Baffled, I swung the door open; a huge black wolf sat on the front steps looking up at me hopefully. He was so big, his large head was almost even with my shoulder. I knew almost immediately that it was Connor. Almost without thought, I swung the door shut in his furry face.
I heard a deep muffled growl before he began to softly scratch at the door with another pleading whine.
Like I hadn’t heard the growl, I made a face at the door.
A little woof accompanied a more determined swipe at the door with his claws.
Against my better judgment I opened the door and scowled at him from where I stood holding the door partially closed. “What?”
The wolf stood and walked to the door, giving it a little nudge with his nose before looking up at me and wagging his tail. Dizzy bounced around behind me, barking eagerly.
I hesitated, knowing this could be a pivotal moment in the whole scheme of things. I didn’t want to give away any ground I’d gained earlier by winning the argument about where I was staying. Wouldn’t letting him in totally make that a moot point?
He barked at me impatiently.
I frowned at him. “This doesn’t mean I’m ready to play happy family with you.”
Large golden eyes that stared intently into mine gave me the eerie feeling that he could see straight into my soul.
Shaking the feeling off, I firmed my shoulders. “If I let you in, it won’t mean a thing regarding the mate issue.”
Connor just sat down and looked at me as if he could sit there all night. I wasn’t sure if he even understood me as an animal, or how much of the human side was retained when a werewolf changed.
“Oh, all right,” I said sourly as I opened the door and let him in; somehow he wasn’t nearly as intimidating to me as a wolf.
Connor ran quickly in the door through the living room to the bedroom I’d claimed as my own and jumped up on the bed. Dizzy bounded after him, curling up happily next to him.
Closing the door to my bedroom, I turned to study them both. “Where am I supposed to sleep?”
He obligingly moved his big furry body over to one side and barked softly in invitation.
I knew I shouldn’t give in and let him stay, but somehow it felt right. As long as he stayed a wolf, everything would be fine, right?
I mean it would be like having another dog, not like I was accepting him as a mate. I stood chewing my lower lip as I thought the whole thing through.
Connor barked impatiently. Okay, it was like having another dog that was extremely bossy.
“Fine,” I said shortly as I climbed in on the other side of the bed. “You better not change back. Only pets are allowed in here and no peeking when I’m changing clothes in the morning.”
I curled up on my side, facing him and Dizzy as I pulled the covers beneath my chin.
“Goofy animals.”
I smiled and curled my hand in his thick pelt, drifting off to sleep feeling safer than I had since this whole mess started.
* * *
I was naked beneath him; he slid down my body, forcing my thighs wide as he took me in his mouth. I whimpered and lifted my hips in supplication begging for more. He gave a greedy growling sound as he licked deeply into me as if he could devour me whole. I began to shiver as I built toward release. My fingers sank deeply into his thick fur…
Wait… fur? I frowned; that didn’t make sense. Then I felt soft fur beneath my cheek and twined between my fingers, jumping when a long warm tongue licked the side of my face in response.
My eyes sprang open and I found myself staring straight into the golden gaze of the wolf sharing my bed. I was cuddled tight against him with my head resting on his chest. I almost laughed when I saw Dizabell.
She was lying on her back in the dent between us with her legs spread wide and her head lolling back, softly snoring.
Dizzy growled in protest when I rolled away from my furry companions to stand beside the bed. My movement caused her to roll off of Connor and land in the center of the bed with a plop.
“It’s time for everyone to go outside and potty.” I ignored the fact that Connor flattened his ears at me and clapped my hands loudly. “Come on, everyone out!”
I walked quickly to open my bedroom door and usher them out to the front yard.
Connor pointedly ignored my summons.
“Come on, it’s time to go outside,” I said, trying to be firm.
Connor flattened his ears and growled at me again before jumping from the bed and walking past me to the bathroom, where he nudged the door closed with his nose.
I blinked, not sure I even wanted to imagine how a wolf managed to use a toilet. When the sound of the toilet flushing echoed through the walls, I stood frozen in place.
Was he going to come back out as a man?
The door opened and to my relief the wolf’s big shaggy head pushed through the opening and he walked into the living room.
“Can you at least watch Dizzy for me, while I go to the restroom?”
He woofed in response and walked out the front door to supervise my hyper Yorkie.
While they were outside taking care of business, I ran to the bathroom to take care of my own needs and then changed into some clothes for the day.
I was happy to see that I could now fit into the size twelve jeans we’d purchased and paired them with a yellow tank top covered in little white daisies. A pair of strappy white sandals completed the outfit. Brushing my hair into a ponytail, I went to let my two ‘dogs’ back inside.
“Breakfast?” I queried on my way to the kitchen. Dizzy and Connor padded after me. Connor sniffed the kibble in Dizzy’s bowl before turning his back on it rather disdainfully and looking up at me expectantly.
“I suppose you want bacon and eggs?”
The wolf barked and nodded his big shaggy head. With a sigh I started pulling the supplies from the fridge and began breakfast.
Thankfully, Dizabell had no such problems with her regular diet; she happily gobbled down the bowl of dog food before turning a few circles and lying down for an after-breakfast nap on the rug in front of the window.
Connor watched me closely as I prepared the bacon and eggs. I only divided the food into two portions since neither Epenie nor Tera seemed to be up and placed one plate on the floor in front of Connor.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I said almost defensively as I left the plate.
I carried the other plate to the small round kitchen table and sat in one of the chairs with one leg folded beneath me so I could watch Connor while I ate.
It took only a matter of moments for me to scarf down everything on my plate, but when I finished, Connor was already licking his own clean.
“You don’t plan on spending the whole day like that, do you?”
The air around him started to shimmer and he morphed back into Connor the man right in front of me, a very naked Connor.
I blushed profusely and stared at my plate. “I didn’t mean for you to change right now!”
“Then you shouldn’t have asked questions that I couldn’t answer,” he said simply.
“I do that all the time! Just ask Dizzy!”
“Maybe later. Thank you for letting me stay here last night. I rested much better knowing you were with me and I could keep you safe.”
I nodded, still staring at my plate and muttering softly, “It still didn’t mean anything.”
“Don’t worry, I am not under any illusions that you are any more ready to accept me than you were yesterday.”
This was a horribly embarrassing situation. I had no idea where to look so I continued to stare at my empty plate.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“You’re naked! Besides, I told you I needed space and time. You said you’d give it to me,” I growled with frustration, feeling foolish for letting him stay now.
He sighed. “You were more comfortable with me as a wolf.”
“Yes. I know it’s still you and it’s ridiculous to feel saf
er that way, but I do,” I said miserably.
“Safer from who, I wonder?” he asked from right behind my chair. It took all my concentration to breathe knowing he was naked behind me. All I had to do was turn my head slightly and I could look my fill.
I stayed rigid in my seat. “What?”
“Are you safer from me or safer from yourself?”
“That’s a stupid question and I’m not answering it! I liked you fine as a wolf but now you can get out!”
I stood and opened the kitchen door that led to the garage, careful not to let my eyes stray downward; I looked at him and pointed outside.
He stopped in front of me, peering down into my eyes. I knew he could see the sea of turmoil and conflicting emotions swirling around in them as I looked up at him.
“You will let me in tonight when I come.” It was a statement, not a question.
Looking away, I simply stared stubbornly out into the side yard.
“Alexandria.” His tone demanded a response.
“Fine,” I said in a clipped tone, irritated that I actually wanted him to come back tonight. “But no more presto change-o; you can come as a wolf and you can leave as a wolf. No more breakfasts either! I don’t want to talk to you or see you again today. I want the time and space you promised.”
Once again he used a finger to tip my face up to his so I would have to look at him. “I will give you as much time as I can, Alexandria, but my patience isn’t infinite.”
“It hasn’t even been two days.”
“It’s only been a few days for you; for me it’s been a lifetime,” he said as he walked out the door and down the path.
I wondered if anyone would notice or care that he was walking around like a nudie bird. Lord, for all I knew, all the werewolves were nudists.
Maybe all the clothing I’d seen thus far was just to preserve my delicate sensibilities. My eyes nearly crossed at the thought.
I needed to start making a list of all the questions that needed to be asked. New body or not, I didn’t plan to spend the rest of my life walking around naked and that’s all there was to it!
Chapter Seven
My fear of a lifetime of nudity was apparently groundless, based upon the way Tera fell off her chair in peals of laughter.
“That’s the funniest thing you’ve said to date; it might be a good way to keep humans out of the way, turning Wolf Creek into a nudist colony. I can’t wait to tell everyone about the naked thing.”
“Please don’t, it was an honest question. Connor was naked when he left.”
She sat up and cocked her head with a frown. “Connor was naked where?”
“He came as a wolf last night and then changed before he left this morning.”
Tera came up off the floor to stand in front of me with an eager expression. “Connor was here and he was naked? You decided to accept him as your mate? This is wonderful news!”
“No! I haven’t accepted him or anyone else as my mate. For goodness’ sake, I’m not the only one around here who jumps to conclusions.”
Her shoulders slumped in disappointment. “It would have been nice if everything was settled.”
I frowned. “Why does it matter so much to you?”
“If Connor was settled down with a mate, his power would increase to the point the others would no longer be a threat. With Connor at full power, all of us would be stronger.”
“Great! That’s just great! Now not only do I have to decide my future in the next ten minutes, but the entire future of the pack hinges on my decision. What a load of crap!”
Tera made a face. “I wasn’t trying to put more pressure on you, but you asked why I cared so much. Plus, Connor’s a great guy and I would like to see him happy and it isn’t a load of crap.”
“Gee, how much more stuff can be heaped on my shoulders? A little more than a week to get used to the idea of being a werewolf of all things, vampires exist, the rest of my life is already mapped out, and my decision on whether or not to accept that future affects the entire pack. Lovely!”
I yelled the last bit over my shoulder as I stomped out the front door.
“Where are you going?” Tera asked, a little worriedly.
“For a walk, alone,” I said pointedly. When she continued to hover uncertainly on the front porch, I heaved an exaggerated sigh. “I won’t leave the compound.”
Tera’s entire stance relaxed with my reassurance and I left muttering to myself about the ridiculous nature of werewolf politics. Dealing with Washington was bad enough, now I had werewolf and vampire diplomacy to deal with as well.
I stopped as I passed Sebrina’s cottage to admire her garden. Exotic scents filled the air as I neared her small house; the front porch was lined with honeysuckle and Carolina jasmine climbing up the trellises obviously placed strategically to provide as much shade as possible to the little porch.
A man stood in the side yard in front of a bench placed in the center of a garden full of flowering plants I didn’t recognize; they were short green plants with their blooms firmly closed to the sun. He was gently stroking a finger down one of the closed blooms climbing the trellis behind the bench.
“Why aren’t any of those flowers blooming?” I asked curiously, noticing the climbing flowers were similar to those planted around the bench but not exactly the same.
He straightened, embarrassed by my presence. “They’re moon flowers, they only bloom at night.”
“I’m Xandie,” I offered hesitantly.
“Ryan,” was the man’s gruff response.
“They must be pretty, since she’s planted so many of them.”
A sad, self-deprecating smile came and quickly went as Ryan looked at the flowers, then back at me. “They have a beauty and scent like no other, totally unique.”
Then with a shake of his head he walked briskly away from the little garden and me. Everyone in this place seemed cryptic and strange. Couldn’t I just have a normal conversation with someone? Anyone?
I couldn’t even talk to Epenie; she just wanted to discuss all things werewolf. Lost in her research on a new and exciting subject, she’d gone off with Tuck earlier to interview as many werewolves and their families as she could.
As I walked I found myself standing in front of the compound wall. Suddenly, in a moment of sheer perversity, I jumped to the top of it.
It was amazing to find that kind of power in my legs; it had been as easy as jumping from one steppingstone to the next when I was a child. One small jump and there I was standing at the top of the huge stone structure.
It felt like I could see for miles. I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest as I studied the rolling hills and valleys of the greenbelt bordering the lake and winding through the neighborhood.
Six more days and I would be a full-fledged werewolf, even stronger than I was now. That kind of physical power was difficult to imagine.
There seemed be a lot of pluses for what I was affectionately calling the werewolf diet. I was thinner than I’d ever been in my life, glowing with a healthy vitality that I’d never dreamed of possessing.
I could eat anything I wanted without fear of it coming back to increase the size of my butt. That alone was almost worth being tied to the whims of the moon for the rest of my life.
But I wasn’t sure about the rest, and the thought of my entire body shifting into the form of a wolf made me nervous. Would I still be me? Would my life ever be mine again?
I wasn’t even sure I really had a choice to make regarding being Connor’s mate, but I wanted to think I did. Without that kind of vital choice it felt like I would eventually lose myself to this madness completely.
That just wasn’t acceptable to me, so I would fight to keep some measure of myself for me.
Was it selfish to put myself before the pack? A pack I didn’t even really know? Were my feelings on anything important to any of them?
I was so lost in my depressing thoughts I didn’t hear anyone coming.
“What ar
e you doing?” Tera’s voice startled me so much I lost my balance and fell off the wall with a surprised yelp, landing face first in a pile of leaves.
I blew a leaf out of my mouth and glared up at her.
“Oops,” she said with a shrug. “What were you doing up there anyways?”
Sitting up, I began to pick stray bits of leaves, twigs, and grass from my ponytail. “Just thinking.”
“You’d been gone a long time and I couldn’t find you anywhere,” Tera said reproachfully.
“I needed some time to myself. I promised I wouldn’t leave the compound and I didn’t.”
“Sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you fall,” she said, trying to heal the breach between us from our conversation earlier.
“I know.”
She followed me as I started walking back toward our cottage. “I didn’t mean to upset you earlier either.”
I nodded and kept walking.
“How long are you going to be mad at me?”
“I’m not mad. I’m just… I don’t know. How would you feel if suddenly none of your own hopes and dreams for your life mattered anymore? You quit counting as a person?”
“Who said you didn’t count?”
“You… Connor… everyone,” I said simply.
“No one said that, Xandie.”
“Mmmm… not in so many words but that’s what it amounts to.” It was obvious that she found my feelings on the matter distressing but I wasn’t up to sugarcoating it for her.
“I’m sorry I put so much on you this morning, I shouldn’t have done that. Take your time and choose what’s best for you. That’s what will benefit the pack the most in the long run. I don’t want Connor’s happiness at the expense of yours and I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” she said earnestly.
“Thanks.” I gave her a watery smile, surprised by how much her support meant to me.
We linked hands and chatted about nothing and everything as we walked. By the time we got back to the cottage, my spirits were lifted considerably.
I let Dizabell out to run around the cottage yard, and I ran with her, laughing at her antics. It was clear that another plus to being a werewolf was that she would never outrun me again. No more escaping for Dizzy.
The Alpha's Reluctant Mate Page 6
