“Eleanor, please. You look terrified. Whatever you have to say, can it wait one minute?”
She gazed at his face, her eyes focusing on his lips. Surprising herself, she reached up and touched her lips to his. He pulled her into his arms, his mouth taking hers in a kiss. A kiss like no other.
Breathing hard, she placed her hands on his chest to push him away. “I must talk to you. There are things you should know.”
He put both his hands under her face, holding her chin in his palms, forcing her to look up at him.
“I love you. I think you love me. That’s all I need to know.”
He kissed her again but this time it was a kiss of such gentleness it was as if a butterfly had flown across her lips.
“You don’t have to tell me anything, but I will do my best to listen if you really want to talk. I’d prefer to kiss,” he whispered as he continued to drop feather kisses on her lips.
She giggled as he kissed her all over her face.
“I like kissing you, too, but I want you to know why I turned you down. Stop doing that, you’re distracting me,” she whispered as he kissed the base of her ear while his hands massaged the back of her head. Her hair was falling down.
“Gary!”
Her tone got his attention and he stepped back from her. “You shouldn’t be so tempting. Your hair is so silky I want to see it flowing down your back covering your…”
“Gary Barrett, will you stop.” Mortified, she turned away, although his words had a funny effect on her stomach. She couldn’t think straight.
“My children may turn out black,” she blurted, watching his face closely. His eyes widened in surprise. “That’s why I can’t marry you.”
He turned her gently back to look at him, his hands remaining on her shoulders.
“What are your saying?”
“I can’t marry you. What if I had a child who looked like Rosa? The town would think I had betrayed you, or at least they would if there were any black men in town.”
“Wait a minute. What do you mean your children could turn out black? I don’t understand,” Gary said quietly before kissing her on the forehead. “Eleanor, darling, I am not rejecting you. I just need you to explain.”
She took a risk to look him in the eyes. Did he mean it? Or was she just hearing what she longed to hear. Someone who loved her despite everything. The love in his eyes encouraged her to speak.
“My mother was a slave. I inherited my father’s coloring. He was white. The son of a rich woman who threw me out before his body got cold. It was only then I found out what my heritage was. She spelled it out quite plainly what could happen to me in the future, to my children. Most of all, she made it clear, she wasn’t taking the risk of having any of her relations any other color than white.”
Shocked, he didn’t know what to say. How could anyone be so cruel? “Why didn’t your father tell you? You were old enough by the time he died.”
“Yes, I was almost twenty. I don’t know why he didn’t tell me, and I have asked myself that over and over. If I had known, I could have protected myself from my grandmother and the rest of my family. Him dying was bad enough. I lost the father I adored, but I also lost all meaning in my life. I don’t care about the money or the privilege but I lost my identity. Who am I? Who is my mother? Is she really dead like I was told? Or did she run away? Did he send her away knowing what I now know about his family? All these questions and the one person who can answer them is dead.”
He took his arms from the top of her shoulders. For a split second, she thought he was going to leave her. Instead, he pulled her so close she could barely breathe. He held her like that, stroking her back for a little while, kissing the top of her head a couple of times.
“Eleanor, I can’t imagine the pain of what you have been through, but your story makes no difference to how I feel about you. I love you and God forbid if I got hold of your grandmother I might just shake her.”
“You really don’t mind?”
“Mind? Darling, your background makes you unique. You are special. I don’t know why your father left your mother, she may have died. Or he may have realized she didn’t belong in his world. But either way, he loved you enough to not want to give you up. I love you and I will never give you up.”
“But…”
“There are no buts. I would marry you right now if I could,” he insisted.
She stood in silence, his love for her flowing from his eyes to hers.
“I want to find out what happened to my family…Mama’s family.”
“Of course you do. She may still be alive. You could have siblings. Or aunts and uncles. There must be someone who knows.” He looked down at her. “I will help you find your family. But I have a condition.”
“What?” She couldn’t stop the fear crawling up her spine into her voice.
“I want us to be married first. I don’t want anyone objecting to us getting married.”
“Why would anyone care who I married?” she asked wonderingly.
“You are so innocent and that is part of why I love you. There is a lot of bad feeling in the world and some of that is directed against people because of their color.”
“But you are white,” she was confused.
“Exactly, and you could have a big black uncle with muscles on his muscles who doesn’t like white men, particularly those with designs on his niece.”
Eleanor giggled. “You are funny.”
“I am actually serious. There is racism on both sides. After reading Uncle Tom’s Cabin, I can understand why.”
Eleanor thought of Jane and her horrific experience. Yes, she guessed she could understand too. She held onto Gary tighter. She wasn’t about to let another family member destroy her future. But maybe he was saying that about her mama’s family to give him an excuse to leave her. Maybe he…
“Did your father have any siblings? Or best friends? Someone who spent time in the US with him?”
“Don’t you think I haven’t thought of all those options. Nobody will speak to me. I don’t even know where my father lived when he was here,” she snapped back, her terror of him leaving her taking over.
He heard the terror in her voice as he felt her body shaking. His anger threatened to spill over. What sort of old witch could treat her own grandchild so badly her confidence was so low? How could he make her believe he loved her and didn’t care where she came from so long as she lived the rest of her life at his side. He kissed her gently on the forehead. Then he pushed her away and knelt on one knee in front of her.
“What are you doing?” she squeaked.
“Eleanor, please look at me. I know you have been treated abdominally by your family and everyone you held dear. But I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. I don’t care what color they are. They can be green-haired with red freckles for all I care. I will love them almost as much as I love you.”
She looked into his eyes. He wanted to chase away the fear and pain lurking in their depths. “I swear I will never hurt you. Not knowingly or intentionally.”
“But what about the gossip if we do have children?” she whispered, her voice quivering with emotion.
“So what? Let people talk. They do it anyway. We don’t have to listen to it. We don’t have to stay in Clover Springs. We can move anywhere you want.”
“I like it here.”
“So do I, but I will live with you wherever you want. So, Miss Eleanor Templeton, is that a yes?”
She looked up at him, her eyes full of hope and trust. He sucked in his breath, hoping he would never ever let her down. He would do everything in his power to make her believe in herself—in both of them.
“I’m waiting rather impatiently. I want to get back to kissing.” He waggled his eyebrows at her trying to make her smile.
She reached up and pulled him down to kiss her. This time, he let her lead the kiss following her pace, although it took all his self-control not to plunder her mouth and
make her his.
They broke apart, both breathing hard, clinging to each other as if drowning in the sea.
“I take it that is a yes?”
“Yes, Mr. Barrett. It’s a yes.”
He picked her up and spun her around so fast she got dizzy.
“Who will we tell first?”
“Wilma. She knows my story and she said she would help me if I wanted to look for my family.”
“Only once we are married. Remember your uncle?” He held out his arm trying to flex his muscles.
“I think you might want to get to exercising, darling, if you have to fight for me,” she teased.
“Anything for you, m’lady.”
Chapter 40
The Orphanage
Hearing Wilma shout, Ellen rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“Wilma, what’s wrong? Why are you shouting? Who are you? What did you say to make her like this? Didn’t you know she’d been unwell?” Ellen fired questions at Zack as she cuddled Wilma who was sobbing as if her heart was broken.
“Ellen, calm down,” Mrs. Grey suggested. “Wilma got some bad news and some wonderful news. Zack is Wilma’s friend. They first met back in eighteen sixty-two.”
“You did? I can’t remember her talking about you,” Ellen said trying not to be rude but she was angry at the state Wilma was in. Scared too if she was honest. She didn’t want Wilma collapsing again.
“Tilly, can you go for Father Molloy, please. Ask him to come immediately.” Mrs. Grey took charge. “Ellen, can you include everyone for dinner? I must go to the boarding house and check there is a room ready for Zack to stay. He is staying here for one night and then the three of us will be returning to Denver in the morning.”
“You are going away again?” Ellen said, completely astounded by what was happening in her kitchen. Wilma never left Clover Springs. She’d only come back from her trip to Denver and she was off again. “I don’t think Wilma is well enough, Mrs. Grey.”
“Ellen, you are the school teacher. I am the nurse. Now please trust me to know what is best for Wilma. Zack, would you like to come with me? I can show you the boarding house, and it will give Wilma some time to speak to Father Molloy.”
The strange man stood up, not taking his eyes off Wilma.
“Can I please return later?” he asked.
Ellen was about to say no, but Wilma nodded her head.
“Thank you. I am very sorry to upset you so much.” His eyes were glistening, his face full of concern causing Ellen to wonder about his motives. Why would he upset Wilma when he obviously cared for her?
Ellen waited for Wilma to respond but she said nothing.
“I think you should go,” Ellen said coldly. “I don’t understand what happened here but Wilma has been a friend of mine for a long time. I won’t have her upset like this.”
“Ellen, your loyalty does you credit but have a little patience. None of this is Zack’s fault. In fact, Wilma owes him a great deal,” Mrs. Grey said sharply.
Ellen’s mouth fell open as she watched Mrs. Grey escort the stranger off the premises. Mrs. Grey was Wilma’s closest friend, yet she had defended the man who upset her. Ellen wished Doc Erin was back from New York but bad weather had kept them there.
She continued to hold Wilma as the older woman cried. Ellen was crying, too, although she didn’t understand what was wrong. But it was impossible not to be emotional at the sound of Wilma’s heart breaking. The door opened admitting a shocked looking Father Molloy. He motioned to Ellen to bring Wilma to the sitting room where they could speak in private. She did and then she left them alone. Reluctantly, she closed the door giving them privacy. She knew Father Molloy would help Wilma.
Chapter 41
Samuel came back in as Ellen closed the door of the sitting room. They walked through to the kitchen.
“Is Zack gone?” Samuel asked.
“What do you know about that man?”
Samuel’s look told Ellen her tone was too sharp.
“Sorry, Samuel, but I came down from my nap to witness Wilma crying like her heart was broken and Mrs. Grey defending the stranger who made Wilma cry.”
“He seemed like a nice man. He came looking for Wilma but she was down at the school. Gary happened to be here so he went to get her while I entertained Zack. He said he knew Wilma from years back, but she wasn’t expecting him. They met up again when she went to Denver. I got the impression he was romantically interested in her. Why else turn up all dressed up on her door step?”
“I don’t know what he was after, but it can’t be anything good. Look how upset Wilma is. And he seems to have some hold over Mrs. Grey, too, as she just announced they are all traveling to Denver tomorrow. Again.” Ellen sobbed. “Mrs. Grey spoke to me like I was a child. I know she speaks to other people like that sometimes but rarely with me.”
“Try not to judge until we know all the facts, Ellen, darling. I know you love Wilma but she is an adult.”
“But I just…oh, Samuel, what could be so wrong to make her cry like that?” Ellen asked, her voice quivering with emotion.
“I don’t know, darling, but come here and give me a hug. We will find out soon enough. In the meantime, we got to think of the children.”
Ellen knew her husband was right. She went willingly into his arms and prayed whatever had upset Wilma wouldn’t take her away from Clover Springs forever. She meant too much to everyone.
“Wait. Did you say Eleanor was left teaching the school alone?” she asked, an incredulous expression on her face.
“Well, I had to get Wilma…” Samuel said.
“Hi, Miss Ellen,” Rosa greeted her as she came in the door. “Why you cuddling Mr. Samuel like that?”
“Afternoon, Rosa. How was school?” Samuel asked.
“It was fun today. Mr. Gary helped Miss Eleanor but she kept going all red. I think she was annoyed with him. But he wasn’t doing anything just telling us how lucky we were to have someone as nice as her as a teacher.”
Ellen looked at her husband, his eyes dancing with laughter, as he struggled to keep a straight face.
“Did Gary stay the whole time?” Ellen asked.
“Yes, he told us all about London. He used to live there when he was a little boy. He said it’s a bit like it was in those stories you read to us by the guy Charles…” Rosa bit her lip trying to remember the authors name.
“Dickens, darling. Yes, I guess it would have changed a bit.”
“Where’s Wilma? Mr. Gary said she had a ‘tingushed visitor.”
Samuel and Ellen laughed. Samuel rubbed Rosa’s hair. “You mean a distinguished visitor.”
“That’s what I said,” Rosa insisted.
“Wilma is in the sitting room talking to Father Molloy in private. She will see you later. Can you come and help me with dinner, please?”
“Yes, Miss Ellen.”
Chapter 42
They fed the children first so the adults could eat and talk in private. The children must have picked up on the atmosphere as they were very quiet, not at all like their usual chatty selves. Ellen longed to tell them they didn’t have anything to worry about but she couldn’t. Not when she didn’t know what was going on. She bit her lip continuously looking at the sitting room door but there was no sign of Wilma or Father Molloy. She kept dinner as long as she could but if they didn’t come soon it risked being spoiled.
A knock on the back door announced Mrs. Grey with Zack following in her wake. Laura and Paul were with her, too, their presence not helping Ellen’s sense of panic. Laura was ill and should be resting at home. What was she doing here?
“I asked Laura and Paul to join us as Wilma has a story to tell. It is best if Laura hears if firsthand as Wilma won’t want to repeat it. I would ask you all to have patience and listen to Wilma. It will be painful but we all have to be brave,” Mrs. Grey said trying to smile, but it didn’t work. She rubbed a tear away from her eye while Ellen stared at her. She couldn’t believe Mrs. Gre
y was so emotional in front of others. This was a side of her they rarely saw.
“Ellen, darling, please stop looking at Zack as if he was the devil himself. He is part of Wilma’s story but in a good way,” Mrs. Grey said before smiling at Ellen.
Ellen felt Samuel’s arm sneak around her waist.
“I apologize for my wife’s reaction. She is very fond of Wilma, and given Wilma’s recent illness, she is also very protective. She didn’t mean it personally, did you darling?”
Everyone stared at Ellen. She swallowed hard before looking Zack in the eyes.
“I apologize, Mr. Zack. I may have jumped to conclusions,” Ellen said apologetically.
“It’s Zack and there are no apologies necessary. I am heartened to see how many friends my Wilma has and—”
He was interrupted by Wilma opening the door of the kitchen, Father Molloy following behind.
“I ain’t your Wilma.”
“I know you aren’t yet, but I hope you will be soon,” Zack added softly.
Ellen wasn’t sure Wilma or anyone else heard him.
“Thank you for being here. Ellen has made dinner and we’ve kept her waiting long enough. We eat first and then we talk.” Wilma’s tone told them not to try arguing.
“Paul and I have eaten so we will wait with the children. Call us when you are ready,” Laura said before almost running out the door. Ellen wished she could follow her. She wasn’t hungry and was certain anything she tried to eat would stick in her throat.
The meal passed in silence. Judging by the amount of food left on the serving plates, Ellen wasn’t the only one to lose their appetite. She quickly cleared away the leftover food. It wouldn’t go to waste, not with so many children around. She put the water on to boil for the coffee and checked on the children. Tilly had come over from Reverend Timmons’s house to help put the children to bed as she always did. Ellen asked some of the older children to help her and instructed the rest of them not to enter the kitchen. She quickly explained that the adults needed to speak in private. She called Laura and Paul back to the kitchen.
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