by Chandra Ryan
“Something I would have never known without you.” Her voice was soft as she thought about her stay here seven years ago. It was then that she’d finally managed to get sober and he’d told her about her mother’s death and her father’s role in it.
“I’m sure I wasn’t the first to tell you.”
“No, but you stuck with me until I was finally ready to listen.”
“I would have given anything to raise you and Nikki, but…”
She didn’t like the lines of guilt that surrounded his eyes as he spoke. Gus she couldn’t forgive. He’d turned his back on her and Nikki time and time again. He’d even turned a blind eye to Izzy’s budding drug habit out of fear of retaliation from her father. But Bastion she did forgive. Bastion had been there when it truly mattered. “We would have loved that, but we understand. You’d already taken your vows.”
He nodded solemnly and then turned to look at Jacob. “God does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t he?”
She was used to her uncle talking in riddles, but even she couldn’t follow him this time. “What do you mean?”
His gaze seemed locked on Jacob. “If I hadn’t taken my vows, and if you hadn’t lived through those hellish years before finding your way back to me, you might not have met your Chosen.”
Her gaze followed his and her heart contracted painfully. “He’s not mine.”
“I don’t know if he’d agree. He’s barely left your side since he brought you in.”
The conversation was quickly making her uncomfortable. As much as she loved the thought of Jacob sitting next to her and waiting for her to wake up, she doubted her uncle had guessed correctly. “He’s just being a good guy, Bastion. I was hurt on his watch. He feels responsible, nothing more.”
His eyes clouded at the words. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Maybe there was something but not now. Not after that night. The things he saw. I can only imagine what he must think of me.”
Bastion, however, didn’t appear to be convinced. “What? You think he’s going to be upset that you saved his life? Or that you took another shape to do so? Do you really think so little of him?” Bastion shook his head before he continued. “I, for one, am eternally grateful for your ability. Those bullets would’ve hit their mark if you’d been in human form. The only thing that saved you was, several of your key organs had to move in order to make room for those wings of yours—including your heart. So they not only saved him, they saved you as well. I think that’ll be enough to ensure he loves your wings as much as I do.” He sniffled and looked away from her but not before she saw the gleam of tears in his eyes.
She wanted to believe Bastion. She wanted to say she trusted Jacob to do the right thing. So much so that she felt horrible when she realized that she couldn’t. Bastion hadn’t been there when Jacob freaked out about Mitch starting a tiny flame. Her shifting shapes wasn’t going to go unnoticed. And it hadn’t been a small shift either. Nope. When she destroyed relationships, she didn’t do it by half measures. To humans, to him, she’d always be a freak—or worse, a monster.
She gazed at Jacob for a moment longer, but, the pain too great, she finally returned her attention to Bastion. “I don’t know. It’s a lot for someone to accept. But that’s okay. I’ve accepted who and what I am and that’s enough. Actually it’s probably for the best for it to end like this. The races are too different and the differences too great to overcome.”
“He knows what you are, child. And he knows the differences. Yet he chose to sleep in that god-awful chair for three nights just to be by your side when you woke.”
“He’s seen what I can become, but he doesn’t know what he’d have to sacrifice to be with me.” Her eyes slid away from Bastion’s as she said the words. “I look like a human, but that doesn’t make me one. And he doesn’t even have the luxury of the lie. Our people would never accept him. Then there’s the issue of children.” He’d be a great father someday, but not to her children. The knowledge tore at her soul. “Trapped between worlds is no way to live a life.”
“Maybe, but don’t you think that’s his decision to make? Be honest in your dialogue. But then let him decide, Isabella.” He backed away from her bed abruptly. “I have other patients to see, but I’ll be back soon.”
After the door shut behind him, she turned to Jacob’s still-reclined form. She noticed for the first time that his breathing was shallower than it should be. “You aren’t asleep, are you?”
“No. How’d you know?” He opened one eye a sliver but otherwise didn’t move.
“Your breathing, it’s deeper when you’re asleep.”
“I see.”
“So I guess I have a lot to explain.”
“You could, but later. We’ve got plenty of time.” He stood and made his way to her bed. Of course, he brought his intoxicating scent with him. “You know, I never believed in any of this. Not in God, angels or religion.”
She shook her head at the misconception. “We aren’t religious entities sent to Earth to protect humankind, Jacob. We don’t work like that.”
His shoulders shook softly with silent laughter as he looked down at her. “Like hell you aren’t. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I know a lot was happening, but I saw the wings, Izzy.”
“I’m not an angel. I’m a child of God, not his messenger. Saving you was a choice I made. It wasn’t an order I was following.”
“Maybe. But I don’t see why you’re making the distinction.”
“Because some of us are good but some are apathetic and others are evil. You need to know that it’s our choices that make the difference, not our births.”
“I don’t care what you are.” He ran his fingers over her forehead and the touch made her heart race. “Angel or not, you’re alive. That’s all that matters to me.”
She studied him carefully and found his calm more than a little surprising. “You’re taking this really well. I didn’t expect you to stick around. Not after the way you reacted to our conversation about magic.”
“I told you, I needed time to think—and I’ve had nothing but time.”
“Still, you don’t know everything.”
“And I don’t need to. I know enough.”
“You say that now, but—”
“No!” His smile slipped away at the word and was replaced by heavy lines of stress and tension. “Don’t say it. Don’t try to tell me how I’m going to feel tomorrow or even ten years from now. You almost died, Izzy. I was covered in your blood. I…” He looked away and took a deep breath as the muscle in his jaw twitched.
“Jacob.” She knew where the conversation was going. She could tell by his tone that in his mind his choice had been made. And as much as she wished for it to be true, there was one thing he had to hear before committing to anything.
Her stomach cramped painfully as she thought about what she was going to say. He’d accepted so much. She didn’t see how he could accept any more. “Before you say anything else, there is one thing I need to tell you. Just one more thing you do need to know.” She took a deep breath before starting. “I am different. We are different.”
“I don’t care,” he interrupted.
She put a finger to his lips to silence him. “The blood doesn’t mix. It’s incompatible.”
“So no transfusions?” he teased.
“No, so no children.”
He looked out the window, his face dark as he stood deep in thought. Her stomach continued to twist painfully as she watched him, but she didn’t say anything. She’d told him the truth and now it was his decision.
After what felt like an eternity, he turned to face her again. “There are lots of couples who can’t have children, but they still love each other.” His voice was soft as he said the words. It was as if he were asking for a confirmation.
“They do.” She was still cautious, but for the first time she could feel hope beginning to creep through her.
He smiled broadly, his eye
s glowing with happiness. “I’ve actually heard it’s quite trendy to adopt right now.”
She could see his happiness and found herself relaxing in its glow. “Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?”
“Children or no children, I know you’re the one I want to be with. The one I love. What else is there?”
Her breath caught at the simple yet eloquent statement. “Nothing.” As she said the word, she felt the tingling warmth of happiness sweep away the years of loneliness. And, staring up at Jacob, her uncle’s words made sense. It wasn’t revenge her soul needed. It had never been what her soul needed.
“Then we’ll be fine, no matter what life throws at us.”
“Don’t say that, it’s courting trouble.”
“After what we’ve been through…”
“You still have to meet my sister.”
“Is she anything like your half brother?”
“No, not Nikki.” She shook her head. “She’s a bit overprotective though.”
“Overprotective I can deal with. Arrange it and I’ll be there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Whatever it takes, Izzy.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She was overwhelmed by emotion as he handed her what she’d needed to finally be free. “I love you, Agent Phinney.”
He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, placing it gently behind her ear. “Good, now I know you won’t hurt me when I tell you I preferred you as a redhead.”
She laughed as she shifted her hair back to red. “Red it is.”
About Chandra Ryan
Being from a rather nomadic family, Chandra Ryan loves to travel and meet people. But she’s found that sometimes, like when you’re stuck inside because of a good old-fashioned Southwestern heat wave, you have to make do. Fortunately for her and her loving family, who don’t like seeing her suffer from cabin fever, she’s found creating new people and places equally as fascinating. Also, you’re a lot less likely to spill your ice tea.
Chandra welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email addresses on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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Also by Chandra Ryan
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Ink in the Blood
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Ink in the Blood Copyright © 2013 Chandra Ryan
Edited by Beverly Horne
Cover design by Syneca
Cover photography by conrado
Electronic book publication August 2013
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