by Simon Lelic
Leo busied himself until Garrie retreated – not quite to the corridor, this time, but far enough that he was out of Daniel’s eye line. Leo closed his pad and clicked his pen, then shut them in his case and shifted himself further onto Daniel’s mattress. He hooked one ankle over the other and set his hands in his lap.
‘You’re right.’
The boy looked up.
‘I’m rushing things. I’m sorry. We don’t need to decide anything right away.’
Daniel’s eyes narrowed and Leo hurried on.
‘Why don’t we go for a walk. You could show me round. What’s outside?’
Daniel shrugged. ‘Grass, mainly.’
‘I’d like to see. Will you show me?’
‘It’s just grass. And anyway they follow you like you’ve just walked into Asda with a sack.’ He gestured with a glance towards Garrie. ‘Three of them do.’
Leo met Garrie’s eye. ‘Three of them?’ The guard looked away.
‘I get three. The others just get one. Except for Stash. He’s eighteen. He’s… he’s scary. He gets three like me.’
‘I see,’ said Leo. ‘Well.’ He searched the room for inspiration. ‘What else, then? Is there anything else we could do?’
‘There’s a games room.’
‘A games room? Terrific. Why didn’t you say so? What do they have?’
Daniel looked blank.
‘What is there? In the games room? Darts or something?’ There wouldn’t be darts. Christ, Leo.
‘There’s board games. Monopoly but they’ve taken all the money. And table tennis.’
Leo set his feet on the floor. ‘What are we waiting for then? Table tennis. It’s been a while but I think I remember how to score.’
Daniel shook his head. He slumped.
‘What? What’s wrong?’
‘I’m rubbish. I can’t do it.’
‘Nonsense. It’s fun. Come on, I’ll show you how it’s—’
‘No!’
Leo sat down again, on the edge of the bed. He waited for the seconds to soothe the air.
‘There’s a PlayStation.’ Daniel’s words were a mutter.
‘A what?’
‘A PlayStation. You know. Computer games. I never get a go but we would if you told them we had to.’
‘Told them? Told who?’
‘The others. The bigger boys.’ Daniel looked down.
‘Fine.’ Leo stood. ‘The PlayStation it is. You’ll have to show me. I probably can’t even remember how to hold a joystick.’
Daniel, briefly, gave Leo a look that would have suited Ellie.
‘On your feet, then,’ Leo said. ‘Lead the way. I mean…’ Leo turned to Garrie. ‘Assuming it’s okay?’
The guard, finally, showed he could smile. He stepped into the corridor. Daniel went next and Leo trailed, his gaze on the boy’s narrow shoulders. At the door Leo stopped. ‘Wait,’ he said, thinking: sod the jury. He turned back into the room. ‘We might get hungry.’ He reached for the plate of sandwiches.
11
He paced. Sitting was out of the question. He felt like a nervous father – or a father soon to be. Although that was probably down to the surroundings: the off-the-peg void of the public-institution canteen. There was nothing to distract him, that was the problem. No one either, not even behind the counter. If Leo had not been alone, he would have busied himself with at least a pretence of looking busy. As it was he simply paced, his shuttling between cutlery and condiments interrupted only by a glance, every ten steps or so, towards the door.
He would have liked to prepare her. He had briefed her on the telephone barely twenty-four hours ago but a dozen things had occurred to him since that she would, he was sure, have found useful. Things, more to the point, that might prove useful to their case – and that Karen, without forewarning, might overlook. It would be Leo’s fault: if an insight were bypassed that should have been signposted; if the answers that Daniel gave were to the wrong questions – or if the boy, at the last, failed to answer at all. Karen, though, had been insistent. That’s fine, Leo. That’s all I need to know. She had made her own way here and would have been making her way straight home again, had Leo not pleaded for a first-impressions debrief before she left.
But it was taking an age. Seven more minutes and he could start to reckon in hours. Daniel gets restless, he should have said. Don’t push him or you’ll push him away. And he’s only twelve. Just remember he’s only twelve. Even the police kept their sessions to less than an hour and most of those were thirty minutes too long. He’s not used to sustained conversation. He’s not used to conversation, full stop.
Not that Karen would have needed telling. She was a professional, after all. And that it was taking so long was probably a good sign. Wasn’t it? Unless it was taking this long because they had barely started. It was entirely possible, given Daniel’s record with such things. The police, the boy’s parents, the social worker, even Leo: they could all testify to that.
‘Not talking to yourself are you, Leo?’
The voice was at Leo’s shoulder. ‘Karen.’
‘It’s one of the things we look for, you know. That and hairy palms.’ Karen tilted her head to get a view of Leo’s hands.
Leo looked too, then offered one for Karen to shake. ‘How did it go? Was Daniel okay? Did he speak to you? What did he say?’
‘I need coffee. Is there coffee?’
‘What? Oh.’ Leo peered towards the counter. ‘Probably. I don’t know.’
‘Want one?’ Karen aimed herself towards the coffee machine in the corner. The pot on the hot plate was empty so she started filling it. Leo followed and loitered by her side.
‘No,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’ Then, again, ‘How did it go?’
Karen peered at him across the frames of her glasses. She rolled her eyes and resumed her search for an on switch. She found it, flicked it, then stood upright and began with a sigh.
‘He needs help, Leo. Counselling at the very least. What he’s been through, what he’s going through: it’s clear he isn’t coping.’
‘Not coping? What do you mean? I thought he seemed okay. Given the circumstances.’
‘He’s twelve, Leo. He’s doing his best to act tough but tough is only ever a shell. It’s what lies beneath that concerns me.’
The coffee machine gurgled and started to dribble. Karen reached for a cup. She brandished a second at Leo. ‘You sure?’
Leo waved away the offer. ‘So… what? He wouldn’t speak to you, is that what you’re saying?’
‘He spoke to me.’ Karen filled her mug and raised it level with her chin. The steam from the coffee misted her glasses and she blew.
She was making him wait. They had not spoken to each other in years and now Leo had finally got in touch, it was only because there was something from her that he needed. So she was punishing him. This is what you get, she was telling him. This is what you get when you assume that friendship doesn’t deflate when you neglect to fill it once in a while with a little air.
‘We should get a drink,’ Leo said. ‘Or I’ll buy you lunch. Because I know it’s been a while and I know we haven’t even caught up but really, Karen, this is important. I called you because I knew I could trust you and because I didn’t think you would mind if—’
‘Leo,’ Karen said. ‘Calm yourself. I’m thinking, that’s all. I’m digesting. I didn’t even stop on my way from seeing Daniel to visit the ladies’. I didn’t dare.’
Leo made as though to answer.
‘Ordinarily, you know, we wouldn’t even be talking. Not yet, anyway. I don’t work like this, Leo. I don’t like to work like this.’
Leo looked to the floor. This was Karen, he recalled. This was why, when they had had their fling at university, they had reverted to friendship after barely a week. Not because they did not enjoy each other’s company but because they were configured to function at a different RPM: Leo at forty-five, Karen a more considered thirty-three.
Again Kar
en sighed. The sigh, Leo thought, was new. Probably it was one of the things she had acquired in qualifying for her profession. That and her oversize jewellery.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry. I should give you some time.’ He considered the room. ‘I’ll wait over there. You finish your coffee.’
Karen gave a gee-thanks snort. She winced through another sip then gestured for Leo to tag behind as she made her way towards the seats. ‘It’s fine,’ she said, taking one. Leo slid into the chair opposite and propped his elbows on the table, his chin on his interlinked hands. ‘Just so long as this conversation is about what we agreed it would be: first impressions, nothing more. Okay?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Leo. ‘First impressions.’
Karen, briefly, tightened her gaze. ‘Daniel,’ she began and she paused. ‘Daniel is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.’ She met Leo’s eye. ‘And that’s not a first impression, Leo. That’s a diagnosis. He’s not sleeping. He’s eating but only because he’s bingeing. He has nightmares, flashbacks, repressed memories that are refusing to stay that way. And he’s enuretic. Did you know that?’
Leo recalled the boy’s rubber sheets. ‘I had an idea.’
‘Not that it means anything necessarily. He may well have been so before. The point is, he needs help. Skilled therapeutic input. Something he is categorically not receiving here.’
Leo frowned and Karen rattled a hand.
‘It’s not their fault,’ she said. ‘The staff here – and Bobby, is it? The bloke in charge? – they seem competent enough, caring enough. I’m certain, if they were permitted to, they would ensure Daniel got all the help he needs. But they’re not permitted to. Are they, Leo?’ It was not a question; it was an accusation. As though Leo, facing her, were representing the entire legal system. Which in a way, he supposed, he was.
‘He’ll get treatment, Karen. Once the trial is over, there’ll be no end of doctors through his door.’
Karen drew her chin towards her collarbone. ‘Right. Once the trial is over. Although by then, of course, he could be permanently damaged. But what the hell. He stands accused so his rights hardly matter. Forget about the presumption of innocence – it’s the evidence against him we need to protect.’
‘Look, Karen, I—’
Karen held up a hand. Her jewellery jangled. ‘I know, I know. I’m sorry. But you asked me for first impressions and that’s the issue that made an impression first. If you wanted to avoid an earful, you should at least have let me finish my coffee.’
Leo smiled, looked down.
Karen, after a moment, smiled too. ‘But your case. You want to talk about your case.’
‘We need something, Karen. He did it; he said he did it. We’re not trying to get away from that. But you’ve met him now. You’ve seen him. He’s just a kid.’
Karen, slowly, nodded. ‘He is that. But he killed. He…’ She shifted. ‘He did more than kill. If you’re asking me to find something that will excuse it…’
‘Not excuse it. Explain it. He’s twelve, Karen. He has fifty, sixty, seventy years of life ahead of him.’
‘There you are then. He’s twelve. That’s an argument. Isn’t it?’
‘It’s an argument,’ Leo said. ‘It’s not a defence. It would have been, a year or so ago, but the law, now, is definitive. You only need to be ten. If you’re ten, you know right from wrong. That’s the line.’
‘The line. As in, the point of no return. If you weren’t yet ready to cross it, you shouldn’t have been reckless enough to celebrate another birthday.’
‘Something like that.’ Leo stared at the table, drummed with his fingertips. He looked up. ‘What about that, though? He’s twelve but could we argue, say, that his mental age was lower?’
‘Three years lower?’
‘It would have to be.’
Karen puffed. With a look, she showed her answer. ‘I’ve only met him once, Leo. And I’m on your side. But he’s bright, he’s emotionally developed. You should test his IQ but it will be there or thereabouts. He’s of his age. There’s not a psychiatrist I know who would go on record disputing that. None I respect, rather.’
‘You mean you wouldn’t?’
‘I couldn’t. How could I? I’m not going to lie for you, Leo. I mean, I hope that’s not why you asked me here because, really, you should know—’
‘Karen. Please. That’s not what I meant. I’m just…’
‘Thinking aloud?’
‘Exactly.’
There was a silence.
‘What about this…’ Leo rolled his hand. ‘This post-traumatic stress thing. Is there any chance he could have been suffering from that at the time of the attack?’
Karen was already shaking her head. ‘None.’
‘Why not?’
‘The clue is in the question, Leo.’
‘Yes, no, I realise that but could he not have been suffering from something else first? Something that led to whatever he has now?’
‘He killed a girl. That’s why he has post-traumatic stress disorder. You don’t just kill someone and not suffer some emotional backlash. Not unless you’re a psychopath.’
Leo raised his head.
‘Bloody hell, Leo. Don’t look so hopeful. He’s not a psychopath. You surely don’t need a shrink to tell you that.’
‘No.’ Leo slumped. ‘No, of course not.’ He slid his hands across his face. He exhaled again, audibly.
‘What about you, Leo?’
Leo blinked.
‘How are you? I mean, you look tired and I’m sure you are but apart from that. How are things?’ Karen’s mug was in front of her and she turned it. ‘I heard about your father,’ she added, tentatively. ‘It must have been hard for you.’
Leo felt the weight of her stare. ‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Honestly. I mean – ’ he laughed; he had to force it ‘ – is business that bad? Because even if you’re offering me mates’ rates, I’m not sure I could afford you.’ He laughed again, grinned – and felt a burn building in his jaw.
Karen, for a moment, made him suffer it. ‘You can’t fool me,’ she said. And then she smiled. ‘A celebrity lawyer like you?’ She gestured. ‘That tie,’ she said. ‘That suit. They’re just a disguise to throw off all the gold-diggers. Right?’
Leo looked down at what he was wearing.
‘What about Megan, though,’ Karen persisted. ‘And Eleanor. This whole thing must be quite a strain for you all.’
‘A strain?’ Leo, involuntarily, thought of the note. It was a prank, he had decided. Whoever wrote it: a crank. Which was the reason he had not yet mentioned it to his wife. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘Come on, Leo. Don’t be disingenuous. This isn’t exactly a drunk and disorderly you’re dealing with here.’
No. Exactly. Karen, if no one else, understood. ‘That’s the thing, though,’ said Leo. ‘It was always going to be outside our comfort zone. We expected that from the start.’
‘We?’
Now Leo, in spite of himself, bridled. ‘It’s important, Karen. Daniel needs my help. I’m not going to forsake him just because everyone else seems to think he should be left to rot.’
‘No. Of course not. I understand that completely. I just…’ Karen seemed to contemplate saying something more. ‘I didn’t mean to pry,’ she said instead. ‘You looked tired, that’s all.’ She smiled until Leo mirrored it.
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Meg, Ellie: we’re all fine.’
‘Good. I’m glad to hear it.’ Karen slid her mug to the centre of the table. She smiled once more and she stood.
‘Wait,’ Leo said, standing too. ‘You’re not going? What about Daniel?’
‘We agreed, Leo: first impressions, that’s all.’
‘I know but there must be something. Mustn’t there?’
‘Something? You mean some reason why a boy of twelve murders a girl he barely knows?’ Karen, all of a sudden, looked weary. She sighed once more and her strength, with her brea
th, seemed to leave her. She propped herself against the table. ‘There’s always a reason, Leo. Sometimes there are a thousand reasons.’
‘I just need one. Just to start with. Diminished responsibility, Karen: it’s the only chance Daniel’s got.’
Karen made a face. ‘You’re looking at this backwards. Aren’t you? I thought the idea was to consider the evidence and then decide your plea.’
‘Maybe. Sometimes. But you said it yourself: there’s always a reason. Right?’
Karen regarded him. She stood straighter and buttoned her coat.
‘Daniel’s family,’ she said. ‘Is there any way I could meet with them?’
‘Maybe.’ Leo looked up. ‘Why? What did he say about them?’
Karen came close and kissed Leo’s cheek. ‘Take care of yourself, Leo. Try and catch up on some sleep.’
Leo tracked her progress towards the door. ‘Karen?’
She turned.
‘What did he say about them?’
Karen twitched a shoulder. ‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘Nothing at all.’
12
It had not worked. It always worked. Think of an outcome: the worst thing that could happen or the most unlikely or even, sometimes, the thing you most wanted to take place – and it would not. That was the rule. So sometimes it worked to spite you and sometimes it worked as a ward but it always, one way or another, worked.
Except it had not.
The envelope had been tucked amid the pile of letters. Leo had been late after spending most of the day out of the office, so he had carried the pile into the meeting room. He had shuffled and shuffled again and as he had backed himself blindly into his seat, there it was. Just where he had expected it to be and just, therefore, where it should not have been.
‘Leonard?’
‘Mm.’
‘Leonard.’
Leo looked up. ‘What? Yes. Sorry, I…’
