Not that he was one to judge. He’d picked the wrong person from the get-go. At least Grace could look back and take comfort in knowing that it had started for the right reasons. He wished he could do that, but looking back, all he could see was mistake after mistake.
The faint sound of water brought him out of his thoughts, and he slowed Maple to a walk. He’d been so lost in thought, he’d ridden all the way without even paying attention.
“Good girl, Maple. Thanks for watching out for me.”
She whinnied and bounced her head up and down.
“Yeah, I know. I need to stop being so distracted when we ride, huh?”
Maple bounced her head again. He dismounted, and she walked next to him. If he did decide trail rides and overnight camping was something he wanted to do, Maple would not be part of the lineup.
Stopping at the water’s edge, he squatted as Maple lowered her head and took a long drink. He stuck his hand in and let the cool water run over his fingers. Just like the last time, it was warm enough to be comfortable and cool enough to be refreshing.
He stood with his hands on his hips, letting his gaze roam over the place. Grace had loved it, and he’d loved seeing the sparkle in her eyes.
With a sigh, he left Maple by the water and walked a bit, letting his mind wander. He’d handled the whole situation wrong. If he’d slowed down, maybe he could have diffused it. She was upset, and he’d acted like a pig-headed jerk instead of finding out the root of the reason.
Why had he gotten so mad? He leaned his back against a tree and crossed his feet at the ankles as he stuck his hands in his pockets. What was really eating him? Rubbing his knuckles along his jaw, he uncrossed his feet and pushed off the tree. He was restless as all get out.
He walked a few steps and kicked at a rock.
Maple left the stream and moseyed over to him, pressing her nose into his stomach.
He rubbed his hands over her cheeks. “You think I’m in love with her, don’t ya?”
Maple nudged him and nickered.
“We had a fight today.”
She nudged him again.
“I may have inadvertently started it.”
With a stomp of her foot, she neighed.
“You are one bossy girl.”
It almost sounded like she laughed.
“I haven’t known her that long, baby girl, but she’s sure wiggled her way into my heart. She has a smile that’d put fear into a rain cloud. Her little nose when it wrinkles. Have you seen her nose? It’s the most perfect nose I’ve ever seen. And when she laughs, it’s with her gut. The best laugh you’ll ever hear. She’s so fiery, and I love it.”
Maple grunted and pushed him back a little.
“She doesn’t love me. She’s said from the beginning that she’s only here until the house is finished. Even confirmed that she was only my designer. I think that’s what upset me the most. I was teasing her, and then boom. Man, my heart was twisted in two. Guess that should have been my first clue, huh?”
Maple pushed him again, and he pressed his forehead against hers. She nickered and stomped her hooves.
“I think I’m going to take a little bit, get my thoughts in order, and go back to the house. Maybe by then, I’ll have figured out what it is I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to get hurt again, but it’s Grace. The thought of her leaving makes me ache all the way to my core.”
He went back to the tree he’d leaned on and sat on the ground. “I think I’m going to lay down and shut my eyes a while. You okay with that?”
Maple nibbled his hand as he reached up to pet her nose.
“See ya in thirty.” He lay back on the grass and pulled his hat down over his eyes, crossing his feet at the ankles. Between the cool breeze and the running water, he lasted all of three breaths before he was asleep.
His dream came fast and hard. He had his arms around Grace, her back tucked against his chest, and they were looking out over their ranch. Their kids were swinging and running everywhere. He’d never felt so light and happy in his life.
The dream was playing on and on, until he felt like a snow globe being shaken. He grabbed his hat and yanked it from his eyes. Maple was nudging him with her nose.
Once his vision cleared, he realized he’d slept longer than he’d anticipated. Orange, rusty-red, and blue painted the sky. “I’m up, girl. I’m up. Why’d you let me sleep so long anyway?”
She stomped her hoof as if to say, “I tried.”
If he didn’t get a move on, it’d be dark before he got to the house. He stood, and then it hit him. The horses were still out. Wrangling Gulliver while there was light was hard enough. In the dark, Jackson would have his work cut out for him. The horse trusted him, but he was still antsy sometimes.
Jackson grabbed the saddle horn and pulled himself onto Maple. “I hate to do it because I know you don’t like to run, but we need to hurry, okay?” He touched his heels to her side, clicked his teeth, and Maple shot forward.
Hopefully, there’d be a little light left by the time they reached the house.
Chapter 23
Grace stood on the porch with her hands on her hips, looking out over the horizon in the hopes that Jackson would return. It’d been hours since she’d caught sight of him through the window as he streaked off on a horse. She’d waited for him all afternoon so she could tell him what she planned to do. She didn’t want to blindside him, but all this lying had to end. He’d probably be relieved to not have to pretend anymore anyway.
When the sun hit the top of the trees and he still hadn’t come back, she worried. He was probably just fine, but he had a schedule when it came to the horses. Another few minutes, and he’d be late putting them to bed.
“Oh, what do I do?” That day in the barn with Gulliver sent a shiver down her spine. He would have killed her, but Jackson loved his horses. And she loved him.
A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She was going to need to take care of the horses. Her stomach gurgled a little more as she stepped off the porch.
When she got to the barn, she walked to the gate that led to the pasture. Three of the horses were already standing there, waiting to come in. It bothered her that they were locked out of the barn during the day, until Jackson told her about them having access to the barn and breaking into the feed room. After she mentioned it, he built them a place to get out of the rain.
Buck whinnied as she stopped in front of him. “You thought you’d been forgotten, huh?”
She looked past him into the open field where Gulliver stood, eyeing her. If she was quick, she could get the gate open, get Buck, Iris, and Baker in and settled, and then deal with the last two.
On a count of three, she yanked the gate open, and the three waiting horses walked in. Gulliver pawed the ground but stayed in the field. She shut the gate and got the three horses settled in their stalls.
As she walked back to the gate, Buck hung his head over the stall door. Grace stopped and ran her hand down his forehead. “You’re a good boy, aren’t ya? I’d stay and pet you a little longer, but Gulliver and Ida are still out there.”
She dropped her hand and walked to the gate. “Ida!” Ida was as slow as slow could be, but she was also the oldest in the group. Jackson had picked her up from a farmer in Abilene who was selling her off because she was no longer able to work. Jackson, the big old softy. It was one of the reasons she loved him.
A few minutes later, Ida strolled to a stop, and Grace opened the gate so she could come inside. Grace took her halter and led her to her stall. With Ida taken care of, it was Gulliver’s turn.
Her stomach hurt. Part of her wondered if she should just leave him to Jackson, but it was getting darker. She didn’t want to leave him outside. It wasn’t his fault he was so skittish.
Before she opened the gate, she pulled open his stall door. Not only did it serve as a shield, but maybe he’d take the hint.
She opened the gate and raced back to the stall door. From where she sto
od, she could see him. He pawed the ground several more times and blew air out his nose. Grace’s heart pounded, and she wondered if she was making a mistake.
A giggle popped out. She’d had plenty of time to think this through, and she’d still bulldozed ahead. When was she going to learn? Her heart whispered, never. She shook her head and concentrated on what she was doing. It wasn’t the time or place for introspection.
Minutes ticked by, and it felt like she was having a showdown with Gulliver. Slowly, he pranced his way to the gate, stopping just short of being inside the barn.
Grace tilted her head as she studied him. He was so pretty. She couldn’t understand why anyone would have wanted to hurt him. “I promise I won’t hurt you. You can walk into your stall, I’ll shut the door, and that’ll be that. I’m sorry Jackson isn’t here. I bet he’s kickin’ himself for being late.”
Gulliver neighed and bounced his head.
“Man, you are something else.”
He stood there staring at her like he was trying to make his mind up whether she was friend or foe. Then he clopped his way into the stall, and she shut the door as he stood in the far corner.
“See, I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.”
His head bounced twice. She smiled and left the barn, feeling like she’d conquered Mt. Everest. It’d been a little scary, but maybe letting him in the barn gave him a little confidence in her.
She walked through the back door of the house and stopped at the table. She’d thought her stomach was churning because she’d been nervous about Gulliver, but now, she wasn’t so sure. It felt more like food poisoning.
“You’ve looked better,” said Hannah.
“I’ve felt better,” Grace replied.
“Is Jackson not back yet?”
Grace shook her head.
“Do you know where he went?”
“I think he went back to the campsite.”
Hannah tilted her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “He didn’t tell you where he was going?”
“No.”
“Did you have a fight?”
Grace felt worse by the minute. “Hannah, I don’t have it in me to spar with you. I’m going to bed.”
Hannah sighed as Grace walked out of the kitchen. “For what it’s worth, I hope you feel better. I might be a jerk, but I’m not that big of a jerk.”
“Thanks,” Grace said and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. When she looked up, they looked like a never-ending climb. As she trudged up the stairs, she gripped the railing until she reached the landing and then braced her hand against the wall until she reached Jackson’s bedroom.
Her stomach roiled as she hit the bed, and the fish from lunch bubbled in her throat. She swallowed down the taste with a grimace. Holding her midsection, she flopped down and curled into a ball. Never had her stomach hurt so bad. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, hoping to calm it enough that she could sleep it off.
Chapter 24
In the moonlight, Jackson could see the house, and he was tempted to push Maple a little harder but decided against it. It wasn’t like it could get any darker. As he passed the pasture, he noticed the horses missing. The realization made his heart pump even harder. Had they gotten out?
Maybe they’d found a way into the barn. It wouldn’t be the first time one of them had managed to get the gate open. As Maple came to a stop, Jackson dismounted and pulled the door open.
Buck and Ida hung their heads over their stall doors and nickered. A second later, Gulliver stuck his head out.
Anger grabbed him by the throat. “Grace,” Jackson ground out. It had to be her. Hannah would’ve never taken care of his horses. Grace. What had she been thinking? Taking care of Gulliver. He could have killed her. He almost did not that long ago. How did she even get him in his stall?
Jackson was furious. What if she’d gotten hurt? His heart dived simply thinking about it. If he’d been home sooner, she wouldn’t have had to take care of the horses. It would have been his fault if she got hurt.
By the time he was finished taking care of Maple, he was so angry he couldn’t think straight. Mad at Grace. Mad at himself. Mad at the world. Why couldn’t things be simple? He loved her, and he didn’t want to pretend anymore.
He stomped into the house and pulled his hat off as he walked through the kitchen and continued up the stairs. When he reached the top step, he heard a tiny groan.
Hannah peeked her head out from the bathroom.
“Are you still here? What’s going on?” he asked.
“Grace is sick. Really sick.”
All his fury vanished like smoke. He hung his hat on the banister knob and jogged the rest of the way to the bathroom. Grace’s head was lying in Hannah’s lap. “How long has she been sick?”
“She started throwing up maybe an hour ago.”
“And you're helping her?”
Hannah leveled her eyes at him. “I can wave a white flag long enough to help her.”
Jackson stepped into the bathroom and squatted in front of Grace. He touched her forehead, and her skin was clammy. “I’m sorry I was gone.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
He slipped his arms around Grace as Hannah stood, taking her spot on the floor. “Thanks, Hannah.”
“If you need anything, you know where I am.” She tapped the doorframe and left.
Jackson pushed Grace’s hair back from her face. “What happened?”
“I think the fish was bad.” She put her fingers to her mouth. “You don’t have to stay. It’s just food poisoning.”
He pulled her onto his lap and cradled her in his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t want to hang around me while I’m throwing up.”
“I do believe my vows said in sickness and in health.”
She groaned and held her stomach. A second later, she pushed away from him and threw up. She finished and wiped her mouth with a towel. “I don’t think my stomach has ever hurt this bad. The fish—” she said and stopped. Apparently, just the mention of it made her vomit. Her body trembled when she stopped. “I didn’t think I’d eaten that much.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
“It’s not like you knew.” Another groan, and this time she dry heaved as she white-knuckled the toilet seat.
Jackson pushed off the floor and kneeled behind her, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ve got you.” His heart was breaking. He hated to see her sick.
Hours went by, and she threw up again and again, her whole body violently convulsing. It was hard to watch. Her face was so pale, and there was nothing he could do to help her. All he could do was hold her.
She panted and leaned back from the toilet. “I think I’m done,” she said, wiping her mouth.
“You want to go lie down?”
“Yeah.” She grabbed the sink and tried to pull herself up. “I’m a little pathetic. I don’t think I can get up.”
“Come on; I’ll take you.”
Grace twisted around, put her arms around his neck, and laid her head on his shoulder. “This isn’t what I had planned.”
“I don’t think you can plan for food poisoning.” He stood and carried her to their room. He’d carried rag dolls with more energy.
“I’ll never eat…that stuff again.”
Inwardly, he chuckled at her refusal to even speak of fish. “And you don’t have to,” he said as he laid her on the bed.
She tightened her arms around his neck. “Please don’t go.”
“Okay, I won’t go anywhere.” He picked her up and sat down on the bed with his back against the headboard.
Her body relaxed against his, and she was quiet so long that he thought she’d fallen asleep.
“I’m sorry I got so mad at you today. It was silly. You asked questions, and I wasn’t upset with you. I was upset with myself because I didn’t like the answers.”
He smiled. That was the conclusion he’d come to. “I didn’t handle mysel
f the way I should have. I’m sorry for my part in it.”
“You had a right to get upset with me. I was being unreasonable.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Oh, I just have no energy.”
“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“No, I need to tell you.” She slipped to the crook of his elbow and looked up at him. “I was the reason Bret was jogging that day. We had a fight. I told him I was sick of being the one always compromising. We fought over an hour, and it ended with him telling me I didn’t understand how hard it was to love me.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “I told him to get out.”
“Oh, Grace, why don’t you tell me later?”
“I’d made up my mind that I was calling off the wedding as soon as he got back. Then I got the call that he’d been hit. My heart just crumbled. I felt responsible for him dying.”
“That wasn’t your fault. It was an accident.”
“I know,” she said and closed her eyes. “I got here…and you…just your designer.”
The last three words were a knife carving his heart into pieces. “Grace, I don’t want that.” But he knew she hadn’t heard him.
On the ride to the house, he’d made up his mind that he was going to tell he loved her. Did she really only see herself as his designer? How was it possible that she could kiss him like nothing in the world mattered yet not have any feelings for him?
“You love her, don’t you?”
Jackson lifted his gaze and found Hannah standing in the doorway. “What makes you say that?”
“The way you look at her. You used to look at me like that. It was something I took for granted and probably won’t find again for a good long while.”
He nearly swallowed his tongue. Had she been body snatched? She’d been a thorn the entire time. What was going on? “Are you playing some game?”
“No. Not this time.”
Jackson didn’t know how to respond.
Hannah continued when he didn’t speak. “If I’d been smart, I’d have loved you like you were supposed to be loved. I’m sorry, Jackson.”
The Cowboy's Fake Marriage (Sweet Fake Marriage Romance Book 1) Page 16
