“Are you going to be all right?” Synové’s brows pulled low. There was concern in her voice but dogged anger also simmered in her eyes. Now that she knew Bahr was among the fugitives, this mission had become personal. Wren’s promise that the ride back would be torture seemed to be a goal that calmed her.
“Of course she’s all right,” Wren answered, then looked at me, waiting for me to confirm it.
“Yes,” I answered. And I was. I wasn’t sure if it was a relief or not, but when Jase said there were no drivers like the one I had described to him, I at least knew I wouldn’t turn a corner and run into him face-to-face. Not in the middle of all this, where I might jeopardize everything. I didn’t want to come undone the way Synové had last night when Wren and I had to hold her back. Too much was at stake. Knowing he wasn’t here allowed me to push thoughts of returning to the Previzi warehouse out of my mind and concentrate on what needed to be done.
I thought about Jase’s question, How do you go from anguish to pulling coins out from behind ears? I had given him an angry answer, but the truth was, by shielding Nash and Lydia, it felt like I had reclaimed a small part of myself. And that was what I was doing now, reclaiming that part of me that believed I could still make some things right. It was all I had.
“Good morning, ladies!” Natiya rounded the corner, a tub of slop propped against her hip. “On my way with a present for the sow,” she said loudly, in case the groom wondered why she was here.
She sidled close, and we smiled as we chatted, but our conversation wasn’t about potato peels for the swine. We had already talked last night. I had told them about our additional fugitives and the Ballengers’ motives for harboring them—weapons, domination, and a trap for the queen. Eben was convinced that the two men I didn’t know were scholars, more traitors lured away from Morrighan by the Komizar. He said it was never known just how many had lurked in the catacombs beneath Sanctum City, unlocking the mysteries of the Ancients, or just what they had escaped with. The captain must have hooked up with his crew of cronies, hoping for a second chance at the riches that had eluded them.
We set our plans in motion, fine-tuning the details to accommodate five more prisoners.
“Don’t be late for dinner. Timing is critical,” Natiya ordered. She said she was sending Eben with the stable dinners an hour before dusk to ensure the dogs weren’t released. The family dinner had to coincide with the stable hands’ dinnertime. “We might have more time, but we can only count on a two-hour window. What about the Patrei? He’s complicit in this. Do we take him too?”
They all looked at me, waiting. They knew it was imperative that I feel right about this, and since I was lead, Natiya left it to me to call the final shots, but something nagged at me. Maybe it was Vairlyn’s eagerness to talk about menus for the queen. Had Jase deceived his mother too? Or were they all masters at deceit? Or maybe I hadn’t quite abandoned everything I believed about Jase yet—that there was a kindness deep in his core, that he wanted to do the right thing. I looked back at Natiya. Her gaze remained steady, waiting. Yes, Jase was complicit, but our mission had been to retrieve a single fugitive and now we had six, more than we could handle. “Not this time,” I answered. “We already have a full load. Trust me, Jase isn’t leaving Hell’s Mouth. This is his home—he won’t disappear. The matter of the Patrei’s guilt can be addressed later.”
“What about Jalaine?” Wren asked. “She could be a problem if she doesn’t come to dinner again.”
“I’ll talk to her,” I said. “I’ll make sure she—”
“Kazi, there you are!”
“Oh snakes, it’s the nasty one,” Synové rumbled under her breath.
Gunner walked toward us. “I’ve been looking for you.” He slowed, noting Natiya’s presence. “What are you all doing out here?”
“Morning, sir!” Natiya chirped, bobbing her head. “And it’s a beautiful one, isn’t it? Just on my way with slop for the sow. Her farrow should be here any day.” She nodded at the heap of leavings in the tub. “A little planning ahead reaps great rewards—and pudgy piglets. Good day, ladies!” She bounced happily away, and Gunner’s attention turned back to me.
“And I was just grooming Mije after a morning ride,” I said. “What can I do for you, Gunner?”
“Jase wants to see you.”
“He couldn’t come himself?”
“He’s wrapped up with something right now, but he wants to meet you by the fountain in the gardens in ten minutes. It’s important.”
By the fountain? It was more than odd, but I didn’t want to upset Gunner’s easily toppled applecart at this point with just hours left at Tor’s Watch.
“All right,” I answered. “Do you know what it’s about?”
He shrugged. “Something about the queen coming.” His poker face was pathetic. He obviously didn’t share his brother’s accomplished skill at lying.
“Sure. We’ll be there.”
“No,” he said firmly. “Just you.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
JASE
We had the timing worked out so it would look like chance. Zane was just unlocking the back gate into Cave’s End to make a delivery when I came riding down the road from the stables.
“Patrei!” he called. “Where are you off to?”
“Unexpected business that I need a quick answer for. What else is new, right?” I stopped my horse as if mulling something over. “Actually, I had a question for Garvin, but you might be able to save me a trip. It’s about Venda. You ever run wagons there?”
“Sure. But it’s been years. What’s the question?”
“In Sanctum City, they have something called the jen-der, the ja—”
“The jehendra? Yes, that’s their marketplace.”
“So you delivered goods there?”
“Lots of times. Whatever the Komizar didn’t want, we’d unload there. It’s huge, but nothing like the arena.”
I got down from my horse. “Here, let me help you.” I opened the gate while he drove his cart in and then I explained I had a visitor, a merchant from the jehendra who had a deal that seemed too good to be true. I was skeptical but still intrigued. It might give us the first inroads into trade with Venda, and she offered me a very good deal I at least had to investigate. “She claims that she runs the largest textile shop in the jehendra—”
Zane nodded. “I might know her. I always had some fabrics in my load. The Komizar liked to keep certain friends well dressed.”
“Good. I’d feel better if you’d eye her for me. Discreetly. Confirm she’s really who she says she is.”
I led him through the tunnel that ran to Darkcottage, saying that when I left she was walking in the gardens with Gunner and maybe she was still there. I watched him walk ahead of me on the cellar stairs, his steps heavy and confident, not the steps of a man who had anything to hide, his arms swinging as he walked. The detail I had ignored a hundred times was now all I could see—the mole on his wrist. When we reached the front drawing room, I opened the shutter and looked through the window. “There they are,” I said. “Over by the fountain.”
Her back was to us, but Gunner saw the signal of me opening the shutter and coaxed Kazi around to face us. The distance and reflection on the window would be enough to hide us from her view, but I was no longer watching Kazi. I only watched Zane. If he was really the one Kazi had seen, I doubted he could recognize her after all these years—but her mother was another matter, and I took a gamble that Kazi looked enough like her that she might spark some recognition.
He stared at Kazi, his head turning slightly to the side, as if he was confused. He studied her, and his expression went slack as though he were seeing a ghost. His mouth hung open, and he turned to me, his pupils pinpoints. He sensed a trick. “No, I don’t know her.”
But it was already too late. “You son of a bitch!” I grabbed him and slammed him up against the wall. Kazi had described him perfectly, right down to his onyx eyes. They were terrified no
w. He wanted me too, but couldn’t find me. The room around me spun, dark and furious. Zane pushed back, fighting against me, but I slammed him back again. “You filthy flesh trader!” I yelled and swung, my fist colliding with his jaw. He fell over a table, but jumped to his feet quickly, drawing a knife from his boot, but then he saw Mason, Titus, Drake, and Tiago enter the room. He dropped the knife, knowing it was useless. His eyes grew wide. Blood ran from his nose.
“I swear! I don’t know her!”
I shoved him toward Drake and Tiago. “I have to go meet Kazi. She’s waiting for me. When it’s clear, take him to the warehouse.”
Screams couldn’t be heard from there.
Zane would be answering our questions, if it took one fingernail—or fingertip—at a time.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
KAZI
Gunner was chatty. Not Gunner at all. He apologized for Jase being late and seemed distracted, like he didn’t want to be there. He fidgeted, then circled around to the other side of the fountain. I turned to face him.
“I think it’s clear that Jase isn’t coming,” I said. “I’ll talk to him later.”
“Give him five more minutes,” he answered, but just a short time later he left, saying he would go look for him.
It wasn’t that Jase and I didn’t have plenty to talk about, but it seemed strange that he’d want to speak out here in the gardens where raised voices would be easily heard. Smooth it over. With only hours to go, I knew Natiya’s advice was prudent, but Jase wasn’t an acquaintance like Gunner I could shrug off. Jase was—
I wasn’t sure what he was anymore.
I stared at the bubbling fountain.
Setting traps for the queen? An arsenal of weapons to dominate the other kingdoms? That wasn’t Jase. I still had a hard time reconciling it. Jase loved Hell’s Mouth. This was his whole world. His history. It was all he wanted. All he wanted to protect. But the evidence was plain. His lies, hiding fugitives, an enclave guarded by poisonous dogs, the weapons. Is that what those stacks of paper were? Plans for weapons? Formulas? And the workshops filled with supplies? I remembered the strange list of ingredients on Priya’s desk that Jase personally had to approve. Supplies for BI, not the Ballenger Inn but Captain Beaufort Illarion. What kind of weapons were they devising that could put all the kingdoms under their thumbs?
I looked around again. Where was he?
I dreaded speaking to him but found myself scanning the walkways between the houses, looking for a glimpse of his dark-blond hair, uncertain which direction he would come from. My anticipation grew and I finally turned away, frustration brimming inside. I was halfway through the long rose arbor when I heard footsteps. Running. I stopped and turned.
It was Jase.
He was at the end of the arbor. His steps slowed when he spotted me. He was breathless, as if he had run a long way. I didn’t move as he walked closer, bracing myself for whatever he had to say. His hair was unkempt, strands falling over his brow. He stopped in front of me and raked them back. His gaze flooded mine, washed into every corner of my mind.
The silence stretched, and I heard a chain that was no longer there, jingling. I felt Jase holding me in a river, keeping my head above the water. For what? The throb in my chest deepened. If he had been cruel back then, his lies now would hurt me less.
“Kazi—”
His voice was more than I could bear and I began to turn away, but he stopped me, gently turning me back to face him.
“Please, Kazi, hear me out. There’s so much we need to talk about. I’m sorry about losing my temper yesterday. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through. My family’s made mistakes, I know, and I’m going to try to fix them, but right now something else needs to be said. I know you’ve never wanted to hear this, but after yesterday I have to say it…” He paused, swallowed, as if afraid. “I love you. I love you with every breath, with every thought that’s inside me. I’ve loved you from the first time I kissed you on that ledge. Even before that.”
I shook my head, trying to pull away. “Jase, no—” But he pulled me closer and didn’t stop.
“When I asked, What is this? I already knew. I knew what I felt, what I was certain you felt too, but I was afraid to say it, because it was all new to me. It seemed too soon, too impossible. But everything about us didn’t just feel right, it felt like something rare, something delicate that I was afraid of breaking. Something that only comes along once in a lifetime.”
He lifted my chin so I had to look at him.
Don’t do this to me, Jase. It’s too late. Pain knifed through me, my insides in pieces. All I wanted to do was believe every word, forget all his lies, feed my fantasy. A thousand wish stalks throwing pleas to the universe that we were lost and alone on a star-filled ledge again.
“I don’t want to lose you, Kazi. I’m not asking for promises. I don’t even want an answer now, but I want to ask you to at least think about staying here with me. Forever.”
He cradled my face in his hands. “There. I’ve said it now, and I won’t take it back. I love you, Kazi of Brightmist, and I will never stop saying it, not through a thousand tomorrows.”
He slowly lowered his mouth to mine, and instead of turning away, I kissed him back. I tasted the sweetness of his tongue, and a wilderness swelled up around us, tall grass swaying at our ankles. I repeated my first glorious mistake again and again, but this time, I told myself, I was only smoothing it over.
* * *
Jalaine wasn’t in her room. Oleez told me I could find her in the solarium on the top floor of the house. In the summertime, the solarium was mostly abandoned. Even with all the windows open, the air could be stifling. There was no breeze today, and I already felt the blast of heat as I trudged up the last few steps.
The wide double doors were pushed open. It was an expansive room with high vaulted ceilings, furnished with plain wooden furniture. I guessed that in wintertime they were covered with colorful cushions and coverlets. The scent of cut greenery hung in the heavy air. Jalaine was in the corner, her back to me, tending some sort of large potted shrub, but she was just staring at it, as if lost in thought. A pair of shears hung limply in her hand. A few cut leaves lay scattered at her feet.
“Either come in or go away,” she called without turning.
Not as lost in thought as I had supposed. But then I realized she had seen me in the reflection of one of the many windows that were angled open. I entered and she returned to trimming the tiny leaves. Her thin white dress clung to her, damp with sweat. I eyed the shears in her hand. I still didn’t know if she knew I was the one who had killed Fertig.
“We’ve missed you at dinner,” I said.
She returned her attentions to the shrub. The quick furious snip of her shears cut the air. “I doubt that.”
I decided it was best to get right to the heart of the matter. “I’m sorry about Fertig.”
She turned to face me, the tiny leaves rustling under her feet. “Why would you be sorry? He almost killed you.” She looked at my neck, the bruises new shades of purple today.
“I’m sorry because you cared for him.”
“Fertig?” Her lip twisted with contempt. “I didn’t love Fertig. Is that what you thought? You came to comfort me over poor Fertig?”
She laughed and her mouth pressed into a miserable smile. “I was flattered by his attentions. That’s all. I enjoyed them.” It was strange to hear the deep bitterness in her voice. It aged her. “It all seemed harmless. He was amusing. I even wondered if he might grow on me in a more permanent way. Eventually. I was drawing it out, playing with him, because he was a distraction from the dull routine of the arena office.”
She tossed her shears onto the table and stared at them, her gaze lost in a distant world again. “But as it turned out, he was the one playing with me. Using me. He said he loved me, and I believed him. I was a gullible tool.”
I swallowed. “Anyone can be duped. No one blames you.”
“Jase does.
That’s why he pulled me from the arena. And he’s right. I blame myself. I let the family down.”
“We all make mistakes, Jalaine. But we have to move on. Come to dinner tonight. Please. Your family is still your family. They want you there.”
She looked at me, brokenness filling her eyes. I saw her desire to be forgiven, but forgiving herself was another matter. Her pain riddled through me, something too familiar.
“I’ll think about it,” she said and turned away, still unconvinced. She grabbed a broom propped against the wall and began sweeping the cuttings into a pile.
I left to the scritch, scritch, scritch of the broom, Jalaine mindlessly sweeping, wandering in a world brimming with her own shame, and I was still uncertain if the problem of Jalaine coming to dinner was solved.
The stuffy staircase seemed like it circled around and down forever until I thought I would never take a deep breath again. I let the family down.
I raced to the last flight of stairs, wiping the sweat from my brow, and emerged on the cool landing at last. They are not my family, I reminded myself.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
JASE
“I swear! I don’t deal in flesh! I never have!”
After an hour of questioning, and with gardening shears clamped over his finger, he confessed to taking Kazi’s mother. “She was a half-starved beggar! She was going to get a better life.”
The way flesh traders always tried to justify their actions.
“That’s why you had to drug her? Why you wanted her child too?”
His face went slack. It finally sank in, who he had seen in the garden. Not a ghost but the child of the woman he had taken. His eyes darted back and forth, looking around the warehouse, as if searching for an escape that he had overlooked. There were none. He was tied to a chair, surrounded by five of us. He looked back at me. “It was one time. I only did it once.”
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