He walked out of my life for the second time, but this time, he had no choice. I shoved him right out that fucking door without a second thought.
But now that he’s gone, I’m left alone with my thoughts as they plague my mind. My demons are lonely as they dance in the dark to their own desolate melody. My soul weeps in perfect harmony with the silent rage that builds deep inside.
I have lived with despair before and found solace in my demons. They’re the only constant in my life, the only ones I can really trust. No matter what happens, my demons will always protect me.
So, like a snake, I shed my skin and slip into my armor carved from ice.
Kai was the only thing that made me weak. He was the fire that melted the ice inside, but the truth was exposed in the ashes.
You can’t melt ice with a fire fueled by deception.
I pushed him out and it’s time to let go.
It has been six days since I found out Kai’s truth. It’s been six days since I have faced him. Every day for the past six days, he has shown up at my front door, begging for me to talk to him.
I never answer the door.
I’ve been caught in a thick fog, growing numb to the outside world as a blizzard swirled around inside my mind. With Kai gone, life has resumed its normal routine, although there have been some modifications, and not everyone is happy with that.
Autopilot has become my crutch. I go to work, come home, sleep and maybe eat at some point. I go through the motions and give nothing more than what is expected of me.
Except there was a misconception of an expectation. When I started going back to the VIP rooms regularly, it was because I didn’t give a fuck. The men wanted me, and I wanted that. I didn’t need the money, but I wanted it anyway. It was the greed, the lust, the room full of secrets and sin.
Vincent and I never had an agreement that that was in my job description. I didn’t need it; I didn’t want it. I didn’t need a stranger to make me feel like I was on top of the world, because I wasn’t.
I’m like a sheet of ice over a freezing pond. It only takes one crack to shatter and I’ll be drowning in the frozen depths.
I cannot and will not break, not from him.
When I told Vin that I was done in the back, he lost his shit. He was losing money with my legs closed and he was not fucking happy.
But they weren’t his legs to spread open and he seemed to have forgotten that. At twenty-five, I’m getting older, but I could get a job at any strip club and Vincent knew that.
At first, he stood his ground. Either I go back to fucking or I’m out. I didn’t care. I don’t need the money, not with the dough I’m already rolling in. So, I packed up my shit and Vincent escorted me out to my car personally.
In reality, I didn’t want to go, especially when I had nothing else in life. But it wasn’t over just like that.
I had one move left, so I used it.
Blackmail him.
It didn’t take much to remind him that what goes on in the back of his club is illegal as fuck. Strippers or not, it’s prostitution and enough shit goes down to have him locked up.
He tried to threaten me back, talking about how I’d be just as fucked, but Vin doesn’t know my past.
I might get a little more than a slap on the wrist, but I did my research. I have the same lawyer that my parents’ money bought ten years ago. There’s enough shit for him to use for my defense in a trial.
All I had to do was remind him of my last name.
Moretti.
He knew them from their bloodline, their designer business and from the fortune they made.
They say money can’t buy everything, but everything has a price if the money is right.
They would have him destroyed at the sake of protecting their fucked-up daughter.
Vincent quickly shut up, returned my belongings back inside and gave me free rein to make my own schedule and do what I wanted.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing since I slammed the door in Kai’s face. I come and go at the club when I feel like it. If I feel like dancing, I do. If I don’t, Vin finds another girl to take my place.
Control and power.
It courses through my veins and extinguishes the weakness that seeped in.
I’m the threat that walks around wearing a diamond fucking crown. They bow at my feet and worship their queen, as they fucking should.
I don’t need a dick to feel that high that my body craves.
Steam rolls from the shower as I step out and wrap a towel around my body. Quickly drying off, I run some product through my hair and blow dry it. Standing naked in front of the mirror, I run a straightening iron through my curls and smooth them out completely.
I’m comfortable in my own skin. Naked and exposed is my comfort zone because what they all see is flawless skin and not the scars beneath the surface.
After my hair is stick straight and brushing against the top of my ass, I quickly throw on minimal clothes. Just enough material to make myself look publicly acceptable. Skipping my makeup, I head downstairs and grab my purse and my keys.
I wasn’t supposed to be at the club tonight, but I make my own rules and now I’m on the schedule for the night.
I’m walking to the door that leads into the garage when I hear a loud thud. Spinning back around, I face the front door where the sound came from. A muffled “fuck” quickly follows the noise.
Reaching inside my purse, I grab my pistol and clutch it in my hand as I eye the front door warily.
I’ve learned to always expect the unexpected and always be prepared for anything.
Shoot first, ask questions later.
Not the best philosophy, but they can talk if they’re breathing. Death is always an option, it’s just up to the shooter for how quickly it will come.
Adrenaline courses through my veins as I move quietly toward the front door. Stealth is the most important piece to having any type of advantage on an unwelcomed guest.
I peer out the peephole, but there isn’t anyone standing there. As quietly as possible, I unlock the padlock and slide the chain lock on the door.
Just because I can’t see anything doesn’t mean that I’m alone.
I can’t see anyone, but every sense I have is heightened and on high alert.
I know I’m not alone.
Grabbing the doorknob with one hand, I grip my pistol in the other and pull it open in a rush. The front light on the porch flashes on, just as his dark form falls sideways on the concrete.
“Oh, fuck,” Kai mutters as he loses his support from the door. Sitting on the ground, he glances up at me with bloodshot eyes and squints from the bright light.
I freeze with my arm extended and my gun pointed in his face.
Shoot first, ask questions later.
Kai stares at me past the short barrel of the gun.
I could have shot him. What the fuck kind of questions would I have asked him later?
Why am I worried about any of that? I should shoot the fucker already.
“Can you get the gun out of my face, please?” he slurs as his eyes become unfocused. I don’t have to be close to him to smell the alcohol on his breath. It seeps from his pores and radiates from his body like an expensive cologne.
He’s completely shit-faced.
Alcohol thins the blood.
I could shoot him now and let the fucker bleed out on my front porch. It wouldn’t take long.
Letting out a deep sigh, I pull my arm back and shove the Glock back into my purse.
“Thank you,” he lets out in a rush and readjusts himself against the door jamb. “Can we talk? Just hear me out?”
Glaring at him, I roll my eyes. “This shit, again?” I scoff.
Every. Fucking. Time.
“Yes,” he growls. “This shit again. This shit isn’t done until you hear the truth.”
Growing impatient, I shift my weight and grip the doorknob until my knuckles turn white. “Look, Kai. I really don’t have time f
or this shit right now,” I admit in defeat.
Cocking his head to the side, he lazily drags his eyes up and down my body before landing on my face. “Going somewhere?”
I cut my eyes at him but say nothing. What I do or don’t do doesn’t concern him.
“You don’t work tonight, so where could you possibly be going, bambolina?” he questions me and clenches his jaw.
What the fuck?
“You’re already trespassing,” I seethe, breaking my vow of silence. “Have we fully crossed over into stalking since you seem to know my entire life? Are we bordering on harassment now too?”
“I know everything that I need to know,” he chuckles, ignoring my last question.
“Fuck off, Kai,” I bark. “You don’t know a goddamn thing about me. So, it’s time for you to run along back to your fancy mansion with your perfect life and your trophy wife.”
His face falls and his cocky expression falters for a moment. His mouth falls open as he starts to speak, but his words are cut off as I slam the door shut in his face.
I quickly secure the locks and stride through the house and into the garage. Slipping into my car, I bring the engine to life and open the garage door.
The light above the door illuminates the driveway as I back out. Hitting the button, the door shuts as I ease the car into the street. Glancing up at the house, I can see his silhouette in the same place that I left him on the porch.
I sit for a moment, watching him through the darkness. Every time I see him, I can feel a small crack in the ice surrounding me.
And every time I leave him, an emptiness fills the void.
There’s no place for him or these feelings in my life. He’s becoming an increasing threat to my sanity.
I need him gone.
Gripping the steering wheel, I step on the gas and tear away from the house. I don’t bother fighting the urge and watch my house disappear in the rearview mirror.
Racing down the busy streets of New York, I speed to the club knowing damn well that I’m only fooling myself.
I don’t need him gone.
I just need him.
But he isn’t mine to need
Maybe he never was.
Kai
SLOWLY BLINKING, MY eyes adjust to the darkness and become focused. Running my hand through my hair, I glance around at Dahlia’s empty front porch.
The last thing I remember was watching her taillights fade in the distance. I must have dozed off after that.
Sitting here now, alone in the dark, I’m stone cold sober. I slept off my buzz and now I’m left with my mind replaying when I saw Dahlia earlier. It was the first time that she had spoken to me since she found out about Aliana.
I let her shut me down and shut me out. I gave her the option to hear me out and let me explain everything to her.
She chose wrong.
Now she doesn’t get a choice.
Dahlia will hear everything that I have to say, whether she wants to hear it or not.
Pulling out a chair, I drop down onto it and prop my arms up on the table. I glance at the clock, noting the time and turn my chair to face the door. Leaning back, I relax against the back of the chair and wait.
The anticipation is strong as it courses through my body. She’ll be pissed and I should be nervous, but I’m far from it. Her rage, it’s the fire that I need and I’m ready for every last ember.
A flash of lights comes through the windows in the front of the house and a low hum sounds from the other side of the door.
She got here faster than I expected, but that changes nothing.
I’m fucking ready.
A rustling noise sounds from the garage as the doorknob jiggles. The lock inside it ticks as it’s released, and the door falls open in a rush. The room illuminates from the ceiling as she hits the light switch and slams the door shut.
Turning around, Dahlia’s eyes quickly find me sitting at her dining room table. Her eyes widen as a barely audible gasp falls from her lips and her purse drops onto the floor.
She quickly recovers and crosses her arms over her chest with a scowl on her face. Zoning in on my face, her eyes mimic her rage and shoot balls of fire into mine.
“Why the fuck are you in my house?” she demands harshly. The flames roll off her tongue and bite at my skin, but her fire doesn’t affect me in the way she intends. It’s exactly what I crave.
My lips twitch as I fiend off the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth. Chuckling lightly, I stand and walk toward her. Dahlia’s eyes narrow as I stop in front of her and bend over to pick up her purse.
It lands with a thud as I drop it onto the counter. “I must say,” I start as I reach into my pocket and pull out the key. “With how locked up your fortress is, I’m a little disappointed in how poorly you hid this.”
Dahlia watches me with caution and suspicion, assessing my every move. Holding her spare key in my palm, I press it onto the cool marble countertop and slide it toward her.
Her hand darts out as she plucks it off the counter and tightens her fist around it. A long curl falls into her face and she bats at it, pushing it out of her line of sight. “How did you find this?” she snarls as her hair falls back into her face.
Cocking my head to the side, a smirk falls onto my lips as she continues to glare at me. Stepping closer to her, I reach out and brush the hair from her face. There’s a hitch in her breath and she inhales sharply as my fingertips graze her skin. Dahlia’s body grows rigid as I tuck the curl behind her ear. Her pulse pounds through her soft skin as I lightly drag my fingers down the side of her neck.
“I know you, bambolina,” I breathe as I brush my fingertips across her collarbone. She lets out a ragged breath as the different shade of green swirl in her heated eyes.
The fake rock with the secret compartment was a nice diversion from where she actually hid the key. It wasn’t hard to find it underneath one of the real rocks in her flower bed. She wasn’t stupid, but the rock and how close it was to the fake one was too easy to find. Dahlia’s neighborhood is fairly safe, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing, not in the world that we live in that’s plagued with monsters.
My hand falls to my side as Dahlia quickly takes a step back. The distance between us feels as if we’re miles apart, but the tension in the air paints a completely different picture. She’s still close enough that I can smell her expensive scent, but she’s just out of my reach.
She slipped up for a moment and her shield vanished. With the distance came her guard and her armor was back in place. Eyeing me warily, she walks around the island and stops on the other side, standing opposite of me.
Her shoulders slump in defeat. “What do you want from me, Kai?” My name comes out as a pained sigh. Her eyes are dark and laced with pain in the embers of the dying fire inside.
“I want what I’ve always wanted, Dahlia,” I admit with nothing but honesty in every word. “You are all that I’ve ever wanted and everything that I need.”
She scoffs. “Kai.” Her voice is low and pained as she purses her lips and briefly closes her eyes. There is no void in the depths of her green irises as she looks back at me. An insurmountable amount of emotions whirl inside them like a dark, violent storm. “We both have our own lives now. You’re engaged for fuck’s sake.”
Deep inside, I feel her pain. My soul takes on everything she feels in an effort to lift her own despair. In reality, we’re both circling the drain of true misery. But without each other, that’s where we will both end up. In our own personal hells, living parallel lives and watching each other from the other side of the street.
I’m here for one thing and one thing only. She needs to know the truth and when she does, all of the pieces will fall into place. She’ll be mine again and this time for good.
She opened the door for this and I’m not hesitating on jumping in headfirst.
“It’s more of a business arrangement,” I start as the confusion becomes evident on her face. “It was also part
of the agreement that I made with Anthony to keep you safe.”
“Anthony? Your father’s lawyer?” she asks in disbelief.
I nod. “Yes. Aliana is his daughter.”
Dahlia’s eyes grow wide as she stands frozen. Her mouth falls open, but I raise my hand, lightly shaking my head and silence her before she can start with her snarky comments and questions.
“Put your claws away and let me finish before you attack.”
Surprisingly, she listens, and her lips are sealed. She waits quietly for me to continue as she watches me nervously.
“The night of the raid, when we were separated, I made a deal with Anthony to keep you safe. You and I were the only two left alive and my father knew that I would never talk. It was never my style, but no one knew what you would do. You’re a liability and unpredictable in their eyes and I knew that my father would always be watching you. I couldn’t have him get to you first.
“Anthony was blind to what my father was actually doing. He knew it was some illegal shit and my father fed him bullshit on the specifics, but he got all of the details when it came time for him to represent my father in court. He’s truly a mastermind with the way he managed to get those fuckers off the hook, but he’s made sure you were safe for this long.”
Dahlia’s brow furrows and she purses her lips. “If you knew where I was, why didn’t you come sooner?” she interjects in a hushed voice.
I sigh deeply. “I didn’t know where you were before. It was part of our deal. One of the conditions was that I could never see you or it would jeopardize everything. He kept everything he knew about you from me and no matter how hard I tried, he refused to leak any information.”
Dahlia pulls out one of the stools and sits down at the island across from me. “What changed now?”
Fuck.
Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose before roughly running my hand through my hair. Regaining composure, I look back down at her.
“I never should have let it go on for this long. I’ve been living a lie, going through the motions of life with a mask glued to my face. I’m a fraud. I had myself convinced that you’re better off without me and maybe you are. To be one hundred percent honest, I don’t give a fuck. I’m an asshole and I’m selfish and I know damn well that I am not better off without you. You’re mine, you always have been, and I’m here to take back what is mine.”
Entangled Chaos (Entangled Duet Book 1) Page 14
