by T. I. Lowe
We stroll back into my cabin, and I feel pleasantly sun-kissed and groggy. It’s been an amazing day. A day I can hold on to after I mess everything up with Dillon.
Chapter Sixteen
Midday on Saturday, I stroll back into the small cabin to find it empty. There’s a note on the counter. It makes my stomach cringe, and man has my stomach been on a roller coaster ride ever since Dillon returned.
Jewels,
Spent better part of the night looking for you.
What gives?
Mave and Max need me so I’m heading out.
Call me. I want that ring on your finger by the time I get back.
Love, Dillon
BTW—Yesterday was incredible. I could write a song about it.
With this, I head right back out the door. I have some making up to do with Will. I snuck out after midnight to go see him. I promised Dillon the day and I gave him every minute of it. But as soon as he was out for the count, I headed over to Will. This double life is getting exhausting.
I find Will on the couch at the townhouse, zoned into some movie on the large flat-screen. I sneak up behind him and playfully place my hands over his eyes. “Guess who?” I whisper in his ear. I feel his cheeks turn up in a smile and that makes my day. He grabs ahold of my hands, so I drop them and give him a hug from behind. “How ‘bout you come home with me?” He nods his head and we are out the door in the next beat. I take the Dillon reprieve to make it up to Will.
As we ease back through the gates of the trailer park, Will’s eyes land on the luxury boat and jets skis tied off at the dock and sticking out like a sore thumb. “Man, those are tough. Why are they on the wrong side of the lake?” He may not have been a local for very long, but Will already knows the way things are around here.
“Someone got lost,” I say. I try to quickly dismiss this by going straight to our new cabin. We pull up and I look over to see the question along his features. “Welcome home!”
“Really?” I see the excitement has now replaced the questioning look.
“Yep. It’s ready for us to move in!” We exit the Mustang and he grabs hold of my hand as we go inside to inspect our new home. It’s gorgeous too. The walls are cedar wood paneling that rises and covers the ceiling as well. The smell, mixed with the freshly lacquered wood floors, is heavenly. The living room is to the front with a cozy kitchen towards the back. The upstairs is made up of two very roomy bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. It’s not an extravagant house, but it is to me and Will, and that’s all that matters. I just wish Aunt Evie was here to enjoy it with us. I wish she could have met Will too. I know she would have approved of him.
We spend our day moving into our home, only stopping long enough for a pizza. Leona and Jen stop in to help and to cut up with Will. He is such a charmer and women just gravitate towards him. And believe me, he seems to not mind one bit. I catch myself laughing as he animatedly tells the two some long tale. I definitely have a certain type of man for sure. Charming is all I can say.
We spend our first night in our new home and head to church this morning, a bit sore from all of the moving but totally happy. We make it just in time for the opening song. Will heads over to the small fellowship hall where he promised to help Brina, our neighbor, with children’s class. Brina has become another close friend of mine over the years. She is my age, but has her hands full with three rambunctious boys. They remind me of the twins and Kyle so much. I help her out as much as I can so she can work. Her husband left her a few months back and has yet to return. I say good riddance. He’s a mean man, and I have seen him be pretty violent towards her. I have already warned her if he returns they will all have to go. I’m not allowing such chaos around here.
I ease into a back pew beside Leona and am taken aback when I spot Dillon at the piano. My happy-go-lucky mood evaporates instantly with him being in the same vicinity as Will. This could be really bad.
The preacher stands behind the podium to read the select scripture for the day and briefly speaks. I’m ashamed to say I couldn’t tell you what he has said, because all of my focus is on Dillon. He sits patiently behind the piano, wearing a pair of black dress slacks and a grey dress shirt. The sleeves are rolled up with his tattoos exposed.
I lean over and whisper to Leona, “What is Dillon doing?”
“He arrived here before you and the entire church begged him to play,” she whispers back as she rubs her beautiful baby bump. She is due in only a few weeks, and I’m pretty excited to have a baby girl I get to help spoil. Her sweet husband, Grant, sits on her other side while holding her hand attentively.
“Now I know that was a short message, but I feel God has us a message waiting through song today,” Preacher Floyd says, drawing my attention back to him. With this he has a seat on the front pew and all eyes fall on Dillon.
Dillon’s hands move over the piano and the sanctuary comes to life with the melody so sweet. His head is bowed towards the keys and his eyes are closed. The small space has just been transformed into a cathedral with the fluid tunes Dillon beckons from the piano keys. His hands glide gracefully over the instrument. He plays for a while before adding the lyrics to “Amazing Grace.” This rendition is slow and sends chills all over me. He sings quietly and you know he’s not singing to us, but only for God. He is worshiping Him with this marvelous gift he has been blessed with, and the entire sanctuary is swept away in awe. Amens are breaking out all over and the spirit keeps growing sweeter and sweeter. I don’t even realize I’m crying until Leona hands me a tissue.
The next song Dillon brings forth from the piano is “Cry Out to Jesus.” He plays a few keys before saying, “This is for Aunt Evie.” This song is about grief over a loved one lost long before their time, and how you just didn’t feel like you had the opportunity to say goodbye. In times like that, all you can do is cry out to Jesus. I have done plenty of that, and feel like doing more now. Dillon wipes at his eyes a few times during the song and it chokes me up as well. I will never stop missing Aunt Evie until I get to see her again one day in heaven.
There is not a dry eye in the room by the time Dillon plays the last note. He plays through several of Aunt Evie’s favorite hymns—“Love Lifted Me,” “I Surrender All,” “The Solid Rock,” and “Just as I Am.” As he continues to play, I sit in this pew and mourn over the mess I’ve made. And for being in love with Dillon and not being able to stop it. Tears quietly slip down my face and I dab them away with my sleeve. It’s completely soaked through. I don’t know how to reconcile the wrong I’ve done to Dillon and the wrong I’m doing now to Will. I sense Dillon drawing to a close, so I scoot out the back door to head home before he can stop me.
* * * *
Everyone has decided that this Sunday’s meal is at my place, so I hustle over to town and grab a bucket of fried chicken with all of our favorite sides along with two gallons of sweet tea. I haven’t set the kitchen up yet, so the beggars aren’t allowed to be choosers today.
Once everyone is content with a generous plate of food, I slide out the back door and scoot over to my small cabin. I didn’t eat; worrying Dillon was going to come to the new cabin looking for me. The Harley is parked beside it just as I had suspected. Before I open the door, I already hear that he is inside playing his guitar. The mellow guitar riffs float outside, welcoming me. I nearly lose my nerve, but push on through the door anyway. It’s time I come clean with him about Will.
He smiles up at me from the couch and sets the guitar down. He’s changed into T-shirt and jeans and is casually barefooted. “You and your disappearing acts are starting to bug me, Jewels.” His dimples disappear when he takes in my expression. I’m sure it’s a mixture of guilt and regret. “Just drop it on me and get it over with,” he says brusquely. He’s a lot like me in this sense. Just rip the Band-Aid off in one quick snatch. No poking around it.
I can’t look at him, so I study my hands as I confess, “There’s someone I need to tell you about.” It comes out in a choked whisp
er, and I look up to make sure he has heard me. His brows are deeply furrowed in anger. Yep. He heard me. The hurt is etched all over his face.
Dillon is off the couch in an instant and is towering over me. “Who is he and where is he?”
He’s scaring me, so I take a step back with my hands in front of me. “Leave Will out of it. This is just between you and me.” I’m shaking a bit and try to calm down.
“You can’t marry him! He can’t have you!” Dillon shouts.
“I know this.” I begin to cry.
“Oh, so you’re just going to shack up with him? God don’t think too highly of that crap!”
I think it’s Dillon who doesn’t think too highly of this. I’m getting this all wrong. “You don’t understand—”
“You’re my wife, Jillian!” He’s called me Jillian and I think I’m going to throw up. He kicks the toy basket, launching it across the room. I’ve never seen him so upset. It’s scaring me.
“I know I’m your wife. I was there when we said the I do’s!” I shout back at him.
“Well. I’m starting to wonder if you didn’t get the whole reason for those vows. You ran off on me the very next morning.” Dillon is running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Does Will even know you’re married?” I shake my head because it’s the truth. I’ve never told anyone but Leona that I married Dillon five years ago. Yesterday was the first anniversary I actually spent with him. This has to have been the longest long-distance marriage in the history of marriages. And maybe the most screwed up.
“He’s a special part of my life,” I try to explain but I’m getting it all wrong.
“But you’re mine.” He is still glowering over me.
“If you’re so keen on wanting me as your wife, then why on earth did you stay away for so long?” I’m getting mad now. Hot tears spill down my cheeks.
“I let you push me away. I was broken at first. Then I got good and pissed with you. I figured I needed to prove myself worthy of you, so I set out to becoming a man worthy enough. You’ve took care of me all my life, I was determined to fix it so I could take care of you for the rest of yours.” His voice goes hoarse, so he stops to clear his throat. “Then the next thing I know, I’m on tour, then in the studio recording another album. Another year escapes me and then the international tour got underway. I blinked my eyes and lost five years, but I gained so much in that time.”
I’m crying, so even though he’s fuming with me, Dillon wraps his arms around me. “I’m not that boy who blindly ran off into the world nearly a decade ago. I’ve done a lot of living since then. I’ve seen a lot of life that I needed you there for. My life ain’t right without you. I’m lost without you.” He runs his hand through my hair. “Even before things started going down with Mave, I knew it was time to come home. You’re my home, Jewels. Please tell me it's not too late.” His eyes redden with hurt.
I don’t know how to explain. I open my mouth to speak when I see a change in his expression from my hesitation. A bit defeated, he releases me and starts packing his bag. “I’m spending the week with Max,” he says between sniffs. “Mave is going through some brutal withdrawals.” He’s shaking his head in frustration. “I got to focus on that right now. Mave has to be my top priority.” He shoves his wallet and keys into his pockets, and then pulls on his boots in aggression. Once his bag is packed, Dillon faces me. “You’ve got one week to let the dude know you have a husband. Put your wedding ring back on,” he says vehemently, pointing at my ring finger. “Or be ready to sign some divorce papers.” The last part is only a hoarse whisper. He slams the door on the way out, and moments later he is peeling out on his bike.
I watch him disappear through the gates and realize I have just screwed up big time. That was not how I envisioned that going at all. I stumble over to the rocking chair and cry it all out as memories of my wedding keeps me company. That night five years ago, Dillon had pulled that marriage license out of his guitar case, beaming with hope and had asked me to commit to being his wife that very night. He said he couldn’t wait any longer, and he needed me by his side. I was shocked at first by the unexpected request, but quickly agreed anyway. How could I not? My best friend, my first and only love wanted to keep me forever. Of course, I agreed. With Ben’s help, Dillon had everything already arranged by the time we had arrived at our little home church.
I pledged my life to him in a simple ceremony that spring. It had been nearing midnight by the time we were secretly tucked inside our church. Midnight has always held a special time for us, always using that significant hour as a symbolic testament to the importance for each of our loved ones. Although this time it was chosen for privacy concerns, it still made the event that more sacred to me. This was also the very place where Dillon had first admitted his feelings for me, making so fitting to be the place he chose for us to commit to those feelings.
The quaint sanctuary had been illuminated with warm glowing candles and lent an intimate feel to the evening. It was simple, yet breathtaking. As I walked down that short aisle, my heart had beaten wildly in my chest, not from fear, but with pure joy and excitement. Leona had lent me a vintage lace gown she unearthed on that treasure hunt all those years ago in our shed. Dillon wore simple black jeans and a white button-down shirt, but looked priceless. We vowed to love one another completely that night before only God and our few guests, who only included Leona, Trace, and the pastor. Nothing fancy by the world’s standards, but it was perfect to me.
Dillon had pulled me out the back door of the church after excusing our few guests that night and placed us in the very spot we had shared that first kiss. He held me and whispered how incredible it had been to finally love me the way he had wanted to for so long.
He had tilted my head back, and while skimming his fingers along my cheek, he whispered, “I want that kiss back now.” We kissed and then danced in the moonlight of that abandoned church parking lot. He sang as we danced and then not being able to get close enough, decided it was time for the honeymoon. A night I carry with me daily. To be loved by Dillon Bleu is such a divine treasure.
I was so excited that I was finally going to get to keep Dillon forever, after years of coming to terms of him not being attainable. He wanted me and that was all I focused on until the next morning when Cora showed up to serve me up a healthy serving of reality. Yes, she forced my hand to let him go, but we both had only wanted the best for her son. I don’t think Dillon thought that choice of marrying me that night all the way through, anyway. We were so naïve, and I’m still facing the consequences of that.
I walk over to the armoire and pull out the small keepsake box that holds two treasures dear to my heart—my wedding ring and our wedding certificate. I open the lid and pull out the emerald and diamond ring. I place a kiss on the cool, smooth stone before slipping it on my finger for the first time since the wedding. It still fits perfectly. More tears trickle down my face as I try unsuccessfully to figure out how to fix everything. I just don’t know how, so I slip the ring back off and put it back away for now.
Chapter Seventeen
So I’m married… With an estranged husband. Only months after mine and Cora’s final spat, a lawyer showed up at my door. I thought for sure it was for an annulment, but ended up being a confidentiality agreement for me to sign. It stated that I was not allowed to share any personal information pertaining to any member of Bleu Streak. Those papers had Cora written all over them. I would never share anything about them, so I agreed to sign the papers without any qualms to prove it. Everything stinks. Things can’t get any worse. Right? Wrong. Things can always be worse.
Even though Dillon has not been here this week, the media thinks differently. I’ve been trying to convince them otherwise, but they ain’t having it. Luckily, Dillon left the guards on duty while he’s been gone. We’ve only had minimal intruders to kick out. The headlines vary from ROCKER DILLON BLEU HIDES OUT IN NONE OTHER THAN A TRAILER PARK to THE WORLD IS BLEU WITH DILLON HIDING. Pictures of
his empty boat are normally paired with these headlines. To my embarrassment, photos of us getting cozy on his boat are floating around too. ROCK LEGEND BLEU SPOTTED WITH A MYSTERY WOMAN. I laugh at being called a mystery. I’m sure with some more digging they will find out I’m just an ordinary nobody who’s far from mysterious.
Boy, am I glad Will hasn’t got wind of it. He knows about the uproar around town about the celebrity hanging out. He just doesn’t know the celebrity has been hanging out with me and the celebrity in question is none other than my husband. Things are going to get worse! I’m still trying to decide how to break it to him about Dillon.
We’ve had our own uproar, white-trash style. Tuesday night, Brina’s own estranged husband, Bubba, decides to show up, drunk as a skunk. Before he even made it to her, the idiot crashed a golf cart in the pool, taking out some of my lounge chairs along the way. How he got ahold of it is still a little unclear. Somehow he entered the back gate on foot. I guess he got tired of walking and stole the cart from one of the RV residences. The drunk ended up getting over to her and commenced to beating the daylights out of her sister, thinking it was Brina. That’s how wasted he was. So Brina jumps him from behind, and the next thing I know, I’m in the midst of it, and all three of us going redneck style on him and beating him with anything we could get our hands on. The old trailer rocked in protest as we bounced around the small space. I ended up cracking him over the head with a beer bottle to bring the fiasco to an end. Luckily all the kids were down at the pier for s’mores night with Jen.
The cops eventually showed up to haul him away and actually looked the other way when it came to our bruised knuckles. That is definitely a first in these parts. It was dawn by the time we had Brina’s small trailer squared back away from the broken glass and overturned furniture. All the kids spent the following day and night with me and Will, while she got her bearings back.
