And Nolan could hardly wait for these people to go away.
As he rang up the purchase at long last, the bell attached to the door tinkled.
“Uncle Nolan?”
“Here,” he called.
Looking sheepish, Christian appeared between aisles carrying a small white bag. He stepped aside for the customer to pass, then said, “Jason’s dad stopped and bought us burgers and fries. He bought you some, too.”
Realizing he was starved, Nolan signaled to Sara that he was taking a break. Despite the gray, misty day, he carried his lunch outside. Christian trailed him and sat down, too.
“Is Grandpa back yet?”
“No. He seems to know what he’s doing, so I’m not worried about him.”
Squirming just a little, the boy nodded.
“I was starting to worry about you,” Nolan added.
“I’m sorry. We were having fun, and...” Christian gave up, his sidelong glance nervous.
“You thank Jason’s dad?”
He nodded.
Nolan unwrapped the cheeseburger and took a big bite. Damn, that tasted good.
“I told Jason.”
Nolan heard, but it took him a couple seconds to process. Swallowing, he stared at Christian. “About Dana?” And there was an oversimplification of a vastly complex subject, he thought.
Christian nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He was kind of blown away.”
“Weren’t we all,” Nolan said drily.
Christian fidgeted some more. “I guess now I have to tell my other friends. And then everyone will know.”
“I’ll go to the school before your first day to make them aware of what’s going on. For Dana’s sake.” When Christian didn’t respond, Nolan asked gently, “Why now?”
Misery filled Christian’s brown eyes. “I had to do it sometime. And...I felt bad ’cause Jason could have gone with us up Mount Hood if I had told him sooner.”
Guilt over deceiving his friend but not hurting Dana’s feelings?
But Christian continued, “And...you know. I want her to be able to come to my birthday party. And school stuff.”
Her. He still couldn’t say it. Given his own tangle of feelings for Marlee, Nolan understood why.
“You decided when that birthday party will be?” he asked quietly.
“If I’m going to tell everyone—” Christian gave an awkward shrug “—I guess it should be my real birthday.”
Nolan smiled at him. “I’m proud of you.”
Color flooded Christian’s cheeks, and he suddenly jumped to his feet. “There’s Grandpa! I think. Has anyone else rented a kayak today?”
“One couple, who took a double.”
“That must be him.” Christian loped toward the beach, leaving Nolan to gobble his lunch before the next emotional hit.
* * *
DANA’S MOTHER PLOPPED onto the king-size bed in the hotel room, bunched some pillows behind her and stretched out her legs. “Sit. Get comfy. I don’t know when your father will get back from paddling his way to the Pacific Ocean.”
Dana laughed. “I hope he doesn’t get quite that ambitious.”
Humor sparkled in Shari’s eyes. “Oh, well. His absence gives us time to talk.”
“About subjects Dad told you to leave alone?” Dana guessed.
No guilt crossed her mother’s face. “Did we ever tell your father everything we talked about?”
Well, no. And there was a time Dana had been grateful to share secrets with her mother. Today she felt more than a little wary. Her parents were leaving in the morning. Lunch today with just Mom had been fun. She’d believed herself safe from exactly the talk Mom clearly had in mind.
Resigned, Dana dropped her purse on the small round table by the window and chose one of the chairs, in case she needed a quick getaway. “What?”
“I’m your mother.”
Uh-oh. “I know you’re my mother.” Dana rolled her eyes, feeling very teenage. “There’s something you want to say.”
Instead of amusement, she saw worry.
“I suppose,” her mother said slowly, “I’m wondering about Nolan. Your relationship with him.”
Dana went very still. Neither of her parents had ever questioned her about Craig. They’d welcomed him with warmth and had been thrilled when he asked her to marry him. “You don’t like him.”
“How could we not?” Shari said. “He’s been nothing but kind. For Christian, he’s everything a father should be.”
Dana waited.
“It’s just...hasn’t this happened awfully fast?”
“I met him four months ago. I moved to Lookout over two months ago. It’s not like we’ve announced an engagement.” Initially stung, she felt her temper mounting. “We’re...interested. Seeing each other separate from the time I spend with Christian. Is there an appropriate timetable I somehow missed hearing about?”
“I didn’t mean that as criticism.”
“Sure you did.”
“I suppose your father was right and I should have kept my mouth shut,” her mother murmured. “It’s just...”
If it had been anyone else, Dana would have walked out. Even stormed out. “You think I’ve grabbed on to him because he’s convenient.”
Her mother blinked. “Well, no. It’s his motivation that concerns me. You’re Gabriel’s biological mother. There’s no question you’d win in a custody battle.”
“So he’s decided the best way of ensuring he doesn’t lose Christian is to put on a convincing show of being madly in love with me,” she said slowly.
“I love you. I don’t want you hurt. Just...hold on to enough skepticism to be sure, that’s all. Is that so unreasonable for me to ask?”
Her skin felt tight. Dana stood. “I take it you don’t believe there’s any other reason he’d want me. And, yes, I know I’m too thin and sad too often and...and damaged. Thank you for the reminder.”
Looking horrified, her mother pushed herself up. “You know that’s not what I meant!”
“Do I?”
“Aren’t I entitled to worry about you?”
Then where were you the past eleven years? But that wouldn’t be a fair question. She had opened the distance, not her parents.
Dana summoned her dignity. “What you don’t understand is that he carries a lot of pain inside, too. We...match. And that’s all I have to say.”
Ignoring her mother’s pleas, she picked up her purse and left. Outside, she saw her father, wet and sunburned, crossing the parking lot. Instead of going to him, she slipped behind an SUV until she was sure he’d made it to the lobby before hurrying to her car.
During the drive home, she didn’t let herself think.
Not until she was safe in her sanctuary did she allow the hurt to swell or acknowledge the sharp claws of doubt.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THEY ALL WENT out to dinner that night. Ironically, her parents chose the same restaurant where Nolan and Christian had taken Dana her first night in Lookout and insisted on picking up the tab despite Nolan’s good-natured protest.
“You’ve done plenty to make this a memorable visit,” Dad said. “This is a modest thanks.”
Given their early morning flight, the goodbyes were said in the parking lot outside the restaurant. Nolan politely shook hands before stepping away. Dana had the fleeting thought that he looked very alone as he waited for her and Christian. As, of course, he was. He had no one but Christian...and Christian had a big new family.
Her father threw an arm around her son and murmured something in his ear that had him ducking his head but smiling. Her mother squeezed Dana hard.
“I hope you know I said what I did because I love you.”
Vision blurring, Dana nodded. “I love you, too, Mom.”
As they drove away, Christian tipped his head. “Are you crying?”
She sniffed. “Yes.”
“How come? I mean, you didn’t live with them, anyway.”
No—or see them that often. “They’re farther away now,” she tried to explain. “I think—” I’m feeling again, after eleven years of numbness laid atop pain. Not something she wanted to say. “It’ll probably be Christmas before I see them again. That’s a long time.”
Nolan placed a hand on her back that warmed her through her thin cotton cardigan and camisole.
Christian got quiet, which she appreciated.
Before starting the engine, Nolan asked if she’d like to come home with them, but Dana shook her head. “I need to take a long, hot bubble bath and weep a little.” And try to get over being mad at her mother. “Thank God tomorrow is Sunday and I can sleep in,” she said with a sigh.
By Monday she’d be feeling a little ashamed because she was glad her parents were gone. The visit had been wonderful except for the new tension between her and her mother, but it had also been exhausting. And it had taken her away from Nolan.
Dana was annoyed to have let her mother’s suggestion throw her into turmoil. She knew how much Nolan wanted her, and he expressed his gentle awareness and concern for her so often, with touches and words.
Somehow, though, she hadn’t quite succeeded in prying the sharp hook of doubt from her heart.
Time, she told herself. Trust would build. Nolan was too honorable a man to create a huge lie to secure what he wanted.
As she was getting out in front of her house, Christian blurted from the backseat, “You can come to dinner tomorrow night, can’t you? She can, right, Uncle Nolan?”
“She can,” he said, amusement rich in his voice. “Whether she will...”
It was just the note she’d needed. Laughing, she said, “I can and will. Thank you. Shall I bring anything?”
“Nah, I think it’s time to let Christian impress you with his culinary skill.”
“Tacos,” her son said. “My tacos are really good.”
“One of my favorite foods.” Which was true. “Good night.”
The SUV stayed put at the curb until she unlocked her door, flipped on the light just inside and turned back to wave.
Of course, the minute she was alone, she wished she weren’t.
* * *
“YOU WERE RIGHT,” Dana said, smiling at her son across the dinner table. “Your tacos were wonderful.”
Grinning, his cowlick sticking up at the crown of his head, he looked young, a boy instead of a near teenager, Nolan thought, with some regret.
“I guess I should learn to cook something else now, huh?”
She laughed. “That’s a plan. By the time you’re living on your own, you’ll want to have a good, solid repertoire of at least seven meals. Repeating in the same week? Not so good.”
“I’ll eat out.”
“I’d like to think,” Nolan interjected, “that you’ll be eating dorm food for a few years.”
“I bet it’s gross.”
Only half listening, Nolan returned to a worry that stuck like a burr. Late in her parents’ visit, something had changed between Dana and her mother. He’d asked, and she had refused to talk about it, which made him think the quarrel had been about him.
And, damn, that made him feel edgy.
The climb had been good; he hadn’t gotten any odd vibes from Dana’s father. Up to and including goodbye hugs, her mother was all sweetness and light with him, but he didn’t trust it, or her.
He reminded himself of how much Dana had hidden from her parents over the years. They couldn’t be that close. How much would she let her mother’s opinion influence her?
He was being paranoid, Nolan decided. She wasn’t behaving any differently toward him than she had before her parents’ visit. Dana gave every appearance of being relaxed and happy. She and Christian were having a good time, that was all. She should be concentrating on him. That was what this was all about. Nolan and Dana would have time for each other later.
Yeah, when? his cranky side demanded. He hadn’t made love to her for a seemingly endless two weeks. Her parents never did have that romantic dinner out. Instead, Dana and often Christian had spent damn near every evening with them, often without Nolan.
The Hayeses were gone. Things would get back to normal.
“I want to do something different for my birthday party this year,” Christian said out of the blue. “I wish we could go climbing.”
Nolan shook his head. “I can’t accept liability for other people’s kids, not to do something like that. We could go to someplace with an indoor rock-climbing wall, but we’d need to get signed permission from all the parents.” He hesitated. “Are you sure your friends would all enjoy that, anyway? It’s not for everyone.”
Christian screwed up his face. “Ryan would probably hate it. And maybe Eric. He’s kind of clumsy.”
“What about a hike?”
“I want to do something cool!” In an instant, he was sullen, more teenager than little boy. “Different from everyone else.”
“What have your friends done for their birthdays lately?” Dana asked.
“Oh, sometimes, you know, just an arcade and cake. Jason wants to go back to the waterslides. He’s really into that. Dieter’s birthday was in February. His dad got four tickets to see the Trail Blazers play.”
Dana’s brow wrinkled. “Is that basketball?”
“Uh-huh. And once Kieran’s dad took a bunch of us to see the Winterhawks. That’s ice hockey.”
“So...no summer professional sports around here.”
He shook his head. “Except minor-league baseball, and I don’t care about baseball.”
Well, crap. Christian wanted this birthday to be a big deal, maybe because of the reveal of his new identity, maybe just because it was his twelfth. Heck, the increasingly volatile hormones could be blamed for just about everything.
“It’s a long drive, but what if you went to the ocean?” Dana suggested. “Flew kites, I don’t know.” Her voice had petered out at Christian’s obvious lack of enthusiasm.
She’d given Nolan an idea, though. “You know, I’m getting a load of sand delivered.”
The sand on his “beach” was largely washed away over the winter. Having a private beach helped sell his business, so he renewed the sand regularly. It was worth every penny.
“Yeah?” Christian said.
“I could change the delivery date.” Or have another load dumped. “What if you had a sand-sculpture-building party? Not little-kid sandcastles but big, awesome creations. You could divide into teams.”
Christian’s eyes widened. “Remember the picture of the dragon?”
“I do. And the charioteer with two horses.”
“Yeah! You can make a car or a...a...”
“Octopus!” Dana exclaimed. “Or even a castle. I saw a picture of one with an open arch. I don’t know how they do that.”
“I don’t, either,” Nolan said, deciding it was time to scale back the grandiose dreams. “I imagine some of those take days and skill we don’t have, but I’ll bet you and your friends could come up with some good ideas that are doable.”
“But...what if it rains?”
Nolan grinned. “Then we go out for pizza, I’ll hand out tokens for the games, and we’ll come back to the house or to Wind & Waves for cake.”
“July is mostly good weather,” Christian said thoughtfully.
Dana’s breath caught. “July?” she echoed.
“Oh. Yeah. Um...” Cheeks pink, he did some squirming. “Since that’s really my birthday.”
Her eyes held desperate
hope. “But...then everyone...”
Christian swallowed. “I told Jason. And I’m going to tell my other friends. About...you know. You.”
“Really?”
Seeing tears welling in her eyes, Nolan hastily grabbed a clean napkin and handed it to her. “Really,” Nolan said, smiling at her. “We’ll let the school know. Mom.”
Her mouth formed an O. Then she buried her face in the napkin and cried. Christian stared helplessly at her. Nolan pushed back his chair, circled the table and sat next to her so he could pull her forward to lean against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m just...happy!”
Christian looked askance. “That’s happy?”
Nolan found himself chuckling as he stroked her hair. “Yep. Live and learn, kid.”
“But only a girl would do that. And I don’t like girls.”
And suddenly Dana was laughing, too. Feeling his wet shoulder, the vibration of her laughter, the smooth silk of her hair against his cheek, Nolan smiled.
“It won’t be long until you do.” Somehow, he came to be looking at Dana instead of Christian when he finished. “Trust me.”
Her puffy eyes holding his, Dana offered him a shaky smile. Her lips formed near-silent words that were only for him. “I do.”
All Nolan’s anxieties fled.
* * *
DANA FELT LIGHT as air when she went home that evening. Her mother’s worries had been a kind of infection, leaving her feeling as if she had the flu, complete with aches and tiredness. Tonight, looking into Nolan’s eyes, she had let it all go.
Giddiness filled her.
Mom. Christian had told his best friend about her. He intended to tell all of his other friends in time to celebrate his birthday on July 17, which wasn’t very far away.
She loved the sandcastle idea. It felt...magical. The way she felt. This was the first birthday she’d celebrate with him. She wanted it to make up for all the ones she’d missed.
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