know, but I don’t think so.”
Hailey sat back on her heels.
“You said you wanted three.”
“When I was eighteen, yeah, I did want three. I thought I’d have at least one or two already, but I’m thirty-two now, Hails. I don’t think that many is in the cards for me. Even if I adopted or my girlfriend or wife had one or all of them, I don’t think that’s what I want.”
“Oh.”
“You do, don’t you?”
“I do, yeah. I always have. I thought I’d have them by now too, but I know I want at least one or two, and I want to have them if I can.”
“Okay, then we can talk about it,” Emma proposed. “Later, we can talk about the kid thing, if we get there.”
Hailey looked at her hands in her lap and then back up at Emma.
“Is your favorite color still purple?” Hailey asked.
“What? Yes, Hailey, my favorite color is still purple. My favorite food is still that pizza my dad used to make with the chicken on it, and that I can’t seem to get right. My favorite place in the whole world is still that little pond behind my high school’s football stadium.” She sat all the way up and hung her legs off the side of the bed. “It’s the place where I had my first real kiss with this girl I fell in love with, and dated for over a year, before we both let life get in the way.” She glanced over at Hailey. “It’s a place I hoped to bring that girl back to one day; to, maybe, ask her to be my girlfriend or, maybe, if things kept going well, then I’d propose to her there while we listen to the frogs croak and we laugh.” Her eyes were glassy with tears. “You don’t see that though, do you, Hailey?” she asked softly and with worry in her tone.
“Em, I don’t know.” Hailey felt her own eyes well up with tears. “I feel like I shouldn’t want to take things slow with you if it was meant to be, you know?”
“Hails, you wanted to take things slow so we could get to know each other again. Let’s do that. Let’s get to know each other again. All these years later, we keep coming back to each other. We’ve stayed in touch for a reason. And don’t think I didn’t notice that every time I started dating someone, you disappeared. Then every time you dated someone, I couldn’t stand to see it, so I’d disappear.”
“I went on a date with Charlie last night, Em,” Hailey said and let out a massive breath she’d been holding in.
Emma stood and turned to face her.
“So, that was what I noticed earlier.”
“What do you mean?” Hailey moved to hang her legs over the edge of the bed and face her.
“There was something up with the two of you earlier. I could tell. I guess now I know what it was, and also, why Charlie seems to hate me.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Hailey defended.
“Oh, yes, she does. I get that she’s professional at work. But, Hailey, Charlie is not my number one fan. It makes sense now.” She paused and then knelt in front of Hailey. “How long have you two been dating? I thought we said we’d tell each other if we-”
“Just last night,” Hailey told her as Emma placed her hands on her knees. “It was our first date.”
“And will there be another?”
“We haven’t talked about it,” Hailey shared. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do, Hails.” Emma stood again. “Do you want to go out with her again or not?”
“Yes,” Hailey stated and stood. “But she’s dating Lena too, like I’m dating you. It’s just complicated, Emma. I don’t think I want complicated.” Hailey went to take her hand, but Emma pulled back.
“I’m not simple, Hailey.” Emma took a step away.
“That’s not-”
“I know,” Emma stated. “That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Hails, I thought I’d be okay with you dating someone else, but I’m not. I don’t know what’s going on with you and Charlie, but I don’t want to be someone you date until you figure it out. I thought we were heading in the right direction. I thought you needed time to get to know me again. I’d get to know you again, and we’d find our way back to one another. But now I’m wondering if you even want that.”
“Em, these feelings for Charlie are very new,” she offered. “It just happened one day. I started thinking about her as more than just a friend, and it happened to coincide with you coming back into my life. I didn’t plan it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know, Hails. You’re a good person. No matter what else has changed, I know that’s still true,” Emma complimented. “How does she feel about you? Have you guys at least talked about that?”
“I know how she feels, yeah.”
“Then, you need to figure out how you feel, Hailey. You need to do it for yourself, and not for me or for her, but for yourself. I can’t guarantee I’ll be waiting around, because I don’t know if I will, but take the time to do what you need to do. If you decide that I’m a part of that picture, let me know.” Emma walked toward where her jacket rested on the couch.
“Em, I’m sorry. I really am.”
“I know.” She slid the jacket over her shoulders and turned back to Hailey, who was still standing in front of the bed. “I meant what I said all those years ago. A part of me will always belong to you, Hails. It’s still true.”
Emma left the apartment, and Hailey sat back on her bed, wondering what she’d done.
CHAPTER 18
Charlie let Lena out of the apartment after they talked for a while and she gave Eddie his treats. Charlie made her way over to her computer and dove into the work she’d left on Friday. When Eddie started going stir crazy toward the front door, she turned and got up to take a look. He normally only got excited like that when he sensed someone there. It was Sunday, so there weren’t any delivery guys coming by. She checked the peephole and saw a nervous looking Hailey standing there. She pulled the door open, and Hailey turned from nervous to surprised.
“Oh, hi,” she said.
“What are you doing out here?” Charlie asked.
“I wanted to come in, but I didn’t know if I should use my key anymore. I wasn’t sure if you had company. I thought I’d just knock at first, and then I thought I should text you to see if you were even here, and then you opened the door, so none of that mattered,” she explained in rapid succession.
“Why wouldn’t you be able to use your key, Hails? You love using the key.” She smirked at her and then motioned for her to come inside. “What’s going on?”
“Is Lena here?” Hailey asked as she appeared to be checking the place over with her eyes.
“Lena? No, why?” Charlie closed the door and walked over behind her. “Hails?”
“We went on a date last night, Charlie,” she said in a soft and adorable voice without turning around to face Charlie.
Charlie smiled as she approached her and placed a tentative hand on her back.
“Trust me, Hailey. I remember every single thing about last night. No matter what happens next, I always will,” Charlie revealed.
“What do you mean, no matter what happens next?” Hailey asked again without turning around, and her head was hung low.
Charlie wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her posture. She couldn’t tell if Hailey was struggling with wanting to take things further between them, or if she was struggling to tell Charlie that it wasn’t going anywhere at all.
“Hails, just tell me. I can take it.”
Hailey turned around at that.
“Take what?” She looked as co
nfused as Charlie felt.
“Did you come here to tell me that you’re with Emma and we’re not going on another date?” Charlie assumed.
“What? No.” She placed her hands on Charlie’s waist and held them there. “We left it so open-ended last night. I wondered where we stood.”
“Hailey, I would love to go on another date with you,” Charlie said with a smile and placed her arms around Hailey’s neck. “Is that an option?” She lifted an eyebrow.
“I don’t know if I can do this, Charlie,” Hailey proclaimed, and Charlie immediately stepped back and out of Hailey’s arms. “No, wait. That’s not what I meant.” She pulled her back. “I mean that I don’t think I can do this if you’re with Lena.”
“So, you can date Emma, but I-”
“I’m not dating Emma,” Hailey interrupted and pulled Charlie closer.
“You’re not?”
“We didn’t go to the zoo. We went back to my place and talked. I told her that you and I went on a date. She can’t be with me if I’m also dating you, and I can’t not date you, Charlie.” Charlie’s eyes must have showed her surprise. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want to try. I don’t think I can do this halfway, though, Charlie. I can’t date you if you’re with someone else.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not?”
“Not anymore,” Charlie told her. “Hails, are you sure?”
“About what?”
“You and Emma? You two were just starting up again.”
“Are you trying to convince me to date Emma now?”
“No, I just know how important she is to you. She was the perfect girlfriend and-”
Hailey’s hand went to Charlie’s cheek.
“She doesn’t know me how you know me, Charlie.” Hailey lifted and then dropped her shoulders. “I don’t think anyone does, or can, honestly.”
“So, we’re going to try this? We’re going to date?” Charlie gulped audibly.
Hailey leaned in and pressed her forehead against Charlie’s. It took a moment before Charlie recognized that Hailey’s hands were sliding up the back of her t-shirt. It took her another moment before she felt the press of Hailey’s soft lips. It took only another minute before Hailey had her pressed against the counter and her hands were roaming over her back and then sliding around the front onto Charlie’s stomach. Hailey pulled back for a second and looked down; she smiled.
Just Tell Her Page 20
