Reade sat down and grabbed the rest of Renny’s toast and talked while he chewed. “Shit. Get in the shower boy, we got a huge interview with Toronto’s top radio station in about ten minutes.”
“Can’t you go without me,” Renny said, cocking his head my way. “I’m kind of busy.”
“That’s fine Renny,” I said. “I’ll go sightseeing. I’ve never been here before so that will be great.”
Renny came over and gave me an awkward hug before whispering in my ear “Or you could just stay here and relax until I get back. Then I’ll show you my favorite parts of Toronto.”
“Renny, God Damn it, stop romancing your woman and get a move on. You reek, bro.”
Renny ran into the bathroom and within seconds the shower was on. Reade had called me “your woman”. Was that what I was? Was I Renny’s ‘woman’. Feminist though I am, that sounded too good to be true.
“So how’s the baby?” I asked Reade.
He pulled out his phone and showed me new pictures that, frankly, looked just like the old pictures. It had only been a couple of weeks after all.
Still, I cooed and told him she had grown so much, etc. I don’t really like babies. They’re so immature.
“How long you here for, Rachel?” Subtle, Reade.
“Just the weekend.”
“Ah, too bad. The concert on Monday is going to be sick.”
“Ah... great.” Sick? Young-speak or just Reade-speak? Who knew? I needed to watch more MTV or something. Maybe while Renny was gone I’d take advantage of the free cable and catch up on my hipness lingo.
I thought Reade had more to say but Renny jumped out of the bathroom dripping wet, towel around his shoulders but nowhere else. I don’t think he had any idea what his naked body does to me, he’s just so comfortable wearing it.
He threw on the jeans lying by the door, no underwear, as usual, and grabbed a shirt from the closet.
“Let’s go,” he motioned to Reade who drank the last gulp of Renny’s coffee.
“See ya, Rachel, “Reade muttered as he speed through the door playfully punching Ren in the stomach as he passed him.
“Idiot.” He turned back to me mouthing the word, “Stay.”
“Yes, master,” I replied and then did my best I Dream of Jennie head bob. I don’t think he had any idea of what I was doing by the puzzled expression on his face. Not his generation. Ah well, that was bound to happen. I just hope it didn’t happen too much.
I lazed around for a couple of hours before I discovered the Jacuzzi bathtub. Why hadn’t Renny told me about this? Taking a bath took up another hour and then I fell asleep.
When I woke the sun was definitely setting. Where was Renny? Had he come back and seen me sleeping and left again? Shit! It was his fault I was so tired. I just hoped he hadn’t thought that the old lady needed her sleep after an arduous work-out.
I looked at my phone and saw a text from Renny. Have to go to the venue for sound check. Sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Promise.
Well, that was better than what my twisted insecurity had concocted. I really have to start being better to myself. Is there anyone who would talk to me like I did? Except Marlene, of course. I picked up the phone and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and a coke plus a gigantic piece of chocolate cake. I’d rather have Renny but cake is a great consolation.
As I sat down to eat someone knocked on the door. I knew it wasn’t Ren so the room service guy must have forgotten something. I opened the door and was surprised to see Reade standing there.
“Hey,” he started.
“Hey. Where’s Renny?”
“He got caught at the venue. Some trouble with the piano so he’s waiting for the tuner to show. He’s totally OCD about the piano. Can I come in?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Thank goodness I had put on some clothes after my bath.
Reade came in and sat at the table. “Wow that smells good.”
“Here,” I said, sitting and then handing him half the sandwich. “Help yourself.”
He did, wolfing it down in a split second. “I can order another one for you,” I told him. Why not, it was all on their tab.
“No worries, that’ll hold me,” he answered as he tucked into the fries.
We ate in silence for a few moments before curiosity got the better of me. “Did Renny tell you to keep me company? I assure you I am fine by myself. I’m pretty simple, a 5-star hotel, Jacuzzi tub, room service and cable TV is all I really require.”
“He wanted me to check in, yeah, but I wanted to talk to you. Alone. Just me and you.”
“Okay.” This didn’t bode well.
“I really like you Rachel. We all do.”
“That’s good. I like you too.” Maybe I wouldn’t after he told me what was on his mind.
“Good, that’s good, it’s just that I’m a bit worried about Ren. I can read him pretty well, twin thing and all.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sure he’s told you about Jasmine and how that all ended.”
“No, not really. It hasn’t come up.” Other things had but not that.
“It was a pretty bad scene. Ren took it really hard.”
“And you’re worried I’m a rebound.”
“Kind of. I mean… you’re great, like I said, but ...”
“I’m not exactly what you had in mind for Renny’s new girlfriend.”
“It’s not you.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I mean, it’s not your personality. I can see why Ren’s infatuated. You’re not like any of the women who hang around us all the time. You’re more like … “
“Jasmine?”
“Yeah, she was smart and had depth. Like you.”
“Except she was closer to his age, is that it?”
“Yeah. It is a little weird don’t you think? I mean, you’re what, 60?”
“58.”
“So you see what I mean.”
“No, not really. If I were a man and Renny the woman, would my age matter?”
“Not as much, sure. But see, it’s different ‘cause, you see, Renny’s always wanted a family. That was one of the reasons he and Jas busted up.”
“You’re afraid if Renny falls in love with me he won’t find anyone the proper age and he’ll never have children. And then he’ll regret it.”
“See, you’re the best. I told Garrett you’d understand.”
“So you and Garrett discussed this?”
“We both want to see Ren happy and he really likes you, I can tell. You guys have a great connection. Ren’s always been attracted to the brainy girls but, really, where can it go.”
“Reade. It’s been two weeks. Not all women are planning their wedding after a first date.” Which, we had technically never had in any case. “We’re just getting to know each other.”
“I told Garrett it was just for fun but he seemed to think it was more serious. I’d hate to see either of you hurt.”
“So you took it upon yourself to remind me of the huge problem standing between us and happily ever after.”
“Yeah. Kinda.”
“Thanks so much. You have made this whole awkward situation so much easier. Thanks for coming and eating my lunch and letting me know where you and Garrett weigh in on my relationship with your brother.”
I stood and walked to the door making it clear that it was time for him to go. He grabbed one last fry and followed me. He turned at the door. “We really think you’re great Rachel. We do.”
“That makes me feel so much better, I assure you. These old aching bones need a pick-me-up now and then.”
“Now, you’re upset. I’m sorry. Just … make Renny tell you about his divorce. I think you’ll understand our concerns a bit …”
“Goodbye Reade,” I said as I slammed the door in his face.
I didn’t know if I was angry, humiliated or scared. Probably a mish-mash of all three. I paced the room trying to process everything Reade had said. What did Renny’s divorce, which
was over 2 years ago, have to do with our relationship? I had not gotten to the point of thinking about any kind of future with Renny. Much. I was reveling in the moment. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to think about a future with him because deep down I knew there was no future with him. This was all fun and games until he found Ms. Right and then it would be good-bye Rachel, hello new family.
Of course. That made sense. Nothing about our attraction was about making sense. There was almost a chemical charge when we were both in a room and I had never felt that before, not in all my love affairs and marriages. Not in one-night stands or live in loves. This was a once in a lifetime bond. But was that true for Renny too? Maybe I was just a lonely, pathetic woman way past her prime trying to cling to some vestige of youth. Maybe this was my last fling.
My head hurt, so I sat back down to my lunch, what was left of it. When in doubt, eat cake.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I couldn’t decide whether to tell Renny about my conversation with Reade. In the end the decision was taken out of my hands since Renny swept back into our room, dove into the shower and told me to dress for a night on the town without missing a beat. Luckily dressing for a night on the town with Renny meant my best jeans and sweater. I hadn’t thought to bring a dress. After all he had said to bring nothing but men always say that, so I was glad I hadn’t listened to him.
We first took a cab to a Café Orleans in the center of town. It was a bit ritzy and I felt horribly underdressed. Renny seemed to know everyone there and we were given a great table with great service. The socialist in me thought it wasn’t fair that we got better service just because Ren is a celebrity. The hungry woman in me thought it was a great system. But I was wrong about why we had gotten such quick seating. It turned out Renny had gone to high school with the chef, Jerome, who came out and greeted us. He grabbed our menus from us and told us we didn’t need them because he had already created Ren’s favorite meal for us.
He didn’t seem at all surprised to meet me. Maybe it was the dim lighting, it seemed to make everyone look like they were in a glamour shot. Maybe the age difference wouldn’t bother me so much if we stayed in dimly lit areas. Now that’s a life to look forward to, living like some vampire who has to avoid sunlight. This whole relationship was feeling more and more ludicrous by the minute. I had tried to dismiss Reade's visit from my mind but I hadn’t succeeded. Surely he had just said what everyone who saw us together thought, “what is he doing with her?”
Turns out Renny has good taste in meals and because the rack of lamb was absolutely delicious, the wine superb, I didn’t even mind the pile of fried crawfish in front of me. We hadn’t gone out very much in this stage in our relationship (is going to the hardware store considered a date?) I didn’t realize what great fun Renny is around other people. I am naturally reticent around new people, a habit any good journalist acquires, but Renny and his friend (who came and sat with us and dug into our huge meal, enjoying his own food immensely) were so entertaining I found myself laughing and having a blast! I forgot about my age, my worries and nosy Reade and Garrett. What right did they have weighing in on our relationship? If Reade wanted truth-telling I should tell him that I think his baby looks like a turnip. How you like the truth now, Mr. Reade? Not so fun being on the other side of it, huh?
It wasn’t until we were leaving the restaurant, stuffed to the gills that my bubble of confidence burst. As we were standing outside waiting for a cab several young women drove up, gave the valet their keys and started in the door. One of them let out a small squeal before coming our way.
“You’re one of the Taylor Brothers, right? I saw you last year.” She called to her friends to stop and come over. “Angela, Christine, this is one of the Taylor Brothers. Renny, right? I thought so. Can we get a selfie with you?”
She talked so fast neither of us had a chance to respond. She whipped out her phone as she and her two friends crowded around Ren and started snapping pictures in various poses. I was pushed back which was fine by me. I watched the four of them take the pictures, the girls all jostling for a closer position next to Renny, the twinkle in his eye. This is what it would always be like when we went out. As long as we stayed around people my age he could go unnoticed but the younger crowd, his crowd, they knew him. He was famous. He looked right with these women. Everything Reade had said rushed into my mind. Every doubt or fear I had about this relationship crowded my vision. I had to get away before I had a full-blown panic attack and totally embarrassed myself and Renny. I walked down the street, my back turned to the scene.
Ren caught up with me a few moments later. “Sorry about that,” he said, breathless and happy.
“No problem. Goes with the territory, I suppose.”
He tried to grab my hand but I deftly avoided it and kept walking.
“Why did you leave? Are you angry?”
“No, I just felt like walking a bit.”
“Great idea! Walk off the crawdads. I know a great place to view downtown. You game?”
“I guess.”
He managed to grab my hand and I didn’t pull away, partly because I wasn’t ready to talk about my feeling and partly because it felt wonderful, walking in the cool night air, with this warm and funny man, our hands entwined. Still, each time we encountered other walkers, which was often, I ducked my head and looked away. We didn’t talk as we walked which I preferred since I had no idea what to say. My head was telling me to break away as soon as possible, to protect myself from this certain car wreck. My heart was happier than it had been in decades, and it was screaming STAY!
We found the bench with the view after climbing a few stairs and sat down to a panoramic view of Toronto. It was glorious! I generally think that Portland is the most beautiful city in the world but I am prejudiced by how much I love it there. Toronto, at least at night, was giving it a run for the title.
We sat quietly and I was finally calming down when Renny put his arm around me and drew me in. I stiffened under his caress and he broke the tension.
“What the hell is going on with you tonight?”
“What do you mean? I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re distant and weird. What did I do now? Was it the girls?”
“No,” I snapped too quickly. “You didn’t do anything.” I shifted in my seat, inching away just the slightest.
“But you admit you’re distant and weird?”
“I… just had a lot of time to think today.”
“I knew you were mad at me. I am sorry. I had no idea the piano issue would come up today. We usually don’t sound check until the day of the event. I’m glad we did today because the piano was in bad shape. It’s not what I wanted to do today. I didn’t invite you here to ignore you all day. I should have said no.” He tried to put his arm around me again but I pushed it away.
“It’s fine. I enjoyed the room and the down time. It really isn’t that.”
“It’s something. You won’t even let me touch you.”
I took a moment to ask myself if I was really ready to have this conversation. Did I want to remind Renny why he should send me back to Portland on the next plane? My heart told me to shut the fuck up and enjoy whatever time Ren gave me but my heart hasn’t been in charge of me for a long time.
He is a patient man, but he finally got up, walked a couple of paces and then loomed over me. “What? Tell me. Please, Rachel. You’re making me very nervous.”
“I guess I just wonder, I just don’t understand… what the hell you’re doing with me?”
“What?”
“Aside from the obvious, I’m not where you are in your life. I have nothing to offer you.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“I wasn’t, no.”
He sat back beside me before speaking. His face was as earnest as it had been when he had sung that beautiful song he’d written for me. Was that just two weeks ago?
“You have nothing to offer me? You are, without exception, the most intellig
ent, compassionate and funniest woman I’ve ever met. You don’t know the women I meet Rach. You saw a sampling earlier today. They squeal or flirt or cake on the flattery. They aren’t real and I’m not a real person to them. I’m someone on the cover of a magazine, a pretty face, a dollar sign. They not only bore me but I find them all devoid of dimension, of opinion, of Rachelness.”
“Rachelness is not a thing.” I couldn’t help but smile. No one had said anything like this to me in years. I was smart and funny. I did care about the world and the mess we’ve made of it. I desperately wanted it to be enough to overcome all the obstacles.
“What is this really about, Rachel? The age difference? If it were reversed and I was 20 years older than you, we wouldn’t be having this discussion, would we?”
“That’s what I told Reade.” Oops. I hadn’t meant to blurt that out.
“Reade, huh? I’m going to kill that asshole.” His hands made fists and he looked slightly lethal. I had never seen Renny angry before. I was glad I wasn’t Reade at that moment.
“No, don’t. He was trying to protect you.”
“From what? The most amazing woman I’ve ever met? The best sex I’ve ever had in my life?”
“He told me to ask about your divorce. He said I’d understand what was worrying them after you told me about it.”
“Them? Garrett was there too.”
“No, no. Oh, I am in so much trouble.”
“You are in no trouble but my brothers ... let’s just say we need to have a few words.” Now he was pacing in front of me, seeing red, as in blood dripping from his brother’s faces. I had to make him see that they were thinking of his welfare.
“No, Renny! He told me the truth. That the reason the age gap doesn’t work is because … well… you can’t really have a future with me. I told him that his concern was premature, that we hardly knew each other. That we were just having fun.”
“Is that how you feel? That this is all just some sexual folly?”
“No! Yes. I don’t know.” He sat back down and took my hands turning me towards him, anger subdued for new.
“And what the hell does that mean –I can’t have a future with you? Why not, if that’s what we both want?”
Her Younger Man (A Country Music Romance): a Renny and Rachel Romance Page 7
