“Bought? So you own it?” I wasn’t an expert in Parisian real estate, but this place had to have cost a pretty penny.
“I got a good deal,” he insisted, pointing to a bar stool at the kitchen island. “Sit. Relax. I’ll open the wine.”
It was a special treat to be able to watch Evan prepare dinner. It was clear that he liked cooking and wasn’t just doing it to impress me. But I was impressed nevertheless. While he chopped and stirred and sautéed, I sipped on wine and munched on freshly made bread.
“Do you still visit New York often?” I asked, halfway through my second glass of wine.
We had spent most of the evening so far talking about me, but I wanted to know Evan better. Thus far, he hadn’t shown any bad habits or negative personality traits. But everyone had flaws, and I was determined to find his.
“I visit home every few months. Not as often as I’d like,” he admitted, adding the last pile of vegetables to the skillet. “We need to let the sauce simmer.”
“If you say so.” I smiled as he took a seat across from me and reached for the wine.
He topped of my glass first and then poured one for himself. “Make sure you finish that entire glass.”
“I’ve already had two glasses,” I protested.
“I know. I’m hoping you’ll have enough that you won’t notice if I ruin the meal.” He stared hard at me over the top of his wine glass.
“I have complete confidence in you.” I sniffed the air purposefully. “It smells delicious.”
He shrugged away my compliment. “It’s just a basic meal. Nothing fancy. I have other skills that are more impressive.”
“Can I use your bathroom?” I asked, suddenly feeling very warm.
“Over there,” he said, pointing to the far end of the space.
I stood up slowly, adjusting to my slightly intoxicated state. “I’ll be right back.”
As I walked away, I could feel Evan’s eyes following me. It took all of my concentration not to stumble or shuffle my feet awkwardly.
The bathroom was just as nice as the rest of Evan’s place. Lots of shiny, clean tile and porcelain. Even his hand soap felt luxurious. As I was drying my hands on a neatly folded towel, I couldn’t help but feel like everything was just a little too perfect. Intentionally, left one of the towels crooked.
When I stepped back into the main room, I could see that Evan was busy cooking again. Rather than immediately return to the kitchen, I decided to take a quick lap of the floor. In the living area, I found a magazine on his coffee table that made me pause. Jake Welllington’s face stared back at me from atop his ridiculously sculpted body. It was a sports magazine, so it’s presence in Evan’s home was actually quite logical, but I still found it odd.
Jake hadn’t bothered calling me even though he had demanded my number at the gallery. At first, I had been annoyed. We had hit it off, or so I thought. But maybe I had read too much into our brief time together. And then when Evan had called to set up our date, I’d forced myself to stop thinking about Jake all-together. If he didn’t want me, someone else did.
But part of me still wished that he would call.
I left the living area and headed over to Evan’s work area. The black and white photographs around the room had to be the new pieces he had been working on all week. Despite the scantily clothed models, I had to admit that they were quiet beautiful.
“What do you think?”
Evan was standing behind me, looking nervous. It hadn’t occurred to me that he might be sensitive when it came to his art. He was normally so confident.
“You are very talented,” I said, picking up a snapshot of a naked woman. “How do you find people to pose for you?”
“I have a lot of connections in the modeling business. Some models won’t do nude, but many of them will for the right price.” He took the photo from me, glanced at it with disinterest, and tossed it back on the table. “You’d be surprised how many people secretly enjoy posing for me.”
I realized that we were standing dangerously close together. I thought carefully before asking my next question. “How do you stay focused? I mean, with all the naked women, do you ever… get distracted?”
He laughed. “You mean, do I ever want to sleep with the models?”
Embarrassed, I nodded.
“No. This is work, Camryn. It’s no different than if I was taking pictures of sunsets and fruit bowls.”
“It’s a little different than that,” I protested softly.
“To me it isn’t.” He picked up a camera lens and turned it over in his hands. “When I look at people through one of these, it’s like I disappear. I’m just the medium capturing a moment, not a person that’s part of the moment.”
I thought about that for a few seconds. “That’s very philosophical.”
“What can I say, I’m a deep guy.” He held the lens in front of his eye and looked at me through it. “You would be a beautiful subject for one of my pieces.”
Gulp.
“No.” It was the only word I could manage.
“I don’t expect you to say yes now. But keep your mind open to it. I think you would actually quite enjoy posing for me.” His hand grazed over my arm, tickling my skin. “Vous êtes belle.”
You are beautiful.
“The food is going to burn,” I said, trying to sound firm. But Evan’s hand was still skimming over my skin and his eyes hadn’t left mine.
“Let it burn,” he said.
His mouth closed over mine, hard. It took me by surprise, but after only a momentary pause, I kissed him back. I would’ve been okay with skipping dinner and going straight to dessert, but Evan had more self-control than I did. He got us back to the kitchen just in time to save our dinner.
The food was the second best thing to pass over my lips that night. It was a shame that my stomach was so twisted in knots that I didn’t even get to enjoy the meal. We were coming to that time of the night when I needed to make a decision- stay or leave. It was a no win situation for me.
If I went home after dinner, I would seem like a prude. And if I left too soon after dinner, I might also seem like I wasn’t interested in Evan at all. But if I stayed, it might be presumptuous. If we hooked up, I would seem easy. Evan might lose respect for me, or even lose interest in me completely. Sometimes being a girl sucked.
Evan wouldn’t let me help clear the table. He handed me another glass of wine and sent me to the living area to put on some music. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out how to work his stereo and when I finally did, soft jazz filled the room.
“Well done,” Evan said as he entered the room. He went directly to the window and pulled open the curtains. “It’s really starting to rain out there.”
“I guess we’ll just have to stay in here then,” I said, glad that the decision had been made for me, at least for now.
I made myself comfortable on the leather sofa, kicking off my heels and tucking my feet underneath me. Evan settled next to me, his arm resting behind me. We spent the next hour talking quietly, telling stories about our pasts. Most of them were funny stories, or tales of adventure. I got the feeling that Evan didn’t like to talk about serious things and I was okay with that. At least I wouldn’t have to tell him about my own depressing baggage.
Evan had traveled all over the world in the last few years and I enjoyed listening to his stories, but after a while I started to zone out. I could only hear about fancy restaurants and exclusive clubs for so long before I wanted to fall asleep.
“I’m boring you,” he said, catching the glazed look in my eye.
“No,” I protested pathetically.
“I can take you home now if you’d like.”
I glanced toward the window just in time to catch a flash of lightening. “You don’t need to do that. I can take a cab. No need for you to go out in the rain.”
“Why don’t you stay here?” he suggested. “You can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“I don’t know,” I hesitated.
“I’ll be good,” he promised with a smile. “Scout’s honor.”
“Oh, well, in that case…” I returned his smile. “Okay.”
Evan insisted on giving me some of his clothes to wear, in addition to giving up his bed. I tried to insist on taking the couch, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He handed me a pair of boxers and t-shirt.
“Hopefully you’ll be able to get some sleep. The bed is pretty comfortable.”
A moment was about to happen between us. We would either say goodnight and go to our separate sleeping areas, or I would throw aside caution and give into my impulses.
If I’d had one less glass of wine, my choice would’ve probably been different.
I tossed the clothes onto the bed. “The bed looks too big for just one person.”
“I’m sure you’ll make due,” he replied, but he made no attempt to walk away.
When I reached for him, he responded without hesitation. His arms circled my waist and pulled me hard against his body. My brain tried to tell my body that it was moving too fast, that I barely knew this man. But my body didn’t care. My body wanted to be held and caressed, and when Evan unzipped my dress, I quickly hurried out of it.
We tumbled onto the bed recklessly, nearly missing it completely. At some point, my brain reared up again and told me that I was making a big mistake, but then I turned it off completely, letting my body take complete control.
OCTOBER
October 15
Scottie, I’m a huge idiot. Like, negative IQ idiot. I’ve done some really stupid things in my life, but these last few weeks have been astoundingly terrible. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to use my brain. I’m not even sure I brought it to Paris with me.
I suck when it comes to relationships and guys. You and girls always tease me about it. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised anymore when these things end badly. But I really thought it would be different this time. I really thought that I was different this time.
You once told me that I do these things because of my messed up childhood. My dad dying in front of me at such a young age, my mom basically abandoning me and my sister as we were growing up. I guess that could have something to do with my ridiculous attempts at forming connections. But at some point I have to stop blaming other people, right?
I guess if you’re going to answer that, you need to hear the full story. Get comfortable. Grab some coffee, a warm blanket, and a plush chair. Don’t quit reading until the end.
It all started the night I went out with Evan Carter…
* * *
The morning after my night with Evan, I woke with a pounding headache and regret in my heart. What had seemed like a good idea the night before was clearly a poor decision by the light of day. This was further confirmed when I rolled my head to the side and found the bed next to me empty.
A faint shuffling on the other side of the bed caused me to roll in that direction. Evan stood in front of the window, wearing nothing but a smile and holding a camera.
“I was right,” he said, an interesting choice of greeting. “The camera loves you.”
“What?” My brain was still thick with sleep. “Were you taking pictures of me?”
He shrugged. “Just a few. You have this amazing sense of peace when you’re sleeping.”
“I’m naked, Evan,” I snapped, reaching for the sheet that was pooled around my feet. “This is not okay.”
“Don’t get so worked up. I’m not going to do anything with them.” He calmly set down the camera. “Unless you decide you want me to…”
“Not gonna happen.” I sat up, keeping the sheet around me and looking around the room for my clothes. I spotted my dress on the floor, but I was missing a key item- underwear.
Evan came over and sat next to me on the bed. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I can’t help myself. When I see something beautiful, I feel the need to capture it.”
“That sounds very creepy,” I said, relaxing just a bit. He really did seem to feel bad. “Just promise me you will delete them?”
“Of course.” He kissed me on the cheek. “I may be creepy, but I’m not a total jerk. Most of the time.”
When he smiled at me like that, I forgot why I was so mad in the first place. Especially when he was sitting next to me completely naked. “What does your day look like?”
“Busy, actually.” His hand stroked my cheek. “You can stay if you’d like, but I need to head out for a meeting soon.”
That was his polite way of asking me to leave. I wasn’t too proud to take a hint.
“I should go. I’ve got a busy day, too.” I needed to be at the studio in a couple of hours to help prep for a photo shoot. “Can you call me a cab?”
“Nah,” he stood and reached for his boxers. “I’ll drive you.”
Evan was in good spirits as he drove me to my apartment. The camera incident seemed forgotten and I had already made up my mind to forgive him. I had overreacted.
He kissed me goodbye and promised to call and I had no reason to suspect that he wouldn’t. I had been smitten by him, but he seemed downright enamored with me. That was further confirmed when a giant bouquet of roses arrived for me at work later that day.
“He’s a keeper,” Macy declared as she leaned over to smell them. “If you decide you don’t want him, let me know and I’ll take him.”
“He’s not property, Mace.” I laughed at the absurdity of me handing him over to her. She was right- he was a keeper.
“So we’ve determined that he’s talented, sweet, a good cook… what about his bedroom skills?”
She at least had the decency to lean close as she asked, perching on the edge of my desk. No one else seemed to care about our conversation when I looked around the room before answering.
“Good.” I thought for a second. “Really good.”
“You don’t sound very enthusiastic.” Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “Was he, you know, small?”
“No, no. Nothing like that.” I clarified. “Something just felt off. Probably just first-time jitters. Plus we had both had quite a bit of wine.”
She nodded knowingly. “Next time will be better. I assume that there will be a next time?”
“We’ll see if he calls.”
I was so certain that he would call that when my phone rang a few hours later, I expected it to be him. But the male voice on the other end did not belong to Evan.
“Finally!” he said.
“Hello?” I asked, thoroughly confused. Maybe it was a wrong number.
“It’s Jake. Jake Wellington.”
“Oh!”
I had completely forgotten about Jake. Over a week had passed since the party and he hadn’t called even once. I had assumed that he had forgotten about me the minute he left the gallery.
“Sorry for the delay. I lost my phone the night of the party.” He sighed dramatically. “It just figures that I finally convince a pretty girl to give me her number and then I lose it shortly thereafter. Do you forgive me?”
“Sure.” I was having a hard time keeping up.
He let out another sigh, this one relieved. “Fantastic. But you haven’t even heard the best part yet. I actually ended up finding my phone in my car this morning. How embarrassing is that?”
“Very.” I leaned back in my chair, a smile on my face. I had forgotten how easy it had been to talk to Jake even though he was pretty much a stranger.
“Right. But it ended up working out because now I have your number again and we are chatting. This is shaping up to be one of my best days ever.”
“I’m super happy for you.” I chuckled softly. “I’m sure finding your phone was marginally more exciting than when you won Wimbledon last year.”
He grunted. “You have no idea. That trophy is very hard to carry around over your head. I almost threw out my back.”
“Talk about embarrassing.”
“So, anyway, the reason I called… What are you doing right no
w?”
“Um, I’m working.” I looked around again and still no one was paying attention to me. Macy was on her phone, deep in conversation.
Jake was undeterred. “Lunch break?”
“It’s 10:00 in the morning.”
“Fine. Coffee?”
I didn’t know if I should say yes. It seemed like something was developing between me and Evan and I wasn’t sure it was right to meet up with Jake. I might give him the wrong idea, or get his hopes up. But then again, Evan and I had only been on one date. Jake was just asking to have coffee. It seemed innocent enough and even more convincing was the fact that I actually wanted to see him.
“Okay.”
We met up twenty minutes later at a café around the corner. Jake looked good in his faded jeans, worn t-shirt, and battered baseball hat. He stuck out among the well-dressed Parisians, but his natural good looks put them all to shame.
“You came!” He sounded both surprised and pleased as he stood to greet me. It was a sweet, gentlemanly gesture that did not go unnoticed. “This day just continues to get better and better.”
“You have very low standards for what constitutes a good day.” I lowered myself into the seat he held out for me.
When he sat across from me, his body moved in a confident but casual manner. He was a man that was 100% comfortable in his own skin.
“I took the liberty of ordering you a drink,” he said, pointing to the coffee in front of me. “It’s the house special.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at him warmly. “I’m glad you called.”
“Really?” An eyebrow shot up. “I wasn’t sure you would be.”
“Why is that?”
He shrugged. “I heard a rumor that you might be seeing Evan Carter.”
“Oh.”
How had word gotten around so fast? Was it possible that people in Paris gossiped more than people in small towns?
“My hitting partner knows your friend Macy. She mentioned that one of her coworkers was going on a date with the photographer from the party,” he explained.
“We had dinner last night,” I said, hoping that my cheeks weren’t burning too brightly. “Just one date.”
French Kissing (Restless Hearts) Page 3
