by T. I. Lowe
Dillon rubs my knee and asks, “Why don’t you take these pants off and get more comfortable?”
“Both of us without pants on would probably be a bit dangerous,” I whisper as I continue kissing and holding him. I’ve missed every inch of him, and there are definitely more inches to love now.
“No doubt about it,” he says as he finishes the last sandwich.
I glance at the clock and am shocked. It’s two in the morning. We totally missed supper, and I realize I’m in need of a shower, too. “I need to wash.”
“Okay, let’s go shower.” He stands up and places his plate in the sink.
“Me, first. Alone,” I say with him grinning at me. I stand eyeing the bathroom door, then him, then the front door, hesitant on being apart from him.
Dillon picks up on my apprehension too, so he stretches back over my bed. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs as he watches me.
Tonight, maybe not. I go grab a quick shower and slip into a pair of night pants and a tank top. When I reemerge, Dillon is sound asleep. I stand at the edge of the bed and watch him until the sky turns gray with a new day. I know he won’t be here long. I’m scared to blink.
“Stop staring at me and get back in this bed,” he says full of sleep, as he pulls me on the bed and snuggles into me.
We sleep for a few hours, until my stomach wakes us both with its gurgling. Dillon fishes out his fancy Blackberry phone. He punches in some long message before snuggling back down.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whisper as I lay on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he mumbles as he’s about to doze back off.
“Why are you here?”
He lets out a long sigh and tightens his grip around my waist. “I got business here to take care of before the tour begins.”
I think he’s about to go back to sleep, so I nudge him in the side.
“I bought mom a house in California. I need to get her moved out there this week.” His words sink in. I don’t know why I thought he would make this place his home base. It hurts more than I want it to that he’s not.
A little while later, there’s a knock on the door. Dillon climbs out of bed and pulls a suitcase, his guitar, and some grocery bags to the kitchen. He then goes back to the door. This time he brings in a tray with two coffees and a white bakery bag. He hands me a coffee and the bag before climbing back in beside me.
“How’d this get here?” I ask him as I peek in the bag. My mouth waters when I fish out a Bavarian cream donut. I take a big bite and moan at the sweet goodness. This isn’t grocery store grub. This is the real deal and it melts in my mouth.
“My assistant grabbed it up for us.”
“Your assistant?” I ask before taking a sip of the gourmet coffee.
“Yep. His name is Ben, and he takes care of all my stuff for me.” He shrugs his shoulder before digging into the donuts.
I laugh. “You are getting spoiled.”
“Tell me about it,” he says as he sniffs himself, brushing off my joke with one of his own. “I need a shower.” He swipes another donut, gives me a sugary kiss, and heads to the bathroom.
I enjoy another donut and finish up my coffee before I pad over to the small kitchen to check out what is in the bags. They are filled with all of our favorites. Or more so Dillon’s than mine. I guess there were a few other items he’s been missing. There’s a jar of Dukes mayo, thick sliced bologna, spicy pork rinds, another tub of pimento cheese, double-stuffed moon pies, RC colas, and a couple loaves of bread. I laugh as I put the groceries away as I imagine some Californian guy named Ben, picking out all this southern junk for Dillon.
I’ve just got done making the bed when Dillon reemerges with only a towel around his narrow waist. He so lean and masculine, it takes my breath. He grabs up his suitcase and walks back in the bathroom, as I stare at him until the door closes. He’s back out moments later, with his mohawk freshly spiked and wearing only a pair of distressed jeans, with his broad, nicely-defined chest on full display.
I perch on the edge of the bed, watching him move around in my small space. I’m still hoping I’m not dreaming. I discreetly pinch my arm and feel the sharp sting, so maybe I am awake. His phone is going off, so he pauses to check it out. He punches at the keys rapidly before placing it on the nightstand. Dillon looks over at me and smiles as he catches me openly checking him out. Before I can decide to be embarrassed, he eases over and kisses me like it’s our first time.
“Play me a song, Mr. Guitar Man,” I whisper against his lips.
Without hesitation, Dillon pulls the case on the bed and fishes out his electric-blue guitar. He starts strumming the melody of “My Jewel,” his promise of a song, and hums a few beats before he begins adding the lyrics. This song is number one on the charts right now. It’s my favorite, and I realize immediately he has changed the lyrics.
My Jewel
My life
I want you now
I want you always
Be mine now
Be my tomorrow
I’m not whole without you
Marry me now and let’s start our tomorrow
He stops playing and places his guitar back in the case and returns with a ring box in his hands. He sings softly, I need you completely, as he opens the dainty box, showing me an elegant emerald and diamond ring.
Always be my Jewel
Today and forever
He picks up my left hand, kissing it before placing the ring on my finger. All the while, he continues humming his promise of a song to me. A song that has bonded us together all these years. He stops humming and waits.
“Yes,” I whisper, causing him to pull me up in his lap and kiss me with abandon.
I pull away from him after a spell and run my hands along the bare sides of his heads. “Only if you grow your hair back,” I say seriously, making him laugh.
“Blame this hair on Max.” Dillon smirks as he runs his hand through it. “I woke up one night last week with the punk buzzing the side of my head with his clippers, with all the jerks rooting him on. It was either go bald or the mohawk.” He shrugs his shoulder as to say, what can I do? “Max doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll be starting the tour with neon-green hair,” he says, confidently. “Enough about that. This is our moment. I’ll grow my hair back out if that’s what my fiancée wants,” he says with his deep-blue eyes sparkling. He nuzzles into my neck and croons, “My Jewel,” before he begins singing our song to me again, in delicate whispers in my ear. Him holding me and serenading, I’m definitely in my happy place.
We hibernate in the bed for the remainder of the day. Dillon seems totally wiped out. He said they’ve been working around the clock to get ready for the upcoming tour. So I spend most of the day either watching him sleep or watching him do some business on his phone. It rings several times, but he refuses to answer any of them. He keeps sending texts, letting the person know what they need answered. I love that he’s not sharing this time with anyone but me.
The sun is setting now as he types something else in his phone. I’m stretched out beside him, admiring my gorgeous ring. It’s not too flashy but definitely makes a statement. A nice-sized square emerald surrounded by sparkly diamonds and set in a platinum gold band, it fits perfectly. I absolutely love that it’s not a traditional diamond solitaire. Of course, my man would come up with something unique to us.
Once he’s done, he says, “Everything is set,” before turning towards me. His vibrant purplish-blue eyes are sparkling and his dimples are on full display. I love him so much it makes me feel weepy. I thought maybe it was just the whole teenage first love feelings we had, but now he’s back and those feelings have never left me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dillon Bleu is my soul mate. I skim my fingertips over those dimples that have been such a sweet spot in my life for as long as I can remember. All of the good memories of my young life include this man, and I can only dr
eam there will be so many more.
He turns his head and kisses the palm of my hand before scooping me in his arms. He whispers, “I need you completely, Jewels. Will you be with me completely?” His voice is strained with his emotions.
I whisper a yes against his lips, making him crush me in his embrace. He lays me back down, hovering over me. “I’m serious, Jillian,” he says, not using my nickname. I know he’s serious. He pulls something else out of his guitar case and places it on the bed beside us. That’s when I completely understand what he desires. Nervous as I am in this moment, there’s no way I can refuse this man anything. If this is what he really wants, then I absolutely want it too.
“Yes,” I whisper again.
Chapter Eleven
Morning light filters in our small cabin, as we hold each other tight. It’s our last private day being cocooned away together, and I’m reluctant to let it go. I want this man all to myself and to never share him again. Last night was amazing, and I want to revel in it for as long as I can.
I’m kissing along Dillon’s neck, when there’s a knock on the door. He kisses me once more before climbing out of the bed, wrapping a blanket around his waist. He cracks the door slightly, exchanging a few hushed words before pulling another coffee tray and white bag in with him. He closes the door and heads back over. This delivery system of his is pretty handy.
“We’ve got to get the lead out soon, pretty girl,” he says as he hands over a coffee.
“I’ve got to square a few things away and go beg Aunt Evie to let me go.”
He hands me a muffin and quickly devours one himself. “No worries. She’s a smart woman. She had to have known it was coming. You’re a grown woman.” Dillon winks as he starts rummaging his bag for clothes. “A mighty fine woman.”
“She’s going to kill me.” The reality is setting in that my life will rapidly become anew as soon as I walk through those ordinary doors later today and into something extraordinary.
Dillon drops the outfit he just fished out of his bag and crawls back on the bed with me. He kisses me until I forget my worries. Leaving me breathless, he disappears to shower. I continue to lay here while listening to him sing in the bathroom.
I’m not ready to face this new life yet. Yes, I’m scared. What will Aunt Evie do without me? Sure, we’ve got great staff now, but I don’t want her stressing over it. On the nightstand, Dillon’s phone dings to alert another incoming message. His phone never quietens, I’m learning quickly. I reach over to check it. Dude—Mom loaded up—bus ready to roll out.
I finally get up and start packing a bag. Dillon assured me that we can make a trip back in a few weeks to gather the rest of my stuff, so I’m just packing clothes and toiletries for the first leg of the tour. He promised to buy me whatever I may need along the way. I’m holding him to that one, because I really don’t have much in the way of clothes except the jeans and T-shirts I wear daily as my work uniform.
I’m tossing shirts in the suitcase when Dillon eases behind me and laces his arms around my waist. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear.
He smells beyond incredible, so I turn around and take a deep inhale of his neck. “Mmm…I love you too.”
“You got to get that fine butt of yours in gear, babe.” He pats me on the part in question before releasing me. He pulls a beanie out of his suitcase and pulls it over his unruly hairdo. When he looks back at me, his eyes seem to be glowing with excitement. He is so breathtaking in a mere grey thermal shirt and dark jeans. He could wear a brown burlap sack and still be mouthwatering.
I finally find my voice after staring. “I know. You got a text saying it’s time to pull out. I can’t believe you’ve been here for three days and I’ve not seen the twins yet.”
“I ordered them to leave us alone. The group hasn’t changed much. The twins are still too bony and too much trouble. You’ve got plenty of time to catch up,” he says as he zips up his own suitcase. “I’m going to load my stuff and be back for yours in a little while.” After giving me one more kiss, he is out the door. “You’ve made me the happiest man in this world, Jewels,” he says before closing the door. I smile as I look out the window and watch him saunter away.
A few minutes later, I have the suitcase and a travel bag packed and placed on the porch, waiting to be picked up. I’ve just made my way back in when there’s a knock on the door. I hurry back over, thinking I’m to greet who I’m guessing to be Ben, retrieving my bag. I’m a bit shocked to see Cora instead. The look on her face makes me instantly worried. It’s not a look of happiness. She’s finally freed of this place, but seems upset instead.
“Is it time to go?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.
She just stands there, chewing on whatever she’s about to spit out, and now my stomach is beginning to hurt with dread.
“Just say it, Cora.” I believe in ripping Band-Aids off in one quick snatch and not drawing out the inevitable.
“You need to stay here,” she says as her features seem remorseful, but not quite. “He’s just getting his start. Now’s not the time to introduce a girlfriend.”
I hold up my hand with the engagement ring. “I’m more than that and you know it.”
She eyes it and then shakes her head. “Dillon needs a good chance. He deserves better…” She pauses. “He deserves better than this place.”
“I know this.” I agree he absolutely does. This is the only thing she and I have ever seen eye to eye on. Dillon Bleu deserves the world and more. I watch her cautiously as she still stands at the door, not entering. Good. She doesn’t plan on staying long.
“Do you love him, Jillian? I mean, really love him?” she asks. She’s talking down to me like I’m a child. She’s always done this, but now it’s really rubbing me wrong.
“More than anything,” I reply as the first few tears of anger and hurt slide down my face. I should have known better…
“Then let him go.”
I feel as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. Bile rises in my throat. “But…”
Cora looks me dead in the eyes without any hesitation. “He deserves better than this,” she says as she motions around towards the trailer park.
And suddenly I get it. I hear it hidden in her words. She’s really saying that Dillon deserves better than me. I’m not good enough. She’s never thought I was good enough for her son, but to hear her finally vocalize it really stings.
She knows I get it too, so she pushes on. “If you go, you will only be holding him back. He’s not even twenty yet. Really, the boy can’t see through his lust for you long enough to see how he is endangering his career. It would have only taken them half the time to make it, if he weren’t so busy worrying about you over the last few years.”
I’m shaking my head. I don’t see how that can be true. He’s not visited once in that time and I’ve not bothered him. Only sporadic phone calls and letters. Yet here she stands, blaming me. Always blaming me. This time, I defend myself. “I won’t hold him back.”
“Yes, you will, even if you don’t mean to. Let him go and be free from this place.” I’m shaking my head adamantly. She goes in for the kill. “We all know you were secretly with my son when he was underage.” She lets that sink in. I almost laugh at this. She’s trying to make it sound like a sixteen and eighteen-year-old couple is something inappropriate.
“We’re both legal adults now,” I snap. I hate her for trying to make what Dillon and I have into something wrong.
“The papers won’t see it that way. They will see an adult woman taking advantage of an underage boy. You know how the papers would love to twist that around until you are painted as a pedophile.”
Her words make me sick. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“I will do whatever it takes for Dillon to be rid of the trash in his life. He deserves better. This is not the life for him.” The hate in her eyes is evil, and I have no doubt she will follow through with her threat. I can’t chance ruining Dillon’s life that w
ay.
I’ve heard all I want to hear so I slam the door in her hateful face. I can’t look at her for another minute. Her truthful words are ripping me apart. I know I’m not good enough, but for some reason I thought his love for me and my love for him could be enough. Dillon seems to think so. Maybe we are both still too young and too stupid to be making the decisions we thought we were ready to make. I just… I shake my head at myself and the empty room. I cannot be his regret.
I scribble on a piece of paper, Last night was a mistake. You need to move on, and leave it on the counter. Tears are plopping thickly on the note as I place the ring on top of it. I grab my bags, load up the Mustang, and peel out of the maintenance exit before anyone can stop me. I can’t be here when he shows back up. I can’t face him. I can’t tell Dillon Bleu goodbye…
Part Two
Second Chances
A little bit older and some wiser
Chapter Twelve
Cora was right. And I hated her a long time for it.
I hated her vehemently in the beginning for doing what she did. And I hated even more when I realized she was right. I hated that she forced my hand the way she did, completely crushing me. She was only thinking in the best interest of her son. I totally get that now. Of course she was absolutely right. I would have totally ended up being the ruin of Dillon Bleu and his dreams. Aunt Evie warned me all those years ago that one day I was going to end up making a choice that would lead to consequences that would follow me the rest of my life. Boy, was she not kidding.
