I click to turn his phone on but I'm prompted for a password. The only message unblocked is the current one.
Damn.
Taking a deep breath to steady my pounding heart, I force away the negative thoughts. I don't know anything. I shouldn't have looked at the message in the first place. I have to trust that Chase will tell me if Denise is up to any funny business. Then again, I've only known Chase for less than a week and who knows how long she's known him. Can I really trust him at all? He's a poker player. He makes his money bluffing, which is really just another word for lying. He makes money by keeping his emotions in check and his thoughts to himself. Can you ever really know someone like that? I suddenly miss Evelyn. My best friend always had my back, and I feel shitty again for ignoring her all week.
"You ready?" Chase's voice startles me and I jump. "Shit, sorry. You okay?"
"Yeah," I nod and then work up a smile. "Just thinking about a friend back home." Technically true.
Chase nods, putting his hand on me so that he can rub empathetic circles on my back. It makes me feel instantly better. Harrison would have probably made some joke about me missing my friends but Chase can instantly tell that I just need a bit of reassurance and compassion. I must be misreading the whole thing with Denise. He'll tell me about it in his own time if it's anything.
We leave the photo shoot and hop into his waiting limo on our way to his house. He's sitting across from me on the bench seats as usual.
"Sorry about those girls." He shoots his half smile at me as he reaches forward to squeeze my knee. "Sometimes fans can get a little personal. They feel like they know you so well after seeing you on TV that they forget you don't know them at all."
I shrug. I'm over it. I'm more disturbed by the message from Denise than a couple of fan girls. I reach into my purse and pull out his wallet and phone, handing them back to him. I watch as he turns the phone on and flips through it briefly, presumably checking his messages.
"My bike is ready."
"What?" I'm not sure what he's talking about.
He looks up at me. "My motorcycle. It's been in the shop all week. You ever been on one?"
I shake my head.
"Really? Never? Well then that's what we'll do tomorrow."
"I don't know," I protest. "Motorcycles seem pretty dangerous."
"Oh, Lila. You gotta live a little, babe! There's nothing like riding really fast in the desert, the wind wiping against your body and the scenery going by you in a blur. It gets your heart pumping, the blood in your veins will feel alive."
"I thought that's what sex is for," I smile and wink.
Chase laughs. "I'm not going to argue with that. But if I can't keep you naked and sequestered in my room 24 hours a day, then there are other ways to feel exhilarated."
"I guess."
"You'll love it, I promise. You have to live a little, Lila. You don't always have to be so safe!"
"I'm not. I do!" I protest, but he has me pegged. I've always lived too safely, afraid to take chances. In fairness, I think it's probably easier to live a little closer to the edge when you're rich than when you're struggling to make rent each month. It's not like I have friends with motorcycles or the money to go diving with sharks in Australia or anything.
"We'll see," he says. "Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," I agree. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but at least if he's making plans with me for tomorrow then he isn't planning on ditching me for Denise. I'm feeling better about that situation already.
We arrive at the house and he lets us in after telling his driver to go for lunch but to bring us something on his way back. We'll have a later lunch so that we can get in the pool right away.
I haven't been out in his backyard yet, and it's gorgeous. I note how well manicured the lawn is, considering he's never here to take care of it.
"I have a service for that." Of course.
The fence around the property is high enough that he doesn't have to worry about any of his neighbors watching us, giving us the privacy that we lack whenever we go to the pool at the hotel. Or whenever we leave the house at all, really. I've never understood the complaint about celebrities being bothered by people until I started seeing Chase, and he isn't even known outside the poker or gambling world. I can't imagine what it would be like for a movie star.
I follow him to the side of the yard where there is a little small hut with a couple of doors used as a changing area. He goes into one side after motioning me to go into the other. Once inside I pull my bathing suit out of the bag I brought and strip off my clothes. As I'm about to put it on, a naughty thought creeps into my head. Instead, I drop it onto the floor and wait until I hear Chase exit the other room. I step out completely naked and watch as his jaw drops, and he lowers his shades to let his eyes roam over his body. He's wearing a shorts style swimsuit himself but lets out a low whistle as he sees me.
"I think you forgot something," he smiles.
"Well, you said I don't know how to live dangerously..."
Chase laughs. "This is your idea of living on the edge, then?"
I put my hands over my breasts and pretend to turn back to the changing room. "If you don't like it, I can go put my suit on."
"Definitely not!" He grabs my arm and pulls me to him. "I have no complaints about what you're... not wearing."
"You're over dressed for this party, though." I hook my fingers into the waistband of his trunks and yank them down to his feet.
"Hey," he exclaims as I straighten up and kiss him quickly on the lips.
"Shut up," I reply. I put my hands on his chest and push him backwards. The surprised look on his face as he hits the water is priceless.
His head breaks the surface and he glares at me in mock anger. "So that's how it's going to be, is it?"
I laugh and nod right before jumping in next to him. When I come up he kisses me on the lips and puts his arms around me.
"So you're not mad?" I ask right before kissing him again.
"Of course not." He kisses me back. "I like seeing your version of living dangerously. But tomorrow, you're going to see mine." I open my mouth to ask for details but he catches my lips and tongue with his own, and all sense of speech deserts me. Whatever retaliation he comes up with tomorrow will surely be worth this.
17
"Just give me a few minutes to settle up and we'll get out of here," Chase says, squeezing my hand and then leaving me in the motorcycle showroom as he follows the owner into the office to pay for his bike repairs. He still hasn't told me where he's taking me later, and I have to admit to feeling a bit nervous. Yesterday's skinny dipping session really was one of the most risky things I've ever done, and I was actually relieved that he didn't try to have sex with me in the pool. I was embarrassed enough. But after our swim we barely made it into the kitchen before Chase took me right there on the floor. Clearly the idea of doing risky things was a turn on for him. Honestly, I was pretty hot as well. The only annoying part was how quickly we had to get going again.
Chase had another quick meeting back at the hotel with his agent, forcing us to eat our lunch in the car on the way back. He led a very active and busy life, and I wasn't quite used to it yet. Harry and I were more likely to sit around in our pajama pants and watch TV than to be constantly on the go. I don't miss doing that as much as we did, but I wouldn't mind if Chase would stop for at least one day and spend some time at his place just chilling.
As if summoned by my thoughts, my phone began to ring and the caller ID said it was Harry calling from Toronto. I hadn't heard from him in a few days, my anger dissipating enough that I felt I was ready to talk to him. Briefly.
"Hi Harry," I answered.
"Lila. Hi. Thanks for answering." There's a silence on the phone. I don't really know what to say. "So, uh, how ya doing?"
"I'm okay. Look, Harry..."
"I know, I know. I was a dick. I know. I guess I just... I wanted to apologize. Sometimes I just get carried away in the moment.
.."
"You hurt me, Harry. You offered me up as a prize in a poker game." I thought I was mostly over it, but being with Chase so soon after it happened likely just distracted me from the pain. The pain of feeling like I was worth so little to Harry, but also the pain of losing our relationship even though I knew it was over even before we got to Vegas.
"I know. I'm sorry. Can we get past this?"
I walk towards one of the bikes on the showroom, running my hand idly along the leather seat and up to the chrome handlebars as I talk. "Not in the way we were. We're done, you understand that don't you Harry? It's not just about the poker game. It wasn't working before that."
"I know." I hear a sadness in his voice, a resignedness to the way things are now that I didn't hear last time we spoke. "I'm just hoping me can still be friends."
"In time. We can talk about it more when I get back."
"Do you know when that will be? What are you doing out there anyway?" That second question isn't one I want to answer, so I focus on the first.
"I'm not sure. But when I'm back I'll give you a call, okay? We can talk about things then." By then maybe I'll be ready to talk about Chase. By then I might understand myself where this is going.
"Okay. I'm really sorry, Lila. I'll always care about you, you know that, right?"
"I do," I say. My anger toward him is gone, and so is the love I thought I once felt. But I don't wish him any harm. He'll always be a part of my past even if he isn't part of my future. "I feel the same way, Harry. But I gotta go now, okay? We'll talk soon."
I hang up, happier that I took the call than I thought I'd be. It was good to get a bit of closure with him. I feel like he gets that it's over now, and he accepts it.
"Ready to go?"
My head snaps around to see Chase standing in the door to the office. I'm not sure how much of that conversation he heard, if any. His face gives nothing away, as usual.
I'm hunched forward with my arms locked around Chase's stomach as the motorcycle thunders down a desert road. I have no idea how fast we're going, but I'm absolutely certain it's faster than the speed limit. It's also faster than I'm sure I've ever gone on land. I'm terrified, but at the same time exhilarated. My blood is pumping quickly, pushed through my veins by a pounding heart, and I would need a crowbar to loosen my grip. But at the same time, it's exciting. And the vibrations of the bike coming up from between my legs is achingly distracting, making my thoughts turn to Chase and whether or not our ride will end at a place where I can fuck him silly.
We continue racing through the desert, a cloud of sand forming behind us in our wake even though we're technically following a road. After a while we begin to pass a few signs that whip past me before I even have a chance to read them, but they lead us to a small little airport before Chase begins to finally slow. As he pulls us to a stop I'm finally able to focus on where we are.
I rip off my helmet. "Are you kidding me? Skydiving? You want to go skydiving?"
Chase pulls his helmet off as well, a huge grin plastered across his face. "You'll love it."
He wears that grin all through our training session, where our instructors go through all of the things to know about jumping. I'm terrified, but unwilling to give Chase the satisfaction of chickening out. There are six other people in our class, but Chase seems to be the only one barely paying attention to the instructors, spending more time looking at me and smiling. I ignore him as best I can, desperate to absorb every shred of information they provide so that I can stay alive. I'm not sure at all that I can do this, but it's a relief to hear that first time divers don't go alone, instead jumping attached to an instructor who is in charge of pulling the chute.
Even after hearing that I still focus on the lesson as if my life depends on it. I'm pretty sure it does.
"You're sexy when you're concentrating," Chase whispers to me, leaning close enough to my ear that I can feel his hot breath raise the hairs up along my neck.
"Shut up and pay attention," I whisper back, not removing my eyes from the front of the class. I'm surprisingly disappointed when he listens to me and pulls his body back away from mine, but it's for the best. I don't need any distractions right now.
When the instructors have finally bombarded us with as much information as they can, they lead us to the staging area where we get outfitted in jumpsuits and ridiculous looking goggles.
"How sexy do I look now?" I say, turning to Chase with the bug eyed plastic glasses on my face.
He's holding his own goggles, but he laughs and leans forward to kiss me hard on the lips. "It would be impossible for you to not look sexy."
I stick my tongue out at him, still mad that he's dragged me here. I consider pleading with him to just put me back on his bike and ride us home, but I want to prove to him I have a wild side. Even if it's new.
The instructors begin to pair off with students and I look around, waiting to see who was going to be attached to me in what could end up being the final moments of my life. No one approaches, so I turn to Chase who doesn't have anyone yet either. "Who are we jumping with?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you really think I'd let someone else experience the thrill of this with you? That I'd want anyone else's body attached to yours while you free fall at 120 miles an hour?"
Is Chase telling me that this has all been a practical joke and we aren't going to jump after all? I feel something in my stomach, but I'm not sure if it's relief or disappointment. Maybe both.
"So we aren't jumping?" I ask.
He laughs. "Oh we're jumping. Together. You and me," he reaches forward and twirls me around, pulling my body against his so that my fabric covered ass slaps against his hips. "Locked together in free fall."
18
"What?"
"You don't think this is my first jump, do you?"
My eyes widen as I spin back to face him. He looks serious, even though he's flashing his half grin at me.
"I've been coming here for years. I jump on my own all the time. I'm more than qualified to take you down. I cleared this with them yesterday."
"Are you kidding me?"
Chase spins me around again, and pulls me back against his body, putting his arms around me and kissing my neck before he brushes his lips against my ear. "This is how close we'll be on the way down. Do you really want someone else against you like this?" His voice is a whisper that makes my knees weak.
He knows the answer and doesn't wait to hear it. "You're going to love this."
He's still repeating that same phrase to me an hour later as we stand on the plane 14,000 feet in the air above the desert waiting for the doors to open. Chase is strapped against my back, but he's holding my sweaty palm in his own warm and calm hand and rubbing my arm with his other. "You'll do fine. Trust me. You're going to love it."
I can only nod at this point, unsure whether or not opening my mouth would be such a good idea. I'm not sure whether I fear screaming or throwing up more, but in either case, keeping my mouth shut seems wise.
One of the instructors yanks the doors open and the plane gets immediately louder. I watch as one attached couple approaches the door. The instructor sits with the student in front of them and then before I know it he pushes off and they disappear from view, hurtling toward the ground. My heart skips a beat and I feel Chase squeeze my hand tighter.
It's seeming more and more insane to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
Someone motions to us and Chase gives me a little push to get my legs moving towards the opening. The ground below seems impossibly far and I immediately regret looking down. I feel dizzy, but Chase is still holding my hand and keeping me steady as he negotiates us into a sitting position on the edge of the plane doorway. My eyes are shut now. I'm only happy he's behind me and can't see that.
Chase yells something but I can't hear him over the roar of the plane engine and the wind rushing by our ears.
"What?" I yell back.
Instead of an answer, I feel Chase push
away from the plane and my stomach jumps as I flail around, trying to find something to anchor onto. There's nothing there but emptiness, and I finally let out the scream that I had been holding back. I'm sure it's loud and embarrassing, but I barely hear it over the rush of wind in my ears. All of a sudden Chase's arms wrap around my body, holding me close and reminding me that he's right there behind me. The thought relaxes me appreciably and I'm grateful that he's the one back there. I'm still terrified and keeping my eyes screwed shut, but I no longer feel quite as alone and disoriented.
Chase's mouth is next to my ear, yelling at me to open my eyes. How did he know they were closed?
Taking a deep breath to try and calm myself, I do as he asks. The ground below looks the same as it did in the plane, instead of hurtling toward me menacingly as I had expected. In fact, I don't even feel like we're moving at all. It's beautiful, though. Chase was right, and I'm immediately glad he talked me into it.
A few seconds later his lips press against my ear again. "Hang on!"
Before I know what he's talking about, I see the chute fly out from behind us and open up above, right before I feel our bodies jerk hard. The wind in my ears immediately stops roaring as our fall turns into a float.
I take a moment to enjoy the sudden quiet and peacefulness. The wind is now pushing us along instead of roaring past us, and it gives me the feeling of floating. The sense of relief that I feel now that the chute has opened successfully is tremendous, although the adrenaline is still rushing through my veins.
LUST: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch Book 2) Page 57
