“I don’t know about that.” I laugh. “So far, I haven’t been able to produce much of anything. I’m beginning to think we should wake Reeve up for good measure. If anyone can spark my fire, it’s him.”
Papa lets out a low growl, and his head turns back toward Lo and the lingering camp. Lo, bless her, stands with her back toward us now, her head cocked studiously to the treetops as if to give me some privacy as I carry on a one-sided chat with my panther father figure. The thought alone makes me wince, and I wonder if perhaps I should make more effort to practice my own head whispers.
“And you think she’s right?” I sigh. “With all of this talk of magical barriers, I mean. Is that truly what needs to be done to keep us safe?”
Though part of me longs to hear that she is, another small, selfish part longs to hear that she’s crazy. That this is all one big, horrible idea, and together, Papa and I are going to take off through these woods, not caring one little bit about the monsters we may leave behind. Unfortunately, I’m met with his achingly sad eyes, and a question I’m sure has more than one answer.
“Do you remember our conversation about Orien, and why it’s so imperative that you arrive there first?” he asks, settling down and stretching out on the ground beside me.
I give a shaky nod, trying to cover my nerves with a long rake of my hand down his silky back. Of course I remember his ominous words that Knox would fight to destroy me the very second I betrayed him by walking right into Theron’s hands. Though I plan to follow through with Papa’s plans to destroy Knox from within, I can’t help but think I’ll be no safer there than in Theron.
“I understand why I need to go Orien, and I will follow through with our plans. However, I must tell you this. I don’t care how long it takes me, Papa, but I will learn how to reverse your curse. As far as I’m concerned, the fire can wait. It’s you who needs the help, and after that, I’ll see what I can do for everyone else.”
The words leave my mouth with more gusto than I knew I still possessed, but I’m quite sure we won’t find any common ground here. While the only reason I agreed to venture into these woods was to find and help my papa, I now know there are greater things at stake. That the world doesn’t just revolve around a slightly rebellious girl whose love knows no bounds for the one she calls Papa.
“Oh, Brave,” he says, his tone sad. “There are so many more important things to be concerned with. You going to Orien never had anything to do with me. I came to terms with my fate long ago. It’s the fate of others that you should be more concerned about.”
“And who would I care more about than my own papa? Just because my mother has always known all about my world, doesn’t mean I want to know all about hers,” I say, ignoring the selfish tone of my words. “I will do as you ask, but please know I do it in hopes of helping you. If others are helped along the way, then I think we both know I will have accomplished way more than those dastardly stars have ever expected of me.”
At my words, he rises to his feet, pushing his vivid blue eyes before my own. “Do you remember when Aras left you with Reeve?”
“Clearly.” I smirk. “I think any time I’ve spent with Reeve has been unfairly burned into my brain, set to replay at any moment he sees fit. Personally, I think it’s a part of his Theron powers. Another way to torture me with his cousinly blood.”
“Or perhaps you remember it so well because you were hurt by Aras, knowing he didn’t tell you the whole truth,” he responds with a knowing hint.
My lids lower and I watch my hands as they carefully twist into knots within my lap. “Perhaps,” I mutter.
“My Brave, you should know by now that whatever Aras does, he does so for the good of you, or maybe, what he thinks is for the good of you. I have a feeling that if he would have just been honest from the beginning, you wouldn’t have pushed when you needed him near. It’s hard to carry the secrets of others, and perhaps he thought your mother’s journal would answer it better than he ever could.”
“Aras is just a friend who has helped me more than I deserve,” I say, refusing to look back up. “I understand that whoever he had to meet or send a message to was important and obviously none of my business. If he thought it would have helped, then he should have told me, though I’m not sure how his secret dealings have anything to do with me going to Orien.”
At this, he nudges his cool nose against my forehead, urging me to face him once again. “Aras’ secret dealings mean everything because they revolve around the only three people in this world who he cares to protect. Ingrid, Viviana, and most of all, you. You’ve always been a part of his world, Brave, but it’s only now that he can protect you in person, instead of from afar.”
My twisting fingers come to a standstill at his words, my heart pounding on with a race of its own. So Reeve was right. There is someone else in Aras’ life—someone important, yet he never felt the need to mention a word. Instead, he lied to me, and like most things Aras does, I can’t understand why.
“And so he just lied? To do what exactly? Send a message to some girl who waits for him in Orien? Why would he keep that from me?”
“No, Brave. You aren’t listening. It’s not just some girl—”
But whatever words he was about to say end up meaningless, drowned out by the sound of pounding hooves against the dry forest floor. The earth begins to shake beneath us, and my hands dart out to steady us both. Quickly, I stand to my feet, and we take off toward the camp, almost colliding with Lo on the way. Her blue eyes are wide with fear, and I freeze as she grabs on tightly to my forearms, hoping she has some idea of what we should do next.
“It’s him,” she whispers as her gaze shifts over my shoulder and through the trees. “We’re too late. He’s already here.”
“No, we’re not,” Papa growls, drawing my eyes down to my side. “It’s not too late, Brave. While Prince Ian won’t risk hurting you, we already know that his own men will. Build the fire, and I can promise our escape.”
His words bring a round of dampness to my eyes, and I blink away the tears that build not out of hope, but out of pure fear. Fear that we’re all about to be lost to a Theron prince whose only care is that I can protect his land, and right now, I’m afraid that I can’t even do that.
So when the familiar ache begins to build within my heaving chest, gaining strength with each pulse, I’m not the least bit surprised when both Lo and Papa start to back away with a look of panic and mixed awe sketched in their gaze. For I’ve become the switch to light a flame, and there’s no second-guessing what ignites my magic now.
Fear… and lots of it.
“Just tell it what to do, Brave,” Papa whispers as the flames begin to lick across my heated fingers. “Remember that you control it. You will always be its guide, no matter what. Don’t let the fire try to bend your will.”
“Just tell it where to go,” Lo chimes in, splaying her hands out toward the northern end of the camp. “Remember that magic is only as harmful as the one who controls it. Your intentions are good, Brave, and we can’t let those who approach tell you otherwise.”
In response, I step forward, clenching my hands by my sides as they burn with a flame that should melt my skin, but never leaves a mark. Facing the outer ring of the camp, I close my eyes and raise my shaky hands before me. The flame flickers with my movement, like a candle that feels the wind, yet won’t quite go out. If what they say is true, then my magic is nothing without my will. And if it is nothing without my will, then it will never harm a soul unless I deem it so.
“Get out of the camp.” I grimace, fighting against the flame that begs to be unleashed.
Without missing a beat, Lo and Papa bound through the trees to my right, stopping a safe distance away. They turn to watch as if they’re about to witness the becoming of something grand. Magical. But I can’t help but think that perhaps it is only the undoing of my soul.
Here goes nothing, you beastly flame.
And then the latch is released, and pur
e fire burns from my heart.
Forty-Three
Once, when Darcy asked me to help her in the kitchen, I accidently poured the wrong kind of oil into a pan that heated on our stove. The pan’s reaction to the oil was so strong and so quick that I didn’t even have time to cry out for the left eyebrow that was singed from my face. Though I was sure I had nearly died, Darcy simply tsked, complained I had almost caused her heart to stop, and never asked me to help in the kitchen again.
If only she could see me now.
I stand in a bowl of bright orange and muted reds—the pulsing heart of the flame as it burns in a wild, yet orderly ring, perfectly encompassing the small camp before me. It’s as if the image was plucked from my head and beamed into life. The unworldly fire licks against the trees without so much as a scalding mark left in its place.
I hold my fingers in tight fists to my waist, afraid that the fire will continue even after I’ve willed it to stop. Though flames shot forth from their tips not more than mere seconds ago, they sting not with burn, but with numbness, as if I’ve just dunked them in a bucket of ice. These flames keep to their purpose and nothing else. They burn as a barrier to cage Reeve and his men, and the woods around them stay unscathed.
If Reeve and his men are smart, they’ll stay unscathed, too.
Casting one last look in his direction, I move toward the trees where Papa and Lo lay in wait, for once unsure of the fire as I attempt to pass through its flame. Approaching the border, my eyes dart about the distant trees. Though the subtle pulse of the ground stopped the second I lit the first flame, I know this only means that my Theron prince now waits a safe distance away to watch my madness through the trees. I can’t help but wonder what he thinks as he watches his fiery bride approach her wall of flame.
Dear Ashen, I hope I still have both of my eyebrows.
Pausing before the wall, I feel the heat as it licks across my face, not in pain, but in a soft caress, as if this fire were a pet, reaching out to its owner and looking for some sort of reassurance that it has followed my will. It pains me to think of the fire that burns from my father. Where this flame looks for hope, does his flame look for destruction?
“You’ve done well,” I whisper to the fire as it dances before my face in a happy accordance to my words.
I don’t even have to ask as the flames begin to part, a small exit made within its wall. I’m not halfway through before Papa and Lo rush forward, and my pack is shoved into my chest. The pressure alone almost sends me stumbling back into the flames, and blurry dots fill my vision before floating out again.
“Let’s move before prince charming has a chance to notice you’re gone,” Lo whispers, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me through the trees. “The flames hid you well enough, but any well-trained eye could see you moving about within them. It won’t be long until he and his men move in to get a better look. By then, I hope we’ll have at least gained a small lead.”
“I thought you said this would send a message,” I heave as another wave of dots dance across the trees and float to the sky. “That he would understand I won’t be controlled.”
“Oh, it definitely sent that message alright. It just depends on how he’ll interpret it. You never can tell with royalty. Some of them stop when it’s not for their taking, and others just take because they can. I never said I’ve met Prince Ian, so I don’t know what he’ll do. I just said that I heard he was handsome.”
My boot trips against the uneven ground, and I lunge forward, almost falling to my knees. My breaths come in fast spurts, and I hear the frantic buzz of Papa’s whispers as he nudges my side with worry. My eyes pop up, confused as his words no longer make sense to my strained ears, and his dark fur swims in and out of my vision. My mouth moves to open, but suddenly, no words want to come out. Lo reaches down to pull my limp arm over her shoulder, and the weight of my boneless body almost sends us both to the ground.
A twig snaps before us, and all eyes flash up.
“I never imagined that fire could be such a thing of beauty. That somewhere in this world, there would be one who could wield a masterpiece. A blessing out of a curse.” The warm voice slides seamlessly through the tense air, enveloping my being and slowing my heart, when I’m most positive it should do the very opposite. “Who knew that something so magnificent could lie within our fear?”
A young man, not much older than myself, sways before my face—a look of sheer concern clouding his smooth features. Blond hair mixed with a honey hue curls around his forehead, as if the smoky fire I’ve created around us has his locks reaching to the sky in hopes of finding fresh air. His blue tunic screams of cleanliness and all things proper, while my current garb speaks of dirt and all things awful. But he doesn’t seem to notice; not the way my hair spirals out of control around the sweaty soot that clings to my face or the fact that I carry a faint smell of wildness. No, his careful eyes don’t see a thing, but mine see everything.
Slowly, his hand starts to reach out for me, as if of all things, he wants to help. “When Reeve said you’d been found, he swore that you wanted to come of your own accordance, but I’m finding that this display says otherwise.”
Without another thought, my hand reaches for my dagger—the last skilled movement that I make. The blade flashes in the light of the fire, and a fierce sadness falls across his face. I know nothing of this man, but the sight alone is enough to break my heart. Quickly, I drop my stance and the dagger falls from my fingertips onto the forest floor. Lo shifts uncomfortably with the added pressure of my weight, and Papa lets out a low growl. My head tips dangerously to the side, my lids beginning to lower over the last of my milky vision.
“I think I should go,” I say as his hauntingly kind face is washed away with the dark.
ↄ
I awake to the sensation that I’m being carried, rocked back and forth much like a child being put down for the night. It’s calming, this careful touch. Soft, but reassuring all the same. Somewhere in my mind, there’s a thought that registers against the peace; that the only place I’m truly safe is on my own two feet. It’s this feeling that forces the heavy weight of my lids to lift, exposing my eyes to a view that’s just as painful as it is confusing to see.
Gentle arms wrapped in the most luxurious of blue fabrics press carefully against my chest, holding me in place on what seems to be a giant beast as it meanders through the darkening trees. What was once thought to be a welcoming rock now seems rigid and rough, and my head jumps up with a start, causing the dreaded blackness to cloud my vision once more. I fight to scramble back from the beckoning waves, and my shoulders jar as they’re met with the strong weight of a chest from behind. My unbound hands reach out to find purchase, only to bounce back as they rub against coarse, damp fur. There’s a shudder from beneath, followed by a loud whine that echoes through the trees.
“Easy there, Penelope,” the voice whispers from behind, sending a cool flood of tingles down my sweaty neck. “Our horses are docile creatures, but they are easily spooked, particularly when one of their riders spits fire from her veins.”
The sound of my formal name lingers in the air, teasing my ears with its presence. For once, there is no immediate annoyance with its use. Instead, I’m left with a rather pleasant sensation, as if all my first name really needed was for the right person to come along and say it.
Respect it.
Slowly, my head turns against his shoulder as my eyes tip up, and I’m greeted with a quiet smirk resting just above his chin. “Besides, I don’t think your friend here can take many more sudden movements herself.”
The strange words distract me from the perfect curve of his jaw, and my lips turn down, confusion etching across my brow. I have a friend in these woods?
I wish someone had told me that sooner.
Still unsure of his words, my head swivels down and out, causing colorful dots to scatter and rain down from above. I close my eyes as the need to dispel what little water I’ve taken in hits my stomach
with a sickening twist, and my newest captor is treated with a horrendous gag as I toss my sagging head to the side. Swift fingers prod my neck and sweep across my forehead in an achingly tender gesture, and my mouth gathers into an even tighter scowl.
I picture the Theron prince, watching from a safe distance away as his chosen guard tries to keep me atop this beast and not passed out on the forest floor. I stifle a sick laugh at my own expense, causing another cough to rise in my dry throat. Perhaps now he’ll see that I hold more doom than I do hope.
“We’re almost there,” my rider coos as the last of my coughs heave their way from my chest. “You just need rest, that’s all. Some rest and water, and you’ll be back to yourself.”
My lips curve into a sad smile as my head falls back against his chest, somehow resisting the urge to tell him that what I really need can’t be fulfilled with a little sleep. At least not when one’s need requires the beginnings of a whole new life. Though as the man who’s riding me into Theron territory, I can’t help but wonder why my needs matter to him anyway. He’s already taken away my choice, and now I’m not so sure that there is anything left.
Slowly, the massive horse comes to a halt, and the pounding ache in my bones that I thought was from the constant jostle continues despite the calming reprieve. Hesitantly, I open my eyes, surprised when my vision settles in on a small opening jutted up against the rock within a surrounding hill. A soft trickle of water calls to my strained ears through the towering trees, and it takes all I have not to jump off this horse myself rather than listen to the man behind me explain our routine.
“I’ll get down first,” he says, tilting his head into my unraveling hair, “and then I’ll help you.” He quiets, and I can tell he must be gathering the courage or poise to say whatever bossy words he has planned next. Instead, I’m surprised with the tentative nature of his smooth voice as his words whisper next to my ear. “If you need help, that is.”
Look to the Stars (The Orien Trilogy Book 1) Page 31
