by Ryan Attard
“Woman dead,” he said. “Now, we kill others.”
The barrier shifted, and suddenly I was alone.
Gil, Abi and Jack were in the middle of the room, with Lizardmen surrounding them.
Zero grinned and pulled out a fresh scroll. The number of Lizardmen in the room doubled. The newcomers also carried a bigger range of weapons, from swords to crossbows.
She’s dead. They killed her.
I looked at the rest of my family and friends out there, surrounded by an enemy that had killed the second most powerful magic-user on the planet. What chance did they have?
A powerful hand fell on my shoulder.
Amaymon was beside me, his eyes glowing with malice.
“They couldn’t get me out,” he was saying. “I’m too powerful for them. Erik, what do you wanna do? Shall I try busting us out?”
His words seemed to fly over me. I could hear him, but not actually form any coherent thought.
“Erik!” he snapped, shaking me.
“They’re dead,” I muttered. I looked him in the eyes and now the world made sense — horrible, horrifying sense. “They’re gonna die.”
“Not if we help them.”
“We can’t,” I said.
Possibilities ran through my head. We could use our full power, Amaymon and I, but then what? Destroy half the planet? Risk going on a rampage? I spent year holding back Amaymon’s full power.
And what about me? I could feel the powers I kept in check swirling, roiling, beneath my skin, waiting to get out.
Waiting to be unleashed.
A scream erupted. The fight outside had begun. I had to do something.
“Help me,” I pleaded to no one in particular.
Because I knew there was no one who was listening. No one cared.
Except the demon.
Amaymon grabbed me and spun me to face him.
“You remember the promise you made me take? To always make sure you’re in check?” He shook his head. “But not this time. This time I’m doing what is best for you, Erik Ashendale.”
I saw his right hand forming a fist.
“It’s time you wake the fuck up.”
I never saw the punch. He hit me in the stomach, full demonic force, and I felt myself tear in half. His fist crushed bone, muscle, and everything in between until he reached my heart and punched through that as well.
And that was how my familiar killed me.
Chapter 26
This wasn’t the first time I died. At this point, I’d say I was approaching double digits.
Most people have no idea what real death is like. You don’t just leave. There isn’t a switch that just flipped and your ticket’s punched.
Stage one is realizing you died. Your consciousness lingers a little before you’re onto stage two, which I call Happy Nothing.
Stage three… well, I never quite made it to stage three. I guess that’s when the feathery wings or the pitchforks come out.
Right then, I was in the Happy Nothing. It’s pretty self-explanatory. You feel nothing.
And I’m not talking some kind of weird Yoga, meditation crap.
Human beings are wired to worry about something, always. If you have a functioning brain, then you think. And if you think, then there is no true peace. There’s always something to think about, always something pulling you down the rabbit hole.
Happy Nothing takes that away. The morbid irony is no matter how much you try to find peace in your lifetime, it’s only when you die that you actually find it.
There’s a moment when you realize what’s happening, before your consciousness — the part of your brain that made you who you are — dissipates forever.
But for those few seconds… Man, that feeling was amazing.
It’s not time yet, mortal.
The nothingness took shape, becoming a figure that recently began haunting my dreams. I could see him a thousand times, but Samael would never cease to instill in me a primal fear.
Crap-your-pants, say-your-prayers, you-know-it’s-definitely-fucking-over, fear.
It made sense that the angel of death would be here — after all, I was actually dead. If there ever was an appropriate time…
Wait.
I was dead.
Why was I dead?
Time to move forwards, mortal.
His words echoed in my head like a gong, the sound punching me in the gut. It was that physicality that suddenly brought it all back — I remembered everything, down to the very last detail.
“I’m gonna kill that cat.”
My own voice surprised me. I had no voice in the Happy Nothing. I had nothing — hence the damn name.
Only I was no longer in the Happy Nothing. I saw beyond the darkness, beyond Samael, beyond death itself.
The red sky and the red desert, and the big black tree, its roots and vines spidering out.
I landed heavily, burdened by a physical body and the pain that came along with it. I could feel the ache of every muscle. Every time my lungs expanded and contracted it was like lifting a few tons on and off. The arid air hurt my eyes and tears streaked down. My own skeleton felt heavy, like it was made out of lead.
The worst though was my brain. Thoughts upon thoughts, more questions then I could ever answer, and the memories — a torrent of sounds and sights, voices and sensations.
Life itself came rushing back and I wasn’t sure it was welcome.
“You chose me.” Dark Erik was nowhere to be seen but his voice was unmistakable. “Four years ago, when the demoness killed you. You chose me.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Kinda hard to forget when the Mother of Demons gets to second base with you, then beats you in a not-so-fun-way, before summarily executing you.
That was the first time I was properly introduced to Dark Erik and Ashura. That was when my curse power had fully awakened.
That’s when I began accepting who I am — a notion I was not trying to go back on.
“You accepted me and you chose me.” The voice became more solid, like it was being projected from a megaphone directly into my ears.
More memories flooded my brain.
Leviathan. Raphael. The Vensir. The Black Ring Society. The Necronomicon. The Grigori. Greg the Kresnik. The Necromancer. The Lich.
“You chose me, you accepted me, you used me.”
The obsidian trunk rippled. Every branch and root came to life, enveloping me.
“We are one.”
Samael appeared in front of me, along with Dark Erik. I looked at the two of them and realized this was the deadly supernatural version of Deal or No Deal.
Choose one and live. Choose the other and die.
Let’s see the contestants.
“You tried to rescind me,” Dark Erik said. “But now you realize why you need my power. Your power.”
“This is the last time, isn’t it?” I asked. He nodded.
So this was it. Whatever choice I made right now would stick. Choose the angel and die. Choose the… whatever the fuck Dark Erik was, and become-
“Become what exactly?” I asked him.
Dark Erik’s black stone head swivelled. His face was just a shard of obsidian but I could tell he was bemused.
“Me.”
I looked at Samael. “What’s your pitch? Please tell me it’s better than what he got.”
The angel of death flicked the tip of his wings. Not yet.
“So this isn’t really a choice then,” I said.
“You created this scenario,” Dark Erik said. “You brought me to life. You may take that life back. Your options have expired.” He cocked his head again, mirroring an expression I caught myself doing a dozen times. “You know this. Your demon knows this. That is what drove his actions.”
“I told him to do what’s best for me,” I said.
“Which he did,” Dark Erik countered. “Erik Ashendale, you have been responsible for countless deaths due to your negligence and fear. Even your de
ath is your fault. Choose Life. Choose us.”
It was hard to argue with him. I knew it was all my fault. I knew I had the power to act, to potentially save their lives — but I didn’t. I was afraid, plain and simple.
And now that fear cost me.
Us.
Cost us.
I felt something hot and wet on my face. I didn’t realize I was crying but judging from the bleary vision and the itchy eyes, I had started a while ago.
I knew this was the end of Erik. The end of who I was. That was why the angel of death was here. It was my time to go and time for Dark Erik to take the reigns.
I didn’t want to die. But as it turns out that was exactly what had to happen for everyone else to have a chance.
The funny thing about those kind of life-changing realizations is they put everything in perspective. These were my final moments, so I closed my eyes and tried to remember the good times.
But again I was trying to bullshit myself. At that moment, I didn’t need reminiscing — I needed words of courage.
I saw his face, the man I considered my true father.
Tenzin’s goateed face grinned as always and his eyes seemed to twinkle. I remembered what he once told me:
“Courage is action despite fear.”
I opened my eyes again, ready for my final act of courage. I looked directly at Dark Erik.
“We are one.”
Samael’s scythe flashed. The blade beheaded Dark Erik with frightening ease.
I blinked, confused. I was supposed to be the one to die, not him.
Dark Erik burst into ashes that flew towards me. Each obsidian shard, each molecule of ash, bit into my body. The mastodonic tree trunk opened up, vines pushing me towards the gaping maw.
Power coalesced through me.
I opened my eyes to light. A weak light, nothing like that I had experienced in Ashura. The stale air and the trace amounts of magic told me this was the real world.
Instinctively, I looked down. My hands were black claws, my body covered in solidified shadows. I could feel every muscle tensing, every inch of my body like liquid steel.
There was Life and magic all around me.
Amaymon stood next to me, staring. I ignored him. Ahead I could see Gil, Abi and Jack, all ready to fight. No time had passed in the real world since Amaymon killed me.
Good. The time for death was over.
I pushed. The barrier shattered. The Lizardmen sprawled on the ground. Zero hissed in surprise.
My hand wrapped around a familiar object, one that resonated with my magic. Djinn’s blade flared.
“I’m back, bitches.”
Chapter 27
A single step crossed the distance between myself and where my friends and family were currently fighting for their lives. I heard a light pop — I was moving at supersonic speeds. When I stopped every bone in my body jarred. Inertia carried me forwards and I put all my weight behind my fist.
The punch pulverized the Lizardman. Not broken, or shattered — pulverized.
As in, ‘turned to mother-freaking dust’.
The rest of the reptiles screamed. Zero hissed and pulled out more scrolls. I merely grinned, exposing fangs and exhaling a jet of steam from within my mouth.
I thrust my hands out. Shadows jutted along, impaling Lizardmen. I spun out of the way of a spear. An arrow struck my leg, while two more were punching into me.
I never felt them.
Djinn sung in the air as the blade tore through the spear-wielding Lizardman, cleaving him from hip to shoulder. He fell down, clawing at his own severed lower half. I stomped on his head and spun.
My crescent-shaped streak of energy made a noise like a Roman Candle as it blasted into the first archer. He raised his crossbow in defense, but that was about as effective as his earlier attack. The blast broke through the crossbow, sending shrapnel everywhere. The reptile looked as his guts spilled onto the floor and then at the wizard who kicked him in the face.
More arrows bit into me, while I saw some other Lizardmen circling me, readying their melee weapons.
I drew my gun just as an arrow hit my trachea. Shadows swirled, prying out the bolt and instantly healing my wound.
“Who feels lucky?” I asked in a reedy voice.
Magic made the runes on the pistol glow and I fired. The gun buckled like a cannon, shooting a bullet the size of a golf ball. Angry and red, it met the reptile’s head, tore it clean off, and kept going until it knocked down an entire section of the wall behind him.
That made the Lizardmen stop in their tracks.
I brought the weapon to my lips and kissed it.
“Oh, fuck yeah.”
More bullets tore through the Lizardmen as shadows expanded from my body. It was utter chaos as the reptiles ran for their lives.
Nope. Not today.
A tendril of black wrapped around one of them, pulling it towards me. I swung with Djinn, disemboweling it, and threw the remains at the feet of two more. When they stopped, I fired, bullets tearing fist-sized holes in each.
Shadows extended from my person, grabbing onto the opposite wall, and I was slung in that direction. Spinning in the air, I unleashed another azure streak from my short sword, killing two more, and landed on top of a third. I stabbed down — the force of the blow buried Djinn inside the Lizardman, along with my entire wrist. I pulled out, and guts flew.
Three enemies left.
Two came rushing at me, while the third — Zero — prepared a spell. Shadows wrapped around each of the Lizardmen’s neck, throttling them, just as Zero fired a missile of purple energy. Whatever magic it was, I could tell its Necromantic — the missile tore through my shadows, and even burned my flesh.
I stared as the wound began mending and the shadows reformed.
Zero stared at his bag — no scrolls left.
I shot his foot off. He screamed and rolled on the ground. I fired again, same location, claiming another chunk of his leg.
I paused and suddenly turned to face my team.
“Guys, it’s still me,” I told them.
“Erik.” Gil’s voice was more like a statement than a question.
“It’s me,” I repeated. “With some changes.” I turned to look at Zero. “If any of you have a problem with what I’m about to do to this thing right here, there’s the door. Go find reinforcements.”
I tilted my head sideways, watching their reactions. All of them stood next to each other, and no one moved.
Ahead of me, just beyond Zero, lurking in the shadows, stood Samael, leaning on his scythe.
“Gimme a second,” I told him.
His hooded head tilted a fraction of an inch, sending ripples down the rest of the cloak.
Zero began crawling away. A shadowy spear impaled his good leg and dragged him back towards me.
“And where do you think you’re going?” I asked.
I holstered my gun and sword. This was personal, it had to be done by hand. It had to be dirty and ugly.
This was something that had to haunt me forever.
I grabbed his serrated claws and pulled. Zero hissed and screamed as blood spewed from his broken fingers. Shadows entered the wounds, drilling further in beneath the skin and flaying it. I could see the skeleton of his hands now.
I placed the tip of my right hand on his chest. Shadows formed a scalpel around my fingers and I pressed, slowly digging my hand inside him, one agonizing inch at a time.
“I’m not gonna make this quick,” I told him. “Not like you did her.” I clenched my fingers inside him, rending flesh.
“You should have stayed hidden,” I whispered in his ear. “You should have counted your losses and ran.”
Shadows spread from my hand like spiderwebs, tearing out chunks of flesh from around his chest. I willed a thousand tiny tendrils to form hooks, each latching to a speck sized piece of flesh. I raked my hands and pulled, tearing out his entire chest.
Guts began falling.
“Not yet.�
� Shadows held his entrails in place, constricting them in the process. Zero’s eyes rolled upwards.
“Look at me.”
He was still staring upwards.
“Fine.”
I used my hands this time — a thumb in each eye-socket and flick outwards. Two eyeballs hung out for a second before I squished them between my fingers.
From behind me, I heard someone vomit.
The shadows inside him wrapped around the ribs and spine.
“Goodbye, Zero. You managed to finally matter. You did this,” I said, looking at the shadows on my mutated body. “And when I will kill Greede, know that it could only happen because of you.”
Zero never heard me. At at point, he was probably unconscious or dead.
Didn’t matter. Those words weren’t for him.
I pulled his skeleton apart, ripping the bones out. Zero exploded like an over inflated balloon. Guts and blood rained everywhere.
I turned, my eyes locked onto the two corpses strewed haphazardly on the side. Akasha’s eyes were still open.
I killed her killer.
She was still dead.
Every step I took towards her made me more human. My changes receded but never left. Shadows still billowed from my body, like a cloak of black.
But when I knelt next to her, I was human.
Human enough to cry.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered in her ear as I cradled her head. My tears moistened her lips. “I’m so sorry. You deserved better. You deserved someone who loved you back.”
I wiped tears from my eyes. I wanted my vision to be clear, to imprint her face in my mind.
A figure loomed over me. Samael swung his scythe. The blade cut through Jared’s body. His astral form, a perfect spiritual copy, floated up from the body and disappeared within Samael.
“Thank you,” I said.
Anyone else would have screamed as Death came to claim their loved ones. I would have too, were it not for my powers — they made me see what was going on.
Samael was projecting the astral forms. He never showed his work. I guess he wanted to give me one last moment of closure, watching as he escorted a spiritually-alive Akasha to the afterlife.
