Jenny's War

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by Dickinson, Margaret


  They sat and ate their picnic in the sheltered hollow in the dunes but Louisa was still hiccuping sadly as they packed up and carried her back to the car.

  ‘Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea,’ Georgie said worriedly. ‘I didn’t think it would upset her.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Charlotte said. ‘Even at Lou-Lou’s age, you have to learn that life has its ups and downs. If she never knows anything worse than seeing her sand-castle washed away by the sea, she’ll be a very lucky little girl.’

  ‘Yes, but she’s so little to start having to learn about life’s disappointments,’ Georgie murmured, his eyes still anxious.

  ‘Never too young, Georgie dear,’ Charlotte said softly. ‘She’ll have forgotten all about it by the time we get home and the next time we build one for her we’ll teach her how to have fun jumping on it herself before the tide can reach it.’

  And indeed, by the time they reached the manor, Louisa was fast asleep against Georgie’s shoulder.

  But as it turned out, there were to be no more sandcastle-building expeditions for the moment. The very next day, Georgie received a letter telling him to report for a medical.

  ‘You haven’t got to go back, have you?’ Jenny was trembling with fear and Charlotte looked anxious. ‘They can’t make you, can they? You’re wounded. Besides, it’ll soon be over, won’t it?’

  ‘I’m still in the RAF. I won’t be flying any more.’ Jenny was shocked by the look of sadness on his face. She couldn’t understand why he would even want to when all she could think of was keeping him safely at home with all of them. And away from Cassandra. Her heart sank at the thought. Perhaps that was why he wanted to go back, so that he’d be nearer her. Maybe he’d even be on the same station as Cassandra. ‘But they’ll probably find me a desk job somewhere or train me to work in the control tower on an airfield. They sometimes do that with crocked-up pilots.’

  Jenny’s voice rose a pitch as she said, ‘But – but they bomb airfields, don’t they? You’ll be in danger.’

  Georgie put his arm around her and drew her to him. ‘Look, Jen, I’ve only been at home because I’m recovering. I always knew I’d have to go back as soon as they said I was fit enough.’

  ‘But you’re not fit enough. You’re still limping.’

  Georgie grinned ruefully. ‘I’ll probably always have a limp, Jen. I don’t think that’s ever going to get quite better.’

  Jenny stuck her chin out stubbornly. ‘Then when you go for this medical, limp more.’

  Georgie laughed. ‘I can’t do that, Jen. I’m no shirker. Besides, it’s high time I went back and did something useful.’

  Before she could stop herself, the words burst from her mouth. ‘You’re going to be with her, aren’t you?’

  For a moment Georgie frowned, then, as understanding dawned, he looked incredibly sad. ‘Oh, Jen,’ he whispered, touching her hair gently, ‘don’t you like Cassandra?’

  She stared at him for a long moment before saying harshly, ‘No, I don’t. And she doesn’t like me.’

  ‘Oh, Jen, I’m sure—’

  But she didn’t stay to listen to any more. She turned away from him. ‘I’ve got to go. Charlotte’s taking me into Lynthorpe to buy me some new clothes. I’ve an interview with the headmaster of the grammar school tomorrow.’

  ‘Jen, don’t go like that – ’ he called after her, but Jenny hurried away. She didn’t want him to see the tears that were already streaming down her face.

  Fifty-Five

  Both Charlotte and Felix Kerr had been as good as their word. Jenny had hoped that Charlotte would encourage her to draw and paint again and would offer guidance, but she hadn’t expected Felix to take such a keen interest. He was a frequent visitor to the manor and always arrived laden with presents for all of them and usually he brought painting materials or art books for Jenny. ‘When this wretched war is finished, you shall come to London and I’ll take you round all the galleries,’ he offered. ‘Would you like that?’

  Jenny hesitated.

  ‘We’ll both come – if we may,’ Charlotte said at once, sensitive to how Jenny must be feeling about the city just now. The bombing must have left her with bad memories and the trauma of her home life was obviously still fresh in the girl’s mind.

  ‘Of course, of course.’ Felix spread his arms wide. ‘Miles too. We’ll make a special occasion of it. It’ll be something to look forward to.’

  Georgie, keen to get back into some sort of active service, was declared fit enough to undertake a sedentary occupation. ‘I’ve been posted to Scampton.’

  ‘Where’s that?’ Jenny asked with a belligerent note in her tone.

  Miles and Charlotte were already smiling as Georgie explained, ‘About forty-five miles away.’

  Jenny’s heart lifted. He’d be able to get home often – if he wanted to. But she couldn’t stop herself asking, ‘Is she there?’

  ‘No, Cassandra is on an airfield in the south of England – the station where I flew from. That’s how I met her.’

  ‘So – why aren’t you going back there?’

  ‘Because I can’t fly any more.’ They could all hear the disappointment in his voice that had more to do with not being able to fly than with his girlfriend. Yet not one of them could sympathize with his feelings; they wanted him safe.

  ‘But,’ Georgie was saying, ‘there’s a vacancy for some sort of desk job at Scampton so that’s where I’m going.’

  ‘Do you know what you’ll be doing?’ Miles asked. ‘Will you need training?’

  ‘They haven’t said. I’d hoped to be in the control tower, but I think those jobs are usually taken by Waafs.’

  More girls! Jenny thought with anguish. She bit her lip, but in that moment she realized she was being rather childish about the whole business of Cassandra – and any other girl he might meet. She couldn’t really expect him to wait until she grew up. He was nine years older than she was. Georgie was a handsome young man who was obviously going to have girlfriends. But there and then Jenny decided – quite deliberately – that she must act in a more adult manner. She must try to get him to begin to see her as a grown-up, not as some silly schoolgirl, who still pouted and stamped her foot when things didn’t suit her.

  So she smiled bravely and gave him a swift hug. ‘So you’ll be able to get home often.’

  ‘Of course. I’m going to get a motorbike. It’ll use a lot less petrol than a car and it’ll mean I can get down to see Cassandra.’

  Jenny felt a physical pain in her chest and she turned and ran from the room. The vow to be more grown-up hadn’t lasted many minutes.

  Charlotte, sensitive to the girl’s feelings for Georgie, watched her go with troubled eyes.

  Later, she found Jenny in the studio. She sat down in front of her own easel near the window and regarded the painting she was working on with a critical eye. Without looking round, Charlotte said softly, ‘If I tell you something, Jenny, you won’t say anything to anyone else, will you?’

  Jenny glanced up at her, but Charlotte was still looking at her own painting.

  ‘No,’ the girl said quietly and added a little bitterly, ‘I’m good at keeping secrets.’

  ‘It’s just that – I don’t like Cassandra very much either.’

  The thought that she’d been right made Jenny smile a little smugly. ‘I thought so.’

  Now Charlotte turned round to look at her. ‘Did you? Oh dear! Was it obvious?’

  ‘Not to her,’ Jenny said with wisdom beyond her years. Though she didn’t realize it yet, she was already quite adult in a lot of ways. It was only where Georgie was concerned that jealousy made her childish. ‘Only to people who know you well.’

  ‘So – you think Georgie might have noticed?’ Now Charlotte was worried and Jenny considered her question carefully.

  ‘I don’t think he’s noticed it yet,’ she said slowly, ‘but—’

  ‘If I let it show next time she comes, he might?’

  ‘Well, I
could see it and he’s known you an awful lot longer than I have.’

  ‘Mm.’ Charlotte was thoughtful and then she sighed. ‘Oh dear, what fools we women are, Jen. I just want the best for Georgie and I don’t think she’s right for him.’

  ‘Neither do I,’ Jenny said at once and feeling safe in this little room with only Charlotte to hear, she added, ‘There’s only one person who ought to marry Georgie and that’s me.’

  Once the words were said, she couldn’t take them back and she waited, holding her breath, fully expecting Charlotte to laugh or even be angry at her audacity. But Charlotte got up and crossed the room to her, kneeling down and putting her arms around her. ‘Oh Jen,’ she whispered as the young girl buried her head against Charlotte’s neck.

  They threw a party on Georgie’s last night, which happily coincided with Ben coming home on leave and also with another of Felix’s frequent visits. Ben hadn’t altered except that he seemed taller. Perhaps it was all the military training that made him carry himself more erect.

  ‘So you’re going to be one of the “chairborne” now,’ he teased Georgie, slapping him on the back. It was a jovial term used in the RAF for those who didn’t fly but who sat at a desk. ‘Thank goodness for that. At least we’ll know you’re comparatively safe.’

  ‘Why “comparatively”?’ Jenny asked, sitting down at the dinner table next to Georgie and across the table from Ben and Felix. Miles and Charlotte sat at either end of the long dining table. Jenny was determined to be very grown-up tonight. Charlotte had helped her to wash her hair and it now hung in waves and curls to her shoulders. And she was wearing a pretty dress, which Charlotte had bought for her.

  Ben glanced at Georgie before saying quietly, ‘Because the enemy try to bomb airfields and it’s a bomber station where Georgie is going. So it’s what they call a prime target.’

  Jenny nodded. ‘Like London. They tried to demoralize us, but they reckoned without us cockneys. We don’t give in that easy.’

  ‘How was it when you went back?’ Ben asked quietly, sensing that Jenny could handle talking about it now.

  ‘We always went to the shelters or to the nearest underground sometimes. That was the best place.’ She grinned. ‘We’d share food and sing songs and the kids would play, then we’d all settle down on the platforms to sleep.’ Then her face clouded. ‘But I wasn’t there long.’ She glanced up at Miles. ‘We did a moonlight – thanks to Uncle Arthur.’ She didn’t know how much Ben had been told, but she rather thought he would have heard about it. There didn’t seem to be any secrets within the Thornton family. But they might not, of course, have told Felix.

  Miles cleared his throat and seemed to speak directly to Felix. ‘Jenny spent some time in Derbyshire and that’s why we couldn’t find her when we went to London to tell her that we’d heard Georgie was safe.’

  ‘I remember.’ Felix nodded.

  ‘So it wasn’t until she got back there recently that one of their neighbours told her we’d been looking for her.’ Miles reached across the corner of the table and put his hand over Jenny’s. ‘And so here she is back safe and sound with us.’

  How neatly Miles had turned the conversation away from the traumas Jenny had suffered and yet had managed to give a plausible explanation to their friend. As long as Felix didn’t ask awkward questions about her time in Derbyshire, but it seemed he was content and turned the conversation instead to Charlotte’s painting and then, once more, to thoughts of Jenny’s future. The art world was his life and he never tired of talking about it. And Jenny never tired of hearing about it. She was even beginning to hope that it was a world in which, one day, she might have a part.

  ‘So,’ he asked her, ‘how did you get on in your interview with the headmaster?’

  Jenny grimaced. ‘I’ve got to sit some exams.’

  Miles took up the story. ‘But he did say that if Jenny can reach the required standard in the examinations he’s going to set her, then she can be admitted and take the School Certificate at the end of the summer term. He also said that because teachers, and the education authorities too, are well aware of how the war has disrupted children’s education, they are keen to be helpful whenever possible.’

  ‘Really.’ Felix beamed. ‘How wonderful. And . . . ?’

  Miles chuckled. ‘The headmaster and the art master looked at the paintings Jenny has done since she’s been back with us.’

  ‘And . . . ?’ Felix prompted again.

  ‘They say she shows remarkable talent.’

  ‘Ah, what sensible people. We know that, but I always fear that others aren’t going to be blessed with our perception.’ Everyone around the table laughed. ‘So – what’s next?’

  ‘One of the teachers from the school has agreed to tutor Jenny in the evenings and at weekends. He’ll set work for her to do each day and—’

  ‘But she must leave time for her art.’

  ‘Of course.’ Miles inclined his head in agreement. ‘Everyone realizes that is of paramount importance.’

  ‘The teacher, Mr Lomax,’ Charlotte explained, ‘is a committed young man but he was very distressed when he failed his medical for the armed forces at the beginning of the war. He says this is a way he feels he can “do his bit”.’

  ‘I’d’ve thought he was already doing it by continuing as a teacher,’ Felix spread his hands, ‘but I’m hardly going to argue with him if he’s going to help Jenny.’

  ‘We’ll make sure he has everything he needs and I shall fetch him from Lynthorpe each day.’ Miles laughed. ‘Though it might have to be in the pony and trap. The only thing that bothers me is that he’s refusing to take any payment for tutoring Jenny.’

  ‘Don’t press him any more, Miles, if that’s the way he feels,’ Charlotte said softly. ‘He might begin to feel insulted.’

  ‘No, no, I won’t.’

  ‘And I’ll work ever so hard to repay him,’ Jenny promised. ‘To repay all of you.’

  ‘You being here is all we want.’

  ‘But if I get to college then – then I’d be going away again, wouldn’t I?’

  ‘Yes, but that would be very different. You’d always come back here. Or at least we’d hope you would.’

  Jenny nodded vigorously.

  ‘Would you really like to go to art college, Jen?’ Georgie asked.

  ‘I think so. Can you become an art teacher in a school, then?’

  Felix laughed. ‘So you don’t want to become a famous artist with your pictures hanging in every gallery in the land or the rich and famous clamouring for you to paint their portrait?’

  ‘It’d be nice, but I don’t think I’ll be good enough.’

  ‘Don’t underestimate yourself, my dear. You have a natural talent that we all’ – he glanced round the table to include all the Thornton family – ‘intend to see is nurtured and brought to its full potential. There’s just one thing,’ he added, wagging his finger at her and pretending to be serious though she could see his eyes were twinkling. ‘I shall do everything I can to prevent you running off and getting married and having hordes of babies.’

  ‘Now that’s a little hard, Felix,’ Georgie laughed. ‘Jenny’s a pretty girl and Father and Charlotte will have young men queuing halfway down the driveway when she’s a little older.’

  Round the table everyone laughed, but it was not cruel laughter, just the gentle sort of teasing that goes on within a real family. Even Jenny joined in, though she knew she was blushing and so avoided catching Charlotte’s eye.

  Fifty-Six

  ‘Hitler’s committed suicide.’ Miles rushed into the dining room on the first day of May waving the newspaper. ‘It’ll all be over now.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Charlotte hardly dared to believe it. ‘Won’t there be someone to take his place?’

  ‘Oh they might try, but the Russians are already in Berlin and the Americans will be there any day if they’re not already. I think the war in Europe will be over in a matter of days, though defeating Japan mi
ght take a little longer.’

  Miles was right and on 7 May, General Montgomery, along with other high-ranking officials, accepted the Germans’ surrender.

  ‘It’s over. It’s really over.’ Charlotte cried tears of joy. ‘The boys will be coming home for good.’

  With the morning post came more exciting news.

  ‘Where’s Jenny?’ Miles emerged from his study waving a letter.

  ‘She’s just playing with Lou-Lou in the nursery before she settles down to her lessons. Why?’

  ‘Right, let’s go and find her.’

  Charlotte’s heart lurched, but she could tell from Miles’s face that it was not bad news. ‘What is it?’

  ‘You’ll see in a minute,’ he promised as he led the way upstairs.

  Miles flung open the nursery door with a flourish. Jenny and Louisa, kneeling in front of the doll’s house, looked up, startled.

  ‘Jen, I’ve had a letter from your headmaster.’

  Jenny got up slowly, looking anxious, but she saw that Miles was smiling.

  ‘He’s written to say that he’s very pleased with your progress and that if you do well in your School Certificate examinations, there’ll be a place in the sixth form for you if you want it.’

  ‘If I want it?’ Jenny laughed with relief. For one dreadful moment she’d thought she was going to be asked to leave the school where she’d settled in so well and was loving every minute. ‘What a silly question!’

  ‘You could probably go to art school sooner, but Charlotte and I feel that you’d do much better to go to school for another two years first and study for your Higher Certificate. How do you feel about that?’

  Jenny’s face fell. ‘But I won’t be earning anything, I won’t be able to—’

  Miles waved her worries aside. ‘You’re our daughter now – or as good as – and it’s what we’d do for any of our children.’ Miles had asked his solicitor about the legalities surrounding Jenny living with them permanently. Word came back that Dot had agreed to the arrangement – a little too readily, in Miles’s opinion, yet he was grateful that she had done so. Now he continued happily, ‘What we have done for the boys and what we’ll one day do for Lou-Lou. So, what do you say? Shall I write and tell him you’d like to stay on another two years?’

 

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