The answer is simple. I do hate him. I hate him for kicking me out. I hate him for not asking me about those pictures. I hate him for not trusting me. I hate him for missing out on Ava. I hate him for not being there for Ava. I hate him for sending me divorce papers when we promised to be together forever no matter what. I hate him for so many things. The problem is…..I also love him. He gave me the best part of my life……Ava. And for that, I will forever be grateful to him.
“What makes you think I don’t hate you?” I ask.
“That one’s easy. You are here, right now letting me spend time with a daughter I don’t deserve.”
“All of that may be true, but she deserves to have you,” I say simply.
“He’s dangerous,” he says, looking into my eyes. I don’t have to ask who he’s talking about. Whatever Trent said to him, scared him.
“What did he say?” I ask, walking over to sit beside him. He grabs my hand tight before he starts talking. I don’t know if he thinks I’ll need it or if he needs it, but I don’t have the sense to move it back right now. He takes a deep breath.
“He said that he would continue to be the only father Ava would ever have and if you two weren’t on his doorstep tomorrow, I would regret it,” he says. I never imagined Trent could be so scary. He has been nothing but kind to me for the past five years.
“I don’t know what to do. That is not the Trent I know,” I whisper.
“I know I have no right to make any demands, but Maya, I don’t want Ava anywhere near him. I don’t really want you near him either.” I knew this would happen. I knew one day Jaxon would want to meet her and I knew Trent would be an issue. I just never imagined I would have more trust in Jaxon than in Trent when it happened.
“I know. I don’t know what will happen if I don’t go back home. He really does love Ava. He would never hurt her,” I say. Jaxon takes a deep breath. I’m sure he wants to tell me off right now, but he’s not, which is strange. “I should go get Ava. We need to go find a hotel room tonight.”
“You’re staying with me,” he says sternly.
“That’s not a good idea,” I whisper.
“I don’t care. There is no way you two are not staying with me after he has threatened you. I don’t trust him and I will keep Ava safe. You two can I have my bed, I’ll take the couch. Please, Maya, I need this tonight,” he says.
“Okay,” I whisper, because after the day I have had, there’s nowhere else I could ever feel safer. We stand up and walk back inside. Ava is now asleep with two sleeping babies in her lap. Cindy is up taking pictures of the three of them.
“Maybe she should spend every night at my house. She knows how to get those two to sleep,” Callie says from the couch.
“I need to get her to bed. Thank you for supper,” I say to Cindy.
“You know you are welcome here anytime,” Cindy says coming over to give me a big hug. She finally lets me go and I notice that Jaxon has already gotten Ava in his arms.
“You can follow me home,” he says, turning to tell everyone bye. I nod my head and follow him out the door.
Jaxon
It’s really strange having Maya back in our house. I’m glad she didn’t fight me about staying here tonight. After everything that has happened today, I don’t think I could have made it tonight without her and Ava with me. She didn’t say a word when she walked inside the house. She walked straight into the bedroom we used to share and hasn’t come out yet. I’m assuming she’s mad at me and is tired of talking. Collin called on the way here and said he would stay at mom and dad’s tonight so we could have some more time to talk. I am so thankful for my family, especially today.
“She didn’t even wake up when I changed her clothes,” Maya says, coming up behind me. “Thanks for letting us stay here.” All I can do is look at her and nod my head.
I don’t remember ever being so uncomfortable in any situation in my life. Maya was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I threw her away like she meant nothing to me over something that never even happened. If only I go back five years ago. All I want to do is apologize to her, but I know she is probably tired of me saying that to her. All I really want to do is change the past.
I walk over to the couch and sit down. Maya follows me and sits on the other end of the couch.
“When is Ava’s birthday?” I ask, making Maya smile.
“September second,” she says. “She weighed 6 pounds, four ounces and she was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on.”
“Of course she is, just like her mother,” I say.
“Don’t,” Maya says. I look up at her and see the tears. “Just don’t.” And here it comes. I knew it would. What woman wouldn’t hate the man who turned her away alone and pregnant. I hate me right now.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I will never forgive myself for not being there for you,” I say quietly.
“I wasn’t alone,” she replies, reminding me of my once best friend, Trent. “How did he do it?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. How do you take pictures like that of someone without them knowing it? “But I will find out.” She takes a deep breath.
“I need to go back to Atlanta. Can Ava stay with you?” she asks suddenly. “I don’t think he would hurt her, but I don’t want to confuse her right now. I don’t know what I am going to do, but I need to talk to Trent, alone,” she says. I hadn’t even thought about what would happen now. I don’t know if I will be able to let her take Ava away from me now. Does she still want to live in Atlanta?
“Ava can stay as long as you need her to, but I don’t want you to go see him alone, Maya,” I say. She shakes her head.
“It’s not your decision. He would never hurt me. I’ll go in the morning, meet with him, take care of some stuff and head back Monday. It will be fine,” she says.
“I don’t like it,” I say.
“Like I said, not your decision,” she says. “I have never left Ava overnight. I don’t know how that will go. Are you sure you are up to it. I can take her with me and leave her with someone while I talk to him. I just thought you might want to get to know her some more,” she says, knowing I can’t turn that down and she is going to get her way about going by herself.
“How about I go with the both of you and we can leave Ava and both of us can go see Trent?” I ask, knowing she isn’t going to be okay with that either. She shakes her head immediately.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but Ava loves Trent. He means the world to her. If she knows we are home, she is going to want to see him. I’m not ready for that to happen right now. You are the only person I trust to leave her with right now.” I nod my head because I don’t trust my voice right now.
I scoot down beside her and put my arm around her and watch her shake her head at me. “I should fix this mess, not you. It’s my fault you have to deal with all of this and it’s my fault you have had to put up with him the past five years. Please let me go deal with him,” I plead, hoping she agrees with me.
“No,” she whispers. “I need to go check on Ava.” She tries to stand up, but I grab her hand and pull back down to the couch beside me. Only she misses the couch and ends up on my lap.
“Talk to me. We need to figure this out. I want you safe,” I whisper.
“Now you want me safe. What about five years ago. You didn’t seem to care about my safety then. You actually threw my stuff outside and changed the locks with no explanation. I was scared and pregnant and you were……. I hate you,” she sobs.
“I know,” I whisper, moving my hand through her hair. “I know. I know princess.” Before I can stop myself or think, I slam my lips to hers. I know she’s pissed and deserves to be, but instead of pushing me away, she grabs my shirt and pulls me closer, kissing me even harder. I can feel her tears on my cheeks. While I can still think straight, I stop kissing her to pull her head back and look into her eyes. She shakes her head and buries her face in my
neck, still crying.
“You promised me forever and you sent me divorce papers,” she whispers between sobs.
“You never signed them,” I remind her. “You’re still my wife and if I don’t want you to go see Trent, you shouldn’t.” She actually laughs.
“You lost your marital rights a long time ago,” she says, pulling herself off of me to try and stand up. I grab her waist tighter, pulling her back to my lap, and put my hand back behind her neck. I bring her lips back to mine, but I don’t kiss her. I can feel her breath and I can see the hurt in her eyes. And once again, I wish I could go back in time and change everything.
She puts both of her hands on my chest. I think she is going to push me away from her when suddenly her mouth is on mine again. Only this time there are no sobs, only moans. I know this is a bad idea, but I am really having a hard time being a gentleman right now. She moves her hands up and runs them through my hair.
“This is a really bad idea,” I whisper. She sits up and looks at me with a blank face. Then the tears start flowing once again.
“Hey, don’t cry. I don’t want to do anything you are going to regret tomorrow. Besides, you just told me I lost my marital rights and you hate me,” I say with a smirk.
“I do hate you, but I also miss you. Just one night, please. Can we just forget about everything and pretend it’s five years ago. Please, I need you,” she whispers. I stare into her eyes, trying to figure out what she’s really thinking.
She moves her hands back down my stomach and reaches for the bottom of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head. “Please,” she whispers.
I know I shouldn’t, but the only woman I have ever loved just admitted to missing me when she should hate me more than anything in this world.
In this moment I understand how she’s feeling and there is nothing more I need than her.
I wake up by myself on the couch and look around.
“Rough night?” Collin asks from the chair.
“Something like that. Where’s Maya and Ava?” I ask, looking around for any sign she ran out on me. I see her purse by the door, so I calm down a little.
“Outside playing with the dog. You should really name him. When I told Ava his name was dog, she wasn’t very impressed,” he smirks. I should probably let her name him.
“How long have you been here?” I ask, hoping he didn’t see anything. Where did Maya sleep? How long was I out of it? I must be tired.
“A few minutes. Mom sent breakfast. Maya passed on it, Ava ate a biscuit. Yours is over there if you ever decide to get up.”
“Thanks, but I’m not very hungry.”
“Hey,” Maya says coming inside. She can’t even make eye contact with me. Last night should not have happened. “Can you sit out here with Ava for a second?” she asks Collin. “I need to talk to Jaxon without her hearing it, please.”
“I would love to,” Collin says, looking from me to Maya. He walks outside and she comes in and sits in the chair he just left.
“Did you sleep okay?” I ask. Maya nods and gives me a small smile.
“After you started snoring, I went and got in bed with Ava. I was afraid she would wake up and come looking for me, so….”
“About last night,” I start to say when she interrupts me.
“Please don’t apologize for it,” she says quickly. “It happened, it’s over. I should probably be sorry, but I’m not. If you regret it, please just don’t tell me. I can’t take it, not today,” she says surprising me. “I told Ava I had to go somewhere and I would be back tomorrow and she could spend the day with you. She actually seems excited about that. Are you sure you are okay with her being here?”
“Of course I am okay with her being here. But I would really feel more comfortable going with you. I don’t want you going to see him by yourself.”
“I know and I’m sorry, but I have to do this by myself. Keep your phone with you. I’ve never left Ava this long and will probably drive you crazy calling to check on her.” I nod my head.
I stand up and walk over to her and pull her up from the chair. Then I just give her a hug. “Please call me if he says or does anything to scare you or hurt you,” I whisper in her ear. Her grip tightens on me before letting me go.
“I’ll be fine. Just keep Ava safe,” she says. I know I should go with her, but I also know there is a chance he will show up here demanding her and Ava. I would rather be here to take care of Ava if that happens. I just have to trust Maya in believing he would never hurt her.
“Are you sure this is safe? I don’t like this, especially after him threatening you and me yesterday?” I ask. I know she doesn’t need to go, but I have no idea how to make her stay here. And I have to keep Ava safe. I owe her this much.
“I’m sure, he would never hurt me. He is just scared of losing Ava. I’ll be fine, but I need to get on the road,” she says, walking back outside. I follow her and as soon as Ava sees me she runs and jumps into my arms.
“Hey baby girl, I see you met dog,” I say. She nods her head at me.
“My mommy says I can stay with you today. Can we go see the horses again?” she asks.
“We sure can. It’s your day. We can do anything you want to do today,” I say, knowing this little girl already has me wrapped around her finger, just like her mom.
“Ava, be good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Maya says walking over to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Before she can walk away I grab her and pull her into my side.
“Be careful. Call me if he does anything,” I whisper in her ear before giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. She nods her head and I watch her walk away from me, hoping this isn’t a mistake.
Maya
I can’t believe I just left my daughter with Jaxon. I really wanted to take him up on his offer to come with me, but there is no way I’m bringing Ava into this not knowing what Trent is capable of, and there is no one else I would leave her with for this long. I can’t believe he had those pictures of us. How could he have gotten them?
I decide to go home first before I go to Trent’s house. I need to pack a few more things and I need to figure out what I’m going to do. I love it here in Atlanta, it’s been our home for the last five years and I have a great business that I don’t want to give up either, but there is no way I can trust Trent right now. I need to find out the truth about how much he knew about all of this.
I pack up most of our clothes and some of Ava’s toys. Stuff that I know I will want with me no matter what happens. After getting the car loaded, I go by the studio and see how many appointments I have scheduled for this week. I call Jenn, my assistant at the studio to tell her I am going on vacation and see if she can take the appointments for me. She agrees and tells me to have a good vacation and she will see me when I get back, whenever that will be.
I pull into Trent’s driveway and see his truck is still in the driveway, so that’s a good sign. At least he’s not near Ava. I take a deep breath and get out of the car. I walk up the sidewalk and knock on the door, something that I realize I have never done before. We have never had a romantic relationship of any kind, he’s always been more of a good friend, but right now it doesn’t feel right just walking in his door.
He opens the door looking like he hasn’t slept in a week. He doesn’t say anything, just opens the door wide and lets me in. As soon as I am in the door, he grabs me and pulls me into a huge hug.
“I’m so sorry about last night. I would never hurt you or Ava, you know that. I just don’t want to lose you,” he says, sounding sincere. I nod my head at him and walk inside to sit down.
“Why did you send those pictures? How did you get them?” I ask him.
“I didn’t send him any pictures. I don’t know where they came from. I always assumed they were fake,” he says.
“So you knew about them, how?” I ask.
He takes a deep breath and looks me straight in the eyes. “Jaxon came by my house and started punching me. He said he had seen the pictures
and he would kill me if I came near you again. I had no idea what pictures he was talking about and he didn’t tell me. A couple of hours later, Margo stopped by. She helped me clean up and I told her what had happened. She told me about the pictures. You know she and Molly were friends and she said the whole family was upset about them. I know they are all very good at their jobs, so I figured they would be able to figure out very quickly that they were fake. I guess I was wrong,” he says.
“Why didn’t you tell me about them? You knew I had no idea why he kicked me out. How could you let me feel like he just didn’t want me anymore?”
“I always thought you knew about them. I figured you told him they weren’t real and that’s what you were talking about. You didn’t understand why he didn’t believe you,” he says calmly. “After you sent the pictures of Ava and he didn’t respond, I knew I had made the right decision about not pressing the matter. He didn’t deserve either of you if he didn’t want her after seeing her.”
“But he never looked at those pictures. He didn’t know about her until yesterday,” I say.
“And you believe him so easily,” Trent says, sounding angry. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you about this. I’m just glad you came home. We will figure the rest out later. Let’s go get Ava and I’ll take the two of you out for a good meal. I’m assuming she’s at the studio with Jenn,” he says, sounding sure of himself. Why would he think that?
“Why would you think she’s at the studio with Jenn?” I ask suspiciously.
“I don’t think that, I know that, because I know you better than anyone. First you went home, and then you went to the studio to drop Ava off with Jenn so you and I could talk without her here. I know you, Maya. And I have missed you baby,” he says, walking over to me to kiss my forehead. How could he know exactly where all I have been?
Forgiving You: A Switched Series Novella (The Switched Series Book 3) Page 5
