by Kamryn Hart
My breaths came in shallow and fast. I was a complete mess. This was everything I feared. Big change. Uncertainties. And it was all happening right now.
Sorissa took my face in her hands and urged me to look at her. I did, barely able to maintain eye contact. “Everything is going to be okay,” she told me, unblinking, somehow soothing. “Do you trust me?”
I closed my eyes to consider the question. I must have. I risked my life to save her. It was my duty, but I wanted to do it. Did that count? I didn’t know what I wanted with her, and yet I kept kissing her, accepting her kisses. Even though she was a werea. I liked kissing her. She was always in my mind, somewhere behind the mess of anxious thoughts.
“I trust you,” I said, opening my eyes. “But I don’t trust everything else, everything that could go wrong.”
“You trust Phantom Fangs.”
I looked at the two werewolves and tethered staring back at me from the roader. I looked at Caspian, meeting his dark-eyed gaze, and I thought about all of the strange years we had spent together. I had known him since I was seven years old and he was five. I trusted that trouble-making werewolf. I trusted him to tether me, to keep my family safe, to keep me safe. I never considered what I’d do if he died on me—not until the last full moon when there was nothing but red.
Red. Red. Red. So much red. I never wanted to see him in red again.
“Maybe,” I said at last.
“You know them better than you know me,” Sorissa reasoned.
“I do trust them—I even reluctantly trust Rodrick. But you’re different, Sorissa. You’re just different. No one is like you. You’re the only one who could convince me to go to Howling Sky for a fucking month.”
She grinned.
“Why do you have so much power over me?” I asked. I closed my eyes and took her forearm in my hand, savoring her touch. She was warm and cool at the same time. She slipped out of my grasp, placing her hands in mine instead. When I opened my eyes again, I focused on her unruly hair. “You or I should really braid that again before we set out.”
“You can do it for me in the roader.” She winked. “You’re probably better at it.”
“Fine.” I smiled. “I’ll do that.”
All at once, I wasn’t standing against the lair anymore. Sorissa had somehow coaxed me away with her touch, her words, and reassurance. She led me to the roader, crawled into the middle seat next to Rodrick, and I followed after.
“To the Tech Off Zone,” Caspian announced.
I worked on braiding Sorissa’s hair as Todd drove. It kept the tics away. I didn’t dare look out the window. I concentrated solely on Sorissa’s hair, weaving a couple tight braids that hugged her scalp. I hated that she was wearing a white ribbon around her neck today. She said it matched the frilly yellow shirt she picked to wear—which did look nice on her. But it was irritating me. I wanted to brush my fingers along the back of her neck. Her skin. It was like something we drawing me to her neck. Knock it off, Aerre.
Caspian instructed Todd on how to reach my old home inside of the Tech Off Zone. It felt like an eternity to get there, though in reality, it took ten minutes. Once we were in front of the home I insisted on watching nightly, I had finished Sorissa’s hair. I stared out the window and froze. It was surreal when Trace burst out the front door, running right for the roader like she had been waiting for me to arrive.
“Aerre!” she exclaimed.
I rushed out of the roader, no longer thinking. Then her arms were around me, squeezing me with everything she had. I let out a pent-up breath and hugged her back. It had been way too long. It made me think of the life I left behind, when I was a boy and Trace was always there to fix my problems.
“I’m so happy to see you. It’s been way too long,” she said with tears in her blue eyes. “Be careful on your trip, Aerre. Take care of the princess and Phantom Fangs.”
“Everyone already knows we’re leaving?” I asked.
“The princess told me. And the rumor that something big is going to happen has been spreading since the Phantom Prince brought up the Alpha Challenge. Then the guards were talking about Howling Sky. So yes, I think it’s safe to say everyone knows.”
I squeezed her once and then pushed her away. “You shouldn’t be seen with me like this. Not in front of all these people.” My skin crawled because of the people now stopped in the streets. We had already attracted an audience. It had barely been a few minutes!
“You shouldn’t have been so flashy by coming here in that roader then.” Trace smiled.
She was right, but I also knew we didn’t have a lot of time, and I wondered if it mattered anymore. Trace saw my rising panic and took my hand. “I believe in you. You’re going to help change things for the better. You already have. You’ve protected us just like you said you would. Everything is going to be okay here while you’re gone. Mom and I can take care of ourselves, too. You don’t have to worry about us forever.”
Tears fell from her eyes, and I wiped them away. “I’ll always worry about you,” I said.
Mom was in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb with watery eyes and a smile on her face. I walked up to her and opened my arms. So, what if we had an audience? If this was the end, I wanted to hug my family one last time. She wrapped her arms around me, and I held her in return.
“Be careful, my son,” she said.
Trace joined us, hugging me from behind. I turned to her, kept my voice low, and said, “If you need help with anything, go to Koren.”
Trace’s eyes widened, and her arms went slack.
“I approve,” I said. “He seems to really love you.” I scratched the back of my head, surprised at myself for saying those words.
Trace beamed at me, but her lips quivered at the same time. “Thank you.”
“It doesn’t sound like I could stop you both if I wanted to anyway,” I reasoned.
“That’s true.” She laughed and shook her head. “We’ll see each other again on the next full moon, little brother. Hopefully… No. One day soon, we’ll be together again. You, me, Mom, and Koren. You’ll like him, Aerre. I know it.”
I nodded because there was nothing left to say. Then I reluctantly made my way back to the roader. Sorissa was half out of it. I was surprised she didn’t crash the whole reunion thing because it looked like she wanted to. I wondered if Caspian told her to stay put so I could have this moment alone.
I was about to climb back in, to sit beside her again, when clapping broke out throughout the streets and from within the neighboring houses. More people were gathering, all of them looking at Phantom Fangs. Werewolf guards were there too, but they stood statue straight, holding their positions. I had this sick feeling in my stomach as I waited for them to move, to silence the clapping. But they didn’t do anything, even the ones with scowls and sharp eyes.
The king really was playing it safe and being extra careful after Caspian’s very public challenge stirred things up. After Caspian’s troublesome betrayal. Maybe these people thought we were going to change things just like Trace did. Maybe they remembered Sorissa standing up for a man in the square and Caspian backing her up. Maybe they thought we were true allies even though I did nothing, even though I hadn’t backed Sorissa up. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to end badly.
Unfortunately, there was no turning back now.
When I was inside of the roader, Todd was forced to take the roader at a snail’s pace as we crawled through the crowds of humans clearing the streets for us, clapping all the while.
Sorissa had changed everything. This was all because of Sorissa. She could even change the mood of an entire kingdom. She was innocent in a world where innocence didn’t exist, and she brought hope.
She solemnly watched the people outside. That stubborn determination of hers was scrawled across her face in the almost imperceptible crease in her brow. I could feel it, too. She captured hearts, even the hearts of those who hardly knew her.
That meant I
was either doomed or saved because she had her sights set on Phantom Fangs.
CHAPTER 19
RODRICK
LONG DRIVES IN THE roader were not my favorite thing. I was fine. I never got those weird tics like Aerre, and usually, if I was that bored, I would take a nap. But I had just woken up from a nap a half our ago. I wasn’t tired, and we were still on the road. At least we were close to the mountains. We’d be climbing them soon. That meant we were making good time.
It would have been nice if I had stayed asleep for this portion of the drive, though. I knew the area we were driving in. Mountains in the west, grassy fields and a mess of trees to the east. I knew it quite well. I hadn’t thought I’d see it in spring again. I thought my last memory of it would be covered in snow.
I had my window seat, but I looked across Sorissa and Aerre to see out the right side of the roader. There, in the east, past the grass fields and through the trees was where Freedom was located. I had trained in those woods for many years. This field, too. It was almost nostalgic.
Of course, I was the only one who knew that. Caspian had quizzed me on the information he wanted about the rebels. He asked me the likelihood of them attacking. He asked me everything but the most crucial piece of information. He didn’t ask me where they were located. Maybe he figured they had moved since I was captured. That was possible, but Merik Rexx knew me well enough to know that I wouldn’t have ever given up their location. After what happened with Jobe, maybe that was no longer true.
Who was I kidding? I knew why Caspian hadn’t asked where Freedom was located because I was good at reading others. He didn’t ask because he was being considerate of me and my feelings. Cor Almighty, I wanted to strangle the Phantom Prince sometimes.
Then again, he knew me, too. I had no intention of telling Phantom Fangs, Sorissa included, that the rebels’ stronghold was a few miles to our right. I didn’t see the point. They weren’t an imminent threat like Paws Peak and the vampires.
But they could be. In time.
I thought I’d have everything set straight again after a good night’s sleep, but no. I was as big of a mess as fucking Aerre now. Wonderful.
Sorissa gasped, covering her hands with her mouth. Then she started pointing frantically at my window like a maniac. I sunk back into my seat as far as I could so she wouldn’t stick me in the eye.
“Look!” she exclaimed. “It’s an entire herd of hardskulls!”
Indeed, it was. There was a big herd of the beasts in the field outside my window. They were a powerful strain of cattle with long fur and—who would have ever guessed—thick-ass skulls. They were calm enough until you messed with them; the bull and herd leader would come at you. Those bulls were relentless, too. They’d chase a predator for miles, their entire herd following them the whole way, just to make sure the poor bastard was eliminated. At that point, it turned into a fucking stampede—not that they needed the numbers. Bulls reached up to twelve feet in height and had a deadly, razor-sharp horn, like the blade of a sword, right in the middle of their foreheads. Bulls also had skulls so damn hard they could shatter boulders by ramming into one. Their skull grew outside of their skin, like a weird exoskeleton.
At least there was only ever one full-grown bull in a herd. The cows weren’t so bad on their own. They didn’t have the boulder-shattering skull or the horn. I had done training that included hardskulls when I was living in Freedom. I had a close call and nearly died once. It took months to heal my shattered leg. It was a real fucking miracle I didn’t have a limp or chronic pain. It would have been nice to have had moonlight back then.
“I’ve read about these in the fairytales Babaga gave me,” Sorissa said. “They’re real! And so big. I wonder how it would feel to stand next to one.
“In the werewolf fairytales, nomadic packs talked about hardskulls a lot. They offered plenty of milk and meat if the werewolves managed to take down the bull, but it never lasted. The herd couldn’t sustain itself if the bull died. Werewolves could manage the herd like the bull had, but there wouldn’t be any more calves. That didn’t matter for a few years, though. When it came to that point, they’d release the herd when a new bull came around to replenish the herd again. Taking down a hardskull bull was a real test of strength and bravery. Werewolves who managed to take down a bull were heroes of the pack. The one to deliver the killing blow made a new special sword out of the bull’s horn—usually the current alpha of the pack or a contender.”
Her eyes twinkled, and she smiled wide. “The greatest werewolf hero of all was Garstraude, protector of the weak. Whenever a pack needed help, he’d show up. He was a lone wolf, but also the greatest alpha of all. I always wanted to be the alpha of my own pack one day, to be the first werea to reach alpha.”
“Those are some old tales,” Caspian remarked. “You do realize Garstraude probably wasn’t real, right? Fighting a hardskull bull is like asking to get killed.”
She frowned. “Werewolves don’t do it anymore then? Or maybe they never did?”
“They did years ago, but now there’s no reason to. There aren’t many left anyway.”
Sorissa put her hand on my thigh and leaned forward, attempting to get a better angle to see out my window. I glanced at that white ribbon around her neck. Not for the first time, I thought about how it was a bit of a strange accessory for her when she seemed to enjoy tomboy clothes more often than not. I dismissed the thought, and my attention drifted elsewhere.
“Rodrick, the hardskulls are over there,” she said, pointing again. “Why do you keep looking out Aerre’s window?”
“No reason,” I said.
She cocked her head and scowled. “What is it? I can fix it, Rodrick.”
I chuckled. “I appreciate the sentiment, little fighter, but you don’t control the world.”
“No, but I can protect my pack.”
“We’re your pack?” Aerre asked.
“What else would you be?” She frowned. “But maybe I can’t protect you all well enough. I let the vampires take me to save you, but what if they had turned around and killed you instead of keeping their word?” She growled. “If they had, they would have regretted it.” Her eyes blazed crimson. It was the same look she had when she was about to kill Jobe. No mercy. Terrifying. Powerful. Even otherworldly.
Such a strange little werea. Did she think of herself as a hardskull bull and us as her cows? I snorted out a laugh I failed to stifle. I didn’t much fancy being a cow.
“We need to discuss what we’re going to do about Caspian’s training,” I said, changing the subject. “We have time to kill before we get to Howling Sky anyway. I can help with combat, but I’m not confident that will be enough on its own. The Alpha Challenge is going to be Caspian and the king both hopped up on moonlight. Sorissa, do you know any special secrets about moonlight that nobody else does?”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “How would I know something like that?”
“Because you’re the Moonlight Child,” Aerre commented.
“What he said.”
She shrugged dismissively. “I don’t know. I use it recklessly and often run out before the next full moon. I’ve never needed to conserve it until recently.”
“All of that moonlight and it still doesn’t last until the next full moon? Do you know the meaning of restraint?” I shook my head and laughed. “No wonder you’re such a hotheaded fighter.”
“That’s why I need your training too, Rodrick.”
“You’re welcome to join the Pain Brigade, Princess, if you think you can handle it.”
She gave me a defiant glare and folded her arms. “I can handle it.”
“I wonder about our connection, that connection Sorissa made when she kissed each one of us on the full moon,” Todd said, eyes glued to the overgrown dirt road we were following. “What if we could utilize it somehow? You all felt it too, right? Like you were an extension of Sorissa, of each other. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I mean, I don’t know how it works, but
we were physically and mentally linked somehow. Like now. Can you feel Sorissa like I can?”
“Feel her how?” I asked.
“Hear her thoughts, feel her heart beat inside of your chest,” Todd murmured.
“No,” I replied.
“You can feel that?” Caspian asked incredulously.
“I don’t,” Aerre said.
Todd glanced back at Sorissa through the rearview mirror. She held his gaze there. Neither of them blinked for a seriously weighted few seconds. There was something passing between them that the rest of us weren’t privy to.
Before I knew it, there was a growl stuck in my throat for no fucking reason. I quickly halted the noise and got back on topic. “Sounds like we’re figuring out the rest when we get to Howling sky. If anyone else has any pearls of wisdom to pass on to Caspian, feel free to do that. Phantom Prince, get ready for a world of hurt.”
“Hooray,” Caspian deadpanned.
“We’re going to make sure you win.”
Aerre mocked, “Figure it out, Caspian. Challenging the king was your brilliant idea.”
“No pressure or anything,” Caspian said.
“A few more hours until we reach Howling Sky,” Todd announced.
We would arrive in the evening if all went well, and then we would get down to business. Caspian leaned against his door, his chin resting on his hand as he stared out his window. He seemed calm at the moment, but I knew better. He was petrified. It was a big thing for him to challenge the king he served, the father who was no father, the alpha who scared Caspian into his place. But I’d whip him into shape. We couldn’t lose after I left everything for this. For them. This was the path I chose, and I was sticking through it. If that made the rebels my enemies, then that was just the way it was. I had made my grave. It was time to lie in it.
CHAPTER 20
SORISSA
