by Jules Dixon
Kirby swore under his breath. “Rahl, ever since you returned from that hellhole, you’ve had a short temper. Beating up someone who has been in your life since before you can remember? That isn’t just a new low. That’s completely fucked up.”
I stepped chest to chest with Kirby. He was a thin guy and he had no chance if I went at him, but he didn’t flinch. I respected him for holding his position.
“I told both of you, and I was damn clear, screw one of my sisters and I would rip you apart. He’s fucking lucky I stopped when I did. Otherwise, he’d be dead.”
“You need help, Rahl. I mean it. You need to see someone. A mental health professional, a doctor, a priest? You can’t be mad at the whole world forever.”
“And you need to fuck off!” I yanked the basement door open, slammed it behind me, jumped inside of my truck, and slammed that door, too. I inhaled a couple of deep breaths but there was no calm, only the heightened response that was too familiar, the struggle of fight-or-flight that had become second nature to my body.
No, it’s first nature. You know no other way.
I decided sticking with my original plan to work on the new home was the best bet to bring me from my testosterone-fueled cloud.
It didn’t help.
Chapter Eight
Sage
I vegged Sunday. Seriously did nothing but eat junk food and read the best book ever. Of course, there was a constant smile on my face remembering Rahl’s last kiss. Every time I thought about the moment, my body responded with this internal clenching that was both pleasurable and overwhelming.
Monday was a slow day at work. Monotonous. Lingering. Mostly uncomfortable. Oliver asked too many questions about “my boyfriend.” I left most of them unanswered because the few I did answer only seemed to provoke him further. My repulsion to his unnerving attention told me my feelings for Rahl were getting stronger. Or the attention is causing them to get stronger.
I finally called Presley and set up an appointment to visit the dealership this coming Saturday. The conversation was about the same comfort level as with Oliver, but Presley didn’t ask the invasive relationship questions he had, so slightly less uncomfortable. I would’ve liked to know how far her and Rahl’s relationship went, but asking seemed so reminiscent of high school drama that the question wasn’t worth it.
That night before bed, I texted Rahl and asked how his day was. He texted back, “Fine,” and I decided maybe the Ogre wasn’t a texter. He could be gruff in person, put lack of inflection behind the black-and-white letters of a text, and he could seem pissed-off by typing a simple “Hi.” I chalked it up to learning more about him and left him alone.
I lay in bed and thought about Rahl. The things he didn’t know about me. The things that might be enough to make him not as wowed as he was Saturday night. And wow, was he wowed. I’d never felt a man as wowed. But what he didn’t know was my body had things that made it unique in a slightly sad way. I’d come to appreciate how I was now, but it took me three years to get used to seeing myself in the mirror. Having him gazing at my body might take more time and effort than he was willing to put forth.
I just don’t know.
****
Tuesday started with an off-site meeting with Andi. After she successfully pitched a very impressive and pricey proposal, she bought a celebratory lunch, and we reviewed the rest of the week’s calendar. We finished up plans for a couple of projects, and it was close to four in the afternoon before we exited the restaurant. She waved off my return to the office, telling me I'd put in a long day and I should go home to prepare for the rest of the busy week. I took her up on her offer, but instead I headed to Triple R to spend an hour running off my anxiety about this evening’s date. On my way home I purchased a small round cake from my favorite bakery, a birthday cake for Rahl.
Just before six the intercom buzzed. I pressed the locked entry release button.
I’d gotten all made-up, hair straightened, tight jeans and a nice top, plus wedges that made me about four inches taller—closer to his height, but still workable so I wouldn’t be falling into his arms. Which, if it accidentally happens, doesn’t sound like a bad thing.
The knock at the door had Rahl’s insistence behind it.
I smiled while opening. “Hi, Ra—Oliver?” I narrowed the door opening and stepped into the space.
“Hey, Sage. Sorry to bother you at home. I ran into Andi and she was flipping out. She insisted I run this list of items needed for the O’Leary job to you for when you go to the warehouse tomorrow morning.”
As much as I wanted to believe him, Andi could have e-mailed the document. He probably insisted on making the trip himself. Now, how he got my address was another issue, but I’d let it go for the time being.
“Okay, well, thanks.” I snatched the manila envelope from his hand. “See you tomorrow.” I backed away.
“Since I’m here and you look like a million bucks, you wanna go get a drink?” He leaned against the doorframe like his creepy words and fake casualness would make me jump into his arms.
“No, I have a date with my—”
“Good evening, Sage.” Rahl’s deep voice reverberated through the hallway.
“Hi, Rahl.” I smiled, but when I viewed his face closer, I had to swallow down harsh emotions from viewing his black eye.
No, actually, it’s violet purple, army green, and sterling grey. Not a good combination.
Rahl cleared his throat and Oliver backed from the entry.
“Rahl Vendetti. And you are?”
Oliver winced as he shook Rahl’s offered hand. I assumed Rahl overdid the pressure to make a statement, and I was kind of pleased at the display of manliness.
“Oliver Aston, Sage’s coworker at Sugar Plum Dreams. You must be her—”
I saw it coming and was sure that my words cut him off. “Rahl, we better get going. We have reservations to get to. Thanks for dropping this off, Oliver, appreciate it.” I gave him a polite wave good-bye with the envelope.
“Have a good night, Oliver.” Rahl moved past him to stand beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and placing a soft kiss at my temple.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sage. Good night.”
“Bye, Oliver,” Rahl rumbled and closed the door before I could return a similar sentiment.
“That was rude.” The words exited my mouth without much conviction. I grabbed my leather workbag and placed the envelope inside. “How’d you get up here without a buzz?”
“Mrs. Pinkey was leaving and let me in and I’m damn glad she did. Sage, that guy was a certifiable douche but I’m pretty sure nothing walks away clean from him.”
How does he know Mrs. Pinkey?
I chuckled and walked back to Rahl. “He’s a nobody.”
“A nobody who’d like to get in your pants.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe. But that’s not going to happen.” I circled his waist with my arms and his wrapped around my shoulders. “What’s up with the shiner, Mohammed Ali?”
He shifted in his patent black dress shoes. “Had a little run-in with Easton.”
“You ran into his fist?”
“Yes.”
“How many times did he run into your fist?” I lifted and viewed the multiple broken open knuckles on his right hand and then his left.
Rahl’s silence told me what I needed to know.
“So, reservations?” he said on a yawn, guiding my body back into him.
“No, was just trying to get rid of Oliver.” I sensed him smile but his body almost leaned onto mine. “Rahl, are you okay?”
He yawned again. “Sorry. Haven’t been sleeping well.”
I stepped back and took a closer look at him. The dark circles around his eyes caused the black eye to look even worse, and he was uncharacteristically slouching.
“You’re exhausted,” I said. “Let’s just stay in. I can make food here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. We can go out a
nother night. Now have a seat. I’ll get you a beer and we can watch a movie or just get to know each other.”
I expected more of a fight, but he released my body and shuffled to the sofa. He slipped off his shoes before he sat.
“What?” he asked while I stared.
“You look good on my sofa.”
His teeth sparkled through his smile. “You always look good, Sage.”
My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my eyes stung at his sincere words. I headed into the kitchen. I’d dated a few guys and had one long-term high school boyfriend, but the emotions rolling through me right now surpassed whatever I’d felt for anybody before this man. His hulking handsome looks aside, and despite his grumpy ogre demeanor, I could tell he had a heart the size of Nebraska and was loyal from the tip of his standing-on-end buzz cut down to his size fifteen shoes.
Pretty sad you looked to see the size of his feet.
I pulled a pan of lasagna from the freezer and started the oven, then tagged a beer from the fridge. “Hope you like…”
Rahl was blissfully asleep in the living room.
You look really, really good on my sofa.
I took a long drink from the beer and went into the kitchen to bake the lasagna. I changed into clothes that wouldn’t impress anyone. Comfort won out over fashion for the evening. I tagged a book from my nightstand and plopped into my favorite chair-and-a-half in the living room, snuggling into the overstuffed cushions.
Rahl snored loud enough to make Mrs. Pinkey call the landlord for a noise violation. I didn’t care. The noise was a hundred times sweeter than the silence I usually experienced in the apartment. He could get as loud as he wanted to, each rumble and snort only had me falling faster and deeper for him.
When the timer on my phone buzzed, I pulled the hot lasagna out and cut myself a small piece. Sitting at the small bistro table, which I refurbished myself, I wondered if I should wake him to eat, too. A big guy like that should probably eat regularly, but I decided sleep might be more important at this point. I cleaned the kitchen and licked a little frosting from around the birthday cake before sliding it into the fridge. It’ll keep. Maybe tomorrow.
I read a couple more chapters. It was pretty clear that Rahl wasn’t going to wake up. He’d barely shifted on the sofa. After ten, I decided to go to bed myself. I covered Rahl with a heavy blanket.
With a kiss at his temple, I whispered in his ear, “Happy birthday, you gorgeous ogre.”
A small bumpy exhale was his only reply, but I smiled at the retort because it was so Rahl.
I remembered him saying he worked at five a.m., so I set my alarm for four 4 a.m., hoping that gave him enough time to get going and ready. The unexpected ending to the day had me falling asleep to Rahl’s peaceful snores floating down the hall.
At some point during the night, after midnight but not before my alarm went off, I sat up in bed, awakened by something in my apartment. The garbled and pained cries coiled their way through the darkness and froze my movements. What is that? Animal?
A long bellow pierced the quiet and my feet hit the floor. In the living room, Rahl thrashed around on the sofa, howling incoherently. His body twisted like he was trying to rid it of an evil creature that physically had a hold of him, and his face contorted like the monster was eating him from the inside out. Guttural noises made him sound more creature than human.
“Rahl,” I called softly, but he continued to moan until his breathing became shallow and tightened. “Rahl!” I said louder and he stopped moving.
My heart beat fast as I kneeled on the floor next to him. It might not be safe to be this close to him if he lashed out, but I needed to help him if I could.
“Rahl, are you okay?” I whispered. My shaking fingers trailed down his emotionless face.
His eyes flickered open, the gold sparkles absent. “Are you an angel sent to save me?”
I swallowed my panic and a small whimper of compassion rose from my chest. “If that’s what you need, then I’ll be your angel and I’ll save you, Rahl.” I picked his hand up off his chest and gave it a soft kiss while my other hand brushed over his short dark blond strands and stroked down his neck.
“I’ll save you too, Angel.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed gently.
Tears gathered in my eyes. Nobody had ever said anything as comforting to me. It was almost too much to hear and to feel.
I moved to stand but his arms wrapped around my waist and guided me across his body until my back was up against the cushions of the sofa, trapped, but there was no fear. His warmth comforted me. His desire stimulated me.
“Rahl…” I meant to tell him I was going back to bed, but the words didn’t come out and his name dripped with craving from my lips.
His lusciously full mouth skimmed, then landed firmly cemented to mine. I wound my hands around his neck to pull him closer. This wasn’t like Saturday’s kiss, which in comparison was so tender and gentle, fleeting as if it never happened. No, this kiss was needy and pleading. He asked me to save him in a wordless gesture. I deepened the kiss to let him know I had every intention to be what he needed. Everything he needed.
His body moved to lay over me and I stiffened under him. I hadn’t been with a man since before my medical issues and as much as I wanted to be with him, I didn’t know if I was ready.
You’re not ready.
The kiss ended and his eyes opened. “Angel?”
I cupped his jaw with my hands. “My handsome ogre, let’s just get some sleep tonight.”
With a sleepy nod, he rolled to my side and we looped our arms around each other. In minutes, the sweet lulling rhythm of his slumber had me drifting into my own.
Chapter Nine
Rahl
A buzzing noise filled my head. I opened my eyes to find a female body wrapped around me, almost using my skin as a blanket. I extricated myself from the supple frame and followed the buzzing to her bedroom. I shut off the annoying machine that soundlessly blared 4:07 a.m.
Can’t imagine she gets up at O-four-hundred hours.
I reset the clock for six a.m., hoping that was enough time for her to get ready for work. Stepping quietly past her, I couldn’t help but stare. Somehow she became enveloped in my arms last night. I remembered lying on the sofa, but didn’t remember much of the rest. That was probably the most restful and longest night’s sleep I’d experienced in years. Nine hours? Almost seems impossible.
The morning passed without so much as a yawn and significantly less coffee than the past two mornings. I texted a thank-you to Sage for letting me sleep, and she texted back that she’d slept better than she had in a long time.
Me too, Sage. Me, too.
I was working on a security plan for a new client when my phone buzzed.
Fiona: Happy Belated Birthday! Lunch? Lake has finals, so can’t make it.
Rahl: Thanks. Did you know about Laken and Easton?
Fiona: I had my suspicions but they’re adults, not my business.
Rahl: Bullshit. She’s our baby sister. It’s always our business.
Fiona: Maybe lunch another day.
Nice way to dodge the subject, Fi.
Rahl: Probably a good idea. Have a good day.
Fiona: You too. Love you, Rahl.
I huffed. This wasn’t about not loving her, it was about protecting our sister.
Rahl: Love you, too.
She was right about the “they are adults” comment. However, I couldn’t get over that Easton hadn’t respected my request. I’d asked him not to do what he did. I was very clear four years ago when I came back to Nebraska for a visit before I left for Germany. Lake was almost seventeen and I could see what a beautiful girl she was turning into, and friendly, and happy. It wasn’t hard to see that she would be a gorgeous, special woman, but the fact still stood that I’d told him to treat her like his own sister, hands off and never anything more. Couldn’t help but wonder if the betrayal would damage more than our friendship—it might damage m
y relationship with my sister, too.
I should’ve sucked it up and let Fiona take me to lunch ‘cause my stale bread sandwich was pitiful. I choked down the almost inedible meal, but next to MREs, which are totally inedible packaged military rations, it wasn’t that bad.
Sage had her personal training session with Jude tonight. I hadn’t joined a gym since returning to Omaha. It was time. Plus, seeing Sage dripping with sweat wouldn’t be torture at all.
Looking forward to it.
I headed home, did some cleaning, and answered a call from my mother about why I hadn’t returned her birthday call yesterday.
‘Cause I was never a birthday fan and you know that, Mom, but I should be now.
I walked out of my bedroom ready for Triple R, and Easton sat in the living room. My handiwork was fully evident. His face was a patchwork of muted colors, the same greenish-greys that appear in a stormy sky before hail and wind and torrential downpours. Bad-omen colors.
As I viewed the damage, I didn’t experience remorse, but I did feel something that reminded me of everything he and I’d been through together. Twenty-six years of brotherhood slipping away.
He stood. “Hey, Rahl.”
I ignored him and started down the stairs.
“Rahl, please.”
I stopped on the landing, without looking up at him. “What?”
“Can we talk?”
“I’m on my way to the gym.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, and Laken will probably not be happy with me, but you need to. When you were hurt in Afghanistan, Laken was a mess. She wouldn’t go to class, she almost dropped out, and was in real danger of never doing what she loves to do. She wouldn’t eat. She lost so much weight that she was a shell of herself.” His voice cracked and I glanced up at him. His eyes were glazed but he held my stare. “I went to see her one day and she was barely breathing. I called an ambulance and she spent six days in the hospital, Rahl. I spent every minute by her side. I thought she was trying to die so that if you did the same thousands of miles away, she could be with you.” He cleared his throat and I dropped my eyes to the entry floor.
