Dory took a deep, painful breath. “What things?”
A tremor in her voice caused him to ask, “Are you cold? I’ll get another blanket.”
“I’m not cold.” Her voice now was small and resigned.
“I told you about the summer I was at the boardinghouse in Seattle. I didn’t tell you all of it. That summer Milo and Louis were there. They didn’t pay any attention to me, but they paid plenty of attention to the girl who was to be Odette’s mother. She swore to me that I was the only man in her bed that summer, but I can’t be absolutely sure.”
Dory turned her face away from him and for a long moment there was silence. He heard her catch her breath as she had done before. Finally she spoke.
“What were they doing there?”
“Seeing the sights, they said.”
“What was her name?”
“Virginia.”
“Would she lie?”
“I’ve thought about that. She might have decided that I was the best out of those she had to choose from.”
“You think she’s Milo’s daughter or Louis’s?”
“I don’t know for sure whose daughter she is. Look at me, Dory.” With fingers beneath her chin he turned her face toward him. “But I took her for my daughter when her mother gave her to me.”
“She could be my niece, and James could be her uncle. Is that what you’re saying?”
“I guess it is.”
“Then she can’t marry James.” Tears rolled from Dory’s eyes. Silent tears.
“It would be against the law of God and man.”
“You wouldn’t have to tell anyone.” The whispered words barely reached him.
“But I would know, sweetheart. And you would know.”
“Are you in love with her? Are you making this up so she won’t marry James?”
Her words hit Ben crushingly. He remained absolutely still, then he said quietly, “You know better than that.”
“But I don’t understand why you kept her with you when you didn’t know if she was yours or not.”
“What else could I do? What chance would a young, deaf girl have in a place like Seattle? She would have been raped before :he week was out. After that she would have been grabbed up by some money-hungry hustler and put in a whorehouse to be used by any jack-tar that had two bits. Even if there was only one chance in a hundred that she was mine, I couldn’t let that happen to her.”
Dory was crying silently. Ben moved closer and put his arm about her shoulders. She didn’t resist. He pulled her to him and held her against his chest, cuddling her, rocking her, stroking her hair, whispering to her.
“Ah, sweetheart!” The words seemed torn from him. “I don’t know what to do about us.” He placed small kisses on her forehead. He took a deep, quivering breath. “There’s something about you that makes my insides melt when I look at you, makes me long to touch you, hold you.” Dory heard a tinge of resentment in his voice.
She tilted her face up to look at him. It was too dark to see his eyes, but she knew they were looking into hers. She placed her palm against his cheek. The love, the warmth, the yearning was all there in her touch.
“You may not want to hear this, but I feel I must tell you that I love you.” The words rumbled out of her mouth even as tears rolle I out of her eyes. It seemed to Dory that everything she had ever dreamed of having was within reach, and yet it was slipping away.
“I never wanted to make you cry.” A low moaning sound came from his throat. His lips moved to sip at her tears. “I wanted you tc know why I acted as I did. I told James. He isn’t thinking straight right now.”
Dory pulled back from him. “Do you love me? Or do you just want to take me to bed? I’ve got to know,” she asked in quiet desperation, discarding all pride.
“I love you and I want to take you to bed,” he said harshly. “I like to think that I’m a normal man. I have the urge to mate with my woman like any male. You are the woman for me.” He held her tightly to him, giving her no chance to resist. “Why do you think I stayed here when every instinct told me to take Odette and go? I was ready to leave the night we came here, and then I saw the loneliness in your eyes. I was almost grateful to the storm. The second time Odette was sick, and after that I was hooked good and proper. I couldn’t leave. I wanted to be with you and the little mop-head.” The last words were a husky whisper against her cheek.
“I don’t want you to feel hooked or obligated to stay because you think something will happen to me if you leave. James will get the mess straightened out with the judge.”
“Dammit! I am hooked. I am obligated to take care of the woman I love.” His arms had tightened to the point that she could scarcely breathe. “I could have killed Milo as easily as I would a rabid dog for what he did to you. Then I thought of prison, of being locked up away from you. That’s what made me decide to use my fists and not my gun if I didn’t have to.”
“If you love me, then why did you say it was impossible for us to be together?” She tried to push herself away from him, but he held her tightly.
“Be still!”
“No! You’re casting me aside because one of my brothers could be Odette’s father.”
“Are you willing to go away with me? Far away?”
“Why? To put distance between Odette and James? Or is it that you want to get me away where it isn’t known that I had a child out of wedlock?”
“I could shake you for that. Answer me. Will you go away with me?”
“I would go to the ends of the earth with you for the right reason. Tell Odette what you suspect and let her and James decide.” She snuggled back in his arms and pressed her face to his neck. “I don’t want to lose you.”
He embraced her roughly, but there was nothing rough in the way he kissed her. It was a tender kiss. His lips touched hers like some newfound treasure. He fit his fingers around her soft breast and squeezed gently. He didn’t know what to say to her. He held her for a long time, hoping to quiet his pounding heart, wanting and loving her in silence. After a while she moved her face so that they were cheek to cheek.
“Ben…” She held him as if he were a dream that would fade away if she let go. “Don’t let anything come between us.”
“Shhh… Don’t think about it anymore, sweetheart.”
“I can’t help thinking about it. I’ve thought of you every night and wished that you were with me.”
“I’ve thought about how it would be if you were all mine, and I had the right to touch your breast, your belly, your secret places. I’ve wondered if you’d want me or would just let me have my way with you. Right now I want to hold you, feel all of you, kiss you—”
Her arms encircled him. “Is that all you want?” Her voice was thick and unsteady.
“No, dammit!” He groped for her hand and pressed it against his elongated organ. “I’m rock-hard and aching.” he said hoarsely. “But I’m a man, not a rutting stag. You needn’t fear me.”
“It never entered my mind to be afraid you’d force me. Sit up here with me and hold me.”
He lifted his head. “You sure, honey? It could lead to something you may regret.”
“I won’t regret it. I lost my pride minutes ago when I realized that I might lose you.”
“I’ll get another blanket.”
He was back in seconds. Soon they were sitting with their backs to the sidewalls of the wagon. He took off his gunbelt and placed it beside him within easy reach before he put his arms around her.
Dory delighted in the sensation of being cuddled against him, feeling the warmth of his body. The blanket he spread over their legs and pulled up to her shoulders closed them in their own private world. Never had she felt so safe, so filled with tenderness. And never had she been more determined that nothing or no one would take him away from her. She slid her arm up about his neck and kissed the corner of his mouth.
He didn’t know what to say. He held her, hoping to quiet his pounding heart, wanting and loving he
r in silence. After a while she moved her lips to his ear.
“I do love you.” Her voice was merely a breath of a sound.
“I never thought I’d hear a woman say that to me.”
“Odette loves you.”
“It isn’t the same. She depends on me.”
Their lips met in joint seeking, her mouth as hungry as his. His hands roamed over her, caressing every inch of her back and sides. One hand shaped itself over her breast, the other flattened against her hip and held her to him. Moving her hand between them she worked on the buttons on her dress, then took his hand and slipped it inside. His palm was rough, but warm, and the feel of it against her nipple sent waves of desire through her.
“Dory. Oh, sweet Dory.” The words came from his tight throat in a tormenting whisper. “Godamighty! Sweetheart!” A tremor ran through him as if the earth beneath the wagon were shaking.
“I like for you to touch me. I want you—” Her hand worked its way inside his shirt. With spread fingers, her palm stroked his chest. “Have I shocked you?” Her mouth sought his in a soul-searching kiss as an insistent, primitive desire grew in both of them.
“Honey, you smell so good.” He sniffed her neck, her hair, her breast. You smell like a sweet woman should smell.” His voice trembled.
“When I was with Mick… it was out of pity. I want to be with you because I love you.” She pressed her hand against the hardened evidence of his desire and felt the jolt that passed through his body.
Then he was kissing her, his mouth taking gentle possession of hers. Every instinct urged him to bury himself in her body, but an even stronger need overrode the physical one— the need to have love and trust. He whispered her name. His long lingers slid into her tangled curls to hold her head so that his mouth could part her lips in desperate search for fulfillment.
She met his searching lips and surrendered to the excitement of his touch, her mouth responding to the insistent persuasion of his. She clung to him, bonelessly melting into his hard body. The kiss deepened. His hunger seemed insatiable, and his caressing hands became almost savage. An acute aching sensation gathered in the region between her thighs. She moved restlessly closer to him, a hunger gnawing at her relentlessly.
The kiss went on and on as if it were impossible to end it. The taste of her, the smell of her tilled his senses. Ben wanted to pull her inside him and keep her there forever. His heart was pounding against her soft breast. He hadn’t meant for this to happen when he had brought her here. Even as he was kissing her, a small voice told him to stop. She deserved more than to be taken in a shed on a waaon bed.
“Dory… sweetheart. As much as I want to join with you… I’ve got to stop.”
A small growl of protest came from her.
“No, don’t stop. I want this night with you. It may be all I’ll ever have.” Even as she spoke, her hands clutched him; her breathing and her heartbeat were all mixed up.
“Honey, listen. There will be other nights.”
“Are you sure? I’m afraid to believe it.”
“Believe it, sweetheart. When we’re together for the first time, I want to hold you in my arms without anything at all between us. I want to see your face when we’re joined together. I’ve never done this when it was an act of love. I want it to be our special time that we can remember always. Afterward I want to hold you while you sleep, wake you up and love you again.” The words were groaned thickly in her ear.
“Will that happen, Ben? Will that really happen?”
“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll make it happen.”
“Promise me.” Her hand against his cheek kept his face against hers. “Promise you won’t let this thing with James and Odette come between us.”
“I promise. Now kiss me again.”
His kisses came upon her mouth, warm and sweet. Dory heard his harsh breathing in her ear, and his hoarsely whispered words. He told her that he wanted to hold her naked in his arms and feel every inch of her against him. She murmured that she wanted it too, and said that she would thank God every day of her life for bringing him to her. He trembled and groaned a muted, strangled, incoherent sound and moved his lips from her warm wet mouth.
Ben shifted his body slightly to form a more comfortable cradle for her. They sat quietly. Passion ebbed. They were content to be close. As the moon shone on her face, he could see that her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted. He was certain now that she held his heart, and he could never let her go.
There wasn’t another woman in the world like this woman, Ben thought. She was not only lovely, she was proud, calm, and intelligent. He had not met many men that would have been more courageous than she had been. The thought of another man putting his hands on her, hurting her, caused Ben’s arms to tighten around her, his muscles to quiver, and a feeling close to panic to knot his stomach.
“I have never been this happy in all my life,” she whispered.
“I’m happy too.” He kissed her forehead.
They sat in the wagon bed until the moon disappeared behind the pines on the western side of the homestead. A restless lobo howled his frustration at being unable to find his mate. Far away she answered his call. Then there was silence except for the wind that moaned softly over the tin roof of the shed.
Breakfast was an awkward affair. James was sullen and quiet. Knowing his unhappiness, Dory tried to douse her exuberant spirits. Her eyes went often to Ben and his to her. Odette had given in easily when Dory had suggested she stay in bed until Jeanmarie awakened and they could come down together.
After the meal, Ben picked up the water bucket and went out to the pump. He was back almost immediately.
“Someone’s coming.” He plucked the rifle off the pegs over the door, checked the load and went out onto the porch. James and Dory followed. James shaded his eyes with his palm and looked down the two-wheel track that led toward Spencer.
“It’s one of McHenry’s boys.”
Dory felt a spurt of relief before she thought of Steven.
“Do you suppose it’s Steven?”
“Could be. He wasn’t in very good shape when I saw him.”
Ben took the rifle back into the house and came to stand behind Dory. Needing for her to know that he was there, he put his hand on her back.
Hugh McHenry was a couple of years younger than his brother Howie. McHenry had named his girls after flowers, and his boys’ names all started with the letter H. It was sometimes confusing to everyone except the McHenrys.
The slender, freckled-faced lad rode his horse straight to the watering tank. It had been a long, fast ride from Spencer, and McHenry had taught his boys to take care of the animals before taking care of themselves. While the horse drank, the three on the porch walked out into the yard. The lad dismounted and snatched off his hat.
“Mornin’, James. Mornin’, Miss Dory.”
“Morning, Hugh. You’ve been riding that horse hard,” James said.
“Yes, sir. My pa said ta get up here fast.”
“Is it Steven?” Dory asked.
“No, ma’am. It’s Mr. Louis.”
“Louis?” Dory and James spoke at the same time.
“Yes’m. Miss Clara, the whor… the woman that works at the Idaho Palace shot him early this mornin’.”
Dory felt the blood drain from her face. “What was he doing at the Palace? I’ve never heard of him spending much time at places like that.”
“Pa said to tell ya that ya ort to come. He’s gut-shot and ain’t goin’ to last long.”
“Hugh.” James held out his hand in a heipecss gesture. “Do you know why she shot him?”
“She told Pa and the marshal that he’d ra… forced her”—the boy’s eyes went to Dory and back to James—“and was chokin’ her when she shot him with a little Derringer.”
“James,” Dory took hold of her brother’s arm. “It must be Milo and not Louis.”
“No, ma’am,” Hugh said. “It’s Mr. Louis, the bald-headed one.”
&nbs
p; “Heavens. This has been such a shock.”
“How is Steven, Hugh?” James asked.
A grin spread over Hugh’s freckled face. “Ma told ’im that if he died on ’er, she’d be so mad she’d not go to his buryin’, so he’s eatin’ now.”
“James, if Louis is dying, we’ve got to go.”
“You don’t have to, Sis. I’ll go.”
“Of course I’ll go. He’s as much my brother as yours.” She turned to Ben, a question in her eyes.
“I’ll go with you, Dory, if James has no objection.”
Dory turned to her brother. “Shouldn’t someone go tell Milo?” she asked.
“He was so drunk last night, he won’t know which end of him is up this morning,” he said with disgust, then turned to Hugh, as if he were still trying to comprehend what had happened. “Louis tried to kill Clara?”
“Pa said he choked her so’s she cain’t hardly talk, but she told him that Mr. Louis went kind’a crazy, didn’t even know who she was when he was doin’ it.”
Dory’s hands flew to her mouth. “It’s hard to believe it of Louis. He’s mean-mouthed, but I don’t remember ever hearing of him hurting anything.”
“I don’t want to leave Wiley here alone until this thing with Milo is settled.” James shot a glance at Ben. “I’ll go tell him, then hitch up the wagon. Sis, get Odette and Jeanmarie ready. Hugh, I’d be obliged if you’d ride on up to the mill and leave word with Tinker about what happened. He’ll tell Milo if he’s sober enough to tell heads from tails.”
“Hugh, I’m sorry. I was so dazed I forgot to introduce you to Mr. Waller.”
“Howdy.”
“Hello, Hugh.” The two shook hands.
“Did you have time to eat before you left this morning?” Dory asked.
“No, ma’am. But I ain’t hungry. Not a-tall.”
“I can’t believe that. Come on in and eat something before you go to the mill.”
“Yes’m.”
CHAPTER
* 27 *
Still in shock over the news Hugh had brought, the group was quiet as they left the homestead a short time later.
Sins of Summer Page 30
