by Lucia Grace
I lift the beer to my lips and let the cold brew settle through my veins and rein in my growing erection. Just the sight of Ace in her dress, along with her laughter ringing through the air, is enough to have my dick busting through my slacks in an effort to get to her.
I shift slightly and will my erection away as Kase steps up to the bar and asks for a bottle of water.
Once the bartender hands it to him, he lifts it to his lips and eyes me with a knowing look.
“Why don’t you ask her to dance, man? She didn’t come with anyone.” The fucker smirks as he sets the bottle down. Taunting me. Knowing all too well who I can’t keep my eyes off of.
“Fuck you, bro.” I toss back at him. Glaring at his smug ass. It may be his wedding day, but I’m not afraid to lay his ass out.
And I know Ace didn’t come with anyone. I’ve been eyeing every douche bag that got within a twenty-foot radius of her to make sure none of them were her date.
Although she came alone tonight, it still hasn’t been easy watching her gorgeous body all night, encased in that tight, pale pink, strapless dress she has on. It hasn’t been easy watching every other single asshole that’s here follow her every move either. Staff and guests alike.
I know I’m not good enough for her. And I also know no one else is either. She’s too good, too pure, and beautiful to be tainted by anybody’s bullshit. Especially mine. So even though I can’t have her, I don’t want anyone else having her either.
I catch Kayson eyeing me again out of the corner of my eye. Just realizing that I turned my body toward Ace again to keep my eye on her.
She’s still talking with Ember, but now they are angled toward us. Ember sharing a coy smile with her husband beside me. Ace blushing and attempting to look like she wasn’t looking at me.
When I catch her eye this time, I toss her a smirk, flashing both my dimples, and watch her blush deepen as a small smile lifts her lips. I shake my head and groan.
Those lips.
What I wouldn’t give for just one taste.
“Fuck, man, you’ve got it bad.” Kayson interrupts my thoughts.
I swing my gaze his way to find he’s staring at me.
“Cut the shit, Dame. I see the way you look at her. Hell, we all see the way you look at her. Why don’t you make your move with Tracey?” He throws his hand up to stop my interruption that he sees coming and continues. “I’m not saying to do the standard ‘Dame and Dash’ with her. I’m saying why don’t you actually try with Tracey. She’s a good girl. Smart, pretty, and loyal to a fault.”
I down the rest of my beer and push away from the bar. Trying to ignore the fire that burns through my veins and the demons roaring in my head when Kase brings up Ace and relationship in the same sentence.
He’ll never understand my need to keep my distance from Ace. He’ll never understand why I stick to random one-night stands like it’s my religion. Even with all the darkness he harbors from his past, that darkness pales in comparison to the bullshit that plagues my thoughts. The terrors that haunt me. Day and night.
“Listen. I didn’t meddle in your shit with Ember unless you asked. I’d appreciate it if you offered me the same fucking courtesy.” I take a deep breath before I explode on my best friend. “It’s your wedding night. So why don’t you leave me the fuck alone and go find your wife. Unless you’d rather spend your time with me, big boy?” I attempt to lighten the mood and shift gears. It works.
Kayson snorts at my joke then shoves my shoulder as he laughs. I shake my head and join him. Masking my anger and pain with laughter and charm like I always do.
With that I turn away from Kayson and the smile drops from my face. I ignore the feeling of brown eyes staring into the side of my head as I walk through the dance floor to Ember and Ace still standing by the table. I stop to drop a congratulatory kiss to Ember’s cheek as Kayson’s arms wrap around her from behind.
I ignore Ace the entire time, and as I walk away I feel the sadness rolling off of her in waves. Pushing it from my mind, I keep walking and try to focus on the numbness I’ll feel when I bury myself deep into the redhead that’s waiting for me.
I know it’s a Band-Aid for the heartache I feel whenever I walk away from Ace. I know that as soon I wake up in the morning the emptiness, the self-loathing, and the disgust will consume me yet again. Because it always does. Yet, I repeat the cycle on a loop to keep the demons at bay. To keep from giving in and allowing my evil to drown her goodness.
But as I keep walking away from my first and only love I know, even after I’ve had my fill tonight, that Ace will still infiltrate my mind as soon as I wake up. I know that just like every other time I’ve tried over the years to wash Ace from my mind it’ll never work.
I know that none of it matters.
Because just like the first time I saw her at nine years old, I’m still falling.
The End
Playlist
“Make You Feel My Love” – Glee
“Come Wake Me Up” – Rascal Flatts
“Easy” – Rascal Flatts (feat. Natasha Bedingfield)
“Here Comes Goodbye” – Rascal Flatts
“Love” – Jana Kramer
“A Little Bit Stronger” – Sara Evans
“Better Than You Left Me” – Mickey Guyton
“Burning House” – Cam
“Ride” – Chase Rice (feat. Macy Maloy)
“Whiskey and You” – Chris Stapleton
“Whiskey On My Breath” – Love and Theft
“Hope You Found It Now” – Jason Walker
“Say Something” – A Great Big World (feat. Christina Aguilera)
“Lightning In A Bottle” – Lucy Angel
“I’d Be Lyin’” – Lucy Angel
“I Can’t Not Love You” – Every Avenue
“Hell On My Heart” – A Thousand Horses
“Why” – Jason Aldean
“Like I’m Gonna Lose You” – Meghan Trainor (feat. John Legend)
“Worth It” – Fifth Harmony (feat. Kid Ink)
“Like I Feel It” – Love and Theft
Acknowledgements
To the love of my life, my number one. It isn’t always easy, but nothing worth having ever is. I wouldn’t want to ride this crazy journey called life with anyone else by my side. I love you. The forever and always kind. Love <3
To my family. You may not know about these words in this book, but thank you. Because your love always pushes me on. Always.
Megan, my fabulous editor, with Wild Rose Editing. Thank you for taking me on last minute and for working your magic. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and encouragement. And thank you for helping make my dream become a reality. You made my words and this story shine! I hope this is the first book of many, and I look forward to continuing this journey with you. XO
Ace, my right hand, my extreme beta, my unofficial PA, my girl. This book would not be what it is without you. And I’m not even joking. All the late night and early morning discussions. Your input, advice, and encouragement. Talking me off the ledge. Being my shoulder to cry on. You poured yourself into this book just as much as I did. You know the words inside and out, maybe even better than me! I am forever thankful for words of the indie world bringing us together, because you are by far one of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I am forever grateful for your support and belief in me, but most importantly, I thank you for your friendship. You are the heart and soul of these words because, without you, this wouldn’t have been possible. I love you biggest. <3
Bombshell, what can I say? You’re my inspiration, the backbone of this story. Your strength, courage, and resilience is why I put these words together and decided to write a book. You gave me the strength to do this. You kicked my ass and pushed me hard when I needed it, when this book needed it. You made my words shine brighter with your epic reading skills. And best of all, you loved and laughed with me all along the way. You just get me—crazy and all. I absolutely adore you.
Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for being you, because you is fucking amazing. You give me hope in this mad world. Fuck the oceans. Soul mates and sisters from other misters. I love you. Mostest, baby. <3
My California Dream. The Sam to my Hunt. Your being proud of me, your constant reassurance, and your constant belief in me means more than words could ever describe. Ever. You asked the right questions when I first started. You had me thinking deeper and harder to make each word better than the last. Your pride in me makes my heart soar. So thank you! For believing in me, for loving me, and for being my bestest. You make me better. You’re my kind of crazy! Fuck the land. I love you, BIG MANIES. <3
CC, you have one of the biggest hearts and sweetest souls I’ve ever known. You always lift me up and put a smile on my face with your sass and jokes. This roller coaster ride hasn’t been easy, but having you by my side is one of the brightest spots of this journey. You keep me laughing and guessing, babe. I can always count on you! Your encouragement for me to go forth and write carries these words on. Thank you! I love you. Stay sassy, my friend, and keep dishing out the badgering because we both know I need it. <3
LB, you kicked this book’s ass! Thank you! You scoured each page, each detail, and each word. You gave ideas and feedback when I needed it most. You dropped everything in a moment’s notice to read through a scene or chapter to talk me down and reassure me I could do this. You encouraged me, you supported me, you helped me. You made me and this book better with your honesty and insight. You’ll never know how much that means to me. Or how much you mean to me. I love you, love bug!
Jersey! Girl, what would I do without you? The laughs, the tears, the love. We’ve shared it all and more. Our friendship means more than you could ever know. I love our chats about books and hotties ;) You support me, you push me, you help me. And for all of that, I love you so hard. <3
Rach, you sparked my drive to get these words down. You told me that one day they would come to me and when they did, to write. You believed in me from the start—even before one word was penned. Thank you for that. Thank you for the support, for being there for me, and for believing in my dream. You’re one of my truest and dearest friends, and I love you completely.
Chlo, I could never thank you enough for your enthusiasm for my words. Or for Kayson ;) It melts my heart that you love this book, and him, as much as you do. Even more than that though is your support and love for me, not just as an author, but as a friend, too. You encouraged me and brought me back up when I was down. You made me believe in myself when I didn’t think I had it in me. You gave advice to live by, and I think about it everyday. I’m so thankful that the words of your book brought us together because you have become one of my greatest friends, distance be damned. I love you, chickie! Thank you for everything!
Tillie, thank you. Just thank you for being you and for believing in me. You and your books are one of the biggest reasons why I fell in love with words. Whether reading or writing them. You gave me guidance and support in the beginning when I needed it most. And you gave me more courage to follow my dreams than you’ll ever know. I love you to bits.
Babycakes, I thank my lucky stars everyday that this indie world brought us together. That I finally opened my eyes and read your books because your words gave me you. And you’ll never know how thankful I am for your friendship. Your belief in me is unwavering, and for that I’m more thankful than you could ever know. Your advice, help, and support gave these words life when I wanted to scrap it all. You talked me down more times than I can count and made me believe in myself all over again. Your insight helped me grow as an author and as a person. But more than all of that, you just get me. We can laugh together and we can cry together and there’s never any judgment. Just acceptance and love. We’re cut from the same cloth, sweets. Kindred spirits. You melt my heart. I love you MORE, babycakes! #yeswayjose
Eshia Baby, you match my kind of crazy and I love it! You bring me laughs. You give me encouragement and belief in myself and in these words. Each message of advice or encouragement or critique helped make this story better than before. You help me shine. And you even tolerate all of my stickers. LOL. I am forever grateful to you and to have you in my life. Our friendship means more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for all you do and all you are. I love you, sugar.
Buttercup, you make me believe. You lift me up and you just make me believe this is all possible. Thank you for the countless talks. Thank you for understanding me without judgment. Thank you for sharing in my hopes and dreams. And for those amazing teasers! We share the same heart, the same soul, the same spirit. You’re fabulous, and I hope you never doubt it. I love you.
Crys, you never doubted me. Not once. Even when I doubted myself. You believed in me from day one when I told you about this book and you’ll never know how much that means to me. Your support and advice helped push me forward. And your pep talks hold me together. Thank you for coming along on this journey with me. I love you, lady!
And finally, to every single person who reads these words, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I appreciate you taking a chance on me and this story. Kayson and Ember hold a very dear place in my heart, and I hope you’ll love them as deeply as I do.
About the Author
Lucia Grace is an avid reader and a romantic at heart. Her love for reading is what sparked her determination to put pen to paper for her debut novel. When she isn’t getting lost between the pages of her favorite books, she can be found spending time with her family and furbabies.
Coming Soon
Still Falling
Falling Series Book #2
