by Ross Thomas
When all of his clothes were off, Oppenheimer discovered the small leather bag that hung around his neck. He took that off and opened it and ate one of the diamonds before Jackson could get them away from him. Jackson counted the diamonds. There were twenty-one of them, none less than a carat in size.
“If you’re real good,” Jackson said to the smiling naked Oppenheimer, “I might give you one later for dessert.”
When Ploscaru got back to the hotel, he went immediately up to his room, took four thick sheets of ivory-colored paper with matching envelopes from his suitcase, sat down at the desk, and began to write the invitations. He wrote with an old, broad-nibbed fountain pen and every once in a while would lean back to admire his penmanship. The dwarf had always prided himself on being able to write a beautiful hand.
When the invitations were done, he addressed the four envelopes to Frl. Leah Oppenheimer, Frl. Eva Scheel, Maj. Gilbert Baker-Bates, and Lt. LaFollette Meyer.
Then he went downstairs, shook the sleeping boy awake, and gave him an enormous bribe to deliver the invitations immediately. Once the boy was safely dispatched, Ploscaru roused the desk clerk and reserved a conference room for 8 A.M. When that was done, the dwarf looked at his watch. It was 5:14.
The Sergeant-Major awoke Baker-Bates at 5:33 A.M.
“They found him, sir,” the Sergeant-Major announced in the grimly mournful voice of one trained in the art of bearing bad news.
Baker-Bates groggily sat up in bed. “Who? Found who?”
“Von Staden, sir. Old Yellow-Hair. Found him floating in the river over near Beuel. Drowned, he was, with a nasty bump on his head right about here.” The Sergeant-Major tapped his right temple.
“Christ,” Baker-Bates said.
“Then there’s this, too, sir, just in from London patched through Hamburg. It had Top Priority on it, so I thought I’d better rush it right over after Decode got done.”
Baker-Bates took the envelope, ripped it open, and took out the single, typed flimsy, which read: “Your last report circulated at highest, repeat, highest level. You are hereby instructed, repeat, instructed to offer up to, but not more than, four thousand pounds for undamaged goods if they become available.” It was signed with the last name of the chief of Baker-Bates’s organization.
Baker-Bates swore long and bitterly. The Sergeant-Major looked appropriately sympathetic. “Bad news, sir?”
“I told them not to, damn it. I told them not to try to buy him. But they wouldn’t listen. So now they’re going to try to do it on the cheap. On the bloody, goddamned cheap.”
“Yes, sir,” the Sergeant-Major said. “Then there’s this, too, sir. It’s for that young American Lieutenant. It’s got Top Priority too, sir, but I thought you’d better have a peek at it first.” The Sergeant-Major handed Baker-Bates another typed flimsy.
“You didn’t happen to bring a cup of tea along with all this other bumf, did you, Sergeant?”
“Right here, sir, nice and hot.”
Baker-Bates accepted the tea, took a sip, and began to read the flimsy: “Lt. LaFollette Meyer, c/o Maj. Gilbert Baker-Bates.” After that there was the usual technical gibberish from the sending and receiving units. The message itself read: “R. H. Orr arriving Bonn-Cologne airport from Washington via London 0615 this date ATC flight 359. You will be both briefing and conducting officer.” The message was signed by a four-star American general.
Baker-Bates looked up thoughtfully. “So they’re sending Nanny. That’s interesting.”
“A friend of yours, sir?” the Sergeant asked politely.
Baker-Bates shook his head. “When I knew him, during the war, they called him that—Nanny.”
“Yes, sir. And this is the last bit, sir; it came by messenger. Caught me on my way up.” He handed Baker-Bates the ivory-colored envelope with the fancy handwriting. Baker-Bates ripped it open and began to read. Then he began to swear. He was still swearing when the Sergeant-Major left to find the young American Lieutenant.
Robert Henry Orr was the first and only passenger off the DC-3 at 6:15 that morning. Swaddled in a huge old raccoon coat, his beard bristling, Orr approached Lieutenant Meyer with both hands outstretched.
“So this is the author of all those absolutely brilliant reports we’ve been getting,” Orr said, grabbing Meyer’s right hand in both of his.
“Well, I don’t know how brilliant they’ve been, sir.”
“First-rate, my boy; absolutely first-rate. Is this our car?”
“Yes, sir.”
Orr climbed into the back seat of the Ford sedan, followed by Meyer. The Corporal closed the door, trotted around to the driver’s seat, got in, and drove off.
“From that last report of yours, it seemed that things might be coming to a head,” Orr said.
“Something’s happening.”
“Jackson hasn’t been taking you into his confidence, has he?”
“Not exactly, sir.”
“Well, we didn’t expect that he would. That’s one of the reasons I decided to pop over. What about Baker-Bates? Has he been giving you any trouble?”
“None at all, sir. In fact, he’s been most cooperative.”
“Good. So what’s Jackson up to?”
“I’m not sure, sir. But this came this morning.” He handed Orr the ivory-colored envelope.
“From Jackson?” Orr said.
“No, sir. From the dwarf.”
“Ploscaru?” Orr read the letter enclosed in the envelope and started to chuckle. He looked at Meyer. “Have you read this?”
Meyer nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“You think he’s really going to do it?” he said, still chuckling.
“Nowadays, sir,” Lieutenant Meyer said, “I’ll believe almost anything.”
It was seven o’clock in the morning by the time Leah Oppenheimer returned from her hurried trip to Cologne. The envelope from Ploscaru was waiting for her. After she read it, she immediately went to the hotel room next to hers and knocked. After a few moments the door was opened by Eva Scheel.
“What time is it?”
“A little after seven,” Leah said as she went in.
“You’re already dressed.”
“I have been for hours.”
“Is there anything the matter?”
“There’s this,” Leah said, and gave Eva Scheel the ivory-colored envelope.
Although Eva Scheel already knew what was in the envelope, she pretended to read it “You don’t think it’s some kind of terrible joke?”
Leah Oppenheimer shook her head. “No, I don’t think it’s a joke. Mr. Jackson warned me that something might happen—but I didn’t expect anything like this.”
“You’re going, I suppose.”
Leah Oppenheimer nodded. “Will you go with me?”
“Yes, I’ll go with you,” Eva Scheel said. “Of course I will.”
It was still dark when Bodden awoke, surprised to learn that he wasn’t yet dead. He lay on the steps of the large house quietly for a moment, trying to remember the last thing he had done. The handkerchief. He had fastened the handkerchief over the place where the dwarf had stabbed him. He gingerly moved his hand inside his shirt and touched the handkerchief. It was soaked. It had not stopped the bleeding, but it had helped.
Well, printer, either you can lie here and die, or you can get up. Maybe you can find something inside the house—some bandages. Even a sheet would do, if you’ve got the strength to tear it. He pushed himself slowly up to a sitting position. The pain hit, and he had to gasp. If he hadn’t gasped, he would have screamed. Then the bleeding started again. He could feel the warm wetness as it trickled and flowed down his side.
He found the hoe where he had dropped it and used it to pull himself up. The pain from his knee combined with the pain from the knife’s wound, and he gasped again. It’s only pain, he told himself. You can get over it. Printers can get over anything.
With the aid of the hoe, he shuffled slowly through the still-open door and into th
e house. He turned right and made his way through the sliding doors into the room with the brown and red plush furniture. The kitchen, he thought. What you should do is find the kitchen. As he turned to leave the room, he heard the warm, deep, throaty chuckle. It seemed to come from far away. He looked around and saw the open door that led down into the cellar. He made himself go over to the door. The blood was running down his leg now and into his shoe.
He looked down the stairs. The bottom seemed far away—an impossible distance. Then he heard the chuckle again. It sounded warmer this time. It sounded warm and friendly and uncommonly wise. You need help, printer, he told himself. You’ll have to go down those steps. Down there at the bottom of them is someone who can help you.
He started down the stairs, using the hoe, taking one step at a time. The bleeding became worse, and so did the pain. He almost decided to sit down and rest, but then he heard the chuckle again, even warmer and wiser than before, and it helped him continue down the steps, slowly, until he reached the bottom.
There were several doors, and Bodden opened the first one he came to. The sight of the girl’s disemboweled body almost made him faint. He knew he was going to be sick. He closed the door and vomited. When it was over, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Then he heard the chuckle again.
You always did trust people too readily, he thought. That happy chuckler might be the one who carved up the girl in there. He took the Walther from his pocket and moved toward the door where the chuckle seemed to have come from. Bodden noticed the key in the door’s lock. He turned it and swung the door open. The first thing he saw was Minor Jackson sitting in one corner. Then he saw Oppenheimer.
Bodden nodded at Oppenheimer. “Why doesn’t he have his clothes on?”
“I’m not really sure,” Jackson said. “You’re bleeding, but I suppose you know that.”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“That little dwarf,” Bodden said, “He’s very good with a knife, isn’t he?”
“Very.”
Bodden made his way over to one of the walls and leaned against it. The pistol was aimed at nothing in particular. Oppenheimer played with his toes and chuckled again.
“What happened to him?” Bodden said, staring at Oppenheimer.
“I don’t know,” Jackson said. “I suppose he decided that he just didn’t much care for reality.”
“Is he completely mad?”
“I don’t know about completely, but he’s pretty crazy. Harmless, though, I think.”
Bodden let the pistol drop to his side. He smiled—a wry, sardonic smile. “We were going to take him from you.”
“Who?”
“The woman and I—the Scheel woman. You didn’t know that, did you?”
“No.”
“That was our plan. We were going to let you and the dwarf catch him and then we were going to take him from you. Some plan.”
“And send him East, huh?”
“East? No, we weren’t going to send him East. We were supposed to, but that wasn’t our plan. Her plan, I mean. No, we were going to take him from you and then sell him to the Americans. Not a bad plan, was it?”
“Better than average.”
“You know what I was going to do with the money?”
“What?” Jackson said as he reached over and took the Walther. Bodden seemed neither to notice nor to care.
“I was going to buy a printing shop somewhere. I’m really a damned fine printer.”
He started sliding down the wall. His feet slipped out from under him and he sat down hard, although it didn’t seem to bother him. “The dwarf—he crossed you, didn’t he?”
Jackson nodded.
“I knew he would. Well, things didn’t work out too well for either of us, did they?”
“No,” Jackson said. “They didn’t.”
“Tough shit,” Bodden said in English, and grinned weakly. “I am told that they say that frequently in Cleveland, Ohio. Is it true?”
“Yeah,” Jackson said, “I think they probably say that in Cleveland a lot.”
“A Pole told me that they did.” Bodden’s head dropped until his chin rested on his chest. After a moment, he raised it and looked at Jackson. “The Pole. He was a very funny fellow.”
His chin dropped back down to his chest, his eyes closed, and after a moment or two, he stopped breathing.
33
Leah Oppenheimer still didn’t want to believe that the dwarf who stood on the chair behind the lectern in the Godesberg Hotel conference room was Nicolae Ploscaru. He’s an impostor, she had told herself. Nicolae Ploscaru was no dwarf—he was tall and fair and cruelly handsome. The dwarf had to be an impostor.
She had had to force herself to accept the fact that the dwarf was who he claimed to be. The voice had done it, of course—that low, almost musical baritone with its undercurrent of sexual invitation. It was the same voice that she had heard over the telephone many times. There could be no mistake. It was Nicolae Ploscaru’s voice.
“I regret, my dear,” the dwarf had said after introducing himself, “that things did not work out quite as we had planned.”
Leah Oppenheimer had been able only to nod dumbly and manage one question. “Where is my brother?”
“With Mr. Jackson,” the dwarf had said, smiled, and turned away to nod gravely at Robert Henry Orr and Lieutenant Meyer.
Ten chairs had been set out in the room in two rows of five each. Orr and Meyer sat together, as did Leah Oppenheimer and Eva Scheel. The dwarf, behind the lectern, smiled and looked at his watch.
“We’ll begin, ladies and gentlemen, as soon as our last guest arrives.”
The last guest was Major Baker-Bates, who entered the conference room two minutes later. He nodded sourly at the dwarf and then spotted Eva Scheel sitting next to Leah Oppenheimer. He smiled for the first time that day. Well, Gilbert, he told himself, the morning’s not going to be a total waste after all.
Baker-Bates took the seat next to Eva Scheel’s and smiled at her pleasantly. “The printer coming?” he said.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t understand your question.”
“You understand,” Baker-Bates said. “When this charade is done, you and I will have a chat. A long one.”
The dwarf rapped for order with a water glass. “I think we’ll keep this quite informal, ladies and gentlemen. We are here to auction off a rather interesting item with which all of you are familiar. The terms will be cash, of course, in either American dollars or British pounds. Swiss francs are also quite acceptable. I might add that the item that’s being auctioned off is in excellent condition and will be available one hour after the final bid is made. Are there any questions?”
Orr raised his hand. “How can we be sure that you have the item in question?”
“Faith, my dear sir, faith. In all commerce a certain amount of good faith must be exercised by both parties. I have certain goods for sale which you and others wish to buy. I scarcely would have gone to such elaborate arrangements if I did not intend to deliver. Upon delivery, if you are not entirely satisfied, then you have certain methods of recourse, which I would rather not mention.”
“I’m relieved that you’re aware of them,” Orr said.
“Quite aware.”
Eva Sheel had not been listening to Orr and the dwarf. Instead, her mind raced furiously as she tried to decide her next move. Something must have happened to the printer, she realized. He might even be dead—killed by either the dwarf or Jackson. So the plan must be abandoned. She had Berlin’s $25,000 in her purse. The British Major had somehow connected her with the printer. That meant he knew who and what she was—really was. If she bid on the goods, there was no way that they would let her leave Bonn with them, if hers was the high bid. But still, if she bid, and it was high, then it might be a bargaining chip in her talk with the British Major. She was going to need all the bargaining power that she could muster. She bit her lower lip and decided to bid.
&
nbsp; “Now, ladies and gentlemen,” the dwarf was saying, “I will entertain the first bid. Do I hear five thousand dollars?”
Ploscaru looked around the room. Orr nodded.
The dwarf smiled. “We have five thousand. Do I hear six?”
“Six,” Baker-Bates said.
“Ten thousand dollars,” Orr said.
“The gentleman from the United States bids ten thousand dollars. Do I hear eleven?”
“Eleven thousand,” Leah Oppenheimer said.
The dwarf smiled knowingly. “Eleven thousand from—shall we say—the soon-to-be state of Israel. Do I hear twelve?”
“Twelve,” Baker-Bates said.
“Fourteen,” Orr said promptly.
Baker-Bates did his multiplication. With the pound at $4.03, he decided to bid his limit and get it over with. “Sixteen thousand,” he said. To himself he added, And you can bloody well take it or leave it.
“Eighteen,” Leah Oppenheimer said.
“Twenty thousand,” Orr said.
There was a silence. Ploscaru nodded genially and said, “We have twenty thousand dollars bid, ladies and gentlemen. Do I hear twenty-five?”
The silence continued. “Come, now, ladies and gentlemen, we’re not going to let this valuable item go for a mere twenty thousand, are we? Do I hear twenty-five?”
Eva Scheel drew in her breath, held it, let it out, and said in a low, almost defiant tone, “Twenty-five thousand.”
Leah Oppenheimer turned and stared at her. Eva Scheel refused to meet her gaze. Four chairs away, Lieutenant Meyer looked ill. “Jesus Christ,” he said.
“We have twenty-five thousand from the lady in the fur coat,” Ploscaru said. “You’re representing whom, my dear?”
Eva Scheel said nothing but instead stared straight ahead.
“My word,” the dwarf said, looking with feigned horror at Orr. “Do you think she might be representing our comrades to the east?”
“Thirty thousand,” Orr said quickly.
