“Who would have thought getting in touch with my inner wolf would only make things more complicated?”
Chapter Thirteen
After hiding in my room for another two hours, I decided to cook myself some dinner. I pulled on pair of baggy sweat pants and a T-shirt that read, If I threw a stick, would you go away?
Somehow those words seemed appropriate. After pulling my hair up into a tangled ponytail, I headed for the kitchen.
Tera stood up as I walked through the living room. “Are you ready for practice?”
“Not tonight. I’m staying in.” She followed closely on my heels as I entered the kitchen, almost running into me when I stopped and bent to pull out the large five-gallon stewpot.
“You’re already going to miss Thursday night.”
“And I’m missing tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow but not tonight,” I said as firmly as I could manage without sounding snippy. Hopefully by then I would be able to shake the feeling of sadness that was currently overwhelming all other emotions. Anger would have been way better and easier to focus into something else; sadness only brought more sadness until you figured out how to deal with it and moved on to your next life drama.
I could feel Tera’s eyes following me as I pulled the ingredients from the pantry and refrigerator for chicken and dumplings. The knot between my shoulder blades relaxed when she finally decided not to push me; out of the corner of my eye I saw her shrug philosophically before turning to leave the room. From the kitchen I heard Tera grab her gear and leave for sparring practice.
I was not in the mood to deal with vampires, werewolves, or whatever other supernatural beings would be at the practice field. For all I knew Medusa was out there waiting on me with her hair full of hissing vipers. I shuddered. I couldn’t deal with any more revelations tonight, be they supernatural, emotional, or simply mundane.
I was done for the day.
Softly I began to hum to myself as I poured six cans of chicken broth into the pot with a whole chicken, garlic, and onion. I recognized the tune as a hymn from my childhood, ‘I’ll Fly Away.’ I sang a few lines and then shook my head as I wiped away the lone tear tracking down my cheek. It had been a long time since I went to church and now that I was a werewolf, I wasn’t sure how that even worked. When I felt like talking to anyone, I’d have to ask. I missed the loving fellowship and communal worship found in a good church.
Though it’s said a watched pot never boils, I stood over it and watched the yellow swirls of broth that were building as the heat and pressure built. The chicken’s appearance was already starting to change as I watched, the rich smell starting to permeate the air. Reaching into the cabinet, I grabbed the poultry seasoning, salt, and pepper, adding just enough to enhance the natural flavors already developing in the pot.
While the chicken continued to cook, I chopped up some carrots and pulled some frozen peas out of the freezer and added them all to the boiling chicken. I would make dumplings while the chicken continued to cook until it fell off the bone. Then I would drop a dumpling at a time into the boiling broth. The flour from the dumplings would mix into the broth, making it thick and rich by the time the doughy goodness was ready. My mouth watered at the thought and I grinned as I realized with my new appetite and metabolism, I could eat the whole pot by myself with very little consequence.
I’d just finished the dumplings and lined them up to go in the pot when someone knocked at the door. It was Sebrina; I stood aside so she could come in.
She didn’t say anything but followed me to the kitchen and watched as I slowly added the dumplings. “It’s like matzo ball soup!” she said softly.
“What?” I asked, confused by the reference.
“What you’re making reminds me of matzo ball soup.”
I smiled at her. “It’s chicken and dumplings.”
Sebrina nodded. “Matzo ball soup is the Jewish version of chicken and dumplings. You should have tasted my grandmother’s; her matzo balls were so light and fluffy, they practically floated into your bowl.”
I snorted. “My dumplings are a little denser than that but I enjoy them.”
“That’s all that matters, my friend.”
I studied her across the counter, then sighed. “Connor gave me a choker and then refused to give me the key, like I was some sort of pet or something.”
Her soft brown eyes filled with compassion, Sebrina nodded. “I heard.”
I frowned. “Tera?”
She smiled and shook her head. “One of the other wolves. Several of them heard Tera reading him the riot act. Brave girl; he would have been within his rights as pack leader to banish anyone who questioned his authority.”
“Connor would never do that,” I said, kind of surprised by how quickly I jumped to his defense.
“No, he wouldn’t, he’s a better man than that, but it’s interesting that you know him so well.”
I shrugged and busied myself staring into the boiling broth again.
“I notice you aren’t wearing the choker,” she said softly.
“Real subtle, Sebrina; he gave me the key and apologized,” I said with a pointed look in her direction.
Sebrina laughed. “I’m only trying to help you see the big picture, Xandie, not trying to take sides. Ultimately you will make the decision that is best for you. None of us have a right to assume we know what that is. Not even Connor.”
I smirked, “Careful, he might banish you.”
A satisfied smile came over her face as she looked back at me. “I have diplomatic immunity.”
By the time we finished laughing I felt more like myself again. Sebrina was right; when I was ready to make a decision, I would. It was as simple as that.
Sebrina went to the living room to pick a movie for us to watch while I got myself some dinner. In no time at all I was sitting on the couch armed with a large bowl of soup and a spoon as we laughed at the antics of Paul Blart, Mall Cop. In my book, pay-per-view movies are one of the greatest inventions of the modern age. As predicted I finished every last drop of soup in the pot. Good thing Sebrina was on a liquid diet since I didn’t feel like sharing.
As dawn’s fingers slowly made their way across the horizon, Sebrina made her way back to the little cottage next door to retire for the day. I watched from my doorway as her door closed quietly behind her and wondered how long it would be before the good doctor arrived to sit silently in her garden wishing she were there. Such a sad situation, but it also made me want to kick both of them in the head. So what if one was a vampire and the other a werewolf? Did that change the basic person beneath all the fur and fangs? They obviously still loved each other deeply but both were too stubborn to admit it to the other.
I decided to stop worrying about their situation as I remembered what Sebrina said to me; when you are ready, you will make the right decision for you. She would too and I would stand by her no matter what that decision was, just as she would stand by me.
Tera and Epenie had come in earlier while Sebrina and I were watching episodes of Shark Week on the Discovery channel, but didn’t seem inclined to talk, going into their respective rooms and closing the doors almost as soon as they arrived.
A lot had happened in the last few days so I didn’t begrudge them a little time to digest everything. Hopefully when they were ready to talk they would understand my position on things and not push me into making a decision about Connor and the pack before I was ready. Pushing me much harder would push me right out the door and that might not be the decision I would choose to make if given time to think it through.
You would think that now that we had all those fabulous wolf instincts, matters of the heart would be simpler, but actually it made things a little more complex. My wolf was drawn sharply to Connor as mate, but my human self was not anywhere near ready for that kind of commitment, even though he did tug at my heartstrings more than a little.
I yawned as I let Dizabell out to do her thing. Well, as Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is
another day,” and would be soon enough to settle all the problems of my world.
Dizzy and I snuggled down into my bed and I stroked her fur until I fell asleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Vera had a surprise for us when we arrived at the practice field. I was truly touched when she presented me with a pair of black shoes with a silver spike heel in my size. A similar pair was handed to Tera.
With eager grins we pulled off our socks and shoes to model our new acquisitions. Standing carefully, I was shocked at how tall I felt. The four-inch spikes brought me up to almost 5′8″! Looking down, I could see how long and luscious the heels made my legs look. It almost made me giggle… Tera and I looked as lethal as we now were. It was amazing what a few inches will do to boost a girl’s morale.
“If you’re through admiring yourselves, let’s see how you are at target practice,” Vera said, indicating the straw dummies set up in the middle of the practice field. As we watched, she launched herself in a graceful arch, neatly sinking one heel into the heart of the nearest dummy, then pulling it out almost as quickly to land lightly beside it. “Like buttah,” she said, grinning with a flash of fang.
Tera took up an aggressive stance facing one of the dummies and then catapulted herself toward the dummy feet first, her heels sinking into the straw with a satisfying thud. She wasn’t as good at disengaging herself as Vera had been; one foot came out easily but the other seemed to lodge in place, leaving Tera dangling by one leg. Luckily the added height the heels provided allowed her free leg to stand on the ground.
Tera glared at me; I really couldn’t help the grin. “A little help?”
She nodded and I grabbed her beneath the shoulders to help her get the leverage she needed to pull out her foot. “Grin all ya want, you’re next, ya know.”
That was a sobering thought. I decided against trying to sink both feet into my substitute victim. With what I hoped was a decent war cry I launched myself in the air and sunk one heel into the neck of the dummy, choosing to wrap my other leg around him and squeeze to sink the dagger-sharp point even deeper. Then pushing off with the balls of my feet, I shot myself back into the air and landed a few feet away. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I lost my balance on landing and fell flat on my butt.
I decided to ignore Tera’s satisfied snicker.
“Good first attempts. Now do it again and do it better,” Vera said firmly. We attacked again and again for the next several hours, until I thought we would be able to kill dummies in our sleep. I knew moving targets might be a different matter, but I had a feeling that our instruction was far from over. Vera was nothing if not a stern taskmaster.
By the time Vera took her leave and released us from practice, the fingers of dawn were once again making an appearance on the horizon. Tera and I wearily made our way home to our beds, heels dangling from our fingers, legs burning and aching from hours of fighting in them. But I knew I was already stronger and better after the practice. I was growing more and more confident in my skills as a warrior. Sid wouldn’t be able to make me his victim a third time. Next time I would be more than ready for him.
I said my goodnights to Tera before curling up in my bed. Dizzy protested the disturbance when I climbed in but quickly snuggled back down, happy to have me home to curl up with. I dropped the shoes beside the bed and hoped I wouldn’t step on the silver later when I climbed out of bed.
Vera had promised moving targets at the next practice, which could only mean we would be battling vampires, since the silver would be toxic to the other wolves. My spine tingled a little as I thought of another spar with Ethan, but I knew it was more in response to Connor’s predicted response than Ethan himself.
It was terrible to admit but even though I didn’t want to commit to him, a part of me deep inside was thrilled by his jealousy, his need to possess. The dog collar was still way over the top, but though I didn’t want to be owned, my body yearned for his possession. Just being in the same room with him brought every nerve ending on my body thrumming to life and I was in a quandary about that, because there was no way to assuage the need he was awakening in me without surrendering to both the need and Connor himself.
Surrendering was not something I was prepared to do, not now… maybe not ever.
Chapter Fifteen
Finally the day of arbitration arrived. I dressed in the prerequisite clothing, sans pearls of course. If Connor noticed the absence of the necklace when he saw us off, he didn’t mention it. “Try not to worry. Ed will handle everything and remember that Tera and Tuck have your back.”
Epenie stepped forward and tucked an arm in mine. “So do I.”
Connor smiled, obviously pleased by evidence of E’s devotion to me. “See, you’re all covered.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my forehead, a frown shadowing his features as he studied me seriously. “I’m sorry I can’t be there as well.”
I waved a hand airily in his direction. “No problem, it’s all good,” I said, climbing into the backseat of the waiting limo.
Epenie looked at me incredulously as I sank down onto the seat next to her. “It’s all good?”
I felt my face color hotly. “I just wanted him to know it was okay. He doesn’t need to take time out of his busy schedule for my little problems.”
“Connor can’t come because he is afraid he will lose control. You don’t understand how tenuous control is for a mated alpha who hasn’t been able to secure his mate.” Tuck’s rebuke was aimed at me but he was looking right at Epenie when he said it.
Epenie squirmed under his heated regard. “Stop it,” she hissed at him. “This is not the time or place.”
“Woman, the day will come when you will no longer be able to put me off,” Tuck said succinctly before turning to stare out the window.
Epenie decided to content herself with crossing her arms and glaring at the back of his head.
I frowned over at Tera. “What’s the big deal? Why would it be so hard for Connor to control himself?”
Tuck looked at me as if I was stupid and Tera gave an exaggerated sigh before explaining, “You’re being threatened. Trust me when I say arbitration is not the way his instincts are screaming at him to handle the threat.”
I blinked in surprise. “Oh.”
It was hard getting used to the way a werewolf would instinctively deal with a threat as opposed to his human counterpart. As a human, violence would never have crossed my mind in almost any given situation; as a werewolf, violence was second nature.
“I didn’t realize,” I said softly. “I was still thinking like a human.”
Tuck snorted and returned to looking out the window; Epenie kicked him sharply in the ankle before turning back to me. “It’s okay, this world is totally new and there’s a lot to learn. Another reason a manual isn’t a bad idea. In fact, I’ve been thinking…”
I quirked a questioning brow in her direction.
“Why don’t we call the manual The Werewolf Diet?” she asked with a grin.
I laughed out loud. “That’s a great idea!”
Tuck frowned at both of us. “A book with our history noted and secret information about our race would be a very dangerous thing.”
“That’s why this title is perfect!” Epenie explained eagerly. “Anyone who comes across it by accident will believe it to be a scary story about werewolves. No one would guess that the information enclosed was actually true.”
Epenie was brilliant!
Tera pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You know, it might work.”
Tuck scowled. “Connor will have to approve of anything you do. For the record, I still do not think it’s a good idea to put our history in writing.”
“Duly noted,” Epenie said with her own scowl.
Tuck went back to looking out the window and before we knew it the limo was pulling up in front of my old office building. It was the moment of truth.
Ed was waiting for us at the curb and took my arm to lead me into the building aft
er inspecting my costume and pronouncing it perfect.
We were flanked by Tera, Tuck, and E; all of them surrounding me made me feel safe and a lot less threatened by the whole lawsuit thing. Ed announced us to the receptionist once we arrived in the lobby and we were quickly escorted to a conference room.
As familiar as this place was to me, now it seemed foreign and alien, far removed from my new life. John and his attorney stood when we entered the room. Simone sat stiffly, refusing to grant us even that little sign of respect.
As discussed, I smiled brilliantly at John and Simone. “John, Simone, this is my attorney Ed Spradlin and some of my colleagues.” I smiled again, indicating Tuck, Tera, and E.
“Xandie?” John said softly, still standing and staring at me with a flummoxed expression.
Simone looked livid. “What are you people trying to pull? This is not Alexandria Pace.”
I laughed, letting the husky sound float up from deep in my throat. “Of course it’s me, Simone. Do I need to provide fingerprints to verify my identity?”
“I’m sure that won’t be necessary, Ms. Pace. This is of course just a preliminary deposition. I need to take your statement about the day you attacked Mr. Drake.”
I blinked, a little surprised by how quickly they started going on the offensive. Ed had warned me that they would come on fast and strong in an effort to frighten me into a quick confession and apology. Before I could say anything in my defense, Ed stood and pulled a thick legal brief from his attaché case.
“I think you will find these in order,” he said as he handed the legal papers over to John’s attorney.
The attorney frowned. “What’s this?”
“Why, file marked copies of Ms. Pace’s countersuit for sexual harassment. You didn’t think there wouldn’t be a response after the appalling actions of your company, did you?” Ed asked as if shocked by their surprise as he sat back down next to me.
John blustered to his feet. “This is ridiculous!”
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