“You look as beautiful as ever, Frankie. I should have brought my gun. I’m going to be beating guys off you with a stick all night.”
I grab his hand and reach up to kiss his cheek.
“Always my protector. What would I do without you?”
“That is something that you will never have to know.”
After helping me into the car, he turns to Jacob.
“Looking good, Jacob. Think you can give me a hand keeping an eye on Frankie tonight? She always seems to find herself in some kind of trouble.”
Jacob chuckles but readily agrees, the traitor. I huff in fake annoyance but turn my head towards the side window so they can’t see me smile. All the princess gowns in all the land mean nothing compared to how these two princes make me feel. I play with my charm bracelet and send up a silent thanks to Joe. I miss him, but I am determined to make him proud.
We make it to the centre in good time and pull up fifteen minutes before the start, but even so, the place is packed. In the main hall, a temporary stage has been erected for tonight’s proceedings. Chairs and tables have been strategically placed around the room, and the small orchestra are almost finished preparing themselves for tonight’s entertainment in the corner. Along the back wall, a large table has been set up to provide guests with information on fostering, adoption and sponsorship, and on how to make donations. Waiting staff ready themselves with trays of champagne and fancy hors d’oeuvres as guests start to trickle in.
A nervous anticipation fills me. I love this place, so I hope tonight is a success. I spot Jan at one of the tables and head over with Jacob whilst Steve checks in with the security staff. Everyone is welcome, but we must watch for overcrowding or the fire marshal will shut us down for the evening. Jan stands and kisses my cheek before giving Jacob a quick squeeze.
“Thank you again for organising this, Frankie. We make a killing every year, and as you know, it makes an enormous difference.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad I can help.”
I look up and spot the twins, Charlotte and Annie, whom I recognise from group sessions, so I say my goodbyes and leave Jacob talking to Jan about how he made it on to the track team, and go say hi. They spot me just before I get there and head straight for me, both giving me a quick hug.
“Hello, girls. I’ve missed seeing your pretty faces. How are you settling in at your new place?”
Charlotte and Annie are thirteen. They lost both their parents in a car accident almost two years ago. They were fostered by a lovely couple that couldn’t have children of their own, and they adored the girls so much that they were now in the first stages of adopting them.
“It was hard to start with, because I hated starting a new school and leaving all my friends, but everything is okay now, as I’ve made like a billion more.”
I chuckle at Charlotte, always the chatty one of the two.
“What about you, Annie?”
“I like it, too. I still miss Mum and Dad, but Carol and Jack are really nice.”
I give them both another squeeze. I might not have had doting parents, but I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.
“Well, I'd better get back and rescue Jacob from Jan. Have a good evening, girls, and come find me before you leave. I need to keep topped up on those hugs.”
Both girls smile at me before returning to Jack and Carol, who wave from their table.
Heading back, I see Malcolm has arrived and is keeping Jan occupied. Jacob catches my eyes and indicates towards the doorway. I turn and see Ryan and Sam, so I head over to welcome them.
“Hi, guys.” Nobody answers, which is odd, but I notice that Caleb is missing. “Where’s Caleb?”
Sam remains stoic and silent, but Ryan lets me know he is running a little late as he is picking a couple of other guests up. Even though he is talking to me, Ryan is throwing off just as much of a back-off vibe as Sam. What the heck is their problem?
“Is everything all right? You both seem a bit angry about something.”
“We are fine. We will see you in there in a bit,” Ryan informs me before turning his back on me.
Wow, I guess I have been dismissed. Damn, if that doesn’t sting.
I hold my head high and steel my spine as I make my way towards the podium. It’s almost time for my speech. Jacob gives me a questioning look, obviously sensing the animosity between the guys and myself, but I just shrug letting him know that I have no idea what’s wrong with them.
The room is filling up quickly and people are taking their seats. Steve makes his way through the crowd, giving me a wink before sitting next to Jacob. That’s my cue. I lift the hem of my dress so that I don’t trip and break my neck, and climb the steps to the stage. Once I’m in place Jan taps her glass, the loud clinking gaining people’s attention and quieting the room. I notice that Sam and Ryan are still standing by the door, but their attention is on me. I offer them a small smile and receive nothing in return. For the first time since I’ve met them, a red flag pops up in my subconscious. For whatever reason, since they came into my life I have always instinctively trusted them. I’ve felt drawn to them and safe even when Caleb lost his cool in his solicitor’s office. I didn’t feel scared. I even understood some of his anger. But for some reason, in this moment, my fight or flight responses seem to be kicking in. I take a deep breath and try to calm the swirling of emotions twisting my stomach.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for coming to the children’s centre's annual bachelor and bachelorette auction.” I gather my thoughts while the guests clap and concentrate on the speech I have prepared. A hush falls over the crowd as I begin talking.
“I have been both lucky and unlucky in this life so far. I have experienced the best of mankind and the worst. I have been held down and hurt by hands that should have nurtured me and made to feel like I am less then who I am. I have lost loved ones and had to fight every day to climb out of the darkness even when it would have been easier to just give up. Even then, I knew that this was not how my story was supposed to end.
"Someone up there looking down on me must have realised that I needed a champion, because they sent me a hero. A hero in dented armour, who had his own scars to bare, and who found his redemption by saving the life of a scared little girl who had nobody else in the world. He showed me what it felt like to be loved. He showed me my worth and kept me safe from the monsters I had come to fear. He taught me to be strong, and when I had no strength left he gave me his. However, the greatest gift he gave me was my family, whom I love and adore with all my heart.”
I blow a kiss and aim it at the table in front of me, where all the people I care about are seated.
“I was privileged to call this wonderful man my husband, and for five beautiful years he was the best husband a girl could ask for before he unfortunately lost his battle to cancer. Blessed or cursed, I’ve experienced the best and the worst, but I will tell you all something now, you have never seen courage until you spend a day with some of the children from this centre. The strength and honour in each of these children is awe-inspiring. They give me hope, they blow me away with their compassion and their ability to love despite the horrors and heartaches some of them have endured. I would repeat my life over and over, dark days included, if it helped just one child. It’s time to pay it forward.”
I catch Jacob's eyes and wink at him.
“Now it’s our turn to be the heroes in someone else’s story. This centre gives them all a safe haven to land in, a voice so that we may listen to their fears, a hand to hold in friendship and a place where they can just be children again. A place where they can be free.”
I stop and gather myself again, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“So dig deep into your pockets and open your hearts. This centre runs on donations. Even a little can help. Stand beside me and support these amazing children. Show them that you recognise the warriors that they are. Thank you.”
I step
off the stage to a huge round of applause passing Jan, who gives me a peck on the cheek and a quick squeeze before she heads up onto the stage to start the auction. I walk straight up to Jacob, who has tears in his eyes, and wrap my arms around him.
“Love you, kiddo,” I whisper.
“Love you, too, Frankie.”
I let go and get hugs from Steve and Mal before I hear someone clapping from directly behind me. I turn around with a smile on my face, figuring it's Caleb or one of the other boys. Caleb’s here alright, but he’s not alone. The clapping is coming from a face I hoped I would never see again.
“Mum,” I manage to whisper.
“Francesca, darling, how nice of you to remember my existence,” she sneers at me.
Caleb, Sam and Ryan freeze solid behind her at her scathing, arctic tone.
“If it wasn’t for these lovely young men,” she points indicating to them, not noticing or caring about the wounds her words are inflicting, “I might never have found you.”
She looks at Jacob standing next to me. “Who’s this? A little young, isn’t he? I thought you liked them older.”
I pull Jacob behind me and feel Steve and Malcolm step up beside me offering Jacob their protection, too. She cackles then, like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever seen. “Now, that’s more like it. One not enough for you anymore, sweetie?”
I flinch at the venomous words and the fact that there is a truth to her statement but freeze when she steps to the side to let someone else into the circle we are standing in.
“Robert.”
The cadence of my voice causes Mal to curse as he realises just who this is. The blood drains from my face as I sway on my feet. A montage of horrific memories, each one worse than the last, flashes through my mind like a fucked-up home movie as bile rushes up my throat. Before I can stop it, I throw up all over Robert's shoes.
“You stupid fucking bitch,” he hisses as he jumps out of the way.
Next thing I know, I find myself up in Mal’s arms, being carried towards the staff-only area, with Jacob right behind us. Over his shoulder I see Steve shove Robert into the waiting arms of security as he herds my mother towards the door. I see Robert turn once he gets to the doorway and smile that smile that I’m all too familiar with, the one that promises retribution. I bury my head in Mal’s shoulder and try to stop myself from falling apart. Jacob opens the door and we follow him down the corridor and into Jan’s office. Mal places me gently down onto the chair and kneels in front of me, holding my hands in his.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I should have realised when she appeared that he wouldn’t be far behind. Jacob, can you grab Frankie a bottle of water, please?”
Jacob leans down and grabs a bottle from the mini fridge and hands it to me as the door opens again, letting in Steve.
“They are gone now, darling. Let’s get you home. Malcolm can fill Jan in for you.”
Steve starts towards me but stops when the door opens once again. Sam and Ryan enter, followed closely by Caleb, each wearing expressions of worry and guilt. I look Sam dead in the eye and watch him flinch. Turning towards Ryan, I notice that he looks like he is pleading with his eyes, pleading with me—for what, I don’t know, and I don’t care anymore.
“Why?” It's barely above a whisper but filled with so much pain that they each freeze to listen to me. “What did I ever do to you? I don’t deserve this. Nobody deserves this. If this is what it’s like to be friends with you then I think I will pass.” I drag in a sharp, painful breath and bite my lip to stop myself from screaming. “You have no idea what you have done, do you?”
Ryan goes to speak as Sam steps forward, but I stand up and take a step away from them, making them stop.
“I was free.”
Despite my best efforts, I can’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I look at Caleb, who is the only one who hasn’t moved a muscle, and watch him gulp.
“He saved my life just so that his son could condemn it. Ironic, huh?”
“Frankie…” His voice sounds tortured, but he has no idea what tortured feels like.
“Stay away from me, all of you. You have already fired your weapons. Your aim was true, no need to stand here and watch me bleed.”
I find myself in the crook of Steve’s arm, his scent helping to keep the approaching monsters at bay.
“Let’s get you home,” he tells me in a soothing voice.
I nod as he leads me past the three men who have ripped my heart to shreds and out towards the exit, calling over his shoulder for Jacob to meet us at the car.
Chapter Fourteen
CALEB
In a million years I never could have anticipated the train wreck that just unfolded in front of us. As soon as Eleanor opened her mouth, I knew we had been tricked. I hadn’t even made it difficult. I just played right into her hands.
All three of us remain frozen in place like we have been carved into some type of archaic tableau, a testament to remind us of the debilitating pain we have inflicted. As the fog clears and I start to give chase, I find my path blocked by Jacob. I take a step back so that I’m not crowding him, as he is shaking like a leaf.
“They hurt her. The husband used her body, her mum used her mind, but you… you guys used her heart. She is the kindest person I know, and despite everything she went through, she gave you her trust… And you three just annihilated it."
“Jacob,” I croak, “I didn’t know.”
“That is not an excuse, Caleb, and you know it.”
He takes a deep breath that does nothing to stop his shaking.
“He would be so ashamed of you.”
His words are like knives through my heart. I feel Sam and Ryan flank me, trying to offer me silent support, but what can they do? Jacob's right.
“You don’t deserve her, none of you do. Just go, please, and if any of you ever felt anything genuine for her, then just leave her alone.”
He turns and runs out the door leaving us with Malcolm.
Before I can even speak, Malcolm’s fist hits me square in the face. Ryan and Sam restrain him as he struggles to hit me again.
“I told you,” he spits at me, “I fucking told you. Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Do you even fucking care?”
He yanks himself free and starts pacing, his pores seeping with agitation and anger.
“When your father contacted me and told me about Frankie I was wary of her motives, too, but he had great instincts, so I agreed to trust his judgement. He sent me to her house under the guise of working for a buyer who specialises in child brides. It took thirty seconds for her mother to sign away her daughter’s life for five hundred thousand pounds, and I was left completely dumbfounded by this cold and callous woman. When Joe asked that I meet Frankie, I was half expecting to find that the apple hadn’t dropped far from the tree, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
"The first day I met Frankie she had a bruised face, a split lip and broken ribs, and yet she still managed to give me a hesitant smile. Your father and I made her relive every horrible thing that had happened to her so that we could keep a record of it. She fought tooth and nail to keep her tears at bay, and I swear she won me over in that instant. Do you know she hugged me goodbye and thanked me for my help even though she felt humiliated and frightened? That bastard tore her up, leaving her with stitches where no child should ever have fucking stitches, and yet her courage shone through like a fucking beacon, blinding and true. I knew exactly where your father was coming from because my protective instincts flared to life, too, and I didn’t even know I had them. But that girl… she had this light about her, an innocence threaded with steel, and despite every knockback she'd had, she still somehow managed to shine, a least until today. Congratulations, boys. I hope you are really fucking happy.”
He storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I sit in the chair that Frankie had been sitting in previously and drag my fingers through my hair, tugging hard, relishing in the self-infl
icted pain.
“I didn’t know,” I repeat like a mantra.
Sam, who hasn’t said a word to me at all tonight, finally speaks but only so he can try and take the blame for something that we know damn fine is all my fault.
“We knew. Not about the abuse, but we knew that the woman that Eleanor described was not our Frankie.”
Ryan and I both look at him ready to dispute his words, but nothing comes out.
“Ryan felt it instinctually from the start, but we ruled it off as lust. I was suspicious of Frankie because nobody can be that perfect, huh? Given what the mother said, I felt vindicated. I was right—she was too good to be true. Why would she be interested in us, right? But then I heard her speech tonight and I knew, I fucking knew, but I was so gobsmacked that I did nothing. I could have stopped you, Caleb, but I froze, so that’s on me.”
“I wouldn’t have listened. I was so convinced that she was the bad guy that I didn’t realise that I was the bad guy all along. It was all there to see, how protective she is of Jacob, how passionate she is about these children or the guys at the soldier centre who are often ignored. She is trying to rewrite her yesterdays and the things that happened to her by changing the lives of everyone else, putting a positive spin on them. She has probably even convinced herself that she had to go through these horrendous things to be able to understand and relate to the people she has helped since. She probably had nobody to protect her until my father came along. He must have had her history wiped so that she had a clean slate. It isn’t lost on me that since we have met her I don’t think I have heard Frankie lie once, not even a little white one, yet I was ready to have her drawn and quartered. Jacob’s right, my dad would have been ashamed. I just couldn’t separate my feelings about him from my feelings about her.”
Rewriting Yesterday Page 9
